Dancer in the Shadows (19 page)

Feeling a little nauseous from the combination of alcohol and tension, Valerie set her glass down on a small table and started to rise. "Thank you for the drink, but I think I better go to bed," she said faintly.

"Oh, no you don't," Sean warned, grabbing her wrist and pulling her back down to the couch. "You have some explaining to do."

"About what?" she asked evasively, refusing to meet his eyes.

"Your sudden change of personality—that's what. This morning you were all smiles and ready to go along with any of my suggestions. Then suddenly you look as if you lost your best friend. Now I want to know what's wrong—and I want to know now. And it better be the truth."

"I just have a headache, that's all," Valerie whispered. "Please, I'd just like to be alone. Good night." She rose again, disappointed that he didn't even try to stop her.

"Was it because Felicia wanted us to join them for dinner?" Sean's question halted her retreat. "Or because of my relationship with her?"

Valerie bit her trembling lip as she spun around. "I can't be upset over her being your mistress, can I?" Her voice was pained. "All I want is for Michael to be well cared for when I leave."

"What do you mean, 'leave'?" he demanded, getting to his feet.

Choking back a sob, Valerie turned and ran down the dark hallway, heading for the safety of her room. She gasped as her arms were grabbed and she was spun around against a rock-hard chest.

"Why do you want to leave?" he growled in her ear..

"Y-you said I could stay only six months," she sniffed audibly, "un-unless I was willing to be a figurehead wife so-so I could stay with Michael or else I would have to give him up." Valerie was beyond caring about her pride. "Please don't take Michael away from me," she begged, pressing her palms against his chest. "He's all I have."

"You never meant to contact me about him; what makes you think you're fit to take care of him?" Sean asked cruelly.

"You and Felicia can have other sons. Please, Sean, don't take him away. I don't want to lose anyone else I love," she sobbed.

Sean's icy features softened as he studied her tear-stained face; he framed her cheeks with his palms. "In some ways, Val, you're still a child," he said gently. "Who would ever guess that you're the mother of a four-year-old child and can be a passionate lover? I'm beginning to think that some of those times I made love to you I should have given you a good spanking, instead. And why should I let Felicia have my sons when I have a perfectly good wife already?"

Valerie looked up in disbelief. "But she's your mistress—and you want to marry her," she choked out the words.

"Correction—she wants to marry me. I had no intentions of marrying her when I dated her years ago, and I only saw her recently to make you jealous," Sean said wryly. "You're the only woman I've ever wanted at my side for all time. And in my bed," he finished huskily.

"Oh, Sean," she breathed, unable to believe her ears, "I love you so much."

Groaning deeply, he pulled her against him, kissing her hungrily, making up for all the time they had lost. His mouth moved sensually over hers, healing her hurts as he drew her closer to him. The spark ignited a roaring flame between them, leaving them wanting more of each other.

"It's a good thing we're married, because I'm not letting you sleep alone tonight—if I let you sleep at all," Sean muttered thickly against her lips. "I can't let you go now, Val. I can never let you go."

An incoherent murmur was her reply as she tightened her arms around his neck, pressing herself close to his body. He bent slightly and slipped an arm under her legs, picking her up and holding her against his chest. She burrowed her face against his neck, pressing her lips against his skin. He headed for the end of the hallway, pushing his bedroom door open and then kicking it shut after them. They were soon enclosed in their own world of passion, rediscovering each other and their love.

Sometime during the middle of the night, Valerie awoke feeling cold and burrowed closer to the burning warmth beside her. Sean's strong arms clasped her against his bare chest, keeping her head in the crook of his shoulder. She turned her face, pressing her lips against slightly salty skin, feeling the steady pulse under her mouth. Fingertips cupped her chin, tipping it upward for his kiss. Sensing her response, his kiss deepened as he shifted his weight, pressing her backward among the bedclothes. Valerie's eyes shone with desire as she linked her arms around his neck, pulling him toward her as they let their passions mount to a high plateau before they fell into a deep sleep once again.

When she awoke again it was just past dawn. She stretched lazily, feeling more content than she had felt in a long time. Smiling to herself, she propped her head

on one elbow as she lay on her side, gazing lovingly at the husband she had rediscovered last night. Valerie knew now that their love for each other had not died over the years but had merely slumbered to awaken in passion. She reached out and traced the rugged contours of his face with a fingernail, glad to see that the tension was gone from his face as he slept.

