Dancing Naked (8 page)

“You’re right, Justin,” the Reverend said.“I apologize. I’m getting ahead of myself again. Just one of my many bad habits. But Kia, I’m glad you came by to talk to me.
You’ll come and see me any time, right? Especially if the going gets rough?”

Kia nodded absent-mindedly. She was studying a poster hanging on one of the walls in the office. It showed a blue car, the image blurred as it raced toward a hairpin turn on a deserted road.
CHANGE
was written across the top. Underneath the picture it stated: A
bend in the road is not the end of the road ... unless you fail to make the turn.

“Are you coming, Kia?”

She blinked. Justin was holding open the door for her and she could hear him jingling his car keys. She stood up and shook the minister’s extended hand, put thoughts of the poster aside and followed Justin out to his car.

From:
        Kia <
[email protected]
>
To:
             Justin <
[email protected]
>
Date:
          Jan. 25
Subject:
     hairpin turns
hey justin, u know that poster inside the rev’s office? the one about the bend in the road? well, i’ve been thinking. if the road is life, and for me, the bend was getting pregnant, i’m wondering if i made the right turn. u know? will having this baby change the direction of my life, or will it just be a detour?
C U
K

From:
        Justin <
[email protected]
>
To:
             Kia <
[email protected]
>
Date:
          Jan. 25
Subject:
     Re: hairpin turns
hey kia, interesting question. you’re quite the philosopher. the rev explained 2 me once that part of his job is helping people navigate through the changes in their lives. that’s why he likes that poster.
it seems 2 me that the answer for u depends on what u do with the baby. it’ll be a change—a permanent change—if u keep it. it will be a detour if u put it up for adoption. life is a series of changes, really, one after another, but with this decision you’ll have to decide how big of a change u want to make.
justin
ps. u know, most of us stay on the same road, day after day, but forced detours can help us see places and things that were just barely hidden from view before. keep your eyes open. u never know what u may discover!
ttfn
J.

~ fingernails are appearing
~ mouth opens and closes
~ signs of baby’s sex are beginning to appear
~ lime sized

Feb. 1

I came to a bend in the road. I took the turn.

My life is not ruined. It’s only changed.

From:
        Justin <
[email protected]
>
To:
             Kia <
[email protected]
>
Date:
          Feb. 2
Subject:
     T.O.Y
hey kia. have you made that appointment with the doc? can i give u a ride?
J

From:
        Kia <
[email protected]
>
To:
             Justin <
[email protected]
>
Date:
          Feb. 2
Subject:
     Re: T.O.Y.
hi justin. i made the app. but i’ll take the bus. i need to know how 2 get there when you’re not around. thanks anyway. i’m going back to dr. miyata. she’s cool.
k

From:
        Justin <
[email protected]
>
To:
             Kia <
[email protected]
>
Date:
          Feb. 2
Subject:
     Bussing it
ok but give the peanut a pat for me. tell him to behave.
justin
ps. when are u going to have the talk with your folks?

From:
        Kia <
[email protected]
>
To:
             Justin <
[email protected]
>
Date:
          Feb. 2
Subject:
     he’s a she!
justin, u mean HER. i’m sure of it. so i’ll give “her“ your message. lol. and the talk? soon (maybe). you’ll be the first 2 know. honest.
C U L8R
k

“So, you’ve decided to go through with the pregnancy.” Dr. Miyata sat back in her chair and looked across the desk at Kia.

Kia nodded.

“How does your boyfriend feel about that?”

Kia quickly looked down at her hands. “He’s not my boyfriend. And he doesn’t know,” she added quietly.

The doctor’s eyebrows shot up and she tilted her head. “No?”

“No.”

“But he is the father of this child?”

“Yeah.”

“Then don’t you think he should know?”

“Uh-huh. I’ll tell him. I just haven’t got around to it.”

“And your parents?”

Kia sighed. This was beginning to feel like an interrogation. “I’m going to tell them soon too.”

“How soon?”

“I thought I’d wait until it was too late for an abortion. Then they wouldn’t try to make me change my mind.”

“Some abortions are done much later than twelve weeks. But you’re right, the first trimester is preferable. Are you afraid of their reaction?”

Kia paused before she answered. “It’s not that I’m afraid. It’s just that they’re going to be so stunned. I’ve been the perfect first-born daughter for a long time.”

“That’s a tough role to play, all right.” The doctor smiled. “I’m surprised you know about birth order and behavior patterns and those kinds of things.”

“I know a lot of stuff.”

“I’m beginning to realize that. But do you know much about pregnancy?”

“No, not a whole lot. I’ve seen pictures of fetuses at different stages of development.”

The doctor nodded. “Nine months may seem like a long time, but it is miraculous that a complex human being can develop in such a short time.”

Kia sat quietly, both arms wrapped around her stomach.

“We’ll need to sign you up for prenatal classes. You’ll want to find someone to go with you.”

