Craving (Steel Brothers Saga Book 1) (4 page)

H
e did it
. He really just left me standing in the kitchen after giving me a kiss even more amazing than the last one. I didn’t know what to make of it. Should I talk to Marj about it? Would she even want to know? Would she be comfortable with her brother kissing her best friend?

I let out a heavy sigh and took a few more sips of my tea, which had grown lukewarm. I would have to stop these little midnight visits to the kitchen.

I picked up my robe and put it back on, a shiver overtaking me. My nipples were still hard against the fabric of my tank. God…when he touched them, pinched them…I’d nearly shattered right then and there. Two kisses from Talon Steel had affected me more and been more exciting than seven years of kisses with Colin Morse.

Thank God he had left me at the altar, or I’d be married to one man without ever knowing what it felt like to love another.

I shook my head rapidly to clear it. I was not in love with Talon Steel. I’d known him for two days. He was such an enigma. He didn’t sleep, ended up in his kitchen every night, and now he had kissed me twice for no apparent reason. He’d never said anything about it. Not like there was a lot to say, but shouldn’t he at least mention it to me in passing? Apologize if he didn’t mean to do it? And I sincerely hoped he meant to do it.

My legs trembled, and I sat back down at the table. Damn. Colin had never made my legs tremble, at least not like this. Talon Steel was fucking amazing. Flawless looks, the best kissing in the world… But he still wore that armor.

My talk with Marj hadn’t revealed anything. Clearly, she didn’t know her brother any better than I did. Maybe the people I should be talking to were Jonah and Ryan, but I had only seen them in passing since they both lived outside of the main house.

In the morning, I’d go out on the ranch and talk to one of them. Or I could drive over to the vineyards. That was where Ryan would be. He was the winemaker.

Finally, I stood. Time to get back to bed. But I wouldn’t sleep.

If only I had brought a vibrator with me…

I
n the morning after breakfast
, I told Marj I would do some exploring on my own. I hopped in the Ford Mustang they had allowed me to use, set my GPS, and drove over to the Steel vineyards. I didn’t want to bother Ryan, but it couldn’t hurt to see if he had a few minutes to talk to me.

The scenery was lush and green—acres and acres of pastureland for their beef cattle, and little houses dotted the area as well, where their hired people lived. When I passed all of the pastureland, I came to the orchard. The apple and peach trees were in bloom, and the sweet smell of their blossoms wafted into the car. I inhaled deeply. Marj raved about Western slope peaches. She also said that Ryan, as well as making traditional wine from grapes, made an apple wine and a peach wine in a dry style. Most fruit wines I’d tasted in the past were so sweet. I was excited to try Ryan’s offerings.

When I finally drove to the end of orchard, I came to the vineyards. They were also in bloom. I’d have to ask Ryan what kind of grapes he grew here. The Steels made a Merlot, a Cab, a Rhône blend, a traditional table red blend, and several others. Could he possibly grow all of those grapes here? Or did he bring some in from California? All good questions, and I was actually interested. That would give me a good segue into talking about Talon. I could start with Ryan by telling him I had an interest in the wine business. That wasn’t even a lie. I loved a quality glass of wine. Enology had always interested me.

On that job issue… Maybe Ryan could use me at the winery. At least until I got my bar results. I’d been working since I was sixteen years old. Didn’t feel right to me not to be earning something. All through college and law school, I worked twenty to thirty hours a week, waiting tables during college and then as a law clerk during law school.

Perfect… Of course, I was putting the cart before the horse. Maybe Ryan didn’t need any help at the winery right now. After all, he wouldn’t actually be making wine until harvest time. But it didn’t hurt to ask.

I drove up the gravel driveway to the winery office and tasting room. I’d been here once before when I visited Marj on the ranch during college. We’d thought it great fun to get to taste all the wines even though neither of us was twenty-one yet.

I parked and walked in. A woman sat behind a small desk, typing on a computer.

“Hi,” I said. “Is…Ryan around today?”

“Yeah, he’s over in the warehouse, tasting wine from some of the barrels. Is he expecting you?”

