Crazy, Undercover, Love (22 page)

‘Just a quick chat with the big boss,’ he answers, looking round me.

‘He’s not here,’ I bite.

‘But he is usually, right?’ He shoves his way into the room and I jump back. ‘Interesting that you share a suite,’ he muses, ‘but with separate bedrooms. Maybe you’re not as a close to him as you might have led me to believe yesterday.’

I should set him right. Not that I can deny I’ve slept with Alex, but I could tell Tony my motivation has nothing to do with the claim. But the worried glint is still in his eye and right now I’m more worried about my personal safety than anything else. If him thinking I have Alex on side protects me, I’ll keep the pretence going for now.

Pulling my spine straight, I ignore the towel rising up my thighs. ‘Tony, this is getting tired.’ I force a bored tone, ‘Just leave.’

‘You’re sleeping with him.’

‘You’re right,’ I admit with a genuine smile, thinking how earth-shattering the sex is. ‘I am.’

He deflates, obviously expecting a different response. ‘You are?’

‘Yes.’ I watch with glee as his normally pink skin goes white. A wild, reckless feeling uncurls inside me. After what he did, I want to see him squirm. ‘And let me tell you, it’s certainly not a big ask when it’s with someone as gorgeous as Alex.'

Tony takes a threatening step towards me and although I flinch internally, on the outside I project bravado, imagining I’m the star of a TV soap. ‘He’s very easily persuaded with the right currency,’ I cross my arms under my boobs and hike them up to make my point. ‘What can I say? I’ve got him hooked.’ I stare him down, hoping he won’t lose his temper and punch me. ‘I don’t think we’ll be going to tribunal now. They’ll give me a vast settlement and, in return, I’ll forget all about what you did.’

‘I don’t believe you,’ he spits.

‘Well here’s the proof you need.’ Crossing the room, I thrust Alex’s bedroom door open to reveal the messy bed and the heaps of clothes on the floor I'm now grateful neither of us tidied away. It’s a crude demonstration and inside I’m cringing, but a girl has to do what’s necessary.

‘Oh.’ Tony staggers back, heading for the main door.

‘Oh.’ The echo comes from the open doorway, where Alex stands glowering, all trace of our time together wiped off his face, looking like the cynical, stern CEO from Friday.

Oh, fuck.

Oh double, triple fuck.

‘A–Alex. Did you hear—’

‘All the important things,’ he grinds out, looking murderous. ‘How shall I summarise? How about sex, tribunal and a pay-off?’

I can’t breathe, feeling like I’m going to be sick on my own feet. In the middle of taking a shaky step away from Tony towards Alex, I stop, feeling like a Jurassic insect frozen in amber. Spots twirl and spin in front of my eyes. I screw them shut, wishing it would make the scene disappear.

Alex shakes his head so hard when I open my mouth a vein starts pounding in his forehead. ‘Don’t.’ The word is so full of contempt I flinch. He whirls to Tony. ‘You know each other already? Before yesterday?’

‘Yes, sir,’ bastard-face confirms, stepping away from me, a smug smile curling his mouth.

The fury rolls off Alex in waves, his eyes narrow, jaw tight. ‘What’s her name? And how do you know her?’

‘Charlotte Wright.’ Tony's eyes gleam with triumph. ‘She was my manager at the casino. She was proven to have sexually harassed and bullied me in a disciplinary hearing. She lost her job.’

‘I bloody did not! That’s a lie. It was the other way around! He was after my jo—’

‘Shut up!’ Alex rounds on me, breathing hard.

I’m so stunned I obey, clamping my teeth shut. It’s not an argument I want to have in front of Tony anyway.

‘Mr Ferrier.’ Alex stares at him, hard and cold. ‘You can leave now. But you don’t tell anyone about any of this. Do you understand me?’

‘Yes, sir.’ Tony swaggers to the door and gives me a self-satisfied smirk over Alex’s shoulder.

As soon as he shuts the door behind him, I rush over to Alex, grabbing his arm. ‘He’s talking rubbish. I didn’t—’

‘Is it true?’ Alex asks in an icy voice, shaking me off. ‘Is your name Charlotte Wright?’

‘Yes,’ I cry anxiously, ‘but—’

He looks like he wants to kill someone, probably me. ‘And were you dismissed at a disciplinary?’

‘Yes! But I didn’t do it. Tony—’

‘And do you have an ongoing tribunal claim against Ionian Casinos?’

I want to latch onto him physically, beg him to listen, but when I move forward, his disgusted expression scrubs the idea. ‘Yes, but I’m dropping it.’

‘If I called the court office now they’d confirm that, would they?’

‘No. I haven’t done it yet, but I’d decided to.’ As I say it, I really feel it. I can’t let it consume my life any more. Tony’s done enough damage. It’s time to move on.

‘That’s convenient,’ he says sarcastically, face going hard, sliding forward to get in my space.

Lifting my chin, I stare him right in the eye. I may be in the wrong but I won’t be intimidated. ‘Firstly,’ I state in a clear voice, holding a hand between us, gripping the towel with the other, ‘back off. Secondly, just hold on. Don’t jump to any conclusions.’

