Cross My Heart (5 page)

She swiped at the tears that had begun running down her face. Remembering her parents and all she'd lost was never easy, but recalling the time afterward caused her stomach to churn and the old anger and resentment to flare up. She'd gone from her parents' princess to her uncle's piece of property, something he could kick out of her own home on a whim.

That thought cemented her decision. Lacey didn't
need
the money her parents had left her. After all, she'd lived without the extras for so long, she rarely thought about them now. But there was no way she wanted her bastard uncle to profit from her parents' deaths. He'd run her father's business into the ground shortly after taking over, and he'd claimed ownership of her childhood home. She wasn't about to let him have anything more.

Lacey wasn't vindictive by nature. She had a life here that she was proud of, one she'd worked hard to build and maintain, which had prompted her initial reluctance to return home with Ty. But the thought of her uncle enjoying anything more at her expense churned her stomach nearly as much as thinking about her uncle and her past.

Ty was right. She'd have to go home.

L
acey climbed out of bed and slipped on her favorite pair of slippers, a fuzzy pair that were soft enough to feel like an old friend. She headed to the kitchen for a midnight snack, tiptoeing on the way, careful not to wake Ty. Careful not to stop and watch him sleep and risk rousing warm feelings for a man she no longer knew, but one she wanted to know again.

She poured a glass of milk, pulled the Oreos out of the refrigerator and settled into the corner she jokingly called her kitchenette. In reality it was a small table at the end of the entry hall.

“Mind if I join you?” Ty asked, just as she dunked her first cookie into the cold milk.

Without waiting for a reply, he sat in the only other chair that fit around the table, Digger curling at his feet. Ty was shirtless, wearing only his partially zipped jeans, unsnapped at the waist. A low light glowed from the kitchen, casting them in shadows, but even in the darkness surrounding them, she could see enough to admire how broad his chest had become, how drop-dead sexy he was.

She ran her tongue over her suddenly dry lips. “I hope I didn't wake you.”

He shook his head. “I couldn't sleep.”

“Me neither. Obviously.” She gestured to her midnight snack.

“So you resorted to your old standby, cookies and milk?”

She slowly lowered the Oreo onto the table. “You remember that?” He'd often caught her snacking in his mother's kitchen late at night. That's how comfortable she'd been in his childhood home, she thought.

“I remember lots of things about you,” he said in a husky voice.

“Such as?” she asked, her curiosity not the only thing that he aroused.

“Such as the fact that Oreo cookies are your comfort food. You like them cold and hard from the fridge even though you're just going to dip them into milk and make them soggy. And you keep the cookie in the milk for about five seconds so it doesn't get too soft. Like this.” While speaking, he reached out, snagged a fresh cookie, dipped it into the cold milk, then held it out for her to taste.

She opened her mouth and bit down, the cookie partially crumbling, partially melting in her mouth exactly the way she liked it. Her lips brushed over his fingertip, the accidental touch causing an unexpected rush of physical sensation to sweep over her.

She laughed, keeping things light, and wiped her mouth with a napkin, but what she felt was anything but funny. Her breasts grew heavy and a pulse-pounding awareness thudded through her veins along with a heaviness between her thighs. She managed to suppress what surely would have been an orgasmic-sounding groan. Because somehow her comfort food had turned erotic and sharing memories with an old friend had become something much more sensual.

From the reciprocal yet clouded look in his eyes, she doubted that had been his intent. He was holding himself back from her now and she missed the closeness they'd shared when they were kids and they didn't think things through all that much.

There had been something special between them, something they'd never acted on, either because they'd been afraid to sever a friendship that represented the only stability in their young lives, or because neither quite knew what to do with what they were feeling. Maybe even back then, they'd subconsciously realized that sex alone wouldn't be enough.

Although Lacey had to admit, at the moment, sex sounded awfully appealing. Still, they'd never had the chance to scratch the surface of that first love, leaving them emotionally wanting more. Leaving
her
wanting more. She never really knew how Ty had felt, whether he'd really liked her or whether he just enjoyed being her hero.

