June 30
th
1870
Gillian’s insides twisted as dread filled her, June 30
th
had arrived. The day of the big race which would change her life forever. Zachary would win back Creighton Manor in three days, eighteen hours and
fourteen
minutes. She wouldn’t be with Zachary anymore. She would be granted her release and he could make his life with Violet. The thought of him being with that awful woman turned her stomach. She shouldn’t care what he did with his life, but for some reason her heart ached anyway.
Zachary must have realized their relationship was hopeless. He kept his distance, making it painfully obvious he was fine with the arrangement of separate rooms. She knew she told him: Hands off. However, when did that ever stop him?
“What’s wrong with me?
” she mumbled to herself.
“
You can’t have it both ways. Either you want him or you don’t.” She didn’t know anymore. She cancelled her wedding with Jerry because of her dreams and
they
had dated for three years. She knew Jerry. Knew what he liked to have for breakfast and knew how he liked his coffee. In retrospect, she didn’t know Zachary at all and yet she contemplated forgetting about the dreams.
She liked how Zachary’s
mouth curved into a lazy smile, his sense of humor and the way he looked at her as if she were the only person in the room. If she went back to her time,
she’d even miss their bantering
…
among other things. She couldn’t deny the chemistry they shared like they were meant to be together. She shook her head. Impossible, since she technically hadn’t been born yet. She didn’t want to think about it anymore. She wanted to go home. Hopefully, the twist of fate that brought her here was to help Zachary win Creighton Manor. If this were the case, then it would soon be over.
Gillian went downstairs and into the library in search of a new book to read. She picked one off the shelf. She heard the knock at the front door and Dora answering it. She was surprised to hear Ellery’s voice. Since the misunderstanding that occurred at Lotti's, they hadn’t heard from him. Dora le
d him to the library then
went to find Zachary.
"It's good to see you again, Gillian." Ellery removed his hat and stood a safe distance away. He no doubt didn’t want to enrage Zachary again by standing too close to her.
"It's good to see you, too
.”
Gillian truly meant it. She had actually missed his teasing good nature.
"I'm hoping Zachary will feel the same way as you do."
A pang of remorse shot through her. Zachary and Ellery had been good friends
. N
ow look at them. "I'm sorry about what happened. I feel responsible. Is there anything I can do to help patch things up?”
"Don't worry about us. We have been friends for a long time. We'll be fine," he said with a shrug. “Zachary is acting irrational because he doesn’t understand his feelings for you.”
She stared at him and moistened her lips. “What do you mean?”
“He’s never wanted anything except Creighton Manor. It’s no wonder he doesn’t recognize he’s in love with you.”
She chuckled nervously and shook her head. “I don’t think—”
“He is. You can accept it or not, but the truth is there. You’re in love with him, too, if you’d care to admit it. I’ve never seen two more stubborn fools, but hey, who am I to judge?” He chuckled. “Listen to me babble when I came here baring good news. The race is on, but I suppose you already knew that."
Gillian sighed. "Yes, I did."
"Why such the long face?” He had to ask. "I thought that you would be ecstatic to prove your story to Zachary."
"Yes, but in three days, it will all be over. My life will never be the same again."
“What do you mean it won’t be the same? Is something going to happen?”
She gave him a brave smile. “It’ll be all right, Ellery.”
H
is
brows furrowed. He looked like he wanted to question her further, but Zachary walked into the room.
Zachary was glad to see his old friend, as well as embarrassed about how he had last treated him at Lotti’s. He had mulled things over and had concluded he had misinterpreted Ellery and Gillian’s embrace. Gillian had told him Ellery was only comforting her; he believed her. Ellery had the reputation of being a lady's man, but he was a true friend and he should have known better. Ellery would never show anything but honorable attentions toward his wife.
Their eyes met, neither knowing exactly how to approach the other. Zachary felt he should make the first move, since Ellery had been man enough to come to his home to face him. Without a word, he took the steps that separated them. He embraced Ellery, slapping him affectionately on the back. Ellery was happy to return the gesture of friendship.
"I’m
truly
sorry, Ellery. I was rash and should have listened to what you had to say."
"There's no need to apologize. The incident is long
forgotten."
Zachary smiled. “Stay and have a drink with me."
“I’ll take my book upstairs.
” Gillian decided to make her exit. “Goodnight, Ellery.”
“Goodnight
.”
He bowed.
Zachary tried not to cause any friction between Gillian and himself, but it seemed the harder he tried to be polite and agreeable, the farther they drifted apart. He was failing miserably at being a husband.
"Zachary, did you hear me?” Ellery asked. “You seem a million miles away.”
"I'm sorry. You were saying?”
"I said the race has begun. It started at 5pm this evening. It is said, that sparks and charcoal smoke can be seen as the two ships plow down the river."
"Oh," was all Zachary could say.
Ellery leaned back in his seat. “I have one guess why you’re preoccupied and it has nothing to do with the race or with winning Creighton Manor. You still haven't set things right with Gillian have you?"
"What are you talking about?"
He shook his head. "I should have known by the conversation I had with Gillian.”
“What conversation?”
“You have to tell her. Stop pretending you don't care about her."
"I've never pretended I didn’t. Surely, she knows how I feel. I married her when I didn’t have to. I've given her a roof over her head. I've fed and clothed her. What else could she possibly want?"