“Well, I’m not taking Derek, and I’d feel kind of
stupid bringing my mom when all the others will be married couples.” Kia slumped lower in her chair.

“You’ll be surprised at the couples you’ll find in these classes, Kia. Families aren’t what they used to be. Perhaps you have a friend that would go with you? Someone who’d be willing to stick by you right up until the birth?”

Kia’s first thought was of Shawna. But then she thought of Justin. Would he be willing to do that for her, or would that be pushing the limits of their friendship?

“I know of one adopting family who went through the prenatal classes with the teen who was carrying their child.”

Kia studied the doctor’s face. Why was everyone assuming she’d decided on adoption?

“I need to see you once a month until the thirtieth week,” the doctor continued. “Then I’ll see you twice monthly. Toward the end I’d like to see you each week. In the meantime, I want you to have an ultrasound test so we can determine the exact age the baby is now. Any questions?”

Kia thought for a moment. “Do you think I made the right choice?”

The doctor paused, but only for a moment. “Only you can answer that, Kia. The right choice is different for everyone. It all depends on your circumstances and your values.”

Kia nodded. It was the answer she’d expected. “Will you deliver my baby?”

“I sure will. Even if you require a Caesarean section I’ll be in the operating room assisting. Okay?”

“Thanks. And I don’t need that ultrasound. I know exactly what day the baby was conceived. I’m eleven weeks pregnant.”

“That may be so, Kia. But the ultrasound will give us other information too, like if it is a single baby or twins.” She jotted something else on a fresh sheet of paper and handed it to Kia. “Here are the phone numbers you need to set up the exam and to register for prenatal classes. Make the calls as soon as you can, okay?”

Kia nodded.

“Good. Now off we go to the examining room to check you over.”

Kia used her elbow to clear the steam off the bus window. She looked out at the gray day. The physical exam had been painless. The doctor had measured her stomach, which was still flat, taken her blood pressure and listened for the baby’s heartbeat, which she said she couldn’t yet detect. It would be beating, the doctor had said, but there were too many other sounds drowning it out. In another month it would be strong enough to be heard clearly. Then she’d given Kia a package of information about pregnancy to read. “It’s especially important for you to take care of yourself,” the doctor had said, “because you’re so young, and still growing yourself. We don’t want your health to suffer and we want to create as healthy an environment for the baby as we can.” Kia had shoved the information into her backpack.

As the bus shuddered to a stop, Kia glanced at her watch. With any luck, she’d beat her parents home and would have time to make the phone calls. Her sister, Angie, would still be at after-school care ...

Angie. Kia felt a pang of guilt. Last night at dinner
nine-year-old Angie had looked up at her with those big, trusting brown eyes and pointed out that Kia hadn’t picked her up from her daycare in ages, since before Christmas. As if from a great distance, Kia had heard herself promising that she’d pick her up the very next day, saying they’d hang out together, just the two of them, just like they used to do. She’d said it, knowing full well that she had a doctor’s appointment. What had she been trying to prove? That she was still the perfect big sister? The word “denial” floated fuzzily to the surface of Kia’s consciousness, but she pushed it back down.

She decided to stop by right now and collect Angie, even though it was almost time for their parents to arrive home.

Kia stepped off the bus and began the short walk to the daycare. How would Angie take the news about the baby? She felt her stomach flip. She would be shocked. Or disgusted. Probably both. Her one night of sex with Derek was going to affect more lives than she would ever have thought possible.

Kia spotted her mom’s car in the driveway of the daycare the moment she turned onto the street. She stopped and considered leaving so she wouldn’t have to explain where she’d come from, but before she could, her mom and Angie emerged from the house. Her little sister bounced down the front steps, spotted Kia and waved. “Hey Ki!” she called out. “Perfect timing. Now we can both get a ride.”

Her mom looked up, surprised. “Where did you come from, honey?”

“I just got off the bus. I came to pick up Angie. How
come you’re here so early?”

“My last class got out early.” She studied Kia, puzzled. “Where did you go on the bus?”

Kia felt her face flush. She was a lousy liar. With a sudden change of heart she decided not to lie. “I had a doctor’s appointment.”

“You did?”

“Uh-huh.”

Kia watched her mom’s face change as a whole range of emotions flashed across it.

“Don’t worry, Mom. I’m okay. I’ll tell you about it later.”

“Oh.” Her mom looked at her with a blank expression and then climbed into the car. She glanced at Angie, and then a look of realization crossed her face. “Ohhh,” she said again.

“You can tell me,” Angie said, accurately reading her mother’s reaction. “I’m not a little kid. I keep telling you, I’m too old for that stupid daycare too. They’re all babies there. I have nothing to do.”

Kia felt herself flinch at the word “babies.”

“One more year, Angie,” her mom said patiently. “That’s all.”

They rode home in silence, Angie already forgetting about the doctor’s appointment. Kia swallowed. The ever-present nausea had intensified. She’d committed herself. Tonight was the night.

When she got home, she went straight to her room, shut the door behind her and pulled out her journal.