Crazy Baby (14 page)

We’ve already been through the gauntlet of relationship issues, and I really believed we’d come out on the better end of everything. Our love had been put through the fire and came out stronger—until someone else’s lie destroyed it again. Part of me wants to call him, beg him to listen to me again, and explain what really happened. I want to tell him what I’ve been thinking about doing and why.

Another part of me wants to call him and tell him to go straight to hell without passing go and collecting a dime first. I want to rail at him for doing this to me again, for not being a man and standing behind me, and for not believing me, regardless of what the circumstances look like. If he loved me, if he believed in my love, he would’ve given me the benefit of the doubt.

Again, I’m left like the fool, pining after him when he clearly doesn’t even want me.

Picking up my phone, I decide on a different course of action.

“Hello?” Brandon answers.

“Brandon, it’s Andi,” I say with a watery voice.

“Andi, what’s wrong? What’s happened?” he asks, concern lacing his voice.

I give him the rundown of my conversation with Luke. “How can he do this to me again, Brandon?”

“I’m sorry, Andi. I know this is tough, but you also know how Luke is. He makes rash decisions and later regrets them. Sometimes it just takes a while to get it through that thick head of his that he’s wrong. I’ll talk to him if you want me to.”

Do I? Do I want to pursue this again? I’m so torn. I’m so hurt. I’m so mad. There are too many overwhelming feelings that swing wildly from one end of the spectrum to the other.

“No, Brandon, don’t bother. I think I just needed to talk it through with someone who understands where we’ve been. As much as it kills me, I just don’t have it in me to go through this again. I need to learn to say when enough is enough.”

We talk for a few more minutes about how everything came down. Brandon loves Luke, but I can tell he’s mad at him over this. He also has some doubts about what’s really going on between Travis and me, which I understand. I don’t expect him to choose sides or anything.

“Brandon, thank you for everything. You’re a wonderful brother, and I love you for being there for Luke and for me. Take care of yourself,” I say before we hang up. Losing Luke’s family is almost as hard as losing Luke. They’ve all become so intertwined in my life that it’s like losing my own family all over again.

Sound Bar and Fireflies have interviews at the radio station today, and I had originally planned on tagging along. I’ve changed my mind now, though. It’ll take every ounce of energy I have just to perform tonight. I don’t want to pretend I’m okay any longer than I absolutely have to.

I send a text to Travis and Katelyn to tell them to go on without me. Within minutes, there’s a knock at my bedroom door. When I open it, Travis immediately knows something is terribly wrong and wraps his arms around me in a warm bear hug. It’s really a good thing that I haven’t put my makeup on yet because I can’t stop the tears that start immediately.

Travis walks me backward until we reach the bed, and he gently pushes me until I sit down. He sits beside me and scoots us both up against the headboard. Then he pulls me back into his arms and just holds me while reassuringly rubbing my back. When I finally have no more tears left to cry, I feel completely drained of everything.

Drained of feelings.

Drained of caring.

Drained of trying.

“Thank you, Travis. You didn’t have to stay here with me, but I appreciate it more than I can tell you,” I finally say.

“I’d never leave you, Andi,” he whispers.

“I’m sure you have other things you need to do,” I say as I start to move away from him.

His arms tighten around me and hold me securely in place. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be. Everything and everyone else can wait. You come first, Andi.”

“You’re too good to me, Travis.”

“Tell me what happened,” he urges.

Somehow, I get the whole story out as he just listens and takes it all in. The only time I feel him tense is when I tell him about the other pictures that Luke didn’t believe me about from my involuntary mental hospital stay. “He didn’t give you a chance to explain then?” he asks, his voice strained with anger.

“No. That’s why I couldn’t believe he did it again last night. Then I saw the pictures of him and Syndi together over the last several weeks, including Valentine’s Day.”

“Wait. You weren’t with him Valentine’s Day?” Travis asks.

“No. I was at home in Atlanta and he was in Vegas with Syndi. He told me I couldn’t come out there because he had an interview and then Joe and Mack were sending him somewhere secret. I should’ve known better than that, but I just never thought he’d lie to me like that,” I admit. “I’m an idiot.”

“You trusted him. That doesn’t make you an idiot. That makes
him
a fucking idiot for betraying you and giving you up,” Travis clarifies.

