Damage Control (Valiant Knox) (5 page)

Before he got to the laundry, he could hear the periodic puffing noise of the towels coming out of the clean chute. He stepped in, his gaze finding Mia—
goddamn it
Recruit Wolfe—leaning against the wall on the dirty side, feeding dirty towels into the yawning mouth of the wash system.

Stay on the ship long enough and a soldier got to learn pretty quickly that the container of dirty towels
never
emptied. Sure, a person could come close, but then a new influx of soldiers in the gym would stack it right back up again.

But now, the clean container was the fuller of the two, though it looked like she’d given up on folding a fair while ago.

“Stand down, recruit.”

She didn’t react, so he walked farther into the room. “You’ve done more than enough, Recruit Wolfe. Time to pack it in.”

When she still didn’t respond to him, he walked over and touched her shoulder. She dropped the towel she’d been holding and spun to face him.

Her dark eyes were glazed with exhaustion and she leaned back against the wall behind her, as though she couldn’t even hold herself upright.

“Sorry, sir, I didn’t manage to get through all the towels—” She listed to the side and he caught her before she crashed into the container.

Hell, he should have come down here himself and made sure she’d been released from duty. But he hadn’t had a reason to suspect damn Benton wouldn’t see his order through.

“Okay, let’s get some food into you.” He tugged her arm and led her into the locker room, where he urged her to sit on one of the benches. In the wall by the door was a vending machine full of protein bars and energy drinks. He ordered a couple of each, since dinner at messdeck would be over by now. He could have taken her down to commerce since there were places serving food twenty-four-seven on that level, but she looked too washed out for that.

By the time he brought the snacks over, she seemed a bit sharper, her dark gaze staring up at him warily. Her looking at him like he was the devil incarnate made his chest ache, even though it was exactly what he’d set out to achieve. Usually he enjoyed putting the fear of god into the newbies, but doing so to Recruit Wolfe sat uncomfortably on his shoulders for some reason.

“I’m not about to inflict another punishment on you, so quit looking at me like that.” He ripped the packaging off one of the protein bars and handed it over to her.

She tilted her head down as she started eating, the soft light catching deep gold highlights in her hair, which had mostly unraveled from the knot she’d had it tied into. Wisps fell around her face and neck, making her look too damn touchable.

He tightened his hold on the energy drink.
Need to get laid, not lust inappropriately after new recruits.
Yet the thought of hitting the mattress with another woman didn’t do anything for him. Annoyed at himself, he pushed all sex-related thoughts from his mind and started running training drills through his head.

Mia finished the protein bar, and he handed her the energy drink.

“Thanks,” she murmured, her voice a little on the husky side.

“I’m sorry.”

Her head snapped up, dark gaze clashing with his. He wasn’t sure who was more surprised at the words. He sure as hell couldn’t remember the last time he’d apologized to a recruit for anything. And this really didn’t run with his plan of alienating her.

“You weren’t meant to be down here this long. The messenger who was supposed to relieve you of duty never made it. I shot him.”

Her eyes widened and a grin tightened his mouth, but he swallowed over the urge.

“That was a joke. But thanks to Lieutenant Brenner, he’ll be wishing he’d been lucky enough to pull laundry duty.”

“Oh.” She took a small sip of the energy drink, her gaze slipping off to the side.

“About what happened yesterday in the medbay…” Jesus, did he really want to have this conversation? But avoiding it wouldn’t help anything. He needed to know they understood each other. “I was inappropriate. You’re aware we have to pretend like nothing happened, right?”

“I know. I should have said something before things went that far. It’s not your fault. You didn’t know I had been assigned to you.”

Frustration pulsed through him. “Well it’s damned well not your fault either. I shouldn’t have acted so improperly, no matter who you are.”

She speared him with a direct gaze. “It’s not improper to want to talk to someone every now and then, to let out stuff that’s been bottled up for too long.”

His chest tightened and he clenched his fists. Why did she have to be so understanding?

She sighed and half turned away from him. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. It doesn’t help anything. Sure, let’s get on with pretending it never happened.”

