‘Gramps, Gran, there’s something I need to tell you. It’s about my job. I mean, the job I used to have. I haven’t been entirely honest with you about that.’
*
They took it surprisingly well, all things considered. Her gran cried a little, but Evie guessed that was partly due to being wrung out emotionally from her row with Frank. Once Evie had finished her explanation, finally filling them in on her true reasons for leaving Lee, Lee and Meredith, Mavis put down the tea towel she’d been wringing in her wrinkled hands and gave Evie a hug.
‘Thanks for telling us the truth, lovely,’ she said with a brave smile. ‘It can’t have been easy.’
‘Don’t be nice to me,’ Evie begged. ‘I feel terrible enough as it is.’
Frank patted her on the back. ‘Sounds like you’ve suffered enough already. Can’t have been easy having all our expectations pinned on you. Although what we expected you to do I’m not sure. No matter what your profession, you can’t work miracles.’
‘I should have said something that very first day. After the meeting at the community centre, when everyone was asking my opinion about what would happen next. I just …’ She sighed and lifted her shoulders, letting them drop as her posture slumped even more. ‘It was nice, just for once, to feel important. To feel that people cared what I thought. And I wanted to help. I needed to help, to be useful.’
‘You were always like that,’ Mavis said. ‘You’ve always had this thing about saving people.’
‘A rescuer complex. Yes, I know. I dated a psychology student once. He told me all about it.’
‘I suppose it was because of your mum.’
Evie looked up. ‘What do you mean?’
‘She was a right old mess after your dad ran off. We were no use to her, not really. We could help with the practical stuff, childcare and that sort of thing. But we couldn’t mend her broken heart. And then you grew up to be so loving, so strong, and I always figured you were trying to right the wrong. To rescue everyone because the one person you couldn’t rescue was your own mother.’
Evie’s mouth had dropped open, and Frank was also regarding Mavis with astonishment. She picked up the tea towel and began wiping last night’s dishes. After she’d dried two plates and stacked them neatly in the cupboard she turned back to Evie and Frank. ‘What?’ she said. ‘Why are you looking at me like that?’
Frank humphed and shook his head again. ‘You are an amazing woman,’ he told her, and then he planted a kiss on her cheek. Mavis pinked up with pleasure and threw her arms around his waist. She peeked around his back and mouthed to Evie, ‘What did I do?’
Evie grinned and blew her a kiss. ‘I’ve got to go out for a while,’ she said. ‘Gramps is right, gran. You are amazing.’
*
Evie ran back upstairs to grab her phone and a jumper. The sun was shining on Cupid’s Way, but it was still too early in the year for it to have any real heat. Outside, the gardens smelled of freshly dug earth and spring flowers. The lawn over by the allotment was a carpet of yellow daffodils, and the blossom on the apple trees was fluffy like cotton wool. It would be Easter soon, but the thought of a long bank holiday weekend held no special excitement for Evie – every day was a holiday for her at the moment. As she crossed the gardens and left via the north gate she pushed thoughts of her lack of a job out of her mind, along with thoughts of Cupid’s Way’s immediate future. Instead she focused on the job in hand.
The dial out rang differently on her mobile. Evie did a belated calculation and realised that, at four hours behind, the time in Canada right now would be just coming up to seven o’clock in the morning. She bit her lip and held the phone to her ear. It rang out, over and over. What would her mum and Toby be doing right now? Then she shook her head. Scratch that – she had no desire to go there in her imagination. Better to think of her mum cooking breakfast, or maybe walking their four dogs.
Maybe one day Evie would finally visit and see those dogs for herself.
Trying to rescue everyone else because the one person you couldn’t rescue was your own mother. Evie gazed up at the washed-out sky and opened her eyes wide to blink back the tears. Even the psychology student hadn’t figured all that out. But he was a bit of an idiot, truth be told.
‘Hello?’
Evie smiled down the line. Her mother’s voice was as clear as the shiny outline of McAllisters against the backdrop of blue above.
‘Hi, Mum,’ she said. ‘I’m just calling to tell you that I love you.’
