Crazy Little Thing (22 page)

Penny snorted with laughter. “No, you didn’t!”

“Oh, yes I did. I was all over him. And it gets even worse.” I could hardly tell her the rest. But I had to. I couldn’t keep this burden to myself. “Penny, I...I...finished.”

“Finished?” She could hardly talk through all her snorting and chuckling. “What does that mean, finished?”

“It means I...well, you know!” I had to drop my voice to a whisper. “I had an orgasm. But all he did was touch me with his hand for, like, two minutes!” I clutched the phone tighter, letting Penny’s spasm of hysterical laughter run its course.

“So, wait,” she sputtered. “Did you have sex with him?”

“No! We did
not
have sex! All we did was kiss and a little bump and grind, you know. And some groping. Actually there was quite a lot of groping.” It was all a blur in my memory, driven by testosterone and desperation. His and mine, respectively.

“But it all happened so fast. I never saw it coming.”

My poor choice of words sent Penny into another fit of hysteria. “Are you kidding me?”

“Come on, Penny! I’m embarrassed enough already. You’re supposed to help me.”

“Help you what? Not be a dope? Why is this even a problem?”

“Because we were in the laundry room, for God’s sake! That’s so not me. It was like something Richard would have done.”

Penny paused. “Oh, now I get it. But you listen to me, Sadie Turner, there is nothing wrong with two consenting adults enjoying each other wherever and however they want, as long as they’re not married to somebody else. What Richard did was adultery. What you did is good old-fashioned fun.”

“Then why do I feel like such an idiot?”

“Because you are an idiot. Not for fooling around with Des, but because you’re worried about it. Can’t you just relax? You get more like Mom every single day.”

“I’m nothing like Mom!”

“Of course you are. You’re so worried about what everybody else thinks you can’t decide what you want for yourself. Get over that. And tell me, what happened next?”

I didn’t have the energy to take issue with her insult. We could postpone arguing about how I was nothing like our mother another time. “Next?”

“Yeah, what happened after you got your freak on?”

I winced. “God, Penny. I never should have told you.”

She laughed again. “You’re such a prude. OK, fine. What happened after your very unladylike response to his digital stimulation?”

I held the phone close to my mouth. “I ran.”

“You...you ran? What do you mean you ran?”

“I mean I was so embarrassed after I...well, you know, that I pushed him away from me and ran out of the house. Then I ran all the way back here and called you.”

“Oh. My. God. Sadie! You are an idiot! So what did he do?”

“I don’t know!” I cried. “I mean, he wasn’t in any condition to run after me, you know. He had a...well, you know! Guys can’t run with one of those things, can they?”

Penny’s cell phone clattered onto something rock solid as she dropped it, and the sound of her shrieking laughter will be forever imprisoned in the recesses of my mind.

When she finally spoke again, her message was simple.

“Go back there. Tell him you have some medical disorder or something, like orgasmaphobia. And promise him it won’t happen again.”

“He’s a doctor, Penny. He’ll know orgasmaphobia isn’t a real disease.”

“Fine, then tell him the truth. You find him wildly attractive, but you’re clueless when it comes to men and too scared to get into a relationship.”

“That’s supposed to endear me to him?” I sat up on the bed.

“You’re already endeared to him. At least you were, until you left him high and dry in his own laundry room. Pun intended,” she added.

“Please don’t start laughing again.” I put my head in my hand.

“Sorry, but you need to go over there right now. The longer you wait, the harder it will get. Ha! No pun intended that time. I am on a roll!” I heard her fingers snapping.

I’d had about as much of her help as I could take. “All right, fine. I’m going. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

Des opened the door, his welcome much less enthusiastic than it had been earlier in the evening. He didn’t look surprised to see me. Or glad, either.

“Hey,” he said.

I fidgeted with the fabric of my sundress. “Hi. May I come in for a minute?”

“Sure.” His tone was dry. He stepped aside, shoving the door open wide. “I’ll leave this open in case you decide to bolt out of here again.”

Ah, so that’s how this was going to go, huh?

I felt disgraced, like Fatso being scolded for pulling a sandwich off the counter. I gingerly shut the door behind me. Then I stood there, my mind brilliantly, blindingly blank while Des glowered at me expectantly.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

He scowled. “Sorry? What the hell, Sadie?”

“I didn’t mean to run out like that.”

“OK.” It seemed he found my apology lacking. “But I’m not quite sure what happened. I mean, one minute, everything’s going great, really great, then all of sudden you shove me aside and take off?” He crossed his arms.

I felt red blotches of heat covering my throat and face. “Have you ever heard of orgasmaphobia?”

He made a grunting noise and scowled.

I sighed. “I got flustered, OK?”

“Flustered?”

“Yes.” I stared at my fingernails to avoid his eyes.

He tipped his head. “Flustered? What does that mean?”

“It means upset or agitated.”

His arms dropped back to his sides, as if he wasn’t sure what to do with them. His sigh was loud. “I know what the
word
means, Sadie. But I don’t know what
you
mean. Why were
you
flustered?”

I bit my lip.

He clenched his fists. Frustration rippled on every contour of his face. “Look, I’m not trying to be a jerk. I just don’t understand what I did to upset you this time.”

Surprise skipped through me. Is that what he thought? That it was his fault? “You didn’t do anything.”

“Then why did you leave?” His voice crackled with annoyance.

“Because I got scared!” I blurted out.

