Her eyes went wide and she drew her legs up underneath her. “I’m listening.”
“Red and I had to shoot our way out of the compound. As we made it to the exit, I stepped over one of the gunmen I’d had to kill.” Dade closed his eyes, massaged his temple. He could see the gunman’s face as clearly as if he was in the room with him.
Natalie rubbed his arm. “It’s okay.”
He opened his eyes. “It wasn’t okay. The gunman was just a kid. No more than fifteen or sixteen. I killed a kid, Natalie. A child died at my hands. It doesn’t get any worse than that.”
She swiped at a tear trickling down her cheek. “You didn’t know he was a child. He had a gun and he would have killed you if you hadn’t killed him. It was self-defense.”
“Maybe it would have been better if he
had
killed me.”
“Dade!” Natalie said sharply. “Don’t
ever
say that!”
“I tried to give the kid CPR, but Red pulled me out of there. The kid was gone, but I couldn’t accept it. Taliban enforcements were converging and we escaped by the skin of our teeth. It was the second time Red rescued me.” Talking about his buddy brought a lump to his throat. “I gotta find him, Natalie. I owe him my life.”
“We
will
find him.” She squeezed Dade’s hand and he took comfort from her. “I’ll call my cousin Calvin. Reiterate how important it is that—”
He shook his head. “We have to be careful.”
“Honestly, we can trust Calvin. He’s a deputy sheriff.”
“Red’s message was clear. Trust no one.”
“You took a chance on me. We need help, Dade. We can’t do this alone.”
“Just promise me for now that you won’t tell anyone who I am or why I’m here. Please.”
“I don’t—”
“Promise.”
“All right,” she agreed. “I promise not to say anything to anybody until you give permission.”
Silence fell over the room as rays of light pushed through the curtains. The candle on the dresser barely flicked, it had burned down the wick, the scent of lemon-lime lingered in the air.
“So,” he said. “I’m betting you wish you’d gone first after all. Can’t really top that for a secret, huh?”
“My secret is the opposite of yours. It’s about hope instead of despair.”
“Hey, I could use all the hope I can get. Let’s hear it.”
She took both his hands in hers. “This might sound weird, but from the minute I laid eyes on you, I knew.”
“Knew?”
“Just one look, as the saying goes.”
“Just one look?”
“This thing between us that we felt on that very first day, the very second our eyes met, the out-of-body, out-of-this world experience that seized us both. I
know
you felt it too.”
He tightened his jaw. He couldn’t deny it, but confirming it felt so dangerous.
“It’s not about the sex,” she said. “Although it is damn fine sex.”
“It was, wasn’t it,” he said, trying to derail her. Quick! Think of something to divert her attention. If she said what he feared she was going to say there would be no denying it, no going back, no unsaying it. If he could just stop her before she said the words—
“I fell in love with you. I don’t know why it happened. I can’t explain it. Maybe there is something to the Cupid lore, but I just had to tell. I’m in love with you, Dade Vega, no matter what. Completely and unconditionally. I know this will probably freak you out, but if I’m right and you’re the one I’m supposed to be with, then it’s okay for me to say it.”
Tears shone in her eyes and she was smiling at him like he was the most wonderful person in the world.
His chest constricted and he was having trouble drawing in a deep breath.
Natalie loves me.
She
loves me. She loves
me
.
It was an impossible dream—the white picket fence, two kids, maybe three, the dog and the cat and the minivan. But he wasn’t like normal people. He never had been. He couldn’t fit in, would never fit in. No matter how much he wanted it. He would only bring her heartache in the end. He would only disappoint her.
“Natalie,” he murmured. “You barely know me.”
“I trust you, Dade. With my heart, my soul, my body, every part of me.”
Her faith snatched him up by the throat, seized him in a chokehold, and wouldn’t let go. She assumed the best of people and she wasn’t afraid to let down her guard and show her tender underbelly. She didn’t allow doubt to hamstring her. Why was her belief in him such a powerful turn-on?
Mmm, could it be because you’re too damn wary, too afraid to take a chance on love?
Love.
It was such a hard word to say, such a powerful feeling to experience.
Love.