Chapter 24
Evie was in her room, sitting by the window browsing job sites on her tablet, when she heard the ringing of the doorbell. She ignored it and carried on searching. On the dressing table lay the letter from English Heritage, face down. Evie tapped her teeth with her pen as she read the description on the screen in front of her. The advert demanded a “competent all-rounder with wide-ranging experience and a first-class degree from a red-brick university”. In return they were offering a salary Evie thought more appropriate for a sixth-form leaver on work experience. She sighed and clicked on the next ad. What was the point? she wondered for the hundredth time. Why give up one job you hate only to find another that was equally dissatisfying? She tried to recall the passion that had fired her up to make that bold move. Hadn’t it had something to do with wanting to make a difference?
She looked at the letter on the dressing table again and let out another heavy sigh.
‘Visitor. Mind you lock up your valuables.’ Frank’s voice carried up the stairs, laden with sarcasm. Evie pushed back her chair and stuck her head out of the door just as Zac mounted the top step. He wore a hangdog expression and a pair of faded blue jeans. His T-shirt was so white it almost hurt her eyes. Suddenly Evie was ridiculously pleased to see him. She grabbed him by the arm and all but yanked him into her room.
‘He’s got ten minutes and then his backside is out the door,’ Frank shouted. Evie rolled her eyes and pointed Zac to the chair she’d just vacated. She sat on the bed.
‘How’s it going?’ she asked him. ‘You’re still here, then?’
Zac was regarding her with astonished eyes. ‘You’re talking to me? Like, actually talking to me without shouting or wanting to hit me?’
She smiled just a little. ‘Zac, believe it or not, you are not the centre of the universe. There are other things going on right now, and who you’re related to, or whether or not your little charade contributed to this sorry mess, is neither here nor there.’
‘I wish you’d tell that lot,’ he said, waving his arm towards the window. ‘I’m still expecting a lynching mob any minute. They’re all crazy, you know.’
‘I think the local hardware store have sold out of pitch forks,’ she told him. ‘Actually, the local hardware store closed down years ago. I guess they could go to Homebase instead. They could grab a couple of sledgehammers while they’re there,’ she added. ‘Get to work on the demolition. Save your uncle a job.’
Zac sighed and dropped his head into his hands. ‘You’re still pissed off with me. I thought it was too good to be true.’
‘I’m not,’ she said. ‘Not really. I do believe you did it with the best of intentions.’
Just like I lied for the best intentions, she thought. She didn’t feel in any position to sit in judgment. She looked out of the window and watched a bird swoop down to the top of one of the apple trees. How long until those trees fell under the vicious teeth of the bulldozers? How long before the exact spot where she was sitting became either Roy McAllister’s new office or a parking space for the medical centre. It was such a waste. That was the thing that really got to her the most – the waste of it all. The years of history, the layers and layers of people’s lives, just gone in an instant. Turned to dust. And for what? To line the developers’ pockets. To feed a group of people who were hungry for progress at any cost.
‘So,’ Zac was saying, ‘I’ll be off this afternoon for good. I’m going up to Scotland. But before I went I wanted to–’
‘The letter came,’ Evie said. ‘The decision from English Heritage.’ She gestured towards the sheet of paper on the dressing table.
‘Can I see?’ Zac said, tentatively reaching out his hand. Evie nodded. He picked up the letter and read it. She watched his eyes move across the page, and watched his face drain of colour.
He said, ‘Oh,’ and Evie nodded again. Suddenly her eyes blurred and she turned away. The tears were a surprise. So far she’d felt nothing other than a flat numbness. She’d read the letter, laid it down, then carried on with her list of tasks as though nothing out of the ordinary had happened.
‘It’s a pretty categorical refusal,’ Zac said, his voice soft.
‘It certainly is.’ Evie took it out of his hands and folded it back into the brown envelope. She opened a drawer in the dresser and threw the envelope inside.
‘Do Frank and Mavis know?’
She shook her head. ‘I’ll tell them later. They’ve got enough on their plates right now.’
Zac pulled a tissue out of the box on the windowsill and handed it to her. She was grateful that he didn’t touch her, didn’t try to comfort her with a well-meaning hug. He sat with his hands together between his knees, his head hanging low, as if praying. Evie dried her eyes and dropped the tissue into the bin. She looked up and gave him a wan smile.
‘So, you were saying something about Scotland?’
Zac smiled back and rubbed his hands together. ‘My mum lives there. I’m going to stay with her for a while.’
‘Did she know about the little charade you were running here? About her part in it?’
‘Hell, no. She’d kill me if she found out.’
