Crazy Rich Asians (14 page)

“Don’t be funny with me! Her family comes from some
ulu ulu
^*
village in China that nobody has ever heard of. The investigator thinks that they
were most likely working class. In other words, they are PEASANTS!”

“I think if you go back far enough, darling,
all
our families were peasants. And don’t you know that in ancient China, the peasant
class was actually revered? They were the backbone of the economy, and—”

“Stop talking nonsense,
lah
! You haven’t heard the worst yet—this girl came to America as a baby with her mother.
But where’s the father? There’s no record of the father, so they must have divorced.
Can you believe it?
Alamak
, a child from some divorced
no-name ulu
family! I’m going to
tiao lau
!”
^†

“What’s wrong with that? There are plenty of people these days who come from broken
homes and go on to have happy marriages. Just look at the divorce rate here in Australia.”
Philip was trying to reason with his wife.

Eleanor sighed deeply. “These Aussies are all descended from criminals, what do you
expect?”

“This is why you’re so popular down here, darling,” Philip joked.

“You are not seeing the big picture. This girl is obviously a cunning, deceitful GOLD
DIGGER! You know as well as I do that your son can never marry someone like that.
Can you imagine how
your
family is going to react when he brings this gold digger home?”

“Actually, I couldn’t care less what they think.”

“But don’t you see how this will affect Nicky? And
of course
your mother is going to blame me for this,
lah
. I
always
get blamed for
everything. Alamak
, surely you know how this will end.”

Philip sighed deeply. This was the reason he spent as much time as he possibly could
away
from Singapore.

“I’ve already asked Lorena Lim to use all her Beijing contacts to investigate the
girl’s family in China. We need to know everything. I don’t want to leave a single
stone unturned. We need to be prepared for every possibility,” Eleanor said.

“Don’t you think you’re going a bit overboard?”

“Absolutely not! We must put a stop to all this nonsense before it goes any further.
Do you want to know what Daisy Foo thinks?”

“Not really.”

“Daisy thinks that Nicky is going to propose to the girl while they’re in Singapore!”

“If he hasn’t already,” Philip teased.

“
Alamak!
Do you know something I don’t? Has Nicky told you—”

“No, no, no, don’t panic. Darling, you are letting your silly girlfriends work you
up for nothing. You just need to trust our son’s
good judgment. I’m sure this girl is going to turn out just fine.” The fish was really
tugging at the line now. Maybe it was a barramundi. He could ask his chef to grill
it for lunch. Philip just wanted to get off the phone.

That Thursday, at Carol Tai’s Bible study, Eleanor decided that it was time to call
in her ground troops. As the ladies sat around enjoying homemade
bobo chacha
and helping Carol organize her collection of Tahitian black pearls by color grade,
Eleanor began her lament as she savored her chilled coconut-and-sago pudding.

“Nicky doesn’t realize what a terrible thing he is doing to us. Now he tells me he’s
not even going to stay at our new flat when he arrives. He’s going to stay at Kingsford
Hotel with that girl! As if he needs to hide her from us!
Alamak
, how is this going to look?” Eleanor sighed dramatically.

“So disgraceful! Sharing a hotel room when they aren’t even married! You know, some
people might think they eloped and are coming here for their honeymoon!” Nadine Shaw
chimed in, though secretly the thought of any potential scandal that might bring those
high-and-mighty Youngs down a peg filled her with glee. She continued to fan Eleanor’s
flames, not that they needed any further stoking. “How dare this girl think she can
just waltz right into Singapore on Nicky’s arm and attend the social event of the
year without your approval? She obviously has no clue how things work here.”

“Aiyah, children these days don’t know how to behave,” Daisy Foo said quietly, shaking
her head. “My sons are just the same. You’re lucky that Nicky even
told
you he was bringing someone home. I would never be able to expect that from my boys.
I have to find out in the newspapers what they’re doing! What to do,
lah
? This is what happens when you educate your children overseas. They become too Westernized
and
aksi borak
^‡
when they return. Can you imagine—my daughter-in-law Danielle forces me to make an
appointment two weeks in advance just to see my grandchildren! She thinks that because
she graduated from
Amherst
she knows better than me how to raise my own grandchildren!”

“Better than
you
? Everyone knows these ABCs are descended from all the peasants that were too stupid
to survive in China!” Nadine cackled.

“Hey, Nadine, don’t underestimate them. These ABC girls can be
tzeen lee hai
,”
^§
Lorena Lim warned. “Now that America is broke, all these ABCs want to come to Asia
and sink their claws into our men. They are even worse that the Taiwanese tornadoes
because they are Westernized, sophisticated, and worst of all,
college educated
. Do you remember Mrs. Hsu Tsen Ta’s son? That Ivy League–degreed ex-wife of his
purposely
introduced him to the girl who would become his mistress, and then used that silly
excuse to get a huge divorce settlement. The Hsus had to sell so many properties just
to pay her off. So
sayang
!”
^‖

“My Danielle was so
kwai kwai
^a
at first, so dutiful and modest,” Daisy recalled. “Hiyah—the minute that thirty-carat
diamond was on her finger, she transformed into the bloody Queen of Sheba! Nowadays
she wears nothing but Prada, Prada, Prada, and have you seen how she makes my son
waste money by hiring that whole security team to escort her everywhere she goes,
as if she is some big shot? Who wants to kidnap her? My son and my grandchildren are
the ones who should have the bodyguards, not this girl with the flat nose!
Suey doh say!
”
^b

“I don’t know what I would do if my son brought home a girl like that.” Eleanor moaned
and put on her saddest expression.