When he looked at Natalie, the word welled up in him, silent but unrelenting.
Love.
He could see it in her eyes. Feel it throbbing from her into him. Filling him up with a wondrous glow. Making him feel whole at long last. But how could he depend on it? How could he say the word? How could he know for sure? Love was unfamiliar to him and scary in its expectations.
He didn’t know how to say it, so he showed her the only way he knew how. He reached into his pocket, and pulled out the bracelet that Red had given him. The bracelet that meant,
We’ll always be connected.
“Let me have your wrist.”
N
atalie watched Dade tie the strings of the frayed handmade bracelet around her wrist. “Red had a bracelet just like this one.”
“I know,” he said. “Red made one for both of us after we came back from Afghanistan.”
The braided yarn was soft against her skin, a sharp contrast to the cool metal of the bullet casing. She ran her index finger over the string. “This means something important to you.”
“Yeah,” he said quietly. “It means we’re connected. Always.”
Natalie looked into his dark eyes, searched his face. “Dade, this is your bracelet, your connection to Red.”
“And now,” he said, “it’s my connection to you.”
The bracelet spoke for him. He couldn’t say the words “I love you.” She understood how hard this must be for him, a cautious, practical man with a heart-wrenching childhood. A man who’d spent his life moving around because he feared settling down. Feared he couldn’t do what ordinary people did. Love at first sight was scary enough for someone willing to embrace the concept, but for a guy like Dade, it must seem impossible.
There was so much she didn’t know about this man. Common sense asked how she could possibly love a man she did not know. Natalie wished she could explain her certainty, but her feelings defied explanation. She might not know all the details about Dade’s life, but she knew him. Knew him as surely as she knew her own name.
When they made love and he looked deeply into her eyes, well, she could see clear through to his soul. He’d suffered, yes. She could see that too, but the suffering had not damaged him beyond repair. It had made him kind and empathetic, but being a man, he tried to cover it up with gruffness.
He didn’t want to appear weak, but that was his mistake. Empathy did not weaken you. It made you stronger. He put on a tough front without ever realizing how truly tough his tenderness was.
“Are you sure you want to give it to me?” she asked.
“I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life.”
Her heart quivered. She moved the bracelet around on her wrist, felt tears of joy sting her eyes. He might not be able to say it yet, but he loved her. She saw it on his face, felt it in the way his calloused hands touched her so gently. It was soon, but this was right. She had no doubts about him.
She kissed his cheek tenderly, but things didn’t stay tender. He gathered her into his arms and kissed her deeply, passionately. It was with reluctance that she sighed and finally pushed away. “I have to go. It’s Monday and I pick up the letters to Cupid every Monday and you should sneak out of the house before anyone sees you. Oh heavens, it’s five till six now. You’ve got to go.”
“Ashamed of me?” he teased.
“No, I’m just not ready for the entire world to know that we consummated our relationship.”
“Darlin’, one look at your face and the cat’s out of the bag.”
Her hand flew to her face. “What?”
“Other than the fact your lips are puffy from all the kissing and you’ve got beard rash on your chin. I’m sorry about that, I hair up fast. You’re glowing.”
“You’re pretty impressed with yourself,” she said.
“So are you.” He winked, slipped on his socks and cowboy boots, but still he lingered, his gaze on her.
“Shoo.” She motioned for him to go, even as she longed to pull him back into her bed again. She was sitting in the middle of the bed naked except for the bracelet he’d given her.
“When can we meet later?” he asked.
“Seriously? You’re that ready to go again?”
“With you, Natalie, I’m always ready, but I meant to talk strategy about finding Red.”
“I won’t be free until this afternoon.”
“This afternoon then. Two o’clock? Meet at the pond?”
“It’s a date,” she said.
He gave a deep sigh, tracked back to the bed for another kiss. “The night was too damn short.”
Then with one last look at her over his shoulder, he left her with a happy smile on his face.
Love is the strongest force in the universe.
—MILLIE GREENWOOD
A
n hour later, after Natalie had retrieved the Cupid letters, and passed them on to Aunt Carol Ann, she returned to the B&B to greet her guests as they came downstairs for breakfast.
