Dancing for the Badman (Russian Bratva Book 3) (37 page)

“I
T’S LOVELY,”
S
ONIA GUSHES
as she hands me the lace dress from the rack.

It is lovely, classic, and demure. All of these things I haven’t felt in such a long time. I look at the high neck, lace dress hanging from my hand and I just stare at it.
Simplistic and elegant
. No big flash, no crystals, just a solid white dress with an overlay of lace.

“You don’t think it’s too…
pure
?” I ask.

“Try it on,” she urges. I nod.

I take the gown into the dressing room and, with the help of the sales girl, I slip it on over my head and let the fabric fall to the ground. The sales girl doesn’t let me look in the mirror until she’s finished primping, clipping, and arranging the dress to fit my frame.

“Turn around,” she urges. I do, slowly—and I gasp at the sight before me.

The top of the dress is a boat neck style of sheer lace. The dress is tight and strapless. It goes straight across my breasts and hugs my body all the way down to the ground before coming out in a slight mermaid style, from my knees to the floor.

The lace is delicate and covers from my neck down to the ground; but the back, that is what has me in awe as I look at the mirrors behind me.

The dress is completely backless—no lace and no dress in a deep V. Then, from my hips down is the train, it looks like it just floats behind me, all solid lace and completely sheer.

“It’s beautiful,” I whisper as tears fill my eyes.

“Do you want to show your friends?” she asks. I nod, unable to speak.

Slowly, I walk out of the room and toward the waiting area where all of my friends and Kiska are waiting for me.
Friends
—something I haven’t had a lot of in this lifetime. Kirill has brought so many new and wonderful people in my life. I feel as though my cup runneth over.

Once I’m situated on the little platform, I look into the mirrors, not at myself but at the people behind me. Kiska, Sonia, Haleigh, Emiliya, Ashley, Alex, and Oliver. They’re all crying, except for Alex, and I know without a doubt that this is my dress.

I lift my eyes and focus on myself. The dress is more modest in the front, yet there’s a subdue sexiness with the exposed skin beneath the lace.

Most importantly—I feel gorgeous.

“Please tell me this is your dress,” Haleigh sobs.

I smile and look over to Kiska.

“What do you think, Kiska girl?”

“I love it. You look like a real princess,” she whispers. I smile.

“It’s decided then. This is my dress,” I say with a wide smile. Everyone cheers.

I spend the next hour being measured and pinned inside of the gorgeous dress. Unfortunately, I have to have the floor sample altered and purchase that, as I don’t have time to order a new dress. I don’t mind, though. It’s absolutely stunning, and I can’t wait for Kirill to see me in it.

I hope he’s as amazed by the white fabric as I am. Though, he probably won’t care until that night, until he can peel the layers away and have me completely bare and to himself—officially
his
.

“Let’s lunch and then shop for Kiska and what’s to go under that sexy as sin dress,” Sonia suggests.

We spend the rest of the day like any other group of friends would—eating a delicious lunch with champagne and
dessert
. We shop a little more and find a beautiful age appropriate dress for Kiska, it’s a light blue and she says it makes her feel like a fairy.

Then, our last stop is
Agent Provocateur
on
Rodeo Drive
. The lingerie that lines the shelves of the store looks too pretty and delicate to touch, let alone wear on my body.

“Oh, Tatyana, you have to get this,” Emiliya murmurs from next to me.

I look over and she’s holding up what looks like some kind of piece of jewelry. It has several thin nude pieces wrapping around in a circle, and then it has gorgeous rose gold chains dipping down and hanging all the way around. I must look confused, because she laughs slightly before she informs me that it is a garter for under my dress. My eyes widen and I can’t stop the smile on my lips.

“It’s gorgeous,” I murmur.

“And against your light skin, it’s going to look phenomenal. Kirill, if he’s anything like Radimir, is going to adore it.”

“He’ll love it,” I admit with a smile.