“No, not really. I’m Jade Roberts, Marjorie’s friend. I’m staying at the ranch for a while until I get settled here. I was wondering if you guys needed any help here around the vineyards. I’m looking for work.”

“You’d have to ask Ryan about that. I don’t really know.”

“Can I just go over and…ask him?”

The woman nodded. “I’m Marion, by the way. Tell him I said to go on over. You can see the warehouse from here.”

“Thanks so much.”

I left the office and walked toward the big warehouse where the barrels were housed. Steel Vineyards was a state-of-the-art establishment, but still I imagined Lucy Ricardo stomping grapes. I let out a giggle. I’d loved Lucy since I discovered the black-and-white reruns when I was a kid. What would grapes feel like between my toes?

I hesitantly opened the door to the warehouse. I had been here before, but I’d forgotten how huge the stainless steel barrels were. The place was spick-and-span spotless. I’d been surprised when I first saw the place several years ago. I had been expecting old wooden barrels. Nope, not for Steel vineyards. Everything up to date and state of the art. Several employees milled about, none of them paying me any mind. I looked around until I saw Ryan over in the corner with a wineglass, taking a sample from one of the barrels.

I gathered my courage and strode over.

“Hi, Ryan.”

He looked up. Same dark eyes as Talon, but not as brooding. “Oh, Jade. Hey, great to see you. Sorry I haven’t been up to the house.”

“No worries. I’ve only been here a few days. I wanted to come by and say hi.”

“Great. I’m glad you did. Here, you want to taste this with me?”

“Sure.” I nodded. “What is it?”

“It’s my version of a dry rosé made with Grenache, Syrah, and Cinsault. Kind of like a French rosé.” He handed me a glass of the pink liquid.

I took a sip. “Wow, it’s really good.” Here was my chance to impress him. “It’s very fruit forward, raspberries on the nose. But I like the acidity. Makes it feel dry even with the fruitiness.”

Ryan smiled. “Pretty good for an amateur. I’m getting all that plus a little bit of plum, tiny bit of sweet pepper.”

Sweet pepper? Like red bell pepper? I definitely didn’t get that, but I wasn’t about to tell him. “Oh, yeah, now that you mention it…”

“This will be ready for bottling come fall.” Ryan looked around. “So what have you been up to since you’ve been here?”

“Not a lot. Marj showed me around the city. But until I get my bar results, which won’t happen for a few weeks or so, I can’t get a job practicing law.”

“Just relax, then. We’ve got all kinds of stuff to do around here. You won’t be bored.”

“It’s not being bored I’m worried about. I like to be earning something, and…I was wondering if maybe you could use some help around here. I love wine, and I’d love to learn more about it.”

“Well, we get the busiest around harvest time and bottling time. Both of those happen around the same time in the fall. Bottling goes into the winter sometimes. So there’s not a lot to do around here right now, but I suppose you could always help Marion in the office if you don’t mind busy work.”

“I don’t mind busy work at all. I’ve been doing clerical stuff for my dad for years. I’d love it, but if you don’t need the help…”

His eyes brightened. “Actually, I think Marion would appreciate it very much. And also”—he stroked his chin—“I think I could use you in the tasting room. If you’re truly interested in wine, I could give you a little guidance, and you could run tastings.”

My mouth dropped open. “Really? I would love that.”

“The pay’s not much. Not for someone who’s waiting for a job as a lawyer. Fifteen bucks an hour. But I could probably get you twenty to thirty hours a week between helping Marion and helping in the tasting room.”

“Hey, the pay is great. I’ve been working since I was sixteen, and I just hate not to be earning something. I really appreciate the fact that you guys are letting me stay here, but I don’t want to be a total sponge.”

“Are you kidding me? Marjorie has been so excited to have you. And we have room and plenty of everything to go around. But I understand how you feel, and I actually really could use your help.”

“This is so awesome, Ryan. Thank you so much.”

He grinned. He resembled Talon quite a bit, except his nose was still perfect. Obviously, it hadn’t been broken. Is this what Talon would look like when he smiled? I had never seen Talon smile. Not really. What would it take to get a true smile out of him?