He locked his jaw against replying. Because deep down, he didn’t
want
to pretend like it had never happened. However, circumstance dictated they do exactly that before he found himself in deeper trouble… If he wasn’t already.

The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her, and he had a lot to answer for here. But personal feelings didn’t count when it came to duty, and duty always came first.

Chapter Five

S
itting so close to Captain Alphin was unsettling in too many ways for her tired mind to catalog. He was an intimidating man; there was no doubt about it. Even though he’d been nothing but friendly with her since he’d come to relieve her of laundry duty, there was a hardness to his gaze that was common to many seasoned soldiers who’d seen death in all its terrible forms.

But the cool stare seemed in direct contrast to the glimpses of heartfelt honesty she’d seen from him in the medbay yesterday, and just now when he’d apologized for another recruit’s mistake. She didn’t want to feel any of these things for him, didn’t want to wonder what else might lie under that tough, hard attitude. And she definitely wished that the feel of his large, warm, slightly roughened thumb sliding over the inside of her palm hadn’t imprinted on her memory like a bright flash illuminating an otherwise-dull room.

It had been the briefest of touches, hardly lasting more than a split second and probably not even done on purpose. But the sensation had rippled up her arm and lodged into her chest, her mind conjuring up the breathless feeling at the stupidest random times since. Thinking about that wasn’t helping things right now, but neither was his knight-in-shining-armor routine, rescuing her from the evil laundry containers and then feeding her when she hadn’t eaten anything all day.

Still, he hadn’t said anything in response to her agreement they pretend like that conversation between them in the medbay had never happened. His hands clasped between his knees and he stared off across the gym, his features tense.

The aloof expression should have warned her away, but instead it widened that crack in her defenses she’d been trying to ignore. It shouldn’t matter to her if he was lonely or what kind of life he lived outside of his role as her CO. But for some idiotic reason she did care—or maybe curious was a better word. Whatever it was, she was invested way too much, considering their respective positions.

Ever since the shuttle had been attacked on route from the
Farr Zero
, she felt like she’d been in a tailspin, unable to find her breath or gain perspective. She needed some time and distance. Maybe this whole thing with Captain Alphin didn’t mean anything. Maybe it was some kind of deferred gratitude for the fact that he’d been the one to pull her out of the damaged transport. With a good night’s sleep in a bed that wasn’t a hospital gurney, she’d probably regain her common sense and then be totally mortified that for even half a second, she’d thought she’d started to like him a little too much.

Pushing to her feet, she grabbed on to the sanity of that resolve, stepping back to put some distance between them—physical and mental.

“Thanks for the drink and the energy bar. I really should be getting back to the dorm.”

He stood with a fluid movement, clasping his hands behind his back as he straightened.

“Let me escort you.” Said in a tone that expected no argument. Yet the need to get away from him was swiftly building within her.

“That’s not necessary.” She took another step back, even though she couldn’t leave until he’d dismissed her or at least given an indication that she was free to go.

One side of his lips quirked upward for a brief second in an expression that was more cynical than amused. “As one of the recruits assigned to my training program, consider that it is necessary.”

Well, darn, she couldn’t argue with that, not unless she wanted to risk getting booted from said training program before it officially started.

Despite the weird, unsettled sensations creeping under her skin, she nodded and turned, grip twisting around the energy drink as she headed out of the gym with Captain Alphin on her heels.

The silence stretched between them as they waited for the transit-porter. And of course the transit was empty when the doors opened. They stepped inside and Captain Alphin put in the destination of the recruit dorms. She focused her attention on the display that showed the transit as a red dot moving through a map of the ship, too aware of the man standing silent and impassive next to her.

The doors opened to several recruits waiting to board the transit, and she ducked her head as she stepped out, unable to decide if she was relieved that they were no longer alone or embarrassed that some of her fellow recruits had seen her escorted around the ship by their CO.