We buy some new panties and a garter belt with thigh highs to wear under the dress, and once we leave the store, I’m afraid Kiska has a new obsession—pretty lingerie. Between Haleigh, Emiliya, Sonia, and I, we pretty much bought one of everything in the entire store.

“When I’m older, I want to wear all those pretty things,” Kiska murmurs as her cheeks turn red.

“When you are old enough and ready, Kiska girl, you will defiantly be wearing all of those pretty things for a man that is worthy to see them all,” I say as I take her hand in mine.

We dine together at our home, and then we all go to bed early. All of the children are tired, and I find that the day has completely exhausted me. My stamina and energy are getting better every day; but by the end of every day, I am completely spent.

The phone rings as soon as I settled into bed, and I answer it quickly, hoping that it is Kirill. I was so upset when Sonia mentioned that he had called the other day while I was napping. I had been so disappointed that I’d missed his call.

“Hello,” I murmur.

“Tati?” the voice on the other line crackles.

“Kirill,” I breathe.

For now, he’s safe. He’s breathing and talking, and I can finally breathe easy for another day. I have been so worried, knowing whatever he’s out doing isn’t safe.

“How are you,
moyo zolotse
?” he asks, his voice dipping a bit lower.

“I’m good. Every day I am getting stronger and feeling much better. I found a wedding gown today,” I admit with a smile playing on my lips.

“You did? That’s wonderful,” he says excitedly.

“I miss you,” I admit, playing with the sheet that I have pulled up to my waist.

“And I you, Tati. Very much so. I should be home in just a few days, then we’ll be celebrating our union,” he murmurs.

“I also bought some lovely things to wear
under
my wedding gown,” I whisper.

“Tatyana.” He grunts his warning, which makes me laugh.

“I love you, Kirill,” I sigh.

“Say it again for me,” he urges.

“I love you, Kirill,” I repeat, feeling my heart swell inside of my chest.

“I love you as well,
krushka
. Now, get some rest,” he orders. He hangs up the phone before I get the chance to say another word, but I don’t mind.

I lie down and curl under the bedding. Closing my eyes, I dream of our wedding day. In less than a week, I am going to be
Mrs. Kirill Barysheva
.

The next morning, I wake up feeling better than I have since before the accident. I sleepily rub my eyes and shuffle into the kitchen to start some coffee. I jump when I hear Haleigh’s voice float through the air from the breakfast table.

“Are you going to dance?” Haleigh asks as her cheeks pink at the question.

She’s feeding a very hungry little Maryia some bananas and eggs and looking right at me, waiting for me to answer.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about it. I don’t think so. Kirill doesn’t mind if I dance, but I don’t have to anymore. When I started, it was because I needed to make as much money as I could as quickly as I could to support us. Then, when Kirill found us, it was a defiance thing, a security blanket just in case we didn’t work out,” I admit, looking down at my bare feet.

“I understand that. I thought when I gave up ballet that I would lose myself. I imagined I would just be this puppet for Maxim to control, that I would be something he would only take off of my dusty pedestal from time-to-time to show off. I didn’t know that we would turn into something else entirely,” she murmurs as if she is thinking about her lover.

“You’re partners,” I suggest.

“Partners, best friends, and lovers. It’s the best feeling in the world to look at Maxim and know, after all of the shit we’ve been through, that we’ve made it—
together
. We’re stronger than we have ever been, probably stronger than we ever
could
have been had we not gone through our own version of hell together.”

“Are you pregnant again?” Emiliya asks from the kitchen’s entrance.

“
What
?” she asks with wide eyes.

“You get very sentimental when you’re pregnant,” Emiliya shrugs.

“Because you aren’t ever sentimental about Radimir?” Haleigh asks, scrunching her nose up.

“Radimir and I weren’t a match made in love. I had to fight for him, you know that,” Emiliya says as her back straightens.

“Face it, none of us has had a match made in initial love. Not even Tati and Kirill. We’re all a product of this life, this organization,” Sonia interjects.