“Come, come, Lealea, have some more
bobo chacha
,” Carol said, trying to soothe her friend as she ladled more of the fragrant dessert
into Eleanor’s bowl. “Nicky is a good boy. You should thank the Lord that he isn’t
like my Bernard. I gave up trying to get Bernard to listen to me long ago. His father
lets him get away with everything. What to do? His father just pays and pays, while
I just pray and pray. The Bible tells us we must accept what we cannot change.”

Lorena looked at Eleanor, wondering whether this was the right time to drop her bombshell.
She decided to go for it. “Eleanor, you asked me to do a little investigating for
you about this Chu girl’s
family in China, and I don’t want you to get
too
excited, but I’ve just received the most intriguing tidbit.”

“So fast? What did you find out?” Eleanor perked up.

“Well, there’s a fellow who claims to have ‘very valuable’ info on Rachel,” Lorena
continued.

“
Alamak
, what, what?” Eleanor asked, getting alarmed.

“I don’t know exactly, but it comes from a source in Shenzhen,” Lorena said.

“Shenzhen? Did they say what kind of information?”

“Well, they just said it was ‘very valuable,’ and they won’t talk over the phone.
They will only give you the information in person, and it’s going to cost you.”

“How did you find these people?” Eleanor asked excitedly.

“
Wah ooh kang tao, mah
,”
^c
Lorena said mysteriously. “I think you should go to Shenzhen next week.”

“That won’t be possible. Nicky and that girl will be here,” Eleanor replied.

“Elle, I think you should go
precisely
when Nicky and that girl arrive,” Daisy suggested. “Think about it—they are not even
staying with you, so you have the perfect excuse not to be here. And if you are not
here, you have all the advantage. You will show everyone that you are NOT rolling
out the red carpet for this girl, and you won’t lose face if she turns out to be a
total nightmare.”

“Plus you’ll have gained some vital new information,” Nadine added. “Maybe she’s already
married. Maybe she already has a child. Maybe she’s running some huge scam and—”

“Aiyah, I need a Xanax,” Eleanor cried, reaching into her purse.

“Lorena, stop scaring Lealea!” Carol interjected. “We don’t know this girl’s story,
maybe it’s nothing at all. Maybe God will bless Eleanor with a dutiful God-fearing
daughter-in-law.
‘Judge not lest ye be judged.’
Matthew 7:1.”

Eleanor considered everything that her friends had to say. “Daisy, you’re always so
smart. Lorena, can I stay at your beautiful flat in Shenzhen?”

“Of course. I was going to come with you. Also, I’ve been dying to go on another shopping
marathon in Shenzhen.”

“Who else wants to come to Shenzhen this weekend? Carol, are
you in?” Eleanor asked, hoping that Carol could be roped in and they would get to
use her plane.

Carol leaned over from her bed and said, “I’ll check, but I think we can take the
plane if we leave before the weekend. I know my husband has to fly to Beijing to take
over some Internet company called Ali Baibai earlier in the week. And Bernard’s using
the plane for Colin Khoo’s bachelor party on Saturday.”

“Let’s all go to Shenzhen for a ladies’ spa weekend!” Nadine declared. “I want to
go to that place where they soak your feet in those wooden buckets and then massage
them for an hour.”

Eleanor was beginning to get excited. “This is a good plan. Let’s go shop till we
drop in Shenzhen. We’ll let Nicky and this girl manage on their own, and then I will
return with my valuable information.”

“Your valuable
ammunition
,” Lorena corrected.

“Haha, that’s right,” Nadine cheered, digging into her handbag and beginning to text
her stockbroker covertly. “Now Carol, what was the name of that Internet company the
dato’
is planning to take over?”

Rachel and Nicholas

The plane banked sharply to the left, breaking out of the clouds as Rachel caught
sight of the island for the first time. They had departed New York twenty-one hours
ago, and after one refueling stop in Frankfurt, she was in Southeast Asia now, in
the realm her ancestors called the
Nanyang.
^*
But the view she could glimpse from the plane did not resemble some romantic terrain
swathed in mist—rather, it was a dense metropolis of skyscrapers glittering in the
evening sky, and from six thousand feet Rachel could already feel the pulsating energy
that was one of the world’s financial powerhouses.

As the electronic doors of the customs area slid open to reveal the tropical oasis
that was the arrival hall of Terminal Three, the first thing Nick saw was his friend
Colin Khoo holding up a large placard with
BEST MAN
printed on it. Beside him stood an exceedingly tan, willowy girl clutching a bunch
of silver balloons.