Quickening her steps, she headed along the corridor, concentrating on finding her assigned dorm. When she reached the hatchway, she turned. Captain Alphin had lagged several steps behind her, obviously not in as much of a hurry as she was. The few recruits who’d been loitering in the passageway disappeared in wake of Captain Alphin, leaving them alone yet again.

“Sir, thank you for the escort, sir.” She clasped her hands in a formal stance, hoping her
get lost
hadn’t been too obvious.

He stopped in front of her, glancing at the hatchway to her dorm room before his gaze settled on her.

“Trying to get rid of me, Wolfe?” he murmured in a low tone.

Her heart bumped against the inside of her chest. “Sir, no, sir.”

He leaned in a little closer. “You know, I think I’m starting to get a good picture of you. You’re smart, maybe smarter than most recruits who come through here. Smart enough to know when to follow the rules to the letter and smart enough to know when you can get away with screwing the rules.”

Though a sane person might have taken his assessment of her character as a warning—an assessment that was probably spot-on, despite the fact they’d only met less than twenty four hours ago—for some reason his words made her feel too warm.

She cleared her still-raw throat and tilted her chin up a little. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, sir.”

“Plausible deniability?”

She didn’t answer, but she did hold his intense gaze for a long moment, making her pulse rate kick up.

His expression relaxed a little into what could have passed for contemplation. “However long you last in this training program, I have a feeling it’s not going to be boring while you’re around.”

Now
that
she didn’t think he meant as a compliment at all, which only served to spark her temper. “Sir, I’ll do my utmost to be as dull as dishwater, sir.”

She clenched her teeth after the words slipped out.
Damn it
. Apparently she’d lost her common sense
and
her self-control since leaving the
Farr Zero
yesterday.

Luckily, Captain Alphin didn’t seem pissed off. In fact, she could have sworn she caught a spark of amusement in his gaze before he glanced away from her. However, by the time he looked back, any hint of what he’d thought of her ill-considered words had gone.

He shifted a step closer until she had to tip her head up slightly to keep her gaze fixed on his face. His hand landed on her shoulder, and then he urged her into a pivot to face the door.

“Get some rest. You’re going to need it.” His low voice trickled over her like warm syrup and sent a tremble tripping down her spine.

She froze, cursing herself because he had to have felt that, since he was holding on to her shoulder. For a second he stilled and she caught her breath, waiting for him to release her so she could flee to her bunk and hide under her covers.

“Leigh—” She didn’t know why his name slipped out on a whisper, that one word filled with far more than she should have revealed to him. But apparently it was enough to break the spell.

“
Christ
.” He let her go abruptly, leaving her off-balance.

Before she’d regained her equilibrium, he’d turned away and stalked off down the passageway, leaving her with nothing but cold shivers tracking under her skin.

Whatever his intentions in escorting her up here, she had a feeling that hadn’t been it. And instead of resolving the little infraction between them, somehow they’d gone and made it worse.

She covered her heated face with her hands for a long moment. Disaster didn’t begin to cover it. She had to get over this little burgeoning infatuation and start acting like the recruit she’d trained to be. She had plans for a career, and getting involved in an inappropriate relationship with a superior officer definitely didn’t factor into that.

J
esus Christ
. What had he been thinking?

Leigh sat up, damp sheets pooling in his lap, sweat cooling on his body and breath too hard to catch. He glanced at the clock in the wall beside his bunk.
Oh four hundred.
Shoving a hand through his hair, he swung his legs off the bed and set his feet on the cold floor.

After he’d fled the recruit dorms last night, he’d locked himself in his apartment, too wound up and pissed off to be fit for company. He’d thrown himself into a cold shower, loathing himself every second. How could he have succumbed to such a moment of weakness that could put a short, humiliating end to the career he’d put his whole thirty-six years into? Never once in all the time he’d been training potential new pilots had he been attracted to a single one of them, not even the slightest bit. His position as their commanding officer had made it easier to view them impersonally.

Maybe the stress of knowing he possibly had a mole under his command had screwed with his head, and Mia presented as a convenient distraction.