“Maybe.”

“There’s no maybe to it. He’s crazy, baby. He’s let you go twice now. He shouldn’t get a third strike to do this to you again,” Travis declares heatedly.

“I told him I’m mailing his ring back to him,” I say. “I guess I should send this with it.” Holding up the heart pendant that was part of the Christmas gift I gave him, the squeezing in my chest becomes like a vise. This is really happening.

I can’t believe it’s really over.

Travis’s phone alerts him of another text. “That’s the seventeenth text you’ve received since you walked in here. Someone obviously needs you, Travis.”

“One second,” he says as he fishes his phone out of his pocket. Holding his phone so that I can clearly see it, he turns it off and puts it on the nightstand beside the bed. “There. No more interruptions.”

Shaking my head, I bury my face in his chest as I chuckle. “You’re the crazy one around here. You have work to do, fans to see, and people to talk to. My problems will still be here after the show tonight. Go take care of your business, and I’ll take care of mine.”

Sighing heavily, he says, “I don’t like leaving you in this depressed state.”

“The problem with that is this depression won’t pass in just a few hours. It’ll take time, and we both still have a job to do in the meantime. I’ll put on a brave face for the show tonight and when I have to go out in public. Don’t even give me a second thought.”

As he stands, he mutters something under his breath that shocks me to my core.

I could’ve sworn he just said, “I haven’t gotten past the first thought yet.”

LUKE

“Luke?” Syndi approaches me cautiously in the hotel restaurant. “I have some disturbing news to tell you.”

“Let’s have it,” I say, knowing that she’s been hitting the promotion circuits heavily.

“You asked me to tell you if the hype between Travis and Andi turned to reality. My sources tell me it has. I’m really sorry to be the one to show you this,” she says, handing me a manila envelope.

“What’s this?” I ask, my anger immediately surfacing. I already have an idea of what it is.

When I slide the pictures out of the envelope, it’s all I can do not to rip them into a million pieces. Then fly across the country and also rip Travis Malone into a million pieces. Andi and Travis are obviously enjoying each other’s company lately. Not only are they singing duets about love and what they want to do to each other, but they’re acting it out on the dance floor with their dirty dancing moves. Andi explained all they did was line dance, but the pictures I’m looking at don’t look like line dancing at all.

This picture is of Travis and Andi on the dance floor together and very much into their dry humping and grinding. They’re definitely putting on a good show for the others. As I flip through the pictures, each one gets worse and worse. His hands are all over her body, her head is thrown back in pleasure, and his mouth is on her neck.

Another picture shows them sitting on a merry-go-round on a kid’s playground. Andi looks like the initiator in this one since she’s leaned over toward him, cupping his face, and kissing him. Still more pictures follow that one, showing them boarding the tour bus together when she told me she has her own bus with another woman.

“I’m really sorry, Luke. It started out as a publicity stunt to pull more music lovers in. Apparently, the more time they spend together, the closer they get. My friend told me they’ve realized they’ve fallen for each other.

“Andi has been trying to figure out how to tell you, but she doesn’t know how to break it to you. She doesn’t know these pictures were sent to us. My friend said she’s really having a hard time with knowing how much she’ll hurt you. She also said that Andi has been talking about doing her own tour and maybe even going on a
world
tour with Sound Bar,” Syndi says apologetically.

“Don’t take up for her. Don’t even try to justify what she’s doing. I’d never do that to her, and I never thought she’d do that to me. I knew Travis had a thing for her, but she’s never acted like anything more than a fan would normally act about him.

“This is completely different. This is cold, calculated, and disrespectful to what we had. We’re
supposed
to be engaged. Hell, we were supposed to be married right now, but she delayed it until this summer. I even wanted to get married before we left Atlanta, but she balked at it. Now don’t I look like the fool?

“Well, I’ll gladly fucking help her out of her predicament. These pictures tell me everything I need to know. She’s moved on with him, she has more in common with him, and she’s made her choice clear to me. If she’s staying out on tour all the time, it won’t work anyway. I’m not one to carry her guitar for her and wait backstage while she makes fuck-me eyes at Travis.”