He breathes in and out, circling away to put a sofa between us. ‘I respect the first. As for the second, don’t give me orders. I’ll do what the hell I want.’

‘I’m not trying to order you around, I’m just asking you to listen. You don’t have the right—’

‘The right? Cheats and liars and fraudsters don’t have any rights in my eyes.’ His laugh is bitter and makes me want to cry. I’ve hurt him, just like Louise did. I’ve made him think I don’t want him for who he is, only what he can do for me. He is so, so wrong. He needs to understand that. He needs to hear me.

‘You cold bitch—’

‘Alex—’

‘You’re nothing but a—’

Striding forward, I don’t try and hide how bloody incandescent he’s making me, slapping my palm on the sofa. ‘Stop it!’ I shout. ‘Now!
It’s not how it sounds. I was going to tell you! Will you just listen?’

‘No,’ he yells back. ‘You lied to me, deliberately hid that you were an ex-employee, told me in the car on Friday you knew nothing about the company.’ His mouth curls. ‘I should have followed my instincts. Women aren’t to be trusted. And it all makes sense now. You said yourself you’re broke – win a claim of sexual harassment and wrongful dismissal at tribunal and get, what, fifty, sixty thousand – but blackmail the CEO and get even more. What a conniving bitch. You’re even worse than Louise.’

Nothing else he could say would hurt as much because after last night I know how much he detests his ex. His voice is so full of venom that for the first time I feel tangible fear, a dip in my stomach. ‘Alex, that’s not what I was after. I just wanted a fair hearing. Tony made it up and I knew I didn’t have much of a chance of winning at tribunal, so I came along to just … ’ I flounder.

‘Just?’ Alex asks softly, and somehow it’s worse than any shouting.

‘Get to know you, explain who I was, tell you my side of the story, and see if you might help. Or something. I didn’t have a proper plan. It was short notice, I had a friend at the agency, we thought it might help and– it was crazy, stupid. But I had to do something! You don’t know what I’ve been through because of him.’

He sweeps a hand through the air. ‘I’m not interested in your little sob story,’ he snarls. ‘And even if I believed any of what you just said, you slept with me.’ His voice is deep and precise, like sharp steel cutting into my bruised flesh. ‘You’re just like those WAGs,’ he condemns, ‘willing to prostitute yourself in return for cash and possessions.’

‘I am
not
the same as Louise,’ I bellow, throwing both hands up in the air like they can actually stop the toxic words erupting from his mouth. I rub my temples. I need a moment to clear my head, start again, help him understand. ‘Let’s take a break,’ I whisper, ‘I’ll go put some clothes on and make a hot drink and we can talk this through.’

He laughs harshly. ‘You’re delusional. You really think I’m going to stick around and have a cosy pot of tea with you? There’s nothing more to say, other than I won’t be settling your claim and I’ll make sure we fight you with everything we have.’

‘I told you, there’ll be no tribunal.’

‘Why not?’ He holds onto the back of the sofa with both hands, knuckles white. ‘You’re in the perfect place to blackmail me now we’ve slept together.’

I look down, feeling ashamed. ‘Alex, I know you’re angry and hurt but—’

‘Don’t be cocky,’ he throws my teasing words back at me in a rigid voice. ‘I’m angry because you’ve abused my trust. I’m not hurt. I have no reason to be. If I was hurt, it would mean that I cared.’ His gaze is violent as he comes round the sofa to tower over me, ‘And don’t fool yourself.’ His breath brushes my cheekbone as he enunciates the next few words, staring straight at me so I get the message.
‘I. Don’t. Care
.’

The sentence sends shredding pain running through me, strands of darkness twisting round it.

‘Wait!’ My clenched hands are shaking with adrenalin and prickly anger. Edgy frustration makes me shudder as he storms toward the door. The gorgeous guy who takes his responsibilities so seriously, who is compassionate and good, the one who has a secretly playful side, who I’m attracted to, and who is such an angel in bed, is gone.

I have to try and get him back.

Stumbling across the room, I block his exit, squeezing myself between his body and the door, leaning back against it.

‘I didn’t plan to sleep with you. It just happened. I tried to tell you the truth last night, but we ended up in bed.’ Reaching out my hands, I lay them on his chest, hoping he’ll feel my sincerity, praying he’ll look past the lies and see the real person, and the truth.

But his livid look screams
don’t touch me
and he grabs my upper arms and moves me out the way.

He yanks open the door with a loud click, ‘You had the time to tell me whenever we were alone together. Including this morning.’ Something tries to settle on his face but he blanks his features.

‘It was never the right time. And then when it was … I didn’t want it to end. I enjoyed spending time with you. You get me,’ I keep babbling as he opens his mouth with no doubt another less than flattering comment. ‘I lied about my name, and my last job and the tribunal, yes. But that’s all I lied about. Everything else I said was the truth. I swear it,’ I bang my fist on my chest, ‘I swear I’m real, and being honest now. And I promise I never assumed because we slept together you would—’

‘I’ve heard enough. It’s good you never assumed anything,’ he says coolly over his shoulder as he steps into the corridor, ‘so you won’t be disappointed you won’t be getting paid.’

