Authors: Marisa Logan
Kimmy went to wait in the barbecue line for some more hot dogs, leaving me and Tom alone. We suddenly fell into an awkward silence. I looked up at him, forcing a smile. He smiled back, but looked as unsure what to say as I was. After all, what
did
you say to the single dad that your cousin brought to the family picnic to cover up the fact that she was gay?
“So, you guys really go all out for Easter,” Tom said, looking around at the crowded pavilion. People were playing board games at a few tables, there was music playing, and one group had set up a volleyball net on the grass off to one side. They kept having to run downhill to fetch the ball every time someone missed a shot, then someone had to climb back up the hill before the game could continue. My asthma burned just watching it all.
“We go kind of crazy for everything,” I said. “You should see the Christmas parties.”
“Are they like this?”
“Sort of,” I said. “But with more drama and fighting.” I didn't have many good memories of the family Christmas parties. Someone inevitably got into a big argument, usually when they'd been drinking too much.
“What about you?” I asked. “Got a big family?”
“No, not really.” Tom frowned slightly, then took another drink of cider. “TJ's mom has a big family, so he's always involved in a lot of family events with them. But I've only got one sister, and she lives down in North Carolina. We don't talk much.”
“That's a shame.” I felt a twinge in my chest at the sad, lonely look on Tom's face. “I guess since the divorce, or the separation rather, you haven't been welcome to the big family gatherings.”
“No, not at all.” He smirked and shook his head. “Though at least it means I don't need to deal with my mother-in-law anymore. She never approved of my religion, or lack of religion rather. They're all strict Lutherans.”
“Blessing in disguise, I suppose.”
“Yeah.” He took another drink. His shoulders were slumped and some of the light was gone from his eyes. I wanted to give him a hug, to make some kind of contact to let him know he wasn't alone in the world. It must have been hard, being cut off from everyone. Estranged from his wife's family, without any family of his own. It seemed that TJ was the only person left in his world.
Thinking about it made my heart ache.
Kimmy returned with hot dogs for all. I ate more than I probably should have, considering how tight my pants had been the past few days. All of the Easter candy on the various tables didn't help much either. I consoled myself by saying that it didn't count, since it was a holiday. Jesus would have wanted me to have some chocolate.
After lunch, people started dividing the kids up into groups for the Easter egg hunt. They divided everyone by age. The pre-K kids were brought down to the playground, where the plastic eggs were scattered about mostly in plain view to give them an easy time of it. Some of the slightly older kids, TJ included, were brought to a little patch of trees between the pavilion and the parking lot, where the eggs were at least a little bit harder to find.
While the kids were having their fun, I spotted something I hadn't thought about for years. “Hey,” I said to Tom, tugging on his arm, “come check this out.”
“What's up?” he asked, following along.
I led him to the edge of the tree line where a few pine trees grew close together. I searched for a minute to find the right place, then lifted one of the lower branches, revealing a path to the interior. I led Tom inside, and we found ourselves surrounded by pines that mostly blocked us from view. We had to duck down to avoid banging our heads on more branches, but the growth was sparse on the inside.
“What's this?” Tom asked. “Your secret garden?”
I laughed and shook my head. “No. It was my favorite hiding place here when I was a kid. Here, look.”
I pointed to one of the trees, where two hearts were carved into the trunk. “Kimmy did this one,” I said, pointing to one that read “K.L. + J.H.” “It was the first girl she had a serious crush on. They sort of dated for awhile when she was like, fourteen. When she carved this was when she first told me she liked girls.”
“And this one?” Tom asked with a smile, pointing to the other heart. It read “Irvine 4 Ever.” “Who was 'Irvine'? Childhood crush?”
My face turned bright red. “Oh God. Sort of.”
“Sort of?” His smile widened.
“Well,” I said, “it's kind of embarrassing.”
“Oh, come on,” he said, prodding me gently in the shoulder. “We all have silly crushes when we're kids. When I was thirteen, I was madly in love with my social studies teacher.”
“That's perfectly normal.”
He stared me down, grinning. It was clear he wasn't going to let up. “So, who was Irvine? Boy at your school? Teacher? Online friend?”
I looked away, laughing at my own foolishness. “Actually...he was a video game character.”
“Oh.” Tom stared at me for a moment, then burst out laughing.
I laughed as well. “Look, he had this cowboy thing going on, and it used to get me all hot and bothered, okay?”
We had a fit of giggles for a few moments. “It's okay,” Tom said. “I'm sure he was no more unobtainable for you than Mrs. Stevens was for me.”
He reached out and his fingers brushed against mine. I clasped his hand and looked up at him. My giggles started to subside, leaving me feeling warm and energized. Our eyes met.
Then he kissed me.
He pulled me close in the cramped confines between the pine trees. I reached up and cupped his face in my hands. His lips were soft and his chin rough with just a bit of stubble. His arms wrapped around me and held me close. We shared a moment there, under the trees, like I hadn't experienced in a very long time.
