“Let’s go!” Nathan called to his brothers.
He handed off the information about the estates to one of the men he’d put in charge and headed to his car, his brothers following behind him.
“We’re heading back to Russia,” he said to them over his shoulder. “The men don’t need us with them. We need to head back to Russia to look for Carter. If she got away, she’d be headed there. We have a few friends in Germany that she knows about. Hopefully we’ll be getting a call soon.”
“She could already be in Russia, Nate,” Kyle said. “She got away from Silas three days ago.”
“Yeah, I know that, but if she were already to safety don’t you think she would call?”
Frowning, Kyle nodded his head. “Has your father called? Have they found anything?”
Nathan shook his head. “I haven’t heard from him. Anastacia calls every second, though. I understand she feels powerless right now because she’s hurt, but I need her to trust me—”
“Nathan!”
Nathan looked over his shoulder when he heard Mickey call his name. “What?” he asked.
Mickey ran up to him with a weird look in his eyes, and Nathan immediately knew that whatever Mickey had to say, he wouldn’t like it.
Stopping in front of Nathan, Mickey slipped his hands into his pocket. “I’m going to go with them. I want to fight.”
And that’s all he said right before he started to walk past him. Nathan’s hand shot out and gripped Mickey’s arm, pulling him back in front of him. Speechless, both Kyle and Nathan stared at Mickey for a moment.
Mickey looked at them with a frown. “What are doing?”
“What do you mean what is he doing?” Kyle questioned angrily.
Nathan leveled a glare on Mickey. “What is this? When did this start?”
“What do you mean?” Mickey asked.
“This! You, telling me what you’re going to do, instead of just doing what I told you to?”
Kyle reached over and smacked Mickey in the back of the head. “What the fuck is wrong with you? Why the hell would you go with them?”
“So … what? You guys don’t want me to go?”
“Hell no!” Nathan yelled. “If I wanted you to go I would have told you to go!”
“Why the hell would you go to fucking war without us?” Kyle added.
“Kyle, will you excuse us for a moment?” Nathan asked.
Kyle gave Nathan a look and Nathan nodded his head, assuring Kyle that he’d talk some sense into Mickey.
When Kyle turned and stalked off, muttering expletives, Mickey jerked his arm from Nathan’s grip.
“Dammit, Nathan! Just let me do this!”
Nathan shook his head firmly. “The answer’s no. If you go, then all five of us have to go. Then who will be there for Carter?”
“You guys don’t need me there, and I don’t need you with me. I’ll be fine. I want to fight.”
Nathan crossed his arms over his chest. “Bullshit! What is this really about?” Mickey had been acting different ever since the day they’d all met up in Russia. He’d barely spoken two words this entire search. Now, when he was finally ready to speak, he said this?
“It’s about killing the motherfuckers that took Carter from us. It’s about revenge. It’s about earning your trust back, your respect.” Mickey angrily spat each word out.
Nathan sighed. “You have both, Mickey. You never lost it. I already apologized for what I said on the phone. I told you that you are not to blame, now stop this. I was just upset, scared for Carter. We all are. Now, let’s go. Get in the car.”
Nathan waited for Mickey to walk back to the car, but he didn’t move, causing Nathan’s jaw to clench tightly. “Mikilo—”
“Look, Nathan. I appreciate your apology, but I still want to fight.”
“And I said no,” Nathan growled, unable to keep the irritation out of his voice.
“I understand that, but no boss or underboss would stop a willing soldier from fighting.”
“So if we find Carter while you’re gone, you what, want us to tell her you said hi?” Nathan asked.
Mickey didn’t immediately respond. Instead, he stared off into the distance and slipped his hands into his jean pockets.
“Answer me, Mikilo.”
Mickey shook his head. “I feel it, man. I know you do too …”
Nathan nodded; he did feel it. They were getting closer to finding Carter. What he couldn’t understand was why this seemed to cause Mickey so much distress.
“Mickey,” Nathan said. Mickey turned his gaze to him. “Talk to me, brother. We have a little time before the plane is ready.”