‘For the assignment?’

‘If that's how you want to take it.'

I crumple against the door frame, unable to believe his words. He means the sex.

He refuses to look at me. ‘Get your stuff and get out,
Miss Wright
. The car will take you to the jet.’ His head angles oddly. For a second I wonder if he might relent, ‘To be absolutely clear,’ his knuckles tighten around the handle, ‘I never want to see you again. We’re done.’

A vicious slam punctuates the remark. I gawk, wondering if the door will come off its hinges. I hurl myself down onto the smooth leather sofa, place my hands palm down to anchor myself. ‘Shit.
Shit
. No,’ I moan. A louder voice is galloping through my head.
Yes.
I bury my face in a cushion, tears leaking out, hoping if I ignore the world, it will ignore me for a while.

I shower again, needing to feel clean. Unfortunately no combination of water and soap is strong enough. The phone rings as I stand dripping and dazed in the bedroom. ‘Alex?’ I snatch it up.

‘It is Maria from reception,’ her warm accented voice murmurs. ‘Your car will be outside for you in twenty minutes, madam.’

‘Thanks.’ I fumble the phone back into its cradle with a hollow clunk.

Then I shake myself. I don’t have long. Flinging my stuff into the suitcase, I yank on underwear, tights and a figure-hugging blue woollen dress with vertiginous black high heels, twist my hair up and dab make-up on, hoping it’s enough to conceal the state of my face.

I stagger through the suite to knock on Alex’s bedroom door, my movements uncoordinated and jerky. No reply. Shame, anger and defiance thread through me.

I can’t leave like this. I’ve got to try again.

Bending over the dressing table in my room, I scrawl a series of jumbled notes, screwing them up and tossing them in the bin. The minutes are ticking by and my breathless panic increases as the moments pass.
Calm down
. Biting my lip, I take a moment to study the wide Mediterranean outside the window, the bright January sunlight glinting off white caps, sky blue and brilliant. I wonder if the sea would swallow me whole if I asked it to. It’s calming though, the view reminding me I’m a tiny part of a much bigger world, giving me perspective.

With a new sense of resolve, I go to the desk and bend over the pad.

Alex,

I’m sorry. But only for lying, not for the things you want me to be guilty of because trusting someone would be too hard. I get why, but you can’t go through life never trusting anyone, even if, like me, they give you good reason to doubt them.

The money for the assignment would have helped me survive a little longer, but that was the only sum I was interested in receiving after getting to know you. This weekend started out about justice and vindication and yes, compensation for what Tony did to me, but I can see I went about it the wrong way.

I was wrong.

I didn’t sleep with you to gain your trust or for a pay-off. You and I just happened. It wasn’t planned. In fact it was the very last thing I was looking for. Maybe at some point you’ll talk to Tony and look in his eyes for the truth and you won’t find it there, because all he’s ever done is lied. I know I have too, but only about what happened to me before we met and the reasons I came here, not about who I truly am – someone who likes you for the person you are behind the CEO persona.

Alex, I hope you do what you want with your life, whatever makes you happy.

Charley x

A sob lodges in my throat. Grabbing my case, handbag and coat, I leave my bedroom and shove the note under Alex’s door before rushing to the lift. I smile blindly during check-out, focusing on the exit. Then there’s a blank spot and I’m staring at the clouds outside the small round window of the plane. During the flight the staff do their best to look after me but I stare vacantly out of the window. I don’t even get nervous on landing, I’m too numb, and by the time the wheels touch down on tarmac my eyeballs are dry and scratchy with the effort of not crying in front of
his
crew.

Stumbling from the plane into the back of the car, there is one thing I know for sure.

I’m not the same person I was four days ago. The weekend, and knowing Alex, has shifted something inside me. I’ll need to figure out how to deal with it. But not now.

An hour passes and I’m delivered straight to my flat, knocking the front door shut with my hip and throwing my keys into the purple ceramic bowl on the hallway table, a sweet but gaudy gift from one of Jess’s pupils. I throw my coat at the square functional rack constructed by Jess and I over the course of a long, fraught Saturday afternoon when we ended up cursing everything about self-assembly furniture, modern and Scandinavian.

I tuck my case against the wall. The flat looks strange, both new and familiar.

‘Jess?’ I texted her in the car but haven’t received a reply. She’s probably in class.

Kicking off my heels, I flex my cramped toes back and forth against the floor whilst sifting through the post. Mostly bills. I expected more envelopes but then realise the postman’s only delivered once since I left on Friday afternoon. I traipse into the lounge. Painted in crisp whites and creams with wide bay windows, it looks out over a colourful bustling London street and is my favourite room. It offers little peace now. I deflate onto one of the large black sofas heaped with colourful Middle Eastern-style cushions.

Gazing at the cracked ceiling, I can’t believe I was in one of the most amazing and cosmopolitan cities in Europe a few hours ago and am now back in London in the bitter cold. Now I’m home safe I can blub and shout and throw things if I want to. I wait for it to hit, but nothing happens.