"Don't start something you can't finish." His deep voice was lightly teasing, though his eyes were still closed.

"I should think you'd prefer to rest," she teased. "As Janine said, you're not getting any younger."

Sean reached up and pulled her down to him, nuzzling her neck. "I probably should get even with you for that crack," he growled.

"Oh, Sean, is everything going to be all right now?" she sighed, remembering his words from hours before.

"Don't worry, angel, everything's going to be fine," he whispered to her as he wrapped his arms around her.

Later, he cupped her face in his hands, looking tenderly at her. "I've made you a promise that won't be broken," he told her. "We've been at each other's throats far too long. You've been on the defensive with me ever since you got here, and all I knew was that I had to break through that shell you built up around you."

"But that was because I thought you wanted to marry Felicia," she said sadly. "That hurt the most."

"Well, I'll tell you again—I have no intention of marrying Felicia when I already have a wife who I love very much, although it seemed for a while that she was happier with someone else," he added grimly.

"I should have known it wasn't you on the terrace that night, that you would never do such a disgusting thing." Valerie felt ashamed for blaming him.

"You were so mad at me that you wouldn't have seen the truth if it had hit you." Sean leaned back against the pillows, pulling her head to his shoulder. "I could have throttled you for not letting me know about Michael. I wanted to punish you in any way I could. But I also knew I had to have you close to me. I started staying away from the house, working instead at the office, because I was afraid of carrying you off to bed and having you hate me even more. Then you had that accident and gave me a real scare. And seeing Craig in your hospital room had me seeing red—I was afraid I had lost the battle until that night when you asked me to stay with you. Then I thought maybe I was being given a second chance. But you were still recovering from your accident; you gave me a lot of lecherous thoughts that night, wench." He grinned wickedly, seeing her flush.

"I was afraid you'd refuse to stay." She idly traced random patterns on his bare chest with her fingernail.

"Stop it," he said thickly. "I want to get a few things straightened out first—especially, why you left me four years ago, leaving me only that note."

Valerie's thick lashes lowered, covering the painful memories written in her eyes. "B-because you frightened me that night." Her voice trembled. "After you left I realized I didn't want to be without you; my dancing was nothing compared to my love for you. Bu-but then you came home later and—" Her voice broke.

Sean's arms tightened convulsively around her. "Oh, Val, angel," he groaned, burying his face in her hair. "I've been through hell since then. I was afraid to fall in love with you because I was so afraid of losing you. You were so young and innocent, I couldn't believe that you could love me back. I didn't want to lose you, Val—I couldn't. That first time I kissed you I felt as if you had become a part of me."

"Oh, Sean." Valerie's eyes shimmered with tears at his halting words.

"When you talked about staying behind in San Francisco for that part in that dance, I didn't know what to do." Sean's voice reflected the pain he had felt then. "I was afraid you were tired of married life and of me, that you wanted out and you figured it would be an easy way to separate us. All I could do was lash out at you. Being drunk was no excuse for what I did to you, but it’s the only one I had. I was so angry because I was so afraid. For four years I told myself that I was over you, that you didn't matter to me anymore. But I was lying to myself. I knew you'd be at that party; Shelly told me. I thought I could be so strong, that I could see you and not care, that I could make you miserable and enjoy it. But when I saw you standing there with Craig, I felt as if I had been punched in the gut. Half of me wanted to punish you for running away, and the other half of me wanted to go down on my knees and beg for your forgiveness. I knew I had to have you back, but I didn't know how. And then I found out about Michael and I knew how I could do it, but now I feel so guilty. Can you ever forgive me for the things I said? I'd never take Michael from you, angel; you must know that."

"Oh, Sean, we've wasted so much time," Val murmured.

"Then we'll have to start making up for all that lost time," Sean whispered sensuously as his lips traveled over her face.

"I should check on Michael," she said teasingly.

"If Michael needs anything, Sara can take care of him." He rolled over, trapping her beneath his body. "I think it's time we discussed a brother or sister for him."

''Why discuss it when can handle all the technicalities ourselves?" Valerie murmured, her green eyes glowing with love. She was exactly where she wanted to be and she wasn't going to leave—ever.

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