Crown's Chance at Love (14 page)

“And you sleep without pants?”he asked quickly, his voice sounding slightly strained.

“It’s getting warmer and I couldn’t get comfortable,” I start to explain.

“Shit Sabrina. You are killing me here,” he says his voice husky, and I can almost picture him standing somewhere leaning his head back.

“Why?” I ask.  For some reason I can’t get myself to get back into bed, so I just walk around my room, finally sitting down on my oversized cream-colored recliner.

“Because I’m over two hours away and all I want to see is what you look like when you are getting ready for bed,” he admits.

“Two hours away?”

“Montecito. I had some business dinner things I had to take care of,” he explained.

“Oh,” I say reaching for my TV remote. I mute the tv, and click away at the tv, until some gossip show catches my eye and I leave it.

“What kind of business stuff did you have to take care of?” I ask.

“Networking mostly, I wish I was home so I could talk more. I didn’t want you to think I had forgotten or I didn’t want to talk.”

“Mike you’re not my boyfriend. It’s cool, “ I say trying to sound like I didn’t care.

“So what are you going to do tonight?” he asks, sounding a little sad, and I hate myself for having sounded snappy.

“I am going to get into bed and read a little. Laney told me about this book I had to download onto my Kindle, and even Emmi emailed me about it last week, so I thought I would give into peer pressure,” I say looking at my Kindle. Who was I kidding? I was addicted to reading romance novels, and this one was supposed to be hot!

“That sounds nice.”

“Boring compared to having to rub elbows with the rich and famous huh?” I say without thinking. The thoughts of me being out of his league are still there and it bugs me. I had never been the type to feel that way, yet with him… something was nagging at me, and I had no idea why.

“Sweetheart, in bed with you reading, what is most likely mommy porn, trust me babe, I would definitely want to be with you over this place.” His voice does things no book could do.

“Especially now that I know you are not wearing pants.” he adds as he chuckles and I can’t help but laugh.

“How do you know it’s mommy porn?” I ask, knowingly ignoring the fact that he admitted he wanted to be in bed with me.

“Lucky guess.”

“Whatever,” I scoff. Smiling my gaze goes to the TV and there he is. “Hey, you are on TV.”

“Shit, Sabrina…” he starts to say his voice sounding serious, but it’s too late. That feeling of dread that I couldn’t seem to shake off earlier had been for a reason. There on the television show stood Mike, looking completely sexy in a tuxedo, his arms wrapped around a tall, leggy blonde model in a skin tight designer ball gown.
They looked beautiful together
, her heart thought, then it sank lower as I watched the blonde Barbie kiss him on the cheek. Then he leaned his head towards her, whispering something into Barbie’s ear making her laugh.

The volume was off so I didn’t know what they were speaking about, not that it mattered. I looked away from the TV and closed my eyes. I was a complete idiot. Why hadn’t I listened to my gut? He was out of my league. I knew this. I knew I brought so much to the table. SHIT.

“Im such and idiot.” I whisper, realizing the words were coming out of my mouth a little too late.

“It’s not what you think,” he says, his voice thick.

“It doesnt matter what I think Mike.” I said a little too sharply, “Like I said you aren’t my boyfriend. Look I should get going. I have a long day tomorrow, good night,” I mumble quickly without thinking. I just wanted to get over the feeling of stupidity that had washed over me. Of course a guy like Mike would be out with a girl like that instead of someone like me.

“Babe, please…” I wasn’t sure what he had said, because I ended the call. He didn’t call back. I put my phone to charge on the nightstand next to me, and lied down.

Trying to feel unaffected had been so easy the past three years. I yearned to feel disconnected again. I had been an utter idiot. I was completely restless. I tried to read my book, yet I couldn’t seem to get captured by the authors words, my mind drifting to thoughts of Mike next to the leggy blonde.

I am being ridiculous
, I thought to myself; he isn’t mine. Having just met, I couldn’t understand why watching him stand next to the gorgeous blonde standing so close together, then watching him whisper into her ear had affected me so much. It had felt like something sharp had cut into me when I saw him do that.
He had just done that to me.
I thought to myself, and I had let myself think it had meant something. I let myself think that him bringing my lunch and cupcakes for my office meant something. I had stupidly let myself feel special, like I meant something to him. But now I just wondered if I was just one more on a list. If this was some kind of game he played. The feelings of hurt were so intense I closed my eyes. Something in my chest tightened and constricted, making a knot grow in my throat. I couldn’t do this. I had to let it go.
Just don’t feel Sabrina
. I thought to myself.

I looked at my kindle and decided to dive into the author’s story. After an hour I gave up trying to read and lied on my back looking at the ceiling. Watching my ceiling fan spin, letting the soft hum from the motor make me drowsy. I was finally half asleep, when my phone rang. It flashed
Mike Calling
. I sighed.

I wanted to ignore it, but I didn’t want that to seem childish and petty. He honestly had no reason to explain. I looked at the digital clock next to my phone, it was now almost one in the morning, a little over two hours since I had hung up.

I sat up on my bed and answered.

“Hey,” I say, looking down at my cheery yellow bedspread. Picking at imaginary lint, I’m not sure what to say to him.

“Come outside,” his voice is serious and commanding, and I can’t help but frown.

“What do you mean?”

“Come outside. Your backyard. Please?” he asks nicely in a hushed voice and I stand up grabbing an old pale pink robe. Even though Sean’s oversized faded maroon USC shirt is long enough to where it falls just below my knees, I still put it on.

“What are you doing Mike?” I ask into the phone, as I stop in my living room.

“Please,” his voice serious, and I sigh walking towards the backyard.