She was humming “Cupid” under her breath and couldn’t seem to keep from smiling. She told her usual stories, passed out flyers about the town’s Fourth of July celebration events, and wished her guests a pleasant day.
She headed to the kitchen to consult with Pearl about the week’s schedule, but stopped to speak to Lars, who was sitting in the breakfast alcove with a bran muffin, a cup of coffee, and the
Alpine Gazette
Sunday crossword puzzle.
“Mornin’,” she greeted him. A lazy fly crawled on the back of a chair. Natalie waved it away. Where was the fly swatter?
Lars sat down his paper, peered at her over the rim of his reading glasses. “You look radiant.”
Natalie raised a hand to her hot cheeks. “How’s the boat coming along? Get everything worked out?”
“Yes. Production has resumed.”
“That’s good.” Natalie reached over to straighten the tablecloth that was slightly askew.
“I noticed your new boarder didn’t sleep in his room last night,” Lars said.
Oh great. Lars suspected something was going on between her and Dade. She straightened. “You keeping tabs on him?”
“Just to be safe. He is a stranger and you are a trusting soul. You think everyone means you well.”
She smiled. “You mean they don’t?”
“It’s not a pretty world outside the boundaries of Cupid.” Lars slipped off his reading glasses. “Not everyone is trustworthy.”
“I appreciate your concern.” The fly was back, trying to land on her arm. She shooed it.
“I saw Dade coming out of the main house at dawn,” Lars went on. “I couldn’t help wondering why.”
That was the downside of living in a small town. Everyone stuck their noses in your business. “Did you? He must have come in for breakfast.”
“Pearl wasn’t even up yet. I think he’s up to no good.”
The heat in Natalie’s cheeks flamed into a five-alarm blaze. Had Lars been spying on them? She fingered the bracelet at her wrist, thought of Dade and how he’d looked at her when he’d tied it to her arm, as if she was the most precious thing he’d ever seen. Her heart clutched at the memory. She loved him so much!
Lars tracked her movements. “What’s that?”
She blinked, her mind still focused on Dade and the wonderful night they’d spent together. “What?”
“What is that on your wrist?”
Natalie couldn’t stop grinning. “Dade gave it to me.”
Lars made an O with his mouth. “I see.”
“He really is a great guy.” She twirled the bracelet on her wrist, remembered when he’d tied it on her.
Without another word, Lars got up, pushed in his chair, a look of consternation on his face. “Is he? How can you know? He’s a stranger.”
“Dade is a—” Natalie bit down hard on her tongue. She was just about to tell Lars he was a former Navy SEAL. It was hard monitoring her conversation. She wasn’t accustomed to suspecting everyone of something. Was this how Dade lived his life? On a constant level of alert? That thought made her feel sad for him all the way down to her toes.
Lars frowned, rolled up his newspaper, and slammed it down hard on the table.
Natalie jumped.
“Killed that pesky fly,” Lars explained, and tossed the paper, fly and all, into the wastebasket.
D
ade crouched beside his motorcycle underneath the portico between the carriage house and Cupid’s Rest, changing the oil and thinking about what he and Natalie had learned the previous night.
Stan had given Red a ride home from Marfa on the night of June 19, the day before his buddy had sent Dade the alarming text message.
If
Stan’s account could be trusted. So what had happened from the night of the nineteenth to the afternoon of the twentieth? Today was the first of July. Red had been missing for eleven days.
He would check out the local newspapers for that date and the days immediately after the nineteenth to see if he could find some kind of clue to where Red might have gone. Happy to have a direction to pursue, he stood up, and wiped his hands on the bandana he plucked from his back pocket.
The back door of the B&B opened and Lars came out on the porch.
He raised a hand to the older man. “Morning.”
“Good morning.” Lars moved down the steps toward him.
“Looking forward to the Fourth?” Dade asked. He was lousy at small talk.
Lars’s eyes narrowed in the glare from the morning sun. “Bunch of tourists, parades and fireworks. Seen it all before.”
“There’s Pearl’s barbecue to look forward to.”
“There is that.” The gravel crunched under the older man’s feet as he stepped closer. “How about yourself?”