“Let’s go back to the office. We’ll fill out some paperwork, and I’ll introduce you to Marion.”

“We’ve already met. I asked her where to find you.”

“Great. Let’s take a walk.”

As we walked, I itched to bring up Talon. How exactly did one bring him up in conversation?
Hey, what’s going on with your brother?

When we got back to the office, Ryan filled Marion in, and she set about rooting out the tax forms I had to sign.

Once everything was in order, Ryan said, “The tasting room is just behind the office. Let me show you. People visit the winery a lot during the summer, and we offer free tastings of our current releases.”

The tasting room was basically just a conference table with a buffet on one end that held lots of wineglasses. A bar sat along the far wall.

“The wines are back here.” Ryan pointed to a refrigerated wine cabinet. “You just open four or five bottles of our current releases and pour. Simple enough. Answer questions about the wine if the people have any. I’ll have you sit in on a few that I do and that Mike does. He’s my second-in-command around here, although he’s off for a week on vacation right now.”

“This is awesome, Ryan. I’m so excited.”

“You’ll find it’s not as glamorous as you think. But I enjoy it.”

“Are you kidding? You’re an artist.”

“Well, I’ve won a few awards in my day.” He grinned again.

I sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Now or never. “Ryan, could I ask you question?”

“Sure. Go ahead.”

I bit my lip. “I was wondering about your brother. Talon. He seems… I don’t know.”

“Have you had a run-in with him?”

Well, yeah. He kissed me twice in the middle of the night.
“No, no, nothing like that. He’s the one who picked me up at the airport a few days ago. He was just so…”

“A little off?”

I nodded. “Yes, that’s it exactly.”

Ryan blew out a breath. “You know he was in Iraq for a while.”

“Yeah, I know. I figured that’s what it was.”

“Well…there were things before then, even. But it’s Talon’s story to tell, not mine. If he’s bothering you, just ignore him.”

“No, that’s not what I meant. He’s not bothering me. I just would like to know more about him.”

“He’s pretty much a closed book.”

“I figured as much.” That armor I had sensed the first time I met him—so apparent, although invisible. I could feel it, as if it were a living, breathing entity enclosing him.

“Don’t let him get to you,” Ryan said. “He’s been through a lot. Just hang out with Marjorie, and starting tomorrow, you can hang out here with Marion and me and the rest of us. When did you say you get your bar results?”

“It could be as soon as a few weeks to a month. Or it could be longer. I frantically check the website every day to see if it’s been updated.”

Ryan laughed. “I imagine that’s pretty nerve-racking.”

“No kidding. Those were the most challenging two days of my life. And I’d better pass, because I am certainly never taking the damn thing again.”

“Well, if you don’t pass and you don’t want to take it again, maybe you can become a winemaker.” He smiled.

Gorgeous smile. Funny, though. It didn’t affect me at all. I didn’t feel any pull. It was Talon, who never smiled, who drew me like a magnet.

“I’ll have to think about that.” I laughed. “What time do you want me here tomorrow?”

“Let’s say nine for now. When things get busier, we start at eight, and sometimes even seven.”

“Not a problem. I can do that.” It would give me something to focus on. And I’d better start sleeping if I had to get up early, which meant no more midnight rendezvous with Talon.

All for the best.

I thanked Ryan again, stopped at the office and said good-bye to Marion, and drove back to the main house.

I walked in the front door. “Marj?” I called.

No response. I checked my watch. Noon. No wonder I was hungry. I walked into the kitchen, this time in broad daylight, and there was Talon sitting at the table, that adorable dog at his feet.

He was staring at a full glass of water.

“
S
o is
this your MO at noon as well as midnight?”

I looked up. Jade. Well, what had I expected? She lived here now.

“Don’t mind me,” she said. “I’m just going to make myself a sandwich.”

“Felicia can make you something.”

Jade turned her head. “Where is she?”

“She ran to the market.”

“If she’s not here, how can she make me anything?” Jade walked to the refrigerator and opened it.