I go to the backyard and there he is standing next to my porch swing, wearing the same tuxedo he had been wearing on TV. Except by now he had taken off the black bow tie, his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and the top two buttons of the crisp white dress shirt were undone. He looked freaking hot.

I step outside, and it’s surprisingly chilly, so I tighten the robe around me.

He looks at me and smiles, but when he notices that I don’t smile back, he looks down.

“It wasn’t what it looked like,”he says looking up. His gaze is almost pleading me to believe him.

“Like you were on a date?” I ask back looking straight at him.

“Yeah.. well she was there with me, but…”

“Mike, why are you here?” I ask seriously. “I told you, it didn’t matter. You and I are getting to know one another, doesn’t mean you have to stop… whatever it is you were doing with her.”

He flinches, then his lips go into a grim thin line.

“Are you seeing anyone else?” he asks, his voice grave and serious.

“If I am or am not, is not any of your concern, we are are just getting to know one another. It’s late Mike, and like I said I have a busy day… busy week for that matter…” I start to say but one look at him I stop talking.

It’s quiet and the night is chilly and he looks angry. He stalks over to me, and my heart skips a beat. Closing the space between us, his hand goes to my cheek caressing my skin gently, his hands light and sweet. I can smell his cologne, and somehow that alone makes me want to nuzzle my face into his neck. With every touch he brings out something in me that’s been dormant since Sean died. I almost think he brings something out that had never even existed before him. My skin feels warm and my cheeks are a little flushed.

“Are you seeing anyone else?” he repeats, placing his forehead on mine, his strong big body next to mine, my mind slightly fogs. “Are you kissing other men in the middle of the day, like you kissed me today?”

She couldn’t help biting her lip as she looked into his eyes. His eyes were so pale and in the darkness of night splashed with the light from the moon, they almost seemed metallic, like silver. His eyes gave away such a tremendous amount of emotion, yet there was something in them that pulled it all away from her, not letting her be able to read him.

“No I’m not Mike,” I sigh, closing my eyes. I shiver and he holds me closer to him, his hands on my hips. His body feels warm and perfect. Too bad a breeze picked up and suddenly he smelled like expensive perfume, expensive perfume that probably belonged to the blonde Barbie on his arm just a couple of hours ago. That pretty much did the trick to clear my lust filled mind. Clearing it like a pail of ice cold water is thrown over me like a coach would get done after the Super Bowl.

I shrug him off and take a step back, and notice him frowning.

“I should get some sleep…” I start to say and he runs his fingers through his hair.

“Sabrina, can you please listen to me?” he asks, and I just stand there. Taking it at a green light to keep talking. “I had forgot about this dinner. I had asked her before you and I had even met. She had already got the dress and everything set up for the night. I didn’t even remember about it till I was on my way back to the office after I saw you at work. I swear to you, if I could have cancelled I would have. Shit honey, if I could have taken you instead I would have. We are in the middle of a big deal and I needed to make an appearance,” he explains.

“Okay.” I reply quickly. Suddenly I feel extremely tired and slightly sad as reality starts to set it.

“Okay?” He looked at her wearily.

“Mike, I told you from the start you didn’t owe me an explanation. You seriously didn’t even have to drive back tonight to explain it to me. We are just getting to know one another. You should go back to wherever you left Barbie and have fun. I’ll see you when I see you,”  I say as I turn around about to walk back into my house, when he is in front of me, his big warm hands on my shoulders.

“I don’t want her,” he growled, and I watched him as he took a deep breath as to calm his temper down, “ I don’t even like her. Honey you gotta…”

“Mike… I’m a grown up,” I start to say frustrated laced with a little bit of anger. I could feel myself start to get pissed.

He made me hot as hell with one look, yet he reeked like a different woman whom he had kissed, whom he had taken to some business thing. A business thing that if he would have sprang on me last minute, would have been impossible for me to go to. We lived in two different realities. Mine was carpools, sporting events and dance recitals and searching for football bios. His was a man of leisure, bumping elbows with the rich and famous all while holding pretty leggy models in their arms close enough to where their perfume stuck on him like white on rice.

“I’m not some stupid college-aged Barbie, who doesn’t know any better. You smell like her perfume. I saw you two kiss on TV, shit everyone did. Most likely there will be pictures on society pages and tabloids in the morning, especially if she’s famous. I don’t play games Mike, I told you that from the start for a reason. My life is filled with nothing but responsibilities. I think whatever this is, it’s not going to work.”
Shit! Had I meant that?
No, I didn’t, but there was no backtracking now. There was also no reason I should sound like such a bitch, “Don’t get me wrong, it’s been fun.”

“Why?” he asks, his huge body completely still, but I can’t look at him.

“Let’s say you had asked me to go with you tonight, in my world I can’t do things like that at the drop of a dime Mike. For me to be able to go to something like that would require time and planning. I have kids and responsibilities.” I’m trying so hard not to go off on him, but I’m frustrated and my ego’s a little bruised that he went on a date with someone else and that he was standing in front of me when he smells of someone else’s perfume.

“I know that!” he says sounding as frustrated as I do. I glance at him and take in how perfectly still he is, yet his nose is slightly flaring, almost like he is fighting with himself not to get close to me and touch me.

“We are in two completely different worlds Mike,” I say, my gaze down on my bare feet on the grass. “I’m not sure how I got so caught up with you in such a short while, but I just think it would be easier and better…”

“Don’t,” he says seriously, and at the harshness in his voice I look up at him.The way he is looking at me, I almost feel like he is looking past my eyes, almost as if he is looking at me from the inside out. No one had ever looked at me the way he is looking at me right then and there…“Don’t say it, don’t say something you will regret in the morning. Don’t push me away. There is something here between us that… that I know is different than anything I have ever experienced before. I’ll make this up to you…” he starts to plead and I want to roll my eyes.