Authors: A.M. Khalifa
“You’re insane! You can’t play with people’s emotions like that. That’s against the rules.”
“All’s fair in love and war. They fucked with our minds back then, and still want to. Fifteen years later and they’re back at it, wanting to break a perfectly good marriage.” I reached out and caressed her face.
“Hmmm. Machiavelli always turns me one…”
“All I am asking is that we just respond to their advances in a manner that encourages them, and document how they respond back. I will feed the data to our infidelity module and try to write an algorithm that may help us crack it.”
Melinda nodded. “You and I would be the control variables, since we are technically cheating as we indulge them, but also not really cheating since we both know what’s happening.”
“True, but we’re only going to indulge them as far as the
intent
to cheat, and then extrapolate anything that happens after from the overall data sets.”
As we both sipped our coffees, an elephant walked in the room and sat next to us, but neither of us dared acknowledge it. It was Melinda who caved in first.
“Shall I say it?”
“I’d prefer it, yes. I’m the one slinging a penis in this relationship, so if it comes out of my lips first, you’ll always doubt my integrity.”
“That’s sexist. You could just as well worry that I am manipulating you to get what I want.”
“Baby, we are both scientists. Just say the damn thing!”
“Fine… In order for this experiment to be viable, we need to indulge them all the way to the bedroom and really get them to cheat on each other. If possible, we also need to find out how they justified the cheating in their heads. Not what they are saying, but the truth. Safe sex would be a given of course.”
“Shit. That sounds terrible.”
“It does, doesn’t it?”
“Forget it.”
“No, it's the only way. What if...”
Melinda ran her hand through her hair. “What if we treat the sex part as a fringe benefit, and remove any guilt attached to it?”
“What do you mean?” I said.
“I don’t know about you, but that dickhead really hurt me. My entire transformation after high school was inspired by that experience.”
“Ditto.”
“When I saw him today at the class reunion, and after he approached me, I felt a little bitter, but a little flattered.”
“So did I.”
“What if the only way to get these two out of our systems is to do what we were promised back in high school, but never got?”
“That sounds good in theory, but it’s still cheating. I don’t want to cheat on you. I don't want you sleeping with another guy, least of all that numbskull.”
“This is anything
but
cheating.”
“Swinging?”
“Not even. This is redemption.”
“You just want to fuck Jake!” I said jokingly then planted a kiss on her lips.
“I do, but not any more than what you want to do to Ashley. Let’s be honest.”
"I always say the universe hates vacuums, and is constantly balancing inequalities.”
“Exactly.”
“You and I could have very well slept with Ashley and Jake back then, but we didn't. There is an imbalance of justice looming over us, and we have a chance to fix it. Help nature course correct rather than work against it.”
"Exactly. And if we were always meant to sleep with them, it shouldn't matter if it happened back then, or will happen in the future. Time is an irrelevant variable here."
The science was sound, but the potential pitfalls scared me.
“What if we sleep with them and end up loving it? Wouldn’t it end up ruining our relationship?”
“It could, but I'd be happy with that. I’d rather know now that there’s someone out there you would prefer to be with, than five years down the line.”
“You’re brutal.”
“I’m rational.”
“You’re a robot.”
“I’m your wife. The geneticist in me has a theory too, you know.”
“What theory?”
“I’m betting that stripped of the rush of doing dirty things in the dark, the sex we may end up having with these two will not be good enough to force us to question our relationship.”
“What if she makes it extra dirty for me? What if Jake is hung like a donkey and reads Fifty Shades?”
“None of that will matter. You know what will though, no matter how much we try to rise above it?”
“What?”
“Revenge.”
“That’s another thorny model. But one step at a time, Dr. Brand.”
“One step at a time indeed, Herb."
Melinda got up and sat on my lap, kissed me. For anyone caring to look, we could have been high school lovers unable to keep our hands to ourselves.