And there it was. That pesky truth I was trying so hard to avoid. My attraction to him threatened to overwhelm. I couldn’t give any man so much power over me again. Not after what happened with Richard.

Des rubbed his chin and exhaled slowly. “Sadie, I’m not some big, bad wolf.”

“I know.” Somewhere deep within my grossly underused intellect, I did know that. “Only I’m not usually so...spontaneous. And...reactive.”

I saw his lips twitch.

“It caught me off guard, I guess,” I murmured.

He walked to the sofa and sat down, running both hands through his hair. After a long pause he asked, “How long have you been divorced?”

“About a year.” Thirteen months, twenty-three days.

He regarded me another moment, then patted the seat next to him. “It gets easier.”

I sat down next to him, amazed again at his patience. Apparently while I was reading
The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Dating
, he’d read
The Guide to Dating a Complete Idiot
. “I hope you’re right. I do like you, you know. But you sort of discombobulate me.”

His face relaxed slightly. “Likewise. So what do we do about it?”

This was my chance for a graceful exit. I could tell him, “Thank you very much but I’m not ready for you.” Or I could stay and see what happened next.

“Maybe we could take it a little slower? Like, not so physical, maybe? Could we try that?” I asked.

“OK.” He nodded, leaning back against the couch.

“Really?” I was pleasantly surprised. Richard would have...oh, who cares what Richard would have done?

Des gave me the first genuine smile of this visit. “Of course we can take it slow, Sadie. I don’t know many people in Bell Harbor, OK? I just want some company. With or without benefits.”

Company? Yes, I could do that. And I guess I could decide about benefits later. Or not. It seemed he was willing to leave it up to me.

“OK,” I said.

“OK.” He nodded.

We sat there, basking briefly in the ironic glow of agreeing to
not
have sex. When it quickly grew awkward, Des rubbed his hands together. “So, you want to watch a movie?”

Is that what other couples not having sex did? I imagined it was. “Sure.”

We settled down on a cushy sofa with drinks and snacks and some boy-type movie with lots of blazing guns and gratuitous violence. I wasn’t interested in the story, but I was happy snuggling up to Des. He reclined on the chaise side of the big L-shaped sofa with his legs stretched out in front of him. I curled up on the other side, leaning against him. Eventually I got the nerve to rest my head on his shoulder and he put his arm around me. It had been quite a day. I was exhausted.

Suddenly my own snort woke me up. Disoriented, it took a second before I realized we’d both fallen asleep. The movie was over. Des’s arm was flung up over his head, his face turned toward the crook of his elbow. My arm draped around his waist and my head rested firmly on his belly, nearly in his lap. I raised myself up a little, noticing a dark, circular stain on his T-shirt from (oh God!) a puddle of my own drool! I had fallen asleep and drooled on his stomach. Darn it! I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, wondering how Miss Manners would handle this.

I looked up at Des’s face, relaxed in sleep, his lips almost pouty. He sniffed a little, sighing in some dream in which I hoped to be the Star Attraction. I took this chance to stare at him. He was gorgeous. And I knew that if he saw the drool spot on his shirt, he’d laugh and make a joke. Because that’s the kind of guy he was. No matter what silly thing I did, he rolled with it.

My heart swelled at the lovely realization. Maybe his charm and appeal weren’t simply the work of my lonely imagination. Maybe he wasn’t another asshole masquerading as a nice guy. Maybe he actually was a nice guy. They did exist! And luck had brought me one. (What was next? Unicorns?)

Then I had another lovely revelation, even more enticing than the first. Even if this was destined to be a brief fling, even if I went back to Glenville at the end of the summer and Des took his next assignment in Outer Mongolia, I still wanted this. I wanted him. We had right here, right now, and that was good enough. Dody kept telling me life was too short to not have any fun. My kids were coming home in T-minus ninety-six hours, so if I was going to make the absolute most of these next couple of days, I’d better get started.

I leaned over and lightly kissed his mouth, startling him awake.

He blinked, trying to focus. “Sadie?”

“I’ve changed my mind,” I whispered, hoping to sound seductive.

“What?” He was still sleepy.

I kissed him again. “I’m not scared. Let’s add benefits.” I tugged at the hem of his shirt, inching it up his belly and making my intentions clear (and cleverly hiding the drool spot).

He caught my meaning, putting his hand over my wrist.

“We don’t have to, Sadie. It’s not a deal breaker.”

“Don’t you want to?”

“Hell, yes.” His voice rasped.

My eyes traveled slowly down his body and back up again. “Me too. I’m sure of it.”

He stared at me, his eyes darkening, then he sighed as if he’d been holding his breath for a very long time. His hand slid up my arm to cup behind my neck. He tugged me closer, and although I didn’t need the extra encouragement, I welcomed it. I kissed him hard, and he chuckled deep in his throat. I smiled against his lips and ran my hand over his stomach, feeling his muscles quiver and bunch. The heat of his skin nearly melted my fingers, so smooth and hot. Farther up under his shirt I explored and caressed, kissing him until he made a noise of delighted frustration and leaned up from the sofa to gather me tightly in his arms.

Urgency replaced reason as I tugged his shirt over his head, and he pushed aside the straps of my sundress. I had only a moment to be thankful I’d worn the laciest of my bras before his thumb grazed along the clasp and it was undone, sailing across the room. I laughed, nervous again and feeling shy, until he tipped my face up to his.

“You’re beautiful, Sadie,” he whispered.

And in that moment, I believed him.

CHAPTER 16