I rise quickly and my chair crashes to the ground, but I keep moving. Once I’m finally inside my hotel room, I grab my phone and pace back and forth for several minutes before I call Andi. I’ve rehearsed what I’m going to say to her over and over, but I can barely get the words out. The pain is too much to bear when all I want is to hold her, love her, and tell her how much she means to me.

The distance between us has been growing and we’ve both felt it. I just didn’t know that it was because of Travis. One fucking thing is for sure—he better not ever step into my line of sight. I won’t be able to stop myself from beating the brakes off of him. Whatever consequences I’d have to face afterward would completely be worth it, too.

After I’ve made the call to Andi, which didn’t go well at all, I’m sitting alone in my room replaying every word she said. She reminded me of how I treated her another time there were pictures that turned out to have a different story than what I saw in them. Am I wrong again this time?

She was different last time, though. She cried, begged, and pleaded with me to listen to her, to believe her. This time, she was much stronger but also just as adamant that she hadn’t done anything wrong. On one hand, it’s hard as hell to believe her when I have pictures as proof against her. On the other hand, it’s hard as hell to
not
believe her when I have proof in the history with someone I love more than anyone in the world.

Is she telling the truth? Are these pictures not what I think they are?

A knock on my door pulls me out of my thoughts. Opening the door, I find Syndi waiting on the other side. “Luke, I was worried about you. I know how upsetting this is for you and thought maybe you could use a friend right now. Do you mind if I come in for a little while?”

Taking a step back to open the door wider for her to enter, I’m instantly grateful to have her company. Losing Andi is bad enough, but I don’t even have Brandon or Shane here to talk through everything with. Either of them would tell me if I’m royally fucking up or if I’m making the right decision.

It’s usually that I’m fucking up, but it’d be nice to know what others would do in the same circumstances. They’re both my brothers and I trust their judgment. They both know Andi and me so well—better than anyone else does. They’d tell me exactly what I should focus on when the love of my life has been on tour with the world’s most desired man. He has obviously wanted her for quite a while and has worked his way into her heart.

“Come on in,” I say. “You didn’t have to come check on me. I’ll be okay.”

I’m a fucking liar. I’m dying inside, and it’s taking every ounce of willpower not to call and beg her back. My heart tells me to call her, tell her I’ll follow her around the world if that’s what she really wants to do. I’d walk away from boxing, my family, Mack, Joe, Shane—everything—for her. If that’s what would make things right between us, that’s what I’d do.

My mind says to fuck it all. She’s made her choice, and I have the pictures to prove it. She’s been going behind my back, cheating on me while talking to me most every day, and openly mocking me with her lies. She obviously wants him, and I won’t chase after her like a little lost puppy.

“Luke, it can’t be easy on you. Have you talked to her?” Syndi asks.

“Yeah, I talked to her. She denied it, but I told her I have the pictures as proof. It’s over,” I say, the finality of it all hitting me in the chest like a sledgehammer.

“I’m really very sorry.”

“Yeah, so am I,” I reply. “Have a seat.”

We sit on the couch in the living area, and I try to make small talk.

“Luke, talk to me. I’m your friend, remember? This is affecting you more than you’re saying. It’ll just keep bothering you until you get it all out.”

“There was another time that pictures of her surfaced. She tried to warn me ahead of time, but when I saw them, my mind went to the worst-case scenario. She accused me of doing that this time. In fact, she was adamant about that. What if she’s telling the truth? What if I just threw away the best thing I’ve ever had over a misunderstanding?”

“That explains why you’re not fully convinced about the pictures. My friend is pretty close to the entourage with them. She’s been told that Travis and Andi spend a lot of time together—alone. It doesn’t seem that there’s a misunderstanding this time, Luke,” Syndi replies.

“Yeah, that’s what’s bothering me the most,” I admit. “I prefer the misunderstanding.”

“How about I keep you busy and keep your mind off of her? We have plenty of work coming up that we need to prepare for—magazine interviews, and maybe look at booking some others,” Syndi offers.

“My social calendar seems to have opened up,” I quip. “I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t make Valentine’s plans with her after all. I’d forever associate that day with everything that’s happened in the last few hours.”

“We’ll just have to find something else to take your mind off of it,” she suggests.

“Like maybe going to that frou-frou spa you talked about?”

