Cross Purposes (Chronicles of Ylandre, Book 5) (30 page)

* * * *

Tristen raced into Eiren’s consultation room at the Public Hospital a few minutes past his expected arrival time, his tardiness due to a near collision between his carriage and another conveyance and the subsequent exchange of heated words between the drivers. Trying to look calmer than he felt, he presented himself to the physician, saying, “I’m sorry,
Dyhar
, I hope I’m not too late.”

Eiren stared at him, surprise sharp in his features. “Why are you here?” he demanded, hurriedly getting to his feet.

“Why am I—?” Tristen stared back in confusion. “I’m supposed to help you … the surgery today?” he stuttered.

“You held to that?” Eiren rolled his eyes and said, “Are you saying you deem that more important than a meeting with Keosqe? Because if you are, he has every reason to cast you away. Permanently.”

Tristen hastily explained, “Nay, I was going to ask him to reset our talk for another day, but a friend volunteered to take my message to him instead.” He gaped when Eiren’s words registered in full. “How do you know about our meeting?”

Coming around his desk, Eiren said, “He sent me word. To assure me he was taking my advice.”

“Your advice…?”

“You’re wasting time, Tris-
min
,” Eiren interrupted. “Get yourself over to his office forthwith. You can’t afford to miss this opportunity to make amends to him.” He shoved Tristen out the door. “Now go and win him back.”

Barely managing to collect his wits, Tristen gasped out his thanks and dashed back down the hallway to the main entrance, out to the street and on to the nearest waiting shed. If only it were possible to fly, he thought as he impatiently waited for a public carriage to come his way. He was loath to waste even one minute looking for transit to the central district. Indeed, if he did not fear Keosqe gone by then, he would have run all the way from the University gates to the Internal Affairs building.

A carriage eventually rumbled up and he hastily boarded the conveyance. As the carriage made its way southward on the main avenue, he once again considered the possible reasons for Keosqe’s desire to meet with him.

Perhaps he wanted to restart their friendship? Tristen was more than willing to settle for that if it meant getting to see him more often. Talk with him as of yore. Drink in his every word and expression.
Please almighty Veres, let it be that,
he prayed.

But what if Keosqe only wished to break with him once and for all? What if he intended to tell Tristen to never show his face to him again?

Tristen struggled to banish his apprehension and concentrated on the kindness Keosqe had shown him in both their previous encounters. And he now knew that Tristen loved him; that he had not cuckolded him; and that he yearned to make things right between them. Surely he would not be so cruel as to end what still remained of their relationship knowing how much Tristen thirsted even for a glimpse of him.

He chafed at the measured progress the carriage made, inwardly cursing the restrictions made on the public conveyances’ speed on city streets.

When he reached the Ministry building, he hurried inside, thankful when the staff allowed him to hasten up the wide marble stairs unhindered to the second-floor. He made his way down the wide main corridor at a trot, eager to meet the noble and discover the reason for his summons. And thinking that Keosqe was expecting him anyway, he fell back on his old habit of entering the latter’s chamber without knocking. Besides, Keosqe’s adjutant had not detained him when he passed his desk midway down the hallway and even smilingly motioned to him to go on. Trembling with excitement, he opened the door and stepped into the room.

Tristen stared in shock. The last thing he’d expected was to find his lover on the couch and his good friend astraddle his lap, Mirdan’s arms wrapped around Keosqe’s shoulders and their mouths all but soldered together.

Gasping in outrage, he lunged forward and, grabbing Mirdan by the shoulders, roughly yanked him off Keosqe’s lap. Without pausing to think about what he hoped to accomplish, he grasped Keosqe’s arm, pulled him to his feet and hauled him close to his side. He then glared at Mirdan.

“What is the meaning of this?” he demanded. “What in Aisen were you doing?”

Recovering from nearly falling on his arse, Mirdan looked at him and unexpectedly grinned. “Kissing him, needless to say. And I must say, he’s a wonderful kisser. Much better than you ever let on.”

“Stuff it, Mir,” Tristen angrily said. “Why did you kiss him?”

“Well, you don’t want him, do you? So why not pass him to me? I wouldn’t mind taking on so handsome a Deir at all.”

