Cut Too Deep (44 page)

“I was watching you sleep.”

The pain in his voice was gut wrenching. She didn’t want him to feel like he couldn’t leave her alone.

“I’m not going to kill myself!” Her words came out hoarse. Hadley had cotton-mouth from the medication and found it hard to swallow. Miller handed her a glass of water from the nightstand. She took a drink and set it down. “I’m sorry.”

“I wasn’t sitting here because I thought you might try to end your life, although the fact you brought it up concerns me. I was watching you sleep because I love you, and I know how much you’re hurting. I couldn’t stand the thought of you being alone when you woke up and reality rained down on you.”

Hadley couldn’t comprehend how she’d been lucky enough to have found Miller, or who decided she deserved his love.

“I’m glad you were here. I’m still a little shocked.”

She slid over on the bed, making room for him. Miller eased in next to her. She put her head on his firm chest and said, “Can you hold me, please? Remind me you’re here and you’re not leaving.”

Miller wrapped Hadley tightly in his embrace and kissed her head. “I’m not going anywhere. Nothing changed for me last night.”

“I know that, but I want to be close to you for a few minutes.”

“I hired Sophia Harper to represent you.”

Hadley recognized the name, but was confused. “I didn’t do anything wrong. Why do I need and attorney?”

“To battle the press and whoever Duwatski hires for an attorney. It might get ugly. You’ll need counsel and she’s the best in this area.”

“Thank you for thinking of it.” Hadley sighed. Having him look out for her was easy.

“I also made plans for us to get away for a couple of days. The arrangements are set. All you have to do is shower and we can leave.”

Getting away, only the two of them, was exactly what she needed. She titled her head up.

“Do you have any idea how much I love you?”

Miller shrugged. “A smidge.”

It was infinitely more than a smidge.

An hour later, they were ready to leave for their trip. Hadley turned on her cell phone to several missed text from Mac.

Mac: Is everything okay? You left without saying goodbye.

Mac: I’m freaking out! Call me.

Mac: I know the guy on the news was your guardian. You can talk to me.

Mac: You’re not at work. Please let me know you’re okay.

Hadley saw Mac’s reaction at Meadowbrook and knew he’d pieced everything together. She meant to send him a text on the way home, but forgot all about it.

Hadley: I’m sorry. I should have said goodbye. Saw a person from my past that upset me, and I had to leave. You’re correct, Duwatski was my guardian and I turned him in. Miller and I are going away for a couple of days. I’ll call you when we get back and explain everything.

His reply was instant.

Mac: I’m glad you’re okay. Stay safe. I love you, girly. I’m always here for you. Don’t forget that. xo Mac

Hadley loved her friend, too. She considered texting back and asking how far he took things with Adele, but Miller interrupted her when he entered the bedroom and asked if she was ready to go.

Music played quietly in the background of Hadley’s thoughts for most of the drive. After close to three hours, Miller turned onto a narrow opening in the trees. The driveway stretched almost a mile uphill before the home came into view.

The house itself was gorgeous with cedar wood siding, stonework supports, and wrap around porches on two levels. Years of moss build-up between the bricks added character to the stone wall that extended from the house in both directions. It was the surroundings that made the home truly spectacular. Nestled in the middle of the Catskills Mountains, surrounded by trees, rolling hills, and a pond that curved around the back of the home. There were no visible neighbors, the rural home completely secluded, sealed off from civilization. Perfect.

Miller removed their bags from the trunk while Hadley took in the breathtaking beauty around her. She heard rushing water from a nearby stream and birds singing in the trees. The sun glistened on the surface of the pond. The air was humid, like the city, but clean, refreshing. Unlike New York, the air didn’t smell of melting garbage, sewer, and exhaust. It was heaven and miles from her troubles.

“Do you like it?” Miller asked softly.

Hadley nodded and followed Miller up the stairs and into the house. The inside of the house was immaculate and nearly as beautiful as the outside. Miller told her to make herself at home while he put their things away upstairs.

Hadley explored the home in awe. In the center, a staircase zigzagged three levels. Deep cedar warmed the walls and floors. The rooms were wide open and furnished modern, but masculine. Large windows filled the rooms with natural sunlight. There were two stone fireplaces in rooms on opposite sides of the bottom level. The large kitchen with stainless steel appliances and Italian tiles. In the bathroom she found a sunken tub and a large shower with multiple shower heads.

Hadley took the steps downstairs to the lower level, laughing when she noticed another kitchen with two large ovens. It still baffled her that his family required a kitchen for cooking and another for entertaining. The downstairs contained a room for laundry and another bathroom. She wandered the hall, discovering a wine cellar much like the one at Miller’s parents’, before taking the stairs all the way to the upper level.

The third floor was mostly bedrooms. When she entered the master suite, she spotted another stone fireplace on the wall and one outside on the large deck.

Miller came out of the walk in closet, greeting her with an enticing smile.

“What do you think?”

“It’s gorgeous. Thank you for bringing me here.”

“You can thank Otto when we get back. This is his summer home and typically filled with his friends, who spend most of the summer here, partying and fly fishing.”

Otto’s summer home?
She thought
. It must be nice to be a Lorino.

“Oh, I hope we didn’t ruin Otto’s plans.”

“We didn’t. School starts up next week. He didn’t have plans to return until winter break for ski season. We can go for a hike later. There are some beautiful waterfalls in the hills that flow into a swimming pond.”