The muscles in Mickey’s jaw tightened. “I don’t think I’ll be able to see her until I prove to myself that I’m worthy of her forgiveness, Nathan.”
“Mickey, what happened wasn’t your fault.”
Mickey shook his head. “We weren’t watching, Nathan. She was so …” He swallowed his emotions. “She was more vulnerable than I had ever seen her before. It was like finding out what had happened to you shut her down. She threw up, nearly fainted, and began screaming for us to look for you. It took Anastacia forever to calm her down; I thought we were going to have to take her to the hospital. When we finally got outside, she had gone completely blank. It almost seemed like she wanted to end it, just walk into oncoming traffic. I literally only looked away for ten seconds, Nate …” He gazed off into the distance again. “I’ve never failed before. Why did my first failure have to be failing to protect my best friend? She was devastated and off her guard. She needed me to have her back and I didn’t. I was too busy on the phone.” He turned his gaze back to Nathan with a pained look in his eyes. “What if she hates us … me, Anastacia, and Cesare? Carter always has my back. Every time we had a job, every time I acted impulsively, she kept me from doing something stupid, and she was there for me when I got shot. I know she would never hold a grudge against me, that’s just not who she is, but to me, I feel like I need to do more if I want to be worthy of the forgiveness she’s most likely already given me. I need to make sure this doesn’t happen to her again.”
“We
are
making sure this doesn’t happen again, brother.” Nathan placed a hand on Mickey’s shoulder. “Carter loves you, Mickey. I’m positive nothing resembling hate, or blame against you has even crossed her mind. She’s fighting to get back to us, her family. If we head back to Russia and she’s there waiting for us it will,” Nathan sighed, “cause her a lot of stress to hear that you’re off somewhere fighting without us there to back you up, Mikilo. You’re exceptional at what you do, but you are right, you’re impulsive. Kyle, Dante, Lucca, and I expect that. We know you, we can pretty much predict everything you’re going to do before you do it, but they can’t. Carter knows that, and she would worry, Mickey. She doesn’t need any more stress, and frankly, neither do I. I’m … already worried enough.” Nathan ran his hand down his face as the tremors began again. “Shit.” Sweat beaded on his forehead, and his hands began to shake. Dear God, he needed to get his wife back safely. He was losing it again. It was just like when his mother had been killed. For long periods of time Nathan would just go blank, and when he became aware of his surroundings again, he’d be somewhere different than he was before. Nathan took a deep breath. He wouldn’t slip into that state again … he couldn’t. Carter needed him. She needed him to be strong.
Nathan felt a hand on his shoulder. “Nathan, are you okay?”
Taking a step back, Nathan wiped the sweat from his forehead. “No,” he confessed as he rested his head against the car. “Carter might be pregnant …” When he said the words to his brother, he felt a little lighter. It was a small amount of relief, but relief nonetheless. So much for keeping it to himself.
Nathan wasn’t aware of what was happening around him, but he knew he was moving. It might have been safe to say that Nathan was panicking a little, which was why he knew he was in no state to fight a war. Having Lucca, Kyle, Mickey, Dante, and Freddy with him ensured that he could have his “panic moments” away from the eyes of his men.
Nathan was led to the backseat of the SUV. When he entered the car and his door was closed, he rested against the seat and groaned. Cradling his head in his hands, he took deep breaths. He distantly heard the two front doors close, but he felt distanced from it.
“Where is Mickey?” he asked as a painful headache settled on the right side of his head.
“I am here, Nathan.”
Nathan sighed in relief.
“Why didn’t you tell us, Nathan?” he heard Kyle ask. “Why would you keep that to yourself?”
“She hadn’t taken a test yet, but we were both pretty sure. I know she is, man, I can feel it in my gut. I’m fucking losing my mind.” He removed his hand from his face. “I just need her back. I need her to be safe, I need to know our baby is healthy and still growing inside of her.” Leaning forward, Nathan rested his elbows on his knees. “I need my family back.” He looked at his reflection in the tinted window. “I’m afraid of who I’ll become if anything happens to my wife and child, guys. I don’t think there will be any coming back from that.”