“What do you mean? I never said…”

“Nay? Then how do you explain all your complaints about him? Even
after
he threw you out.” Mirdan made a show of counting off Keosqe’s supposed faults on his fingers. “Overbearing, childish, unreasonably possessive, controlling, insatiable, annoyingly secretive, exasperating, demanding … shall I continue?”

Tristen paled then shook his head. “That was my anger that spoke,” he protested. “You knew that, Mir!” He looked desperately at Keosqe. “You have to believe me,
Dyhar
. I admit, I did vent my frustrations to him, but I never said I hated you or wanted to part from you.” He turned on Mirdan. “Why are you doing this?”

“Doing what?” Mirdan snorted. “Telling Lord Keosqe the truth?”

“Nay, I own that I said those stupid things. But why use them against me? I trusted you!”

“And you spoke against him. Time and again,” Mirdan countered. “Very insultingly, mind you, and without ever saying you actually care for him. How was I supposed to know you didn’t really mean any of it?”

Tristen gritted his teeth. “If you were a true friend, you would have clarified the matter with me first instead of making a play for my lover.”

“Clarified the matter? How very formal.” Mirdan smirked. “And don’t you mean your
former
lover?”

Tristen flinched. “I … that is…” He glanced uncertainly at Keosqe.

“Say rather estranged,” Keosqe supplied. He looked a little coolly at Mirdan. “I think you had better go. I won’t have my office become a venue for a brawl.”

Mirdan dipped his chin once. “As you wish,
Dyhar
. But my offer stands should the two of you fail to come to an accord. I really think you the comeliest Deir to ever cross my path.” He mock-saluted Tristen. “And how fickle of you, Tris. Here I thought you’d washed your hands of him and suddenly you come charging at me as if I’d forcibly taken him from you. Really, you’ve been quite impolite.”

“Shut up,” Tristen growled.

“Thus proving me right.”

“Damn you—”

Keosqe intervened. “Enough, Tris.” He glanced warningly at Mirdan. “Get out.”

Mirdan shrugged and departed. About to speak, Tristen closed his mouth at a gesture from Keosqe to keep silent.

After a few seconds, he also left the room, motioning to Tristen to stay put as he stepped outside. Tristen obeyed but he peered out the door wondering where Keosqe had gone. To his surprise, he saw Keosqe was only at his adjutant’s desk and talking to the Deir. He heard snippets of their conversation.

“…
sedyr
… just left here…”

“…did.”

“Excellent … set a watch…”

“Yes,
Dyhar
.”

When Keosqe returned, Tristen asked, “What was that all about?”

Keosqe shrugged. “A precautionary measure.”

The evasive answer had Tristen bristling in irritation, but he stopped himself from voicing his feelings. It was because he’d acted on his frustration that Keosqe had broken with him. Tristen did not care to exacerbate the situation and set him back further in his quest to gain Keosqe’s forgiveness.

“Um, what did he tell you,
Dyhar
?” he ventured. “I mean about my reason for sending him instead.”

“He said you couldn’t bear to come here in person and tell me to my face that you’d changed your mind about us,” Keosqe replied.

“Sweet Veres! That’s a bald-faced lie! I
was
going to come here myself and ask you if we could move this meeting to tomorrow. You see, I’m scheduled—
was
scheduled to assist Master Sarvan in surgery this afternoon. He let me go when I showed up,” Tristen explained when Keosqe raised an eyebrow questioningly. “But then Mirdan said he would take care of relaying my request to you so that I wouldn’t fall afoul of Master Sarvan for being late.”

Keosqe actually smiled a bit. “Eiren can be quite fearsome when he’s in a temper over someone’s incompetence or unreliability. I don’t fault you for wanting to avoid being chastened by him. So that sufficiently explains your desire to meet me another day and sending your friend to tell me so.” He paused and then quietly added, “He claimed you slept with him.”

“Nay!” Tristen shook with renewed anger. “I didn’t sleep with him! May Veres strike me down, but I did
not
! I don’t understand. What was he thinking? Wherefore his lies?”

“Wherefore indeed,” Keosqe murmured.

“Well, I’m going to ask him when next we meet. If I don’t punch him into oblivion first!” Tristen blushed when he realized Keosqe was regarding him with amusement. “So, uh, you summoned me…” he floundered. “What … what did you want to talk about?”

