Craving Constellations (19 page)

As I sat there, eyeing him from the edge of the bed, he noticed me watching, and he started to chuckle.

“Like what you see, baby?”

“What?” I was still in the fog I’d drifted into when he’d dropped his towel.

“You gonna get dressed, Brenna? Gotta say, baby, I like what you’re wearin’, but I won’t like it if Casper sees it when he gets here in ten minutes.”

I could hear the amusement in his voice, and it snapped me out of my daydreaming.

“Shit!” I started scrambling around the room, grabbing a bra and panties, while trying not to drop my towel.

Before I could get anything on, Dragon was in my space, kissing me and pulling the towel from around my body.

“Christ, woman. How do you look so damn good all the time? Wearing none a’that shit that other broads spend hours on, and you still look ten times better than any of ’em.”

He kissed me one last time, squeezed my ass tightly with both hands, and sat down on the bed where I’d been just minutes before. I just stood there for a second, wondering what to do, but when I heard the roar of pipes, I rushed to get dressed. I didn’t have time to worry about Dragon watching me hop around the room, trying to pull my jean shorts on. When I was finally dressed, he pulled me between his thighs with his hands on each side of my waist.

“I’m gonna take your old phone and trash it. I know that dick’s been calling you, and that shit’s gotta stop. You file for divorce yet?” he asked, watching me like a hawk.

“Yeah, when we first got here. Vera helped me fill out the paperwork.”

“Okay, there ain’t no reason for him to keep callin’. That phone I got you does all sorts of shit. I had Vera put in everyone’s phone numbers last night, so you should be good to go. It’s also got Internet if you want it since we don’t get that shit out here. You need to use it as a hot spot. You tell me, and I’ll set that shit up.”

“Okay,” I whispered.

He was taking care of me, and I loved it.

“Okay.” He smiled back at me. “I’ll be home early. You see if Vera can take Trix overnight soon. My balls are probably fuckin’ purple after that shower this morning. If you woulda given me a boy, I coulda told him to piss out the damn window.” He chuckled. “We need some fuckin’ time to ourselves.”

He leaned up and kissed me softly, still chuckling about the pissing-out-the-window comment and walked out of the bedroom. I was glad he was in a hurry, or he would have noticed that I hadn’t moved an inch since he mentioned giving him a boy. I was frozen solid, my mind racing with the memories I was desperately trying to beat back. I didn’t know how long I stood there after hearing his bike leave before Trix came running into the bedroom.

“Mama! Auntie Vera is here!”

“Okay, baby,” I answered and grabbed her hand as we walked toward the front of the house. I needed to get my shit together before Vera noticed anything was off.

Our picnic was fantastic. Vera and I sat out on a blanket and watched Trix run around the backyard, picking flowers and spinning like a top. I loved the space we had out here; there were no houses for miles around, and as Trix got older, she’d be able to come out here and play without me having to watch her every second. The sun was high in the sky, and it was hot as hell when Trix started begging me to run through the sprinkler. Vera had the foresight to grab one when she’d went grocery shopping for me, and Trix had been playing with it and asking nonstop when she’d be able to use it. I finally gave the okay, and Vera helped Trix strip down to her underwear as I rounded the side of the house to get the hose.

The recruit that had been keeping an eye on things was on the front porch steps, knees wide with his elbows resting on them, holding a phone. He glanced up when he heard me and quickly stood up as I rounded the house.

“Hey, I don’t think we’ve actually met. I’m Brenna.” I gave a little wave.

“Yeah, nice to meet you. Casper,” he told me with a nod of his head.

“Casper?”

The boys came up with stupid nicknames all the time, and they stuck. I knew this. But I couldn’t figure out why they would give this dark-skinned kid the name Casper.

“Uh, yeah.”

He took a few steps closer, and it clicked into place. His eyes were the lightest shade of blue I’d ever seen. They were almost white. When you matched them with his dark skin, he could have looked pretty freaky. But the way he was looking at me didn’t make me feel anything but comfortable.

“Ah. Your eyes. I get it,” I said with a smile.

The kid was handsome. If I were a few years younger, I would have been checking him out, but the life I’d lived the last five years left me feeling old enough to be his mother.

“Yeah. Genetics are a funny thing. My mom was Hispanic, but my dad had red hair, almost like yours. My sister and I both got all of our mom’s features, but our eyes are like our dad’s. It’s pretty fucking weird since brown eyes are dominant.” He shook his head and grabbed his phone again as I started walking toward the hose at the side of the porch.

“You can come out back with us if you want,” I called with my back to him. “We’ve got soda and stuff back there. Lunch. Plus, Trix is going to be running through the sprinkler like a maniac, which should be fun times.” I grabbed the hose and spun back around with a smile on my face that quickly disappeared by the look on his.

“I need to bring you up to the gates. Some official is up there, and they’re not letting her through, but they said you need to get up there.” He looked at me worriedly.

“What?” I couldn’t understand what was going on.

“We have to go to the gates, Brenna. You want me to let Vera know?”

He started to walk around back, but I stopped him.

“No, I’ll just bring this hose back and let her know. No reason for Trix to miss out on the sprinkler.”

I hurried around the house and found Trix with her head on Vera’s lap on the picnic blanket. Vera raised her finger to her lips to keep me quiet, but as soon as I got close, Trix popped up and started clapping her hands.

“You little faker! I thought you were sleepin’!”