Syndi bursts out laughing. “Frou-frou spa? No, honey, there’s nothing frou-frou about that place. But, it’s really too bad those plans fell through and they couldn’t get a spot for two guys at such late notice. There was only one couple’s spot left open. You and I should have taken it.”

“Just as well. I don’t need a spa. I need a punching bag, a big dummy to pummel, and a kick-ass workout to take my frustrations out on anyway.”

“There are other ways to constructively work through frustrations, Luke.”

“No other way feels as good as repeatedly punching the shit out of something.”

“Then you haven’t found the best method yet,” she says with a sly smile.

A saying my best friend from high school used frequently pops into my head.
Slide into a new one to get over the last one.

Bad idea, Luke. Bad idea.

Syndi and I talk a little while longer, she flirts a little more and makes her interest known, but I casually ignore it. I just split with my fiancée, the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. Wanted. The woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

Forgetting Andi by having sex with Syndi won’t work. Andi’s not the type of girl any man just gets over, no matter how many stand-ins he finds. When Syndi finally leaves my room and I’m alone, I decide to go for a run to work off some of these negative feelings. With my hand on the doorknob, just as I’m about to walk out the door, my cell phone starts ringing.

I consider letting it roll to voice mail but just thinking it could be Andi calling me back has me running to the phone. As I snatch it up off the end table, I see Brandon’s name flash across the screen. It’s late here in Vegas, so I know it’s really late in Atlanta.

“Hey bro, what’s up?” I say as a greeting.

“Oh, not much. You know, just got the late-night phone call from a very upset little lady. Thought I’d call my brother and see what the hell is going on,” Brandon says dryly.

Sighing, I realize I’m not going to make it out for that run anytime soon. “She called you?”

“Yes, she called me,” Brandon says.

“Did she put you up to calling me?”

Brandon laughs. “Luke, have you ever met Andi? She doesn’t need me to call you in her place. In fact, she specifically said she didn’t want me to talk to you for her. You’re my brother, and I know you have to be as upset as she is right now. So I’m calling to check on you.”

Taking a seat on the couch, I lean back and tell Brandon everything that has happened. Syndi bringing the pictures by, seeing them with my own eyes, and all the inside information her source is passing on to us.

“Do you think Syndi is playing you, Luke? That still just doesn’t sound like the Andi we know,” Brandon says, sadness lacing his tone.

“I thought about that, bro. I really did. But when I looked through one picture after another of Andi and Travis, I knew I was grasping at straws by blaming Syndi. One lingering doubt I still can’t shake is why Andi tried to convince me that I wasn’t seeing what I thought I was seeing if she’s been trying to find a way to break it off with me.

“Why would she do that? She’s not the vindictive type. She wouldn’t want to hurt me or embarrass me.”

“Why didn’t you ask her that, Luke?” Brandon asks pointedly.

I honestly have no answer to that question. Not one that would do it any justice anyway. My blind rage, broken heart, and wounded pride kept me from hearing her out or believing one word she said. Like a vicious circle, my mind keeps bringing me back to the proof in hand. The hype that has been building between them, the way Travis looks at her when he thinks no one sees, and the common goals they have all feed into one conclusion.

She simply didn’t want to part on these terms.

Brandon and I talk for another hour or so, and he lends his brotherly wisdom before we hang up.

“Don’t be a dickhead, Luke. You’re not fooling me at all. You love her, and your heart knows something is off. Figure it out. You know her, man.”

Staring at my phone, I consider calling Andi back to talk through this. Then her final words to me echo through my mind and I decide against it.
“I’ll mail your ring to you.”

One day after another comes and goes and the thoughts of Andi have stayed with me. I don’t know why I can’t just fucking forget her, but there it is. I can’t do it. Her words haunt me day and night, asking me to trust her and not what I see.

I’m walking down the Strip in Vegas, and somehow I’ve tuned out everything and everyone else. Lost in my own world, I don’t feel Syndi move up beside me until she takes my hand in hers. Jerking my head to the side, I see her bright smile and can’t help but smile back at her.

“Scared you, didn’t I?” she jokes.

“I didn’t hear you come up beside me,” I admit. “How’d you sneak up on me?”

“It’s not hardly sneaking when I call your name ten times and you keep walking, ignoring me,” she laughs.