“What went wrong between us.”

“Oh, that.”

“Yes … that.”

Tristen licked his lips nervously. “So, where do we, er, start? Will you or I—?”

He stopped when Keosqe looked at him, a speculative gleam in his eyes. Feeling out of his depth, Tristen fidgeted with the cuffs of his sleeves while struggling to meet the noble’s steady gaze.

“Would you care to come back to the house?” Keosqe abruptly asked.

“C-come back?” Tristen was dumbfounded. “You mean … what do you mean?”

“Pack up your things.”

“Pack up … today?”

Keosqe dipped his chin in assent. “I’ll send the carriage tonight. Is that enough time?”

It took a minute or so for Tristen to reply, so shocked was he by Keosqe’s sudden turnaround.

“Yes! Definitely!” he exclaimed when he got his voice back. Feeling suddenly breathless and a little faint, Tristen sank down on the chair before the desk. “Are you sure?” he half-whispered. “You don’t mind having me around again?”

“I wouldn’t have asked if I did mind,” Keosqe pointed out. He gently added, “We still need to work this out, Tris.”

Tristen bit his lower lip and then nodded.

Some of his elation faded as reality overtook the sheer improbability of a swift and easy resolution to their rift. But the mere fact of returning to the fold in whatever role Keosqe relegated him to was more than enough to comfort him and stoke his hope that he had made progress. Considering his circumstances just a few hours ago, this was a huge leap forward. In fact, one might even call it miraculous.

Chapter 20

Trial

A fortnight after his return to the Deilen townhouse, Tristen remained unnerved and uncertain whenever he spent time alone with Keosqe. Something had changed in the weeks they were apart. Tristen could not tell if the change was in Keosqe, himself or both of them. He only knew that he was not as comfortable around his former lover as before. There was a barrier between them. A sense of issues and hard feelings left unresolved.

He was eager to make amends for his folly. But Keosqe seemed just as reluctant to let him take that step. Consequently, Tristen found himself trying to second-guess the noble in an attempt to please him or head off fresh discord in the event that he’d blundered again. That frightened him more than anything else.

Tristen could not afford to make another mistake that might lead him to lose Keosqe anew. It would be the death of him, he had come to realize. Mayhap not a physical death, but definitely an end to life as he had hoped to live it, which was with the Deir he loved with all his heart and soul.

Given his apprehensions, it was no surprise that even after so many days, he still paused at the door of the study and took a steadying breath before finally entering. And even then, he had to fight down the twin sensations of excitement and anxiety whenever he first laid eyes on Keosqe after a day apart.

Veres almighty, does he have to be so handsome?
Tristen thought as his insides did a flip-flop in reaction to the noble’s comeliness.

His response had been invariably the same day after day despite all the previous years he had lived in close proximity to the noble. Not to mention engaged in the most intimate of acts with him.

It’s because I missed him so terribly
.

Aware that Keosqe was eyeing him curiously, he flashed the latter a smile and veered toward the couch. For so long as Keosqe remained seated behind his desk, all Tristen had to do to hide his expression was turn his face slightly away or look down to shadow his features.

Keosqe nodded at him and continued with the report he’d been writing. His inattention gave Tristen the courage as well as the opportunity to look him over with unabashed admiration.

He’d been very blessed to attract so wonderful a lover and instead of cherishing him and doing all that was possible to please him, he’d done the opposite and proved himself not only an ungrateful cur but also an idiot incapable of appreciating his good fortune. He shunted the disheartening assessment aside. It would serve him little to continually bat himself over the head with his failings. He had to go forward if he were to win Keosqe’s regard anew. That meant doing his best to show that he could be depended on to love and support and always treasure him as he deserved.

Tristen patted his shirt pocket to assure himself the wristlet he’d gifted on Keosqe had not gone missing. As he felt the familiar shape through the thin fabric, he could not help recalling how he had come to select the wristlet. Looking back, he realized it was not only a pleasant memory, but also a most enjoyable one. After all, he’d learned quite a bit that day and been rewarded quite spectacularly and passionately for his efforts that night.

“What are you smiling about?”