“She’ll be back.”

Jade laughed. “I’m perfectly capable of fixing my lunch. Can I get you anything?”

“No. I’ll wait for Felicia to get back.”

“Suit yourself.”

Jade rumbled about in the kitchen, and within a few minutes, sizzling sounds and the robust scent of cheddar cheese drifted over to me.

“What are you making?”

“Grilled cheddar and tomato sandwich, one of my favorites.”

My mouth began water. Damn, that sounded good. But I couldn’t ask her to…

“Sure I can’t make one for you?”

“Well…I don’t know how long Felicia is going to be. I am kind of hungry…”

She clomped over to me and stood at the other end of the table, glaring at me with her steely eyes. “I am more than happy to make you a sandwich. It is not a problem. It is not a bother. But you have to tell me that you want it.”

God, when she looked at me, I became defenseless. She could see right through those walls. I knew it. And somehow, I could tell that she knew it too.

I couldn’t let her in. I’d already kissed her twice. If I let her make me a sandwich… Oh, fuck. It was a goddamn sandwich. “I want it,” I said.

She pursed her pretty red lips. “A ‘please’ might’ve been nice, but I’ll take it.” She walked back to the counter and brought over a sandwich on a plate. “You can have this one. I’ll make myself another.”

“I didn’t mean to take your sandwich.”

“It’s no bother,” she said through gritted teeth. “You’re letting me live in your house, Talon. And you know what? Even if I weren’t a guest in your home, I would still offer to make you a sandwich. Do you know why?”

Was I supposed to answer? Or was it a rhetorical question? I arched my eyebrows.

“Because I’m a nice person. Because it’s a nice thing to do.”

She walked back to the cooktop. I turned around and watched her create another sandwich for herself. She was at ease in the kitchen. I didn’t have a lot of memories of my own mother, but of the few I had, none of them included her standing in the kitchen making a meal for me. For any of us, for that matter. We always had a cook and housekeeper. One of the benefits of being born a Steel, I guess. There didn’t seem to be many more benefits, at least not in my case.

I turned back around and took a bit of bite of my sandwich— “Shit!”

“Sorry. The cheese is going to be really hot. You might want to wait a few minutes before eating it.”

If only she had given me that warning ten seconds earlier. The skin on the roof of my mouth was bubbling. Once it cooled down though, and I took another bite, the sandwich was really good. Delicious, even. Had Felicia been home, she would’ve whipped up some enchiladas or tamales for me. She was an amazing cook, and not just her native food either. But damn… Even as I sat thinking of Felicia’s prime rib, a rack of lamb with rosemary and mint, her roast pheasant with cherry and walnut chutney…I swear to God, nothing tasted as good as that damned grilled cheddar and tomato sandwich that Jade had made for me.

A minute or two later, Jade sat back down at the table with her own sandwich. She pulled one of the pieces of bread up, and steam flew out from the melted cheese. “This helps cool it off,” she said.

I took another bite of mine and swallowed. “It’s really good.”

“Simple grilled cheese and tomato. Even better with a homemade tomato bisque.”

“Where did you learn how to cook?” I asked.

“I’d hardly call this cooking. I’m not Marj. But I do know how to make things other than grilled cheese. I told you that my mom left my dad and me when I was quite young. He’s not a bad cook, but he worked so much that I had to learn to do the cooking once I was old enough. I learned most of it from my grandmother, my dad’s mom, but she passed away by the time I was ten. I still had her old and worn-out
Better Homes & Gardens
cookbook. It’s not gourmet, but it’s good and edible.”

“Well, this is a really good sandwich. I never would’ve thought of putting tomato on it.”

“I actually came up with that one myself, although years later I found out that a lot of people like grilled cheese and tomato, which is why grilled cheese and tomato soup are so popular together.”

“It’s delicious.”
Thank you
. The words sat on the tip of my tongue. Why couldn’t I utter them? Jade had done something nice for me, and the sandwich truly was delicious. It had been so long since I’d said those words to anyone and meant them. Rather, I changed the subject. “What have you been doing today?”

