Crazy Sexy Diet: Eat Your Veggies, Ignite Your Spark, and Live Like You Mean It! (54 page)

My body is a blessing. I am so grateful to live in this beautiful temple. Please show me corners I didn’t know existed. Please help me tend to those corners.

I am graceful. I am fierce. I am gentle. I am a powerhouse. I am silly. I am serious. I love all my opposites and I am balancing them with ease.

Pump iron! Every pound of muscle in your body burns about 35 to 50 calories a day, while a pound of fat burns only around 2 calories. Strength training literally keeps your metabolism firing. Experts suggest thirty minutes of strength training two to three times a week. Exercise bands are another way to build strength. The bands are pretty and portable. Shove them in your purse and hit the park! Because you fasted yesterday, you may want to give yourself an enema followed by some probiotics today or get a colonic for a deeper cleaning. Fasting rustles up the gunk. Help move it out!

Have compassion. Sometimes it’s hard to show yourself compassion. If that’s the case, do it for the animals, the planet, the big picture. I protest suffering by voting with my fork and spending my dollars where they matter. Or better yet, do it for your children. Let the legacy of deprivation end with you.

Day 9
21-DAY
CLEANSE

How’s your belly treating you
, love? You may be a little constipated, or perhaps you’re experiencing the opposite—what my mom calls “the scoots.” Either way, it’s pretty normal. You’re cleansing and rebuilding while flooding and flushing. The payoff comes with consistency. Fiber is like dumbbells for your tubes, making them stronger. Perhaps you’re eliminating like a champ (one to three times per day) and you wonder if that’s natural. Yes! If you’re visiting the loo more than usual, rejoice. If not, check out products like Oxy-Mag or Natural Calm and a good probiotic. You may need a little help to get things moving.

Notice your bowels today. Ladies were taught not to poop or puff. Undo that ridiculous domestication. Gas is good. Poop is great. Tight jeans are silly. Let your belly breathe.

Sometimes I’m really uptight and impatient. Please help me turn my pounding fists into open receiving hands.

I let go with ease. I am a clear channel. Energy flows through me, and all good things come to me.

Speaking of constipation, chemical-laden deodorants constipate your armpits. Check out
skindeep.org
for deodorant suggestions. Hugo Naturals Sea Fennel & Passionflower is my personal fave.

If you’re experiencing gas or bloating, try to be more consistent about food combining. Take a digestive enzyme with your meals and don’t drink water while you eat.

Day 10
21-DAY
CLEANSE

You’ve made it to double digits!
Hip hip hooray! So how ya feeling, Wellness Warrior? We’re powering our bodies with nature’s electricity in order to shoot to the beautiful stars. But that doesn’t mean we always feel good while on the trip. No doubt you felt some emotional and physical roller coasters last week. This week you might be really pissed off at me, the book, the cleanse, the world, yourself, the mailman, the president, everyone. It’s just withdrawal symptoms, but it does not mean your feelings aren’t valid and important. Notice and acknowledge them. But don’t let ’em tell you what to do. What’s really behind the tantrums? Are you having difficulty installing healthy boundaries? Saying no is a very liberating experience! If we say yes when we mean no, emotional chaos follows. If you’re hitting some hot pockets, let yourself vent it out. Get ye to thy journal, unbridled wench! Get thyself to the mountain top and scream thy head off!

Meet your priestess. She is a force of nature. She adores sex, sauntering in red heels, free speech, and loud laughter. The priestess is deeply loving and compassionate but she’ll fight to the death to protect her inner kid. Oh, and she smells good, too—like patchouli and rose with a splash of Egyptian musk. If your priestess has been amputated in any way, heal her.

Knowing I am loved and beautiful inside and out, may I embrace my feminine energy. Guide me back to my priestess and teach me never to leave her again.

I am ripe with power, passion, and sizzle. I love and cherish my femininity.

Dance naked. Follow it up with a candlelit, hot soak. A couple of drops of rosemary, lavender, or pine essential oil relax the muscles and the mind. Sit back and sip some herbal tea while you’re at it.

Include some “functional food” in your salad today. Kimchi or other naturally fermented veggies (available in the refrigerated section of natural and organic food stores) do wonders for your friendly flora.

Day 11
21-DAY
CLEANSE

Yesterday you set about
acknowledging your frustrations and anger. Today, start paying attention to those moments when you feel—out of the blue—fabulous. Many people experience a sense of well-being and even euphoria in the middle of a cleanse. You’re eating a lot of mood foods—stuff that’s better than Prozac with fewer side effects. Love these feelings and they’ll love you back by multiplying. Love yourself and the world around you and you’ll experience heaven on earth. If you have a hard time pinpointing what you love, maybe you’re just out of practice. I’ll help you jog your memory!

Make a love list—ten things you absolutely love. Love is a magnetic force that attracts an infinite amount of goodness into our cells. Love makes us radiant. Notice the love and invite it to tea. Give your darlings validation no matter how small or seemingly insignificant. This simple act reminds us that life is full of blessings. It’s amazing how many beautiful things we notice when we train our eyes.

Allow me to notice the miracles and majesty in my life—noticing the magic helps me notice myself.

I love how wonderful I feel and I am so incredibly proud of myself, right now, today.

If it’s nice out, take a bike ride. If it’s crappy outside (or cold) crank up the heat to 75 for thirty minutes and have a warm yoga session. Next, book a massage and write it in red ink on your calendar.

Sprout! Mung bean sprouts are an incredibly nutritious addition to your salad. You can find exact sprouting directions at sproutman.com. Here’s my down-and-dirty version: Soak the beans in warm water overnight. Drain them in a colander and rinse several times over the course of a day or so. When their little tails grow to about an inch (give or take), they’re ready to chow. Store them in the refrigerator.

Day 12
21-DAY
CLEANSE

Gratitude is the attitude!
Now that you’ve identified what you love, it’s a delicious time to welcome gratitude into your life. Gratitude puts you in a position of having instead of wanting. When I take stock of my blessings, I get more blessings. When I throw bottomless “wanting” out into the universe, I get back more wanting. Life doesn’t start when all your ducks are in a row; it’s happening right now. Notice what you do have instead of focusing on what you don’t. Plenty multiplies like horny bunnies, but so does lack. If you can’t think of anything, then your inner sourpuss has hijacked you. This is very serious. Immediately send a SWAT team armed with a flre hose of sunshine to your rescue.

Here’s something for you to mull over. What if your problems disappeared today? Would you be instantly happy? Tell the truth. My sense is that the answer would be no. Most of us build state-of-the-art infrastructure to house our ego’s negative voice. We provide sturdy platforms for doubt and despair. If the source of the misery were removed, don’t think for a nanosecond that the self-created support beams would vanish with it. When you stop feeding the negativity, it will collapse.

With gratitude for all that I have, remind me to take stock and be thankful for another day on Mama Earth.

My life is abundant now; rivers of joy and health flood my inner ashram and fill me with stamina, strength, and amen.

Download a guided meditation or peaceful chanting CD. Take fifteen minutes or more to rest and regroup.

Clean out the makeup bag and medicine cabinet. Be grateful that you have alternatives—and use them. Chemical moisturizers, old lipsticks and eye shadows—gotta go.