Vera teased her as I set down the end of the hose. She was tickling Trix, making her scream and laugh, when I finally got her attention.

“Vera, I have to go to the front gate,” I told her quietly. “One of the boys called Casper. They need me at the front. Can you keep Trix here?”

“Sure, darlin’. No problem. You ridin’ with Casper?” she asked as I stood back up.

“Yeah, he said he’d give me a ride.” My mind was racing with possibilities.

“Dragon ain’t gonna like that.”

“I can’t argue about this right now. I have to get up there.” I shook my head. “Give me a kiss, Trix. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Once I got back to the front of the house, Casper fired up his bike, and we took off toward the gate. It only took us a couple of minutes to get there, and when I saw the group there, my stomach dropped.

Dragon and Pop were arguing with some man in a cheap suit while a lady dressed in a matching suit stood by the side of a government-issued car. They seemed to be arguing about getting on to the compound as the lady watched with a scowl on her face.

“Hey, what’s going on?” I called out, refusing to let my voice show my fear.

“Are you Brenna Richards?” the lady asked me in a tone that made it clear she thought I was trash.

Dragon growled as I answered her, “Yes, I am. What’s this about?”

“You’ve been served,” she told me as she handed over a manila envelope and started back toward the driver’s side of the car.

I stood there, shaking, as I watched my pop say something to the man in the suit before he hurried to the passenger seat of the car.

“Fuckin’ cunt. Couldn’t even let the man drive the fuckin’ car; she wants to have a dick so bad,” Dragon grumbled as he wrapped his arms around me.

I couldn’t move. I just stood there, staring at the envelope like it was a snake ready to strike. I didn’t want to open it. I didn’t want to know what was inside.

Dragon finally realized that I was shaken up, and he took the envelope from me as he set me on the back of his bike. “Casper! Goin’ home for the night. You’re off shift. Poet, you heading back with us?”

I didn’t see or hear either of their answers because I had my face pressed tightly into the back of Dragon’s cut, trying to keep out the entire world.

By the time we reached the house just a couple minutes later, I was desperate to read the papers in the envelope. I wasn’t sure why my feelings had changed so quickly, but I had to find out what was happening. I ripped the envelope out of Dragon’s hand the minute I climbed off his bike and tore it open. The sound that came from my throat when I realized what the papers entailed would have scared me if I were aware of it. I dropped to my knees in the gravel and started rocking, letting the pieces of paper flutter out around me. This couldn’t be happening. He couldn’t be doing this.

“What the hell, Brenna?” Pop called from across the driveway.

But I couldn’t tell him. I couldn’t say anything because if I did, I was afraid I would start screaming and never stop. I just knelt there as Dragon dropped down beside me and started gathering the papers, all the while trying to hold me still.

“Read this,” he ordered, handing my pop the stack of papers. “Find out what the
fuck
is going on right now.”

He lifted me in his arms and cradled me tightly as I started wiggling. I could tell he thought I wanted him to put me down, but it was just the opposite. I wanted to crawl inside him. I wanted to take Trix and live inside him where Tony could never get to us—where we’d always be safe. I couldn’t get close enough. Faintly, I heard the sounds of Trix playing in the backyard, laughing at the top of her lungs, but I couldn’t even process it. I couldn’t process anything.

I barely noticed when Dragon laid me down on the bed and wrapped me tightly in the comforter we’d used the night before. He sat with me for a while, rubbing my head and whispering comforting things, until I closed my eyes. I was hoping he’d think I’d fallen asleep. Once he left the room, I heard him talking to Pop, and I knew they were trying to figure out how we would fight this. I just needed a minute to myself before I went out and got Trix dried off and dressed. I just needed a minute to wallow and worry and panic before she saw me.

The reason I left Tony was playing in the yard, and for the first time in her life, she was happy and secure enough to laugh at the top of her lungs. She was slowly coming out of her shell and felt comfortable enough to whine like any other kid her age. She was happy, and it was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.

It was all going to come crashing down around us, and my chest physically ached at the thought of Trix retreating back into the shell she’d been in since birth.

My nightmare, the very thing I’d been running from, had caught up to me. Tony was suing me for full custody of
my
daughter, and he had the money and the lawyers to win.

Trix came bounding into the room, fully dressed, before I could make myself crawl out of my cocoon. Dragon was close behind her, trying to keep her from waking me up, but he paused when he noticed my eyes were open.

“Hey, Mama. You tired?” Trix asked me, and I could see the apprehension in her eyes.

She was far too perceptive for me to play it off. She slowed down as she reached the bed and gingerly started to crawl up like she’d done a hundred times before. I didn’t want her thinking I was hurt, so I quickly shoved my arms out of the blankets and grabbed her up, pulling her on top of me.

“Hey, baby girl! You have fun in the sprinkler?”

She was confused about me lying in bed in the middle of the day, but she was giggling cautiously as I squeezed my arms around her middle.

“Yeah, let’s do it again tomorrow!” she told me with her eyes wide.

“If it’s warm out again, we can. Maybe I’ll get in tomorrow!”

She laughed as I rolled her to my side and pulled the blankets up and over our heads. The light shining through the windows let me see her face clearly, and she was once again the happy girl I was coming to expect. Once we were under the covers, she started whispering, like she was telling me a big secret.

“Papa said I get to stay the night at Auntie Vera’s tonight! Can I come home tomorrow, so we can do the sprinkler?” she asked with her eyebrows lowered questioningly.