“I drove over to the winery to talk to Ryan.”

A sharp pain stabbed me in my gut. Why the hell was she talking to Ryan? Ryan was known as the most jovial and best-looking Steel brother. The guy always had a smile on his face. No baggage for that one. Of course not. I had saved him that day.

“He’s going to give me some work over at the winery until I get my bar results.”

Thank God. So that’s all it was. Jade was interested in wine.

“What kind of work?”

“Nothing too exciting. Mostly helping Marion around the office with busy work. He did say he would train me to do tastings. I’m really excited about that opportunity.”

“Yeah, he opens up the winery for tastings all day on Friday and Saturdays. We get quite a good crowd there. He doesn’t charge for the tastings, but that doesn’t matter, because most people end up buying a case or two of wine.”

“Do you like wine?”

“I’m more of a bourbon or whiskey man myself. Peach Street is my favorite.”

“I’ve never heard of that.”

“It’s made here in Colorado. It’s some smooth stuff, let me tell you. Colorado makes some amazing whiskeys. Breckenridge and Stranahan’s are two other great ones.”

“I’ll have to try them sometime. I’m not much into hard liquor, or beer, for that matter. My preference is wine when I drink at all. Which isn’t a lot.”

No longer scalding hot, the rest of my sandwich was amazing. The sharpness of the cheddar and sweet acidity of the tomato combined with the whole-wheat bread into a succulent delicacy. I opened my mouth to say again how delicious it was but decided against it. No sense beating a dead horse.

Jade finished her sandwich just as I took the last bite of mine. She stood, grabbed her plate and then mine, walked over to the sink, and ran water over them.

For an instant, I imagined we were husband and wife. She had made my lunch for me and picked up my plate. No one other than Felicia, or whoever the cook/housekeeper of the day was, had ever picked up after me. Not my mother, not my father, and certainly not my brothers or sister. Was I supposed to say thank you for that as well?

Why was it so hard? Usually I said thank you to Felicia. That was impersonal. It was a trained response. I took Felicia for granted. I knew I did. I pretty much took everything for granted.

Jade tussled around the kitchen, putting something in the microwave. “I’m making a cup of tea,” she said. “You want anything?”

There she went again. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why this was so amazing to me. “No thanks.” Although a cup of tea did sound good.

I rose, walked to the cupboard, pulled out a mug, and filled it with water. When the microwave dinged, and she took her cup out, I put mine in.

“What in the hell are you doing?” she asked me, her eyebrows arched.

“I’m making some tea.”

She shook her head. “What? The tea I offered wasn’t good enough for you?”

My cheeks warmed. “No, I…I just didn’t want to be a bother.”

She shook her head again, letting out a heavy sigh. “I really don’t get you, Talon. I was over here making a cup of tea. It would not have been any trouble to make another cup of tea. In fact, I could have put both cups in the microwave at the same time, and they’d be done by now.”

Great. Now I felt like a piece of shit. Of course, since I always felt like a piece of shit, this was really nothing new. “Now you don’t have to bother.”

“Oh, for the love of God!” She pounded her fist on the counter. “Damn it, that hurt!”

“These counters are solid granite.”

“Yes, yes. And I’m used to cheap Formica. Well, you got that right. Enjoy your tea.” She took hers and turned, walking toward the table.

But she passed the table and headed for the hallway.

Something stirred within me. I wasn’t ready to let her go yet. I wanted to spend more time with her. But how? If I asked her to stay and drink tea with me, she probably would.
So ask her, Talon. Just fucking ask her.

But my lips stayed clamped shut. If I let her anymore near me, the walls that were already beginning to crumble in her presence would come crashing down.

What was it about her? Why did I want her so much?

I had to stay away from her. Ryan probably didn’t have room for me in the guest house, but Jonah might have some room in his house. I’d go over and see him this afternoon and find out. And then I’d go into town and start the process for a permit to build my own structure here on the ranch. I needed to get far away from Jade Roberts. For her own good as well as mine.