“Just because you aren’t a match made in love doesn’t mean you can’t grow to love and appreciate your partner. I would rather have my Yakov then try and find another man. There is so much cruelty out there,” Ashley says softly.

“I’m sorry, I’m being bitchy,” Emiliya murmurs.

“What’s wrong?” Haleigh asks, concern etching her features.

“I’m pregnant,” she says as her eyes water.

“Oh, how exciting,” Sonia gushes.

“I can’t have another baby. Not yet,” Emiliya says as she starts to cry. She’s holding baby Rad to her chest, and I quickly take the little bundle from her.

“You’re tired,” Sonia coos, wrapping her arm around her.

“So tired,” she sobs.

“Let me take him tonight. You need your sleep. We’re all cooped up in this house, it’s the least I can do,” I offer, looking down at the sweet baby in my arms.

“I can’t let you do that. You just got out of the hospital,” Emiliya sniffles.

“You can and you will. Kirill has already announced he would like more children, so I’ll need the practice. And I’m going to practice starting now. Write down his schedule for me and then take yourself to bed for the day,” I order. She starts to open her mouth, but Sonia interjects.

“We’ll be together, cake testing, all of us. Alex will stay here with you and you can rest easy knowing that three mothers are watching after your sweet bundle,” she says. Emiliya’s eyes tear up again and she nods.

“Does Radimir know?” Haleigh asks, chewing on her bottom lip.

“I found out last night,” Emiliya admits as she shakes her head.

“He’ll be so happy,” Haleigh whispers. I watch as Emiliya nods.

“He will. I’m happy, too, I’m just so tired. Rad doesn’t sleep much, and I’m feeling overwhelmed,” she confesses as she writes his schedule down.

“It’ll get better, I promise,” Haleigh says, taking her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

Haleigh would know; her two children are still small. It’s been so long since I’ve had a baby. I remember days and nights being difficult, but I don’t remember every aspect of it all.

We all urge Emiliya to go back to bed.

I look over to Ashley, who watched Emiliya walk away, but not in concern. No, there is something else in her eyes—
longing
. When she turns back to us, I furrow my brow at her in question. She shakes her head and I don’t push. Then we all separate and get dressed for a morning full of tasting delicious cakes.

“You need to have an entire house full of sweet babies,” Sonia coos as she walks into the bakery in front of me.

“Why do
I
need to have them all?” I ask.

“Because look at how lovely Kiska is. You two make gorgeous children,” Sonia says as Kiska blushes.

Kirill has taken Kiska out of school until it is safe for her return, though the school is very safe, he’s erring on the side of caution until he’s finished doing whatever it is that he’s out doing.

“You need grandchildren,” I murmur as I take Rad from her arms.

We spend the next hour tasting cakes and designing the simple wedding cake for Saturday. In only days, I’m going to walk down the aisle to finally become Kirill’s wife. It’s a day I truly never thought would happen. I’m excited and nervous all at the same time. Rad squirms in my arms and Kiska comes up closer to me and touches his little baby nose.

“Will you and papa have more children?” she asks quietly.

“Would it bother you, to be a big sister?” I ask. Suddenly, I realize that I haven’t asked her how she feels about the concept.

“No, I would love it. Miss Sonia is right. Papa needs more children,” she says with a grin.

“Just him?” I ask, arching a brow.

“I think—I think it would make him happy if you had more,” she murmurs.

“But how would that make
you
feel, Kiska girl?” I ask, trying to dig deeper inside of her. Kiska is always so hard to read, much like her father.

“It would feel good. Like we were always meant to be together, to be a much bigger family than we are. I can help and teach him things.” She shrugs.

I look at my girl, my sweet, affectionate, strong girl, and I smile. I never imagined that we would be where we are right now, but I can tell that Kiska is happy. She’s much more outgoing and social than she used to be, and she’s making friends at school. Her transition has been a positive one; and as a mother, it is more that I could have ever dreamed of for her. Then, there’s her ballet—something I never dreamed she would love as much as she does.