The moment ended when we heard some kids racing by and shouting. We pulled apart, both smiling and laughing. I peeked through the branches to see if we'd been caught.
“Wow,” I said.
“Wow, indeed.” He held my hand, studying my face as if seeing me for the first time all over again.
We didn't talk about it right then. It felt best just to savor the moment. Though by unspoken agreement we decided to slip back out of the trees and rejoin the group before anyone noticed we were missing.
As we were circling back around the pines, Kimmy caught sight of us. I looked at her, blushing, while I plucked a few stray pine needles from my hair. Tom coughed and looked down at his feet.
“Well, well, well,” Kimmy said, stalking towards us with her hands on her hips and a grin on her face. “Amy Marie Loch, have you been fooling around in the bushes with my fake boyfriend?”
Chapter 5
When Tom was checking on TJ after the Easter egg hunt, Kimmy pulled me off to the side, out of earshot of everyone else. “So, what's going on?” she asked. “I thought you said he was just someone who came to the museum once.”
“He is, or, he was.” I buried my face in my hands. “Argh! I don't know. It just happened but he's so...”
“Cute?” Kimmy asked, looking across the way to study him. “I mean, he obviously doesn't do anything for me, but you do you, honey.”
“
It's not that,” I said. “I mean, he
is
kinda cute. But it's more that he's so sweet, and smart, and he seems like such a good father. I don't know.” I wasn't sure where I was going with this, except that I was hoping the path led to more kissing.
“So are you going to see him again?” Kimmy asked. “Or is this just a little Easter fling. Which if it is, I'm totally supportive of it. Sometimes you just need a little action to relieve the holiday stress.”
I smacked her on the arm, laughing. “Stop it! I'm not looking for an 'Easter fling.' God, he has a kid for chrissakes.”
“So, make sure to give him your number. Or better yet, invite him to your birthday.”
“Oh, no. I'm not doing a birthday party this year.”
“What?” Kimmy crossed her arms and stared me down. “Look, girl, I don't care what you say. I'm not going to see you again for months. We're going drinking for your birthday.”
“Technically my birthday is next week,” I said. My birthday was always near Easter, though since Easter was on a random Sunday each year and its position on the calendar could only be understood by mastering quantum physics, I never knew if my birthday would actually fall on Easter or not.
“Technically, schmecnically. You're drinking with me tomorrow before you go home, and we're having cake. In fact...”
She grinned when she saw Tom and TJ returning. TJ held the bottom of his shirt folded up like a basket, with a pile of plastic eggs nestled inside. He was using his free hand to open the eggs and sort through the candy inside.
“Tom!” Kimmy said, giving him a hug. “So since you and Amy are 'getting along' so well, she wanted to invite you to her birthday party tomorrow. Cake, beer, and plenty of good music. You game?”
“I'd love to,” Tom said. “Just tell me when and where.” He smiled at me in a way that made me feel warm, and I felt all of my protests dying on my tongue.
“Tomorrow night, my place, and whatever time you get done work. Say, six, six-thirty?”
“I'll be there,” Tom said.
Kimmy gave Tom her home address, grinning at me the entire time. I gave her the death glare, torn between being irritated with her for trapping me like this, and glad that she'd gotten me a date with Tom.
The rest of the day was uneventful as the gathering slowly wound down. There was no more hanky panky between Tom and I, especially since he still had to keep up with the pretense that he was here as Kimmy's date. Though at the end of the day, he walked me to my car, while TJ was busy saying goodbye to the friends he'd made.
“I'm glad we ran into each other here,” he said, taking my hand. “And I'm really looking forward to tomorrow.”
“Me too. Though don't expect much of a party. It'll probably just be us, plus Kimmy and her girlfriend.”
“Ahh, yes. The girlfriend who couldn't come today.” He frowned and shook his head. “It's a shame Kimmy has to hide so much. You'd think we'd be past that by now.”
I shrugged. “It is what it is. She doesn't hide who she is anywhere else. It's just to avoid family drama.”
“Well, I hope that if things work out between you and me, we don't blow her cover.”
I laughed and shook my head. “Oh, yeah, I can just see it now. 'Hey, Amy, isn't your date the guy Kimmy brought at Easter?' Oh my.”
He laughed as well, then we shared a moment of comfortable silence. He took both of my hands in his, then leaned forward. I met him halfway, letting my lips brush against his just for a moment.
When we parted, I glanced across the parking lot and saw TJ staring at us. I swallowed a lump in my throat, but kept my mouth shut. Considering what the boy had been through lately, I didn't know how he'd react to his dad meeting someone new. Though I figured it would be best to leave that discussion to Tom.
“I'll see you tomorrow night,” Tom said. He squeezed my hands one last time, then turned and left.