“Did you pack my swimsuit?”

Miller winked, his dimple showing. “I didn’t think you needed one.” Hadley blushed. “Why don’t we go down and get a bite to eat? You must be starving. You haven’t eaten since breakfast yesterday.”

Hadley agreed, although she didn’t feel hungry.

Miller fixed a plate of cheese, deli meats, and crackers. He poured two glasses of red wine and handed her one. The wine she wanted to keep her tormenting thoughts away, but the food was still unappealing.

Miller took a sip from his glass and stared at her with concern. “Are you ready to talk about it?”

“Don’t do that. You sound like Dr. LeClair.” Hadley swirled her wine around in the glass, watching the way the deep red stained the sides. “Oh, shit! Dr. LeClair. I have an appointment tonight.” For regression therapy she no longer needed. “I have to call him.”

Hadley started to get up but Miller put a hand on her thigh to stop her. “That won’t be necessary. He knows you’re away.”

Hadley narrowed her eyes, anger vaguely bristling her skin. “You called my doctor?”

“Not to invade your privacy, I swear.” Hadley relaxed slightly. “I found the bottle of pills you took on the bed. There were four missing, and I was worried. I know Dr. LeClair from my college days. He taught a course I took my first year in med-school. He took my call in the strictest of confidence and assured me that if you took all four of the pills, you would be fine.”

That explained how Miller knew Dr. LeClair’s qualifications. She’d forgotten to ask before. She frowned and said, “I didn’t mean to scare you. I wanted to knock myself out for the night, and I only took two. Did you tell him what happened?”

“Yes. I also confessed my part in your father’s death and the parts of that night you forgot. He was surprised.” Miller took her hand. “He listened, but maintained stout professionalism, offering nothing about the things the two of you discuss. This getaway was his idea.”

“It was?”

“He thought it would be good for you to have some quiet time to reflect. He wanted me to remind you that while the news was undoubtedly painful, you have your answers and can put your past to rest. I made an appointment for you to see him when we get back, and he offered to see me with you, if you want.”

“Do you want to?”

“I’m not sure. The thoughts I have about the things I want to do to Duwatski scare me a bit.”

“He’s not worth the effort.”

“The things I’m considering would be well worth it.”

“Don’t. For me. Please.”

Hadley didn’t like the thought of Miller stooping to the same despicable levels of her former guardian.

“It takes every ounce of strength I have not to. Don sent the information for the websites selling the videos this morning. They should be down in a matter of hours.”

Hadley felt sick, wondering if Miller had watched the videos, if that’s why he seemed more geared for revenge than he was before.

“Did you watch them?” Her voice was small.

The vein in Miller’s temple throbbed. When the e-mail first arrived, he considered it. The information in his inbox had been enough to send Miller into a blind rage. He didn’t watch the videos, knowing if he did, even her love wouldn’t stop him from finding Duwatski.

“If I did, he’d be dead. I’m positive of that.”

“Please, don’t ever watch them. Promise me,” Hadley begged.

The thought of Miller treating her differently petrified her. If he ever saw the videos, he would never make love to her the same way again, if at all.

“You have nothing to worry about. I won’t watch them. I can’t.”

Hadley exhaled in relief.

“Thank you.” The tension bothered her and she changed the subject. “Now, how about that hike?”

Miller smiled, pinched the bottom of her chin, and kissed her delicately, but for several heart pounding minutes. He reluctantly pulled away, or they would be skipping the hike, and he wanted to take her swimming.

M
iller and Hadley held hands as they tramped through the maze of pine trees behind the house. Twigs snapped beneath their feet, mingling with the sounds of their voices. Miller helped her balance on the small boulders they used to cross the creek. Before long, they reached a large clearing with two-foot tall grass. Through the center, a path had been carved out by Otto and his friends. Miller guided her through. Hadley’s gaze glued to three waterfalls racing down the mountain and splashing into the pond below. The sun reflecting from behind them glistened on the water’s surface. It was an act of nature you’d see in a calendar, but in front of her to appreciate.

Miller smiled devilishly.

“You ready for a swim.”

“You’re serious?”

“Quite. The sun shines on this spot all day long. The water’s warm.”

The temperature of the water was the least of her concerns. Much to her surprise, the thought of skinny dipping excited her. Miller was already stripping his clothes by the time she talked herself into it. Hadley had barely removed her shoes and socks, and Miller was stripped bare. His naked form dove right in and disappeared under the water.

When his head popped up, his smile delighted Hadley. “Come on, slow poke.”

Hadley finished undressing and walked tentatively to the water’s edge. She dipped a toe in the crystal clear water. It felt like warm bathwater.  She didn’t feel awkward about being naked in front of him, until she lifted her head to find his eyes roaming over her from head to toe. Covering herself would be ridiculous, and there was nowhere to hide. She inhaled a deep breath before launching forward and diving into the water.

Miller’s arms were around her waist when she surfaced. Hadley hugged him around the neck, drawing their naked bodies together, hers alive with excitement. Miller pressed his lips softly to hers, smiling when she opened immediately. The kiss was a reassurance for Miller they were still whole. When Miller pulled away, he kissed the tip of her nose, causing her to giggle. He adored the sound of pure happiness coming from Hadley as the water lapped against their shoulders.