Authors: Declan Burke
Rossi nearly jammed the roach up under his fingernail. 'Frank cowped?'
'What she says.'
'It was Madge,' Rossi fumed, 'pulled the trigger. Wasn't even my rod, it was Ray's, the Glock.'
'I'm only telling you,' Sleeps said, 'what she told me.'
'So that's,' Rossi counting them off, 'Madge, okay, she's putting me in the frame. Then Mel runs off with the coke. And now this Doyle, she's on my case too?' Rossi shook his head sadly. 'Fuckin Janes, man, they're devious bitches.'
'You're forgetting Karen.'
'Shit, yeah.'
'Except,' Sleeps pointed out, 'Johnny's fucking you too. And, it looks like, Ray.'
'Ray, to be fair,' Rossi conceded, grudging it, 'he's onside with Karen. The guy's just looking out for her, like you said.'
'Fair go. Only I got the feeling this Doyle was looking out for Ray.'
'Ray's a pro. No way he's hooked up with any cops.' Rossi sparked the doob, held the draw down. 'Here,' he said, exhaling slow, 'she flashed you her badge, right?'
Sleeps nodded. 'I said, "Aren't you out of your jurisdiction, officer?" She goes, "Put a tune to it, I'll sing along."'
'So what's she doing here?'
'Dunno. Looking the ransom money back?'
'Yeah. But is she, y'know, working freelance? Scooping the pot for herself?' Rossi handed the joint across. Sleeps waved it away. 'Fuck,' Rossi said, 'maybe Ray
is
hooked up with --'
There came a rat-a-tat-tat on the door.
'Christ,' Rossi said, 'who the fuck's that?'
'Go look see.'
'
You
go look see.'
In the end, the rat-a-tats getting louder, Sleeps went to the door. He came back out onto the balcony saying, 'It's the guy from downstairs, at reception. Has another note, except he got fifty for bringing it this far, wants another fifty to hand it over. Says it's what he was told to say.'
'You got a fifty on you?'
'Nope.'
'Fuck.' Rossi rifled his pockets, came up with twenty-three and change. 'See if that'll do it,' he said. 'He doesn't want to hand it over, get him to just read it out instead.'
Sleeps came back in with the note that looked to Rossi ripped from a posh note-pad, the paper pale blue. 'What's it say?' Rossi said.
'
My dear Rossi
,' Sleeps read. '
That money you're owed is actually your inheritance, which is worth three-quarters of a million euro. I'll be at Ali Baba's this evening for dinner at nine o'clock if you'd like to talk about it. I checked, it'll definitely be open this time. Yours faithfully
.'
Rossi boggled. 'Say what?' he whispered.
Sleeps read it out again.
'Three-quarters of a
million
?' Rossi said. 'A fuckin inheritance?'
'What it says,' Sleeps said.
'A grift,' Rossi said. 'Has to be. Some bastard setting me up.'
Sleeps thought about that. 'Well,' he said, 'it's not Doyle, she wants you gone. Same goes for Mel.'
'Karen?'
'You're the one chasing her. Why would she want a sit-down?'
'Like I said, a makey-up.'
'She came a thousand miles just to get away from you, Rossi. And now, you turn up, she has a change of heart?'
'So who? Johnny?'
'Not unless he's in cahoots with Doyle, who wants you gone.'
'Gimme that,' Rossi said. He scanned the note. 'Hey,' he said, 'there was a signature here. Right after it says, y'know, yours faithfully.'
'The guy,' Sleeps said, 'I gave him the twenty-three, he ripped the bottom of the note off and ate it. Said if we want to know who it's from, it'll cost us another twenty-seven.'
Rossi with the overwhelming urge to stab some fucker in the heart. 'So what do we do?' he said.
'We?'
'Yeah, we. What, you're bunking out on me now? Doing a Mel?'
'Not walking into a trap, Rossi, that's not bunking out. That's basic sanity.'
Rossi had a long toke wiggling a finger in his good ear. 'What're you saying?' he said.
'We wait for Ray to ring, see what he has to say. Take it from there.'
'Except Ray's hooked up with the cop.'
'On one side, yeah. On the other, Karen.'
'Plus he's got Johnny's guy.' Rossi thought about that, then frowned. 'So what's Ray want with us?'
'He had Johnny's guy,' Sleeps said, 'probably nothing. Except Ray thinks he has Johnny.'
'How come?'
'I didn't mention that?'
'Maybe you thought you mentioned it,' Rossi said, 'in some dream you had, on the nod again.'
'No personals,' Sleeps said. 'Like, how many times do we have to get into it?'
Rossi shook his head in despair. 'How's it help us,' he said, 'Ray holding Johnny's guy thinking he's Johnny?'
'Can't hurt us,' Sleeps said. He flapped lazily at another bug. 'And the way things're going, that's the only positive I can see. I mean, right now, we fell into a barrel of tits, we'd come out sucking our thumbs.'
'Look on the bright side,' Rossi groused. 'We keep going this way, you'll be back inside, doing soft time, before it gets dark again.'
'Actually,' Sleeps said, beckoning for the jay, then waving it around like a joss stick to ward off the bug, 'that's something I've been wanting to bring up.'
'Fuck, no.'