I watched him go, then I loaded my cooler, filled now with the leftovers I'd snagged, into the back of my car. I drove back to Mom's house, my thoughts filled with ideas of what tomorrow night would bring.
Chapter 6
I stood in Kimmy's kitchen the next night with a beer in one hand and a tube of mint-green cake decorating gel in the other. “This is stupid,” I said. “He's going to think this is stupid.”
“He won't care,” Allison said. I hadn't met Kimmy's new girlfriend before, but we'd hit it off just fine as soon as I came over. “He's not here for the cake. He's here for you.”
“It should say 'Happy Easter' too,” Kimmy said. She leaned over from her seat on top of the kitchen counter and dragged her finger through the edge of the cake, scooping off some icing.
I smacked her hand away. “Wait until Tom gets here, sheesh!”
I looked down at the cake, where I'd already written “Happy Birthday.” We'd bought the cake twenty minutes ago, and decided that it would be cheaper and more “fun” to decorate it ourselves. So far, it was covered in a mess of candy confetti and bright pink sugar. I'd scrawled on the “Happy Birthday” as best as I could, but I'd run out of space, leaving the “d,” the “a,” and the “y” lopsided and curving around the edge of the cake.
“This looks so lame.”
“Gimme,” Kimmy said, hopping down off the counter as she sucked the icing off her finger. She took the tube of gel and scrawled “Happy Easter” on the cake in her smooth, cursive handwriting.
“Great, that looks even worse,” I said.
“Screw you too, hon!” Kimmy said, smacking my arm.
“I think it looks fine,” Allison said.
“
Sure,
her
part does,” I said. “But now it makes mine look even lamer.”
The doorbell rang.
“
Oh God.” I smoothed my shirt, then cursed when I realized I'd just smeared green gel all over it. I hadn't had any nice clothes to wear, since I'd only packed for the family gathering, not a date. I'd worn my
Steam Powered Giraffe
t-shirt, and now there was a big green smear over the co-lead singer Rabbit's face.
“Here, we got this,” Allison said. She led me to the sink and started scrubbing the gel out with a damp paper towel, while Kimmy went to answer the door.
We were still patting my shirt dry when Kimmy led Tom into the kitchen. He was carrying a bottle of wine. “Happy birthday,” he said, handing it to me.
“Aww, thank you,” I said. I gave him a kiss, then turned my attention back to the cake. “As you can see, you arrived right in the middle of our grand decorating fiasco.”
“Well, it looks delicious,” he said. He took the wine bottle back from me and started opening it. “I hope you don't mind if this is something of a double-celebration tonight. I just got some good news.”
“Oh?”
“Yup. My divorce is finally finalized. I just got the papers today.”
“Woohoo!” I said, throwing my hands up in the air. “Now I don't have to deal with the awkward explanations about how I'm dating a married man.”
We all laughed. Kimmy took the decorating gel again and said, “We can squeeze in one more bit of celebration.”
She scrawled “Merry Divorce” across the bottom, underneath “Happy Birthday” and “Happy Easter.” Tom look at it and laughed.
“I'm definitely eating that piece,” he said.
Allison put on some music while we sliced the cake and poured some drinks. We danced with plates of cake in one hand and plastic forks in the other. As birthday parties went, it was all I ever wanted, especially considering the guy I was dancing with. Neither one of us could actually dance, and we kept blushing and giving each other awkward smiles while we shuffled about Kimmy's living room.
As the night wore on, Kimmy and Allison started making out. Then they slipped back into Kimmy's bedroom, while Kimmy paused to give me a conspiratorial wink. I blushed and glanced at Tom, who was sitting on the couch now, nursing a glass of wine.
Once we were alone together, I turned the music down, then sat next to him.
“So,” I said.
“So,” he said. “Happy birthday. You're, what, twenty-eight? Twenty-nine?”
I laughed and smacked him on the knee. “Dork. No, I'm thirty-mmphrmphhmm.”
“Ahh,” he said, nodding sagely. “A wise old age indeed. I hope you don't care that I'm only twenty- mmphrmphhmm.”
I snickered and shook my head. “No. I'm fine with dating a guy who's mmphrmphhmm years younger than me.” I turned towards him with a flirtatious smile.
“And a guy who has a kid?” he asked, his expression turning serious. He played with the stem of his wine glass, looking down at his lap.
I took his face in my hands and turned it towards me. “Just means I already know you're a great father.”
I kissed him, and he set down the wine glass to take me in his arms. We made out there on the sofa like a couple of teenagers, while I was sure Kimmy and Allison were in the bedroom doing quite a bit more. I wasn't sure how far I wanted to go so soon, but when Tom started caressing me, I knew I wanted something.
My hands softly explored him, bringing a moan. Tom looked at me with wide eyes, eager but hesitant.
I smiled encouragingly and while the music played on in the background and we started a different type of dance.