Cravings (25 page)

"Well." Cullen shrugged. "It's a small node. Wouldn't be easy to spot, even
drawing like you were, and I stopped you fast enough. I'd say it's unlikely
anyone could have located you, but we don't have guarantees, do we? You'd
better not do it again. However…" His eyes gleamed. "We do have an idea. At
least, I do."

He stopped there, dragging it out. "Well?" I snapped.

"I think I know how to hide Michael's, ah, signature, when he draws. But I
want to renegotiate our terms."

"You want more money?"

"Money?" He made a disgusted noise. "What use is that? I was going to use
what you paid me, Molly my love, to try to acquire more scraps. I don't have to
settle for scraps now."

"What do you want?" Michael's voice was ominously low.

"As much as I can get, obviously." Suddenly Cullen laughed. "If you could see
your faces! I haven't turned into an evil wizard before your eyes, scheming to
steal your souls and take over the world. I don't want them, for one thing. For
another," he said wryly, "Michael could squash me like a bug if I tried
anything. No, I want to learn. I want Michael's time for, say, a month. I want
to ask questions, learn from him."

"I'm not allowed. No," Michael said to Cullen, holding up a hand. "This isn't
negotiable. I thought at first that your realm had just drifted apart from the
others, but it's more. You're under interdict. I don't know why, or who
established the ban. Those pieces are missing. But I am not allowed to give you
the knowledge you want."

Cullen's face tightened. "A week, just a week, then. I could spend a lifetime
studying my scraps and not learn as much as I can from you in one week. Do you
know what that's like? All right—one day, man!" He was fierce in his need. "Just
give me one day."

"One spell." Michael's face was granite. "One spell, of your choice—within
reason. No transformations."

Cullen spoke flatly. "Not enough."

"We don't have to deal with you," I said mildly. "If the idea is any good,
chances are one of us will think of it, sooner or later. More likely Michael
than me, I'll admit."

Cullen wore an odd little smile. "I doubt this particular notion would occur
to him. Even if it does, he'll need help. Because he isn't much at creating
spells. Are you?" he said directly to Michael. "You've got more facts lodged in
your head than NASA's mainframe, but you don't know much about building from
scratch."

"I wasn't made to create, but I can do it."

"Well enough to trust Molly's life to a homemade spell?"

His eyebrows pulled down. His gaze darted to me, then back to Cullen.
"Explain."

"Not until you agree to my terms."

"Then I suppose we must leave. And then, sooner or later, the Azá will find
me. They will either kill Molly, or not. And I will either kill more of them, or
not—but eventually they will have me, and turn me over to their goddess. Then
she will have access to all that you covet."

Cullen flung up one hand—a fencer's gesture, acknowledging an opponent's
coup. "And civilization as we know it will come to an end? All right, all right.
One spell. You'll give me a little time to think of what I want, since I'm to
get just the one?"

Michael nodded. "And your idea?"

"Is simplicity itself, in principle. Probably not in execution." He threw me
a roguish glance. "It's right up your alley, sweetheart. All you have to do is
make love."

IT wasn't simple, of course. Michael and Cullen spent the rest of the
afternoon discussing the details, arguing, now and then pausing to draw a
glowing symbol in the air. But the premise was fairly basic.

Not that I understood it. Michael and I would change places, as far as the
nodes were concerned. Instead of me drinking from him, he'd draw power through
me. Only I'd still be tapping the magic through him, which is what I didn't
understand. Somehow, though, the nodes would "read" my pull, not his. And I was
mostly human, natural to this realm, so no one would be able to get a fix on me.

"Your energies are already muddled up together, love," Cullen had told me
when I expressed bafflement. "Not that I have a clue how you did that, but
that's what I saw when you went into a liplock. It's why you were able to begin
feeding short of, ah, the usual ritual. We're just going to muddle things a bit
more thoroughly."

There was a catch, of course. Isn't there always? Once we were joined this
way, I would have to feed through Michael. And only him.

It was a long afternoon. The sun was low by the time they agreed on the
basics and finished their preparations. Michael took me aside. "I'm not sure I
should do this," he said, smoothing my hair back. I couldn't read his
expression, but his body was tense. "I know you agreed, but you don't—you
can't—understand exactly what you're agreeing to."

I smiled tenderly. "You didn't know what you were getting into last night,
did you?" Then laughed at my accidental pun. "Well, maybe you knew, technically.
Me. I'll trust your experience in sorcery, just as you trusted mine last night."

A smile eased, but didn't erase, the tension around his eyes. "Then we are
ready."

"Good," Cullen said from behind me. "I'll start walking, then, and give the
two of you a little privacy. I hope you won't linger in the afterglow too long,
though. I'm eager."

They'd agreed that Michael would give Cullen his spell—one involving
illusion—after our ritual was completed, when Michael could safely draw from the
node. "You are considerate," Michael said, turning to face him. "But that won't
be necessary."

"Won't be…" Cullen's face worked. The blood drained from it. "Damn you!" he
whispered—and his eyes rolled back.