‘And Roy McAllister is?’
‘Her brother,’ Zac said with a rueful smile. ‘She’d kill him too.’
‘Maybe your mother could come visit for a while,’ Evie said, and Zac laughed. Like an echo, laughter rang out across the gardens outside her window. ‘What is going on out there, anyway?’ she said, getting up and peering out. ‘I’ve been hearing odd things all morning.’
‘They’re up to something, but I don’t even want to think about what it might be. Like I said, they’re a pretty crazy lot.’ He regarded her carefully, as though weighing up his words. ‘Evie, tell me to mind my own beeswax if you want to–’
‘Mind your own,’ she said instantly. He pulled a face, but carried on regardless.
‘For what it’s worth, I don’t think you should give up the fight.’
‘You’re the one who’s crazy, Zac. There is no fight. It’s already over. Cupid’s Way has lost – is lost – and now it’s just a matter of waiting for the big boys to slug it out and declare which one is the winner.’
He shrugged. ‘I don’t know. Maybe.’ He tipped his head to the window as the sound of laughter drifted up again. ‘That lot don’t seem to be feeling as negative as you.’
‘They haven’t heard the latest, though, have they?’ Evie said. ‘And in a minute I’m going to have to go out and break the news. Our last best hope is finished.’ Her heart sank at the thought of it.
She saw Zac to the front door, with Frank glowering behind them. Zac touched her hand as he stepped into the gardens. ‘I wish things could have been different, Evie,’ he said, twisting his hands. ‘Between us, I mean. I really had started to care about you lot. But especially you. I’m sorry I let you down.’
She let him hold her hand briefly, unable to think of a single thing to say.
‘The worst of it is seeing you so downhearted. I really wish there was something I could do.’
‘You could get the hell off my doorstep,’ Frank shouted from inside. Evie grimaced and shook her head.
‘It’s okay, Zac. You can go to Scotland with a clear conscience. Whatever happens here, it’s not your fault.’
He nodded and let go of her hand. ‘Bob Peacock’s threatened to tie me to his horse and drag me all around Bristol if I’m not gone by lunchtime.’
‘I’ll be there with the rope,’ Frank said. Evie rolled her eyes and called over her shoulder for her granddad to shut up.
‘You’d better go,’ she said, and she watched Zac skulk away along the garden’s perimeter, waving one last time when he reached the gate. As she turned to go back inside, she caught a glimpse of Sarah and Tim, standing over by the cherry blossom tree. Sarah was climbing up a set of stepladders, hanging what looked like bunting from the tree’s lower branches. Evie shook her head in confusion, and started to walk towards them. She took two steps, then stopped. What did she care what Sarah and Tim were up to? It was none of her business anymore. She was done with rescuing people, with sticking her nose in and trying to make everything better. From now on the only person’s life she would be rescuing was her own. It really was about time.
Chapter 25
For the next two days, Evie watched with increasing confusion while the residents of Cupid’s Way indulged in the oddest behaviour she could imagine. She’d been right about the bunting, which was now strewn from the cherry blossom tree all the way down to Stig’s house and back up again to the allotment. Any time she ventured outside the house, in search of someone to talk to or a bit of a distraction, everyone seemed to melt away. She cornered Cissy on Wednesday morning, over by the tiny greenhouse they’d erected for the tomatoes. Evie found it both incredible and depressing that they were still working on a crop that might well be buried under mounds of rubble before the summer was out.
For once, Cissy didn’t have Pip in tow. ‘He’s gone into town,’ she said when Evie enquired after him, ‘to get some more sig– erm, to get some supplies.’
Evie narrowed her eyes. Cissy and Pip always shopped locally – it was almost a religion with them. If they couldn’t grow it themselves they would trade, swap or borrow from the odd little pockets of friends they’d made in the surrounding estates, and for everything else they walked to the last remaining independent supermarket at the top of Bow Hill. She shrugged and followed Cissy along the cobbled path towards the Peacock enclave.
‘What’s all the bunting for?’ she said. ‘Have I forgotten someone’s birthday?’
Cissy smiled, but didn’t answer. She pointed to the roof above Tim’s house. ‘Look, I’m sure that’s a kestrel. You don’t often see birds of prey in this area anymore.’
Evie shielded her eyes from the sun. It didn’t look much like a kestrel to her.