At least now they were adults, capable of making grown-up choices and dealing with the consequences, she thought. Consequences that for Lacey included Ty showing up when she had an unanswered marriage proposal from another man.

“Tell me about the time after you ‘disappeared'.” Ty spoke, his voice a welcome distraction from both her thoughts and her desires.

Apparently he didn't intend to take things any further and she found herself feeling both disappointed and relieved at the same time. “Look around you. I've done okay.” More than okay, as her business proved.

But as she spoke, she realized this was the second time tonight she'd defended her small apartment and her life. For no good reason. Ty hadn't belittled who and what she'd become. She wasn't used to feeling defensive—usually, she was more than proud of all she'd accomplished.

Ty's presence reminded her of the good and the bad things in her past and forced her to face how
different
her life had turned out than what she'd envisioned as a child. It wasn't what her parents would have wanted, but given the reasons and the things she'd been through, Lacey felt sure they'd be proud, too. Which was just another reason Odd Jobs meant so much to her. It was something tangible she could point to that proved Lilly Dumont had survived.

Ty nodded. “You've done more than okay, but what I see now doesn't tell me how you got here.”

She drew a deep breath. The past was something she preferred to keep there, but as her onetime coconspirator, Ty had a right to some answers. And just maybe, talking about it would help her release some of the pain she still held inside.

She glanced down at her intertwined hands, remembering the dark night with too much ease. “I walked for about half an hour and right outside of town, I met up with your friend. The one who'd stolen Uncle Marc's car. We drove to a place far enough away where no one would recognize me. Then I took a bus to New York City.”

“Just like we planned.”

“Right.” But no one had planned beyond that. “I crashed on the bus and when we arrived, it was the next day. I had the small stash of money you and Hunter had given to me. I slept in a YWCA one night, a bus terminal another.”

He winced.

She ignored it and kept talking. “I washed dishes and I got by. Eventually I met someone who cleaned apartments. She worked for a Spanish woman who hired immigrant girls. By that time, my hands were rough enough from detergent and water, so somehow I convinced her I could handle the work. That pretty much saved my life because I'd run out of free or cheap places to sleep and it was getting harder and harder to duck the johns and pimps in the bus and train stations.”

“God, Lilly, I had no idea.”

The raw distress in his voice touched a place deep inside her. She didn't want him holding himself responsible for something he hadn't caused. He'd saved her life and she'd never forget.

He reached out and grabbed her hand. Ten years too late and yet it was exactly what she needed now.

“None of us did.” She curled her fingers around his, the warmth and strength giving her the motivation to continue. “But things got better after that. The woman who hired me—her name was Marina—let me sleep on the floor in her apartment until I found a dirt-cheap rental.”

“How bad was it?”

She hadn't wanted to upset him but he'd asked. “The place came with company. There were cockroaches on the walls.” She tried not to gag on the vivid memory. “And a drunk lived next door. He liked to wander the halls in the dead of night. The locks on the apartment door didn't work and the superintendent ignored my requests to fix it. I couldn't afford to pay for a locksmith myself so I'd drag a dresser in front of the door at night for security.”

“God,” he said again. He ran a hand over his face.

She didn't know what to say, so she remained quiet.

Finally he asked. “And what's your life like now?”

A much easier topic, she thought, and smiled. “I run a business called Odd Jobs that caters to the working man or woman,” she said with pride in her voice. “I have about fifteen employees depending on the day and their moods. We walk dogs, clean apartments, food shop, whatever the busy person needs us to do. Over time I've accumulated a loyal clientele and I've been able to increase prices. Things are going pretty well.”

He grinned. “You've made an amazing climb.”

The way she'd seen it, she had no choice but to keep going.

“I admire you, you know.”

His words took her by surprise, but warmed her at the same time. Still, she wasn't looking for his pity or admiration.