Michael caught him before he hit the floor, and lowered him carefully. "I am
sorry," he said to the unconscious man.

My heart was hammering in my throat. "What did you do to him?"

"He will sleep for many hours. When he wakes, he'll remember very little…
that you brought a fellow sorcerer to visit him. That he and I exchanged spells,
discussed some things, then you and I left. It won't be perfect," he said,
straightening Cullen's legs so he could rest comfortably. "I can't build a
memory as vivid as the real thing. But I've also planted an aversion in him. He
won't want to examine his memories of this day."

"But why?"

"The spell he requested was the smallest part of what he learned today."
Michael shook his head, looking with rueful admiration at the man he'd felled.
"We had to collaborate, and in the process he learned more than anyone in your
world has known in several hundred years. Which he was counting on, of course.
Did you not think he gave in too easily?"

I sighed. I'd been too relieved to be suspicious.

"I will give him what we agreed upon," Michael said, "but must take away the
rest." He settled, cross-legged, beside Cullen's body, and touched his forehead.

I didn't interfere. Should I have? I've never been sure.

It didn't take long. After a few moments Michael shook himself like a dog
come in from the rain, and stood. "It's done." Regret rang through his voice
like a low, sad bell. "I left him a gift."

"What kind?"

"Shields. No one will be able to do to him again what I have done this day."

I sighed. "He wants to learn so much."

"And I understand his need, better than he knows. But he is too hungry."
Michael looked at me. "I've dealt with seekers like him for a very long time.
Their hunger can't be sated, like yours can. Better if he forgets. It would be
unkind to let him remember only a little, knowing that so much more was
somewhere in his world."

"Not kind, no," I said quietly. "And maybe not safe for us, either. Michael?"

"Yes?"

"Just how old are you?"

His eyes crinkled as amusement banished the shadows. "You have been
determined to see me as very young, haven't you? Though you claimed not to be
fooled by my body. My delicious body?" He quirked an eyebrow at me.

I laughed and held out my hand. "Male vanity crosses all realms. You didn't
answer my question."

"Soon," he said, taking my hand, "you will know that, and more. But we had
best hurry. Cullen was counting on my unwillingness to use magic and draw the
goddess's attention."

I swallowed. "She has to work through human agents, and we're pretty remote.
Even if she spotted you, it will take them awhile to get here."

"Yes. But I am unsure how long we will be… occupied."

I tried for a cocky smile. "Doesn't usually take
that
long."

"This will not be as usual, Molly."

 

THE node lay just east of the shack, its perimeter less than ten feet from
the wall Cullen had gone sailing through. In another land it would have been
called a fairy circle. The San Diego hills—I refuse to call them mountains, they
lack the stature for that—are arid, though, so the grass was scruffy, bleached,
and brownish. But though sparse, it grew in the distinctive spiral pattern
common to nodes.

The two men had set wards earlier, using four black pillar candles, one at
each of the cardinal points. Michael used a gesture rather than an athame to
open the circle so we could enter. A quilt awaited us.

We were to enter sky-clad—nude, in other words. This was both ritually
necessary and convenient, considering why we were there. I stripped, stepped
into the circle, and knelt on the quilt.

Michael left his clothes in a neat pile and joined me. With another gesture,
he set flames on the candles' wicks. He knelt in front of me, taking my hands.
"You're nervous. You know what to do?"

I nodded. They'd briefed me on my part—which was, basically, to control my
appetite, not letting myself dine until Michael told me to. And to set the
sexual pace. Most of the time, simultaneous orgasm is overrated. This once,
though, it was essential. "One of these days we'll have to try this in a bed," I
said, trying to lighten the mood. Mine, mostly.

"I count on that. Molly? Time is short."

I nodded again, leaned forward, and brushed my lips across Michael's—and
sprang to my feet. "I'm sorry." I squeezed my eyes shut. "I can't do this. I'm
sorry."

Silence. Except for the wind and a distant locust, I heard nothing at all. I
opened my eyes. Michael just sat there, his face nearly as frozen as the state
cop's had been.

"It's wrong," I said, miserable. "You were worried I didn't know what I was
letting myself in for. Well, I knew. I was thrilled, if you want the truth. You
couldn't leave me once it was done, could you?" Everyone left—over and over,
they grew old and died… "I wanted to keep you. Because you won't die." The wind
lifted my hair, pushing it in my face. I shoved it back.

He tilted his head back so he could look at me. His voice was dead level.
"And is that the only reason you want to keep me? Because I won't age and die on
you?"

"Well, I love you, of course. But—"

"Holy fuck."

I blinked at him.

"You said the word was not offensive when one is about to do it." He rose to
his feet and gripped my shoulders. "Didn't you wonder? Of all the nodes in the
world, didn't you wonder how I happened to land on yours?"

"I—I supposed it was the closest, or something like that."

"I've been watching you. What you call the Great Storm was the physical
expression of a realms-wide disturbance. It opened a small… call it a viewing
spot. I saw you save Erin's great-great-grandmother. I bent several rules to
watch you raising her. Then you left Galveston, for years and years. I was so
happy when you came back." His fingers tightened. "So happy."