Except that wasn’t fair on her, and made him seem like a shallow jerk. Okay, perhaps some of it came down to a weird sense of disconnection he’d developed ever since Yang told him one of the people he trusted with his life had betrayed him. Maybe he just wanted to feel connected to something or someone—

And maybe all this self-psycho-analysis crap was giving him a headache. He dragged a hand down his face, pressure building behind his temples.

Going to bed and laying in the dark had only intensified the problems. For one, that forbidden moment when he’d touched Mia’s shoulder had gone on live-action replay in his head over and over. He couldn’t stop it, as though his mind had imprinted the scene on his very soul. The feel of her soft, lithe body next to his. The sound of her breath catching. The exact curve of her lower lip. The light almond scent of her skin. The way she’d whispered his name, laced with darkly sensual things that were forbidden between them.

What would have happened if she hadn’t murmured his name and jolted him from the spiraling path of his thoughts?

He’d half expected Commander Yang to come pounding on his door, dragging him up to the command center to bring him up on charges of misconduct, among other things. Yet the night had crept by and eventually he’d fallen into a fitful sleep, plagued by his own stupidity.

But even more unsettling? The conflicted feelings warring within him. How would he face Recruit Wolfe today and pretend like nothing had happened? Somehow he had to drag himself out of the dishonorable place he found himself and put things to right.

After shoving the sheets off, he then stooped to grab a pair of sweats and worn T-shirt, before yanking on some socks and shoving his feet into his trainers. An hour on the treadmill to wear down his body and clear his mind was what he needed to regain some of his sanity and get through the day.

He headed out into the hallway and down to the transit. As he reached out to the control screen, the doors opened, revealing Commander Yang.

For a second his heart went into a free fall, until he remembered that Yang had recently moved into Dr. Sacha Dalton’s apartment on this level.

He clasped his hands behind his back and sent Yang a nod as he stepped out of the transit. “Sir.”

“Alpha.” Yang returned the nod, though a little less sharply. The commander looked tired, his usually neat hair sticking out and tie pulled loose, while his rumpled jacket was slung over his arm. “Late night or early morning?”

“Early start. Wanted to get some time in at the gym before classes start with the recruits. You?”

Yang ran a hand over his hair and sent him an exasperated look. “Late night, but I’m sure you can tell.”

He sent Yang a quick half smile. “Of course not, sir.”

“Well, I’ll leave you to it. I’m hoping to catch a few hours sleep before the next crisis.”

Yang started to walk by him, but Leigh turned. “If you don’t mind me asking, sir, is everything okay?”

The commander paused, then looked back at him, a range of grim emotions passing through his expression before becoming carefully neutral. “You mean apart from the fact we have a number of unknown traitors in our midst and no idea what the CSS are planning?”

The betrayal he’d tried to avoid feeling about the possible mole in his squadron returned, lighting up to burn in his chest. If he felt this way at the prospect of facing a single traitor in his ranks, he couldn’t imagine what Yang must be feeling, all on top of the PTSD he was recovering from after his time as a POW.

Yang gave a short sigh and stepped back toward him. “There’s a lieutenant due to come over from the
Farr Zero
later today. To put it simply, his one task is to review the validity of my command.”

A deluge of aggravation surged through him.
UEF and their bureaucratic BS
. More than half the brass who made decisions for them hadn’t ever fought on the front lines. They were all about money, figures, and statistics, not about the actual lives of the people on the ground.

“So they gave you back command, but
now
they want to make sure you’re fit for duty?”

“I knew there were conditions when I agreed to take back my post.” Yang glanced over his shoulder, down the hall toward the apartment he shared with Sacha. “I just didn’t tell Sacha about it. She needs to concentrate on herself and the baby, not worrying about whether or not the UEF are going to pull my posting any day now.”

The irritation smoldered into anger on Yang’s behalf. “They can’t, sir. No one knows or cares about the
Knox
as much as you do. Commander Emmanuel did his best this past year and a half, but things didn’t run the same without you. If they put someone else in charge of this battleship again, we might as well fly off in surrender right now.”