“I only did what I had to do to survive. What about you?” she asked Ty.

She wanted to know why he had dropped out of college when that had been his goal for so long. And what explained the difference in his tone when he'd spoken of his mother? The shift had been subtle, but she'd noticed it just the same. She wondered what had caused it.

“Ty? What happened to you and Hunter after I left?” she asked, curious to fill in those years.

“That's a story for another day.” He glanced down and his eyes suddenly widened, as he realized he still clasped her hand in his.

She wished he'd pull her up and into a long, lingering kiss. The kind she used to dream about when she slept in his house, his room a few feet away. And later, the kind that kept her warm at night when she thought she'd go crazy from fear and loneliness.

Tonight wasn't the first time she'd seen longing and desire in the depths of his eyes and it wasn't the first time she'd allowed herself to let the present disappear. Just like before, when they were together, little else mattered.

“It's late and we should get some sleep.” He rose from his seat, lifting his hand away from hers.

Disappointment clogged her throat even as she appreciated his hold on common sense. Obviously she had none. “You still like to call the shots, I see.”

He shrugged without apologizing for his controlling nature. “You have some big decisions to make and I'm sure sleep will help,” he said, his voice softening.

“I've already decided.” She nodded firmly, knowing she had no choice.

He raised an eyebrow. “You're coming home?”

Swallowing hard, she nodded. “But I just can't pick up and leave without settling some things here first.”

“The business?”

“Primarily. I need to get someone to run things until I get back.” Mentally, she'd already begun to make a list of people to call and things to do. “I also have neighbors that will worry. Friends and—” Alex, she thought, knowing he'd panic if she suddenly disappeared.

She knew she'd hate it if he just took off on her. They were beyond the dating stage. Way beyond. He wasn't the first man she'd been intimate with but he was the only one she truly cared for. Yes, she realized something was missing and being with Ty, she knew the sizzling sexual attraction was just one part of their problem. Or at least a part of
her
problem, Lacey thought. Alex obviously had no such issues.

He also had no idea Lacey had a past that could someday come calling, disturbing her life and rousing compelling emotions she didn't feel when she was with him, she thought, guiltily glancing at Ty.

“And what?” Ty asked, picking up on what she hadn't said.

She shook her head. “Nothing. There are just people who'd miss me and be concerned.”

He let out a slow, patient groan. “I'm not dragging you out of here kicking and screaming. Take the time you need to get your things here in order. Then if you forget anyone, you can always call from the road.” He paused, his eyes narrowing. “Unless there's someone important that you haven't mentioned?”

“Such as?” She hedged, knowing the coming conversation was going to be difficult.

He massaged his forehead with his fingers. “Boyfriend or someone you need to check in with?” His words sounded brittle as he spoke.

She drew a deep breath. “As a matter of fact, there is someone.” Guilt immediately swamped her.

“I see,” he said stiffly.

She'd been living on her own for ten years and had no reason to feel as if she'd betrayed Ty by seeing someone else. Yet looking into Ty's eyes, she did feel guilty. Terribly guilty.

“His name is Alex,” she said, forcing herself to admit the truth and hopefully keep the other man real to her in the process. “And I can't just pick up and leave without getting in touch with him.”

Ty inclined his head, the motion curt. “Well, nobody's stopping you from checking in with the important people in your life.”

She swallowed hard, the sense that she'd somehow hurt him filling her with intense pain. “Fine. We'll talk more tomorrow, okay?”

Without answering, he strode past her and headed back to the couch. He lay down and Digger jumped on top of his legs, settling in.

“Hussy,” Lacey muttered to her pet as she walked back to her room and closed the door behind her.

She wasn't comfortable with how she'd left things with Ty but then she wasn't comfortable with the state of her life these days. It was a tough thing to admit, seeing as how she prided herself on survival and doing well. But she hated feeling unsettled and her inability to commit to Alex was but one symptom.