“We’re going to get her, brother…” Kyle said as he started the car and pulled out. They weren’t even a mile down the road before Nathan’s car phone received a message.
“Do you want me to hand you the phone?” Mickey asked.
Nathan shook his head. “No, just put it on speaker. It’s probably my father, or Anastacia.”
Mickey did as Nathan had instructed, and played the message on speaker.
When the message began it was only static, like that of a television. What sounded like a soft, feminine voice cut through until it became clear. Nathan’s heart stopped at the sound of her voice.
“Nathan …” So soft and almost a whisper, yet his wife’s voice came as a sweet caress to his ears. “Hi, bubby.”
Nathan could practically hear tears welling up, and they matched his own. Nathan didn’t know what the fuck was happening to him, but he was definitely sure he had unshed tears in his eyes.
Carter sniffled. “I don’t know when you’ll get this message, but I pray that it’s soon. I got away from Silas, bubby. I did what my father told me to do, what you told me to do … I fought. A lot of stuff happened, but it only took me a few hours to find Rashid. Do you remember Rashid, Nathan? We met him when you just
had
to take that meeting on the way to our honeymoon in Fiji.” She laughed softly and Nathan’s heart twisted in his chest. “He’s still really funny. Anyway, he told us if we were ever in Germany to look him up. Turns out his town is only a few hours away from Silas’s prison. Rashid is going to give the authorities a tip and have Silas’s castle raided. That should take care of him, and close a lot of missing person’s cases.” There was silence for a moment. “It might take you a couple of days to receive this message, so if you’ve found me by then, just disregard this. Rashid has to make sure the call isn’t traced or listened to. Silas’s influence is deep out here. This is the only time I can call you, Nathan. I’m not taking any chances. Please find me …” Her soft sniffle filled the phone and Nathan longed to hold her in his arms. “I wish you were here, bubby. I know I have to be strong right now, but I’m … I was so scared. I really need you. I know I haven’t talked to you since the day before you were … hurt, but I have to believe in my heart that you’re okay. I need you … to please be okay—”
“Come on, Carter. It’s time to go.” a deep, lightly-accented male voice stated, rushing her off the phone.
“Okay! I’m coming,” she yelled. “I have to go, bubby. If you get this message and you haven’t found me yet, just know that I’m safe. Rashid can only take me so far. I can’t go back to America, so I told him to take me to our safe place. Please remember, bubby. I can’t be specific because we don’t know if the line is clear. I love you, Nathan. I miss you so much. Please tell the guys, the originals, and my mother that I miss them and I love them all. I don’t want anyone to worry, just come find me. I have something to show you …”
Then the call went back to static before it ended.
Nathan swallowed and took a deep breath. “After our honeymoon, we made a detour to Russia. I told her that I wanted to take her somewhere that I’d never taken another person. Our first night together on the beach I told her that I liked to visit my mother’s childhood home every year around the time of her death. Carter loved the home, so we had it remodeled. She said that we could keep it, pass it on to our kids; use it as a getaway home. She said that if we ever needed to get away from anything we could go there … and it would be our safe place.”
~*~
The guys rapidly ran in the searing winter cold up the steps of Nathan’s mother’s childhood home. It had taken them a full day to get back to Russia, and Nathan had prayed every second of the way that Carter was safe in the beautifully remodeled home. He stood at the door, frantically searching for the key to unlock the door, when he felt a hand on his shoulder.
Quickly turning around, he impatiently asked, “What?”
The guys tried their best to hide their smiles. “You’re shaking,
brat,
” Freddy said. “You should pull yourself together before you see her don’t you think?” All of the guys chuckled.
Nathan frowned and shook off his nerves. He didn’t understand why he was so nervous to see her; after all, she was his wife. It had only been a little over three weeks since he’d last seen her. He straightened his clothing and self-consciously fixed his messy hair. He couldn’t wait for her to cut it. He knew she’d want to do it as soon as she saw how much it had grown since they’d last seen each other. Just the thought of her touching him again made all of his blood immediately rush to his—