'See, the time in Croatia? I could've taken a dive then. Except the guy'd have taken you too, you with your pants down, I'm talking literally, taking a dump out in the scrub.'
'Appreciate it, yeah.'
'Then, with the cop earlier on? I could've just nutted her too, the way I did Johnny. Let her book me for common assault, some shit like that.'
'You nutted Johnny?'
'Guy was in my face, begging it. So I crunched the fucker.'
'But somehow neglected,' Rossi said, 'to Glasgow kiss the cop, she's just standing there.'
'A woman?' Sleeps shook his head. 'Anyway, things're different, man.'
'What? What's different?'
'Mel,' Sleeps confessed. 'I'm thinking I might give it a go, she ever sits still long enough I can put her a proposal, with Mel.'
'Mel? The bitch ripped us off, man, ran to Johnny Priest with the coke.'
'The girl's got her reasons.'
'There's what they call a saying, Sleeps. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, I rip your head off and shit in the hole.'
'She's got her reasons,' Sleeps said, firm.
'She's got tar and feathers in the post is what she has.'
'I told you already, no one's slapping any women around on my watch.'
'
Your
watch?'
'Ray said he'd ring,' Sleeps said. 'So we wait, see what he has to say. Maybe, he's hooked up with Doyle, they'll put us in touch with Johnny. Maybe even Karen, for a parlay.'
Rossi stuck a finger in his good ear, dug around until he came up with a decent ball of wax. He went inside to the bathroom and wiped off, came back out onto the balcony saying, 'Hey, Sleeps? Y'think maybe … shit.'
Sleeps with his head pillowed on his forearms, snoring gently. Rossi swore and reached across, plucked the joint from between Sleeps' fingers, smoked on.
The bug, persistent, finally settled on Sleeps' forehead. Rossi swore again, softly, then went back inside. Found the bug juice and brought it out, pumped it upward above Sleeps' head so the fine spray came down like a tiny-diamond rain.
Ray
The knock was a gentle tap-tap-tap but Ray on his feet and moving for the door at the second tap. He stood with his back to the wall, said: '
Vo ist das
?'
'Ray?' A whisper. 'It's me, Sparks.'
Ray let her in, locked the door. Sparks put a finger to her lips, pointed towards the balcony.
'What's up?' Ray said, angling himself so he could see back into the room.
'Doyle said to say you got the wrong guy,' Sparks said. 'That's not Johnny.'
'Shit.'
'It gets worse. He's a cop undercover, running a sting on Johnny.'
'Bollocks.'
'You get a chance, maybe during pillow-talk,' Sparks said, 'you might do me a favour and remind Doyle she's a cop too.'
'What's she saying we should do?'
'She's not saying a lot, Ray. Johnny thinks Doyle's hooked up with Niko, so she's right now looking out for Johnny's interests.'
'How'd that happen?'
'Doyle,' Sparks said, 'has a way with men when she needs to be believed.'
'Oh yeah?'
'One thing she did say, she's not handing Niko over to this Pyle guy like you're planning. They find out he's a cop …'
'Pyle wants Johnny. And we
have
Johnny.'
'Being precise about it, Doyle's the one has Johnny.'
'What's that mean?'
'It means, Ray, she's handing over Johnny to this Pyle guy so Karen skates out. Right?' Ray nodded. 'Except, when Doyle asked, just as a gesture, you wouldn't hand Karen up no-how.'
'That was different.'
'It was a
gesture
, Ray. All she was asking for was something she could hold on to. Now she has it, all nice and Johnny-shaped.'
'That's bullshit. Where is she?'
'She can't talk to you now, it's a delicate situation she's got with Johnny. And there's no way I'm watching over him for any lover's tiff. I'm still a cop.'
'You're saying she wants me to go up there and meet Pyle with no Johnny, no this guy Niko you're calling him, and no fucking
back
-up?'
'You don't have to go.'
'And just leave Karen hang out to dry?'
'What it all comes down to, I guess,' Sparks said, 'is Doyle's wondering who you're more worried about, her or Karen.'
Ray shook his head. He said, 'Say I don't go. What happens with Johnny and Niko?'
'Doyle didn't say. But if it was me, and I wasn't a cop? I'd have it on my toes, the nearest airport, flying off into the sunset. Cue the credits.'
'Only I can't go anywhere,' Ray said, 'until I get my passport back.'
'Your passport?'
'Yeah.'
'From who?'
'Karen.'
'Shit.'
'Exactly.'
'So what're you going to do?'
'You won't tell me what room Doyle's in?'
'No can do, Ray. Sorry.'
'That's okay, I can ring her. Although tell her, if it's not asking too much, I'd rather talk face-to-face.'
Leaving, Sparks turned outside the door. 'Ray?'
'What?'
'Break her heart and I break your face.'
Ray grinned. '
Some Kind of Wonderful
, right?'
'You fucking better be.'
Rossi
No way was Rossi strolling down into the port to wait for some call mightn't come, get trapped like a mole in a bucket.
'They've seen me, Sleeps.' He gestured at the suit. 'These threads, they get you noticed. That's the whole fuckin point.'
'So I'm the one gets trapped like this mole.'
'The note,' Rossi said, brandishing the pale-blue paper, 'starts off "My dear Rossi," not "My dear Rossi and anyone else needs a nosebag." You see what I'm saying.'