“Pardon?”
“Are
you
looking forward to the holiday?” Lars’s gaze tracked back to the B&B. “Since you’ve got a real reason to celebrate.”
Dade cocked his head, tucked the oil-stained bandana into the back pocket of his jeans. “What do you mean?”
Lars’s stare was sharp. “Natalie.”
The hairs on the back of Dade’s neck stood up. What had she told him?
Lars shrugged. “It’s easy to see on both your faces. Love alters a man.”
“We haven’t known each other long enough to be sticking that kind of label on things.”
“It only takes a second to fall in love,” Lars said.
Was it Dade’s imagination or was tension tugging at the Norwegian’s mouth. Was he upset that Dade and Natalie were an item? Why should he care?
“Whether you want to admit it or not, I think you’re already smitten.” Lars cracked his knuckles. “I guess you’ll be staying at the Cupid’s Rest awhile longer.”
“Depends on when Natalie’s previous boarder returns.”
“
If
Red returns.”
“Why wouldn’t he?”
“Unpredictable, that one.”
Dade weighed how to dig further without giving himself away, but before he could think of the best way to phrase his question, Lars started toward the carriage house.
C’mon. Say something. Keep him talking.
“Hey Lars.”
The older man paused, pivoted on his heel. “Yes?”
“You take the newspaper, don’t you?”
“I do, even though print news is a dying art form. Us dinosaurs have to stick together in the digital age. I subscribe to both the daily
Alpine Gazette
and Cupid’s weekly.”
“Do you save the copies?”
“I do.”
“Would you mind if I borrowed the last two weeks’ worth of issues?”
One gray eyebrow shot up on his ruddy forehead. “Why?”
Hmm. So Dade wasn’t the only suspicious one in town. He flashed a reassuring smile. “I’d just like to familiarize myself with the town and surrounding area. Since I’m going to be staying awhile.”
“Why settle for the past two weeks? Why not a year’s worth?”
“I think two weeks’ worth is enough to give the flavor of a town without information overload.”
Lars swallowed visibly. “All right. I’ll get them to you.”
“Could we go get them now?”
“Where’s the fire?”
“No fire. Just thought while my mind was on it and we’re both here. No time like the present.”
Lars looked as if he was about to refuse, but then nodded. “Let’s make it quick. I’ve got something I have to do.”
“Thanks.”
He followed Lars to the carriage house. The older man didn’t invite him into his room, just left Dade standing in the hallway while he slipped inside, mumbling, “It’s a mess in here.” And shut the door.
Fine. Dade understood about treasuring privacy.
A few minutes later the door opened and Lars handed him a stack of papers. “Let me know if you need more issues.”
“Appreciate it.”
Lars leveled him a hard stare. “You really sure you shouldn’t get on your motorcycle and ride out of here before it’s too late?”
“Why would I run out on the best thing that’s ever happened to me?”
“Because,” Lars said as he shut the door, “maybe you’re not the best thing that’s ever happened to her.”
C
hewing on the old man’s words, Dade took the papers back to his room. Was Lars right? Was he bad for Natalie? Was it stupid of him to believe that he could settle down, quit his rambling ways, and find happiness in her arms?
Someone to love.
The elusive dream that had evaded him since he was a kid. He’d honestly felt as if he didn’t deserve happiness. He was too screwed up. Too soiled and sullied, but Natalie’s innocence had transformed him. She gave him hope that he could live the dream.
Hope was such a damn dangerous thing.
Kneading his temple, he sank down on the bed and restlessly leafed through the papers, starting with June 19. He had no idea what he was looking for or even what he hoped to find. He was grasping at straws and he knew it, but what else did he have?
Most of the
Alpine Gazette
was little more than a list of births at the local hospital, the obituaries, the crossword puzzle, the TV programming grid, and readers’ favorite recipes. On the front page was an article about a Marfa artist who’d gotten a gallery showing in New York City, along with blurry color photographs of some of the artwork.
On the second page was a feature about a local vineyard that won honorable mention in some wine award. It wasn’t until the third page that he finally found some real news. The chancellor at Sul Ross announced they’d discovered several students with fake drivers’ licenses that were so professionally forged even law enforcement had difficulty telling the false identification from the real thing. The FBI and Homeland Security were investigating.