"I’m amazed my friend how ignorant you are of a woman’s heart. All those things are nice, but have you told her your feelings for her. A woman doesn't care where she lives and she’ll make do with what you can provide as long as she knows she’s loved. God bless them; women are compassionate creatures. Love to a woman is everything. Have I not taught you anything?"
Zachary looked at Ellery with a quizzical expression. "Advice about love is not what I call your specialty. You have broken more hearts than I care to count."
"See the difference between you and me, my dear boy, is that I don't want a wife."
Zachary was about to say he didn’t want a wife either, but the words died on his lips. He liked the idea of being married. It wasn't just the idea of it. It was being married to Gillian that mattered. He didn't want to lose her and yet he felt he already had. He rubbed his hands over his face, feeling the full impact of defeat.
"Tell her you love her, Zachary," Ellery pleaded with him.
Was he that transparent to everyone around? Lotti seemed to know how he felt, and now Ellery had the same opinion. Why did he have such a difficult time accepting it himself, and why didn't his feelings show clearly for Gillian to see? He knew the answer. He feared loving her. Hadn’t she told him over and over again she waited for someone in her dreams? Even if he could compete with a fantasy, there was also the possibility of her going back to her time. It was too much. He wanted her to stay with him as long as possible, but he wouldn’t allow himself to love her. If he never said the words, he could fool himself into thinking it wasn’t true. "I care deeply for Gillian, but I'm not in love with her."
Ellery shook his head and chuckled. He plopped his hat on his head ready to make his departure. "As I told Gillian earlier, you can pretend all you want, but the truth is the truth. The sooner you face up to it, the sooner you will end your torture." Ellery stood then. "I have to be going. Let's plan on meeting at the telegraph office in three days to hear the results. I know we have the outcome of the race already, but I personally would like to hear it anyway."
Zachary walked Ellery to the door. "That's fine by me. We'll see you in three days.”
***
Zachary went upstairs, pausing at Gillian's door. After a moment's hesitation, he decided to knock. Gillian opened the door just a crack.
"May I come in for a moment? I won't keep you long.”
She nodded and opened the door wide enough for him to enter. She was dressed for bed, her hair flowing free from its confines. He took note of the brush she had clutched in her hand. "Were you brushing your hair?" He knew it was a stupid question the moment he said it, for what else would she be doing with the brush.
"I was about to.”
"May I?" Zachary
asked
, as he gently took the item from her hand. Again, she nodded and sat down on the chair. He gently brushed every strand without uttering a word. Zachary met her gaze in the mirror.
He knew she wondered why he was here. T
he crinkling at the corner of her eyes and h
er creased brow gave her away
.
God, he loved her green eyes the shade of a meadow. They made him forget to breath. He cleared his throat. “I love
...
" There was that word again. For
a
blink of an eye, he imagined finishing the sentence with
I love you
, but h
is mouth wouldn’t obey. "I love
… your auburn hair the way it shimmers in the light
.”
“I don’t know what
you’re
about, Zachary, but you can’t come in here and sweet talk me and expect me to throw my arms around you.”
“That’s not—”
“I can finish brushing my hair myself.” She grabbed for the brush and for a moment he didn’t let go. They stared at each other through the mirror’s reflection. Her gaze softened and he thought she realized he wasn’t playing a game here, but then she pulled away.
He stepped back and shoved his hands into his pockets. "The race has begun." He cleared his throat. "About that bet we made, I want to—"
"A bet is a bet.” She whirled around to face him. “You can't change it this late in the game
.”
Her voice held a rough edge and she lifted her chin in defiance. He lost the courage to ask her to forget the wager, to give them a chance. There would be no negotiating with her.
“You’re right.” He nodded, his shoulders hunching forward. “I didn’t mean to bother you.” He walked to the door, his hand on the doorknob. "I've wanted
Creighton Manor for so long. I
wanted it back when my father lost it, but more so when my sister died.”
She turned in her chair. “Why?”
He looked at her. “I sent Sarah and her husband to their death. I was supposed to be on the ship that capsized, not them. I pretended, I was giving them a gift, a chance to get away without Tyler; to have time for each other like a second honeymoon or something, but the truth of the matter was that it was simply a selfish ploy. The ticket that I had was non-refundable, but I did manage to secure another one easily enough. I stayed behind because Cyrus was to be entering a big game in town and I couldn’t pass up an opportunity to make him lose to me again. So you see, I should have been on that ship. I should have been the one who died not Sarah, not Ty.
Securing
Creighton Manor is the least I can do for Tyler, since I took his parents away from him
.”
"It wasn't your fault."
"I don't want your pity, Gillian. That is not why I told you this. I just . . . I just thought you ought to know my reason why I cannot let Creighton Manor go." He didn’t wait for Gillian to comment. Instead, he left the room closing the door behind him.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
It was the day. Zachary could barely wait to hear the results of the race. The town buzzed with excitement and bets were changed every minute from the Natchez to win then to the Robert E. Lee.
As planned, Gillian, Zachary and Lotti met Ellery at the telegraph office, while Dora stayed at the house with Tyler who was sick in bed with a stomachache.
The four waited impatiently for the news to come over the wires. Lotti continually tapped her cane. Ellery flirted with every woman that passed by, while Zachary leaned against the wall running his fingers through his hair. He had done it so many times now, that it was standing on end. Gillian sat
quietly on the bench
, her hands folded
in her lap
. She waited. She prayed what she knew wouldn’t happen. She wished Zachary
would lose, for that would mean
. . .