"Watching me?" I couldn't take it in. "You've been watching me since 1900?"

"Only when you were in Galveston. I couldn't follow when you left. You were
so beautiful. I watched, and I fell in love."

My mouth was hanging open like a fish's. I closed it, then said, stupidly,
"But I've been fifty years old all that time."

"Molly." His smile was tender. "You shine. I wish you could see your own
colors."

Something tight and small inside me was unfurling. "You love me. It isn't
just the sex. You loved me before that."

He nodded, solemn again. "I didn't think you could love me. Not this fast,
maybe not at all. But I could feed you, I knew that. Only, of course, I forgot.
Forgot everything—you, me, why I'd fled." He shook his head. "I really am bad at
creating spells. In my defense, I can only say that I was in a hurry. They'd
broken into my place."

"They?"

"They shouldn't have been able to. Even Old Ones have limits. But two of them
cooperated with—with—it's gone." The familiar frustration roughened his voice.
"Something has changed in the realms, but I don't know what. Not anymore."

"Never mind," I said, and the unfurling reached my face, bringing a smile.
"This isn't the time for talk, is it?" I put my arms around his neck. "Make love
with me, Michael."

In the end it was simple, after all.

We sank to the quilt together, kissing and touching as if we had all the time
in the world. This time I could be patient, thrill myself with his body, because
the other hunger wasn't so great. This time, I could share a little of what I'd
learned in the last three hundred years.

I explored him. His toes. The backs of his knees. His scrotum—oh, he was
sensitive there, no surprise, but his response nearly tipped me over. I sat back
on my heels, breathing heavily. "Give me a moment."

"No," he said, and pulled me over him like a blanket.

"I think you've forgotten who's in charge," I said as he licked my nipple. He
smiled and blew on it. I shivered.

Passion was no less strong, but it built more slowly. Maybe because he and I
both had to keep track of other things—he was watching the energies I couldn't
see, manipulating them in ways I couldn't guess. But I could feel them, oh, yes,
feel the power rising, swirling between us, yet I had to keep us paced to each
other.

Finally I rose over him, guided myself down and sighed with pleasure at the
fullness. I ran my fingernails over his chest. "I am
very
happy with
the body you chose," I said, leaning forward and all but purring. "If you see
your friend again, give him my compliments."

Michael laughed. He gripped my hips and thrust up. And undid all my care. The
fall towards climax hit so fast I couldn't stop it. "Michael!" He thrust again
and the swirls seemed to reach for me. "Wait!"

"No, Molly, it's now. Now! Reach for me, go deep—"

I reached. Gripped him tight with my inner muscles even as I bore down,
drank-deep—convulsed. And screamed.

It wasn't pain, though something ripped me open. It wasn't pleasure, though I
spun on the wheel of a climax, caught in a vortex that was intensely physical,
and not physical at all. It wasn't dark or light, warm or cold, or anything I
have names for.

And then, for a timeless period, it wasn't me anymore.

Not just me.

Then I was myself again, the only one in my body. Which ached all over, and
not just in the usual places. Michael was a warm, lumpy mattress beneath me. His
breath was warm and moist against my cheek.

It was dark. The candles had burned down. One was flickering, nearly out.
"Well, sailor," I whispered, "you do know how to show a girl a good time."

"Ahh," he said. "I don't think I have the breath to laugh." He paused. "I
can't feel my left hand."

I realized I was lying on it. I moved. "It's asleep. Be prepared for some
fierce pins and needles."

"Pins and… ow!" He held it up, glaring at it. "Bizarre."

"Returning circulation." I managed to roll off him. "Whew." I turned my head
to smile at him. "About eight hundred, if I've figured it right."

His brow creased. "What?"

"You. You're something over eight hundred years old. Though you weren't
entirely
there
for the first three or four centuries, were you?"

I hadn't experienced all of Michael, nor had he, I think, blended with all of
me. Partly because, as he'd said, he was still in pieces, with large gaps in his
memories. Partly because some of what he'd lived I had no context for, so it
hadn't stuck.

I had enough. "Poor Cullen. If he'd known he was entertaining the—"

"Shh." He laid a hand over my lips. "Not even in teasing, Molly. Not even
here. It isn't safe."

I nodded, understanding. Understanding so much more than I'd expected to. My
lover, my mystery man really was a myth of sorts.

Michael was the missing Codex Arcanum. The Book of All Magic.

His creator… I had only shadowy images of the one who'd conceived him An
adept? One of the Old Ones? I didn't know, nor did I understand why he'd done
it. Perhaps the same desire that led humans to build libraries, the need to keep
knowledge from being scattered or destroyed. For centuries, whatever the
sorcerers and magicians of many realms had written in their spell books—which
weren't always books, nor was the recording always writing—had also been
"written" into Michael.

He'd been created here, though. Here on Earth, that is. Not on this
continent, but somewhere in my world. Shortly after being made, he'd been sent
to another realm, a place where magic ran wild.