J
onah was in his office
, decked out in full cowboy regalia, ready to go out in the field and check on some steers. He looked up when I entered.

“Hey, Talon, what are you doing out here?”

“It is one quarter my ranch. Shouldn’t I know what’s going on from time to time?”

“Sure. But you never come out here. I take care of the beef, Ry takes care of the vineyards, and you take care of the orchard. We don’t bug each other.”

“I didn’t come out here to bug you, Joe. Actually came out ask you favor.”

“Anything for you if I can. What you need?”

“It’s time for me to build my own house here on the land. I’ve got a spot in mind, and I wanted to go over it with you, make sure you didn’t need it for pasture or anything. Then I plan to go into town and file the papers for the permit. I’ll drive into Grand Junction and hire an architect later this week.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea? That will leave Marjorie in the big house all by herself.”

“She’s a big girl. And she’s got her friend with her now.”

“I suppose. One of us is going to have to take over the big house eventually, though, and I figured it would always be you, Tal. I mean, I’ve got my own place already, and Ryan’s comfortable in the guest house. Marjorie will probably eventually meet someone and move off the ranch.”

“Is it a goddamned crime for me to want my own house?”

“No, of course not. Calm yourself down, for God’s sake.”

“I just can’t stay there anymore, Joe.”

“Why? What the fuck is wrong with that house? It’s beautiful. Felicia comes in every day and takes care of everything. You don’t have to do a damn thing.”

“You don’t understand. I have to get away from…”

“From what? Not Marjorie?”

“Of course not Marjorie. She’s my sister. I love her.”

“Then—oh my God.” Jonah raked his fingers through his dark hair that was beginning to gray at the temples. “It’s that friend of hers, isn’t it?”

I looked down at my feet. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I knew there’d come a day. She’s trying to knock down your walls, isn’t she, Tal?”

“No. At least…I don’t think so. I mean, she’s not
trying
to.”

“Getting under your skin, is she?”

I sat down in the chair across from Jonah’s desk. I didn’t say anything. There was nothing left to say. I was an open book to my older brother. I had been since I’d come back.

“Are you ready to get some help, Tal?”

Help. Poor Joe didn’t know this, but no help existed for me. I was a product of so many different hells, and no one could help me. I had to live alone. Nothing else would work for me. “We’ve had this conversation before,” I said. “You couldn’t help me. Dad couldn’t help me. There’s no way some stranger can.”

“There are strangers who have the right training to help someone like you. In fact— Oh, fuck, never mind. If you want to build a house, build a fucking house. Maybe Marj will want the ranch house. Maybe she’ll never marry, or maybe she’ll marry some poor pauper who wants to live big in the main house. Who knows?”

I unrolled the land plats I had brought with me. “I’m looking at this place.” I pointed to the beautiful area I had chosen to build my home on. “It’s right on the lake, and you don’t currently use it for grazing land.”

Joe grabbed the plat and took a look. “I don’t see why you can’t have it. But you know it’s open grazing out here, so the animals could make their way to you.”

“I have no problem with that.” I liked animals. They understood me. They didn’t press. They didn’t judge. They didn’t ask questions I couldn’t answer. That silly mutt Roger had come around about a year ago, begging for food. I’d fed him, and I’d made a friend for life. The little guy doted on me, followed me everywhere, and I loved it. I loved him, as much as I was capable. Animals were easy to love. All Roger asked was a meal every day, a warm bed at my feet, and a scratch behind the ear now and then, and he gave me his loyalty unconditionally.

“It’s pretty far removed from the rest of us.”

“And?”

Jonah shook his head. “And nothing. I guess that’s how you want it, Tal. One more wall you can lock around yourself.”

“When you’ve walked a mile in my shoes, brother, you can judge me.” I stood.

Jonah stood as well. “Talon, I would have gladly walked in your shoes to spare you the pain.”

“You can’t say that. You don’t know…”

“You’re right. I don’t know. I don’t pretend to know everything you’ve been through. But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have done anything to protect you. You’re my younger brother.” He let out a heavy sigh. “It should’ve been me.”