Huh. Maybe that explained why some of the kids coming into Chantilly’s had looked much younger than the stated age on their IDs. From now on, if he suspected someone wasn’t twenty-one, he was notifying law enforcement.
He went through all the papers for the past two weeks but found nothing that might have caused Red alarm. Maybe he was missing something. Then again, maybe there was nothing there.
Another dead end.
Reluctant to give up, he went through the papers again, this time paying special attention to the classifieds. Again, he found nothing that raised a red flag. Discouraged, he fisted his hands on his knees and gazed down at the back page of the last paper. An ad for Cupid Caverns caught his eye.
Need a cool respite from the Texas sun? Come to Cupid Caverns for a tranquil escape.
During a mission in Afghanistan, he and Red and some other SEALs had been surrounded by al-Qaeda and they’d been forced to hole up in a cavern for several days before they could be rescued. Staying in those dark caverns had made everyone edgy except for Red.
“I like caves,” Red confessed to Dade. “I get why Afghanis hide out in them. They make you feel safe. Like a womb.”
It hit him all at once and he could have kicked himself for not thinking about it sooner. The caverns were the perfect place to hide if you’d gone off your medication and were in the traumatic throes of PTSD delusions.
B
efore Natalie went to the community center, she stopped by the hospital to check on Aunt Delia. Her aunt was sitting up in bed, a tray of hospital food in front of her. She broke into a smile when Natalie came into the room.
“Hi, are you here all by yourself?”
“I sent everyone home. People need to get some rest. They’ve fussed over me enough.” Delia poked at reconstituted eggs with her fork. “Damn, I wish I had a Denver omelet from La Hacienda Grill.”
“I’ll see if I can smuggle one up for you tomorrow.”
“Watch out for Nurse Ratched out there. She’s a pistol and she’s gunning for me. Keeps carrying on about my cholesterol. I don’t care. I’m seventy-seven years old. If I want a pint of Butter Brickle ice cream when I watch
Dancing with the Stars
, I’m gonna have it. I was eating Butter Brickle before she was born.”
“She’s just trying to do her job,” Natalie placated.
“Hmph.” Aunt Delia sniffed. “Never mind her. How’d it go with the hunk?”
Natalie couldn’t stop a grin from spreading across her face. “It went.”
“You naughty girl you.” Aunt Delia’s eyes twinkled. “At least I hope you were naughty.”
Natalie cast a glance over her shoulder, lowered her voice. “Very naughty.”
“Oh goody.” Aunt Delia clapped her hands. “It’s about time you had some fun.”
“It’s more than that.”
“I suspected as much. He’s The One, isn’t he?”
Natalie nodded. “How did you know?”
“I’ve seen it happen enough times. Happened to me too.”
“It’s an unbelievable feeling.”
“You’re floating on clouds.” Delia smiled.
“Yes.”
“The sky is bluer, food tastes better—”
“Yes, yes.”
“You ache deep down inside when you’re not with him.”
“That’s it.”
“I’m so happy for you, child. You deserve this more than anyone I know.”
“But, well, he can’t tell me he loves me. I told him, but he didn’t say it back.”
“It’s hard for some men to say those words. Doesn’t mean they don’t feel it.”
“He gave me this.” She held up her wrist, showed off the bracelet like it was the Hope Diamond.
Delia inspected it. “Bullet casing bracelet, huh? Now that’s unique.”
“It has an emotional significance attached.”
“I assumed. Honey, are those tears in your eyes?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Here. Take a tissue.”
Natalie plucked a tissue from the box on Aunt Delia’s over-the-bed table.
“Happy tears are good, baby.” Delia patted her hand. “You gonna break the news to the girls?”
“Not yet.”
“I gotcha. You want to keep this special time just between the two of you for now.”
“And you.” She smiled.
“It’s gonna be kinda hard keeping this on the down low as Zoey would say, considering you’re glowing brighter than the sun. All I’ve got to say is that he better be good enough for you.”
“Oh, Auntie, there’s nobody better.”