Dangerous Dreams: A Novel (60 page)

Elyoner rolled over, opened her eyes. “Emily”—she yawned—“let me wake up for a moment, and I’ll take him.”

“Ellie, I’m so sorry. I tried to quiet him, but I don’t have a mother’s touch yet.”

“Oh yes, you do, my dear. He’s just ready to eat, and only one thing can calm him.” She stood, walked to Emily, took Henry and carried him to a log stool, where she sat and untied her smock, lowered it over her left shoulder and breast, then began nursing.

“Ellie, you must be exhausted. Is it like this every night?”

“Aye, I fear so. Mayhap you—”

“Ellie, I’ll start this moment if you’ll let me. I think I have milk, and I’m eager to try. Tell me what to do.”

“You’re my savior, lass. Bring your stool over here, then go over to the food trunk and get the crock of honey I brought from England. The berries are too ripe and have lost their sweetness, so we’ll try honey. I’ve seen it used, and I think we’ll fare well enough . . . oh, put that other stool in front of the door, so no one intrudes on us.”

Emily smiled broadly as she placed one stool in front of the door and the other beside Elyoner, retrieved the honey; she sat down, lowered her smock over her left shoulder and breast. “Now what? Do I rub the honey on my nipple?”

“Aye. And you may as well do both sides because you won’t have much, if any, milk today, and you’ll have to go back and forth several times on each side, so your body senses the demand and produces more. You can do
Virginia, as well, when she wakes. And if you do the two of them as often as possible for the next week, I should think your milk will be flowing quite well.”

Emily dropped her smock to her waist to bare her other breast, rubbed a healthy dab of honey on each nipple. “I’m ready.”

“By the saints, I can see from your breasts that you’re making milk. Here, take him and hold his face to a nipple. He knows what to do.” Henry’s lips made a popping sound as Elyoner pulled him off her nipple and handed him to Emily.

As he started to crank, Emily situated him, placed her nipple at his lips, smiled as he began suckling. “Whoa! The little rogue’s got strong jaws; glad he’s got no teeth.” Her eyes sparkled, lips parted in a broad grin. “Tickles . . . a strange feeling, but it warms my whole body . . . rather excites me.”

Elyoner smiled. “You’ll make a fine mother, Em.”

After a minute, Henry started cranking, and Emily switched him to her right breast while she re-honeyed the left. After three more quick rotations, Emily’s milk was exhausted, and the honey no longer pleased Henry; he again began to sputter, which woke Virginia. But she was of a more pleasant disposition than Henry had been, so Emily handed Henry to Elyoner to finish nursing while she untied Virginia’s diaper, replaced it with a clean one. She pulled the folded, narrower front of the doubled-over cloth between Virginia’s legs and up over her belly, tied a double knot at each side with the front and back corners. She then honeyed both breasts, picked Virginia up, and let her suckle. After three short cycles, Virginia performed her own hunger tantrum; and Emily passed her off to Elyoner, took Henry, laid him over her shoulder, and tapped his back to belch the air from his stomach. She honeyed her nipples and again let the now-contented Henry suckle their sweetness.

“Ellie, look at him. He’s smiling at me . . . must like me, eh?” She savored his warmth and clean, fresh baby smell, cuddled him closely as he watched her eyes. Feels like my brother . . . so many times I held him like this, wished I could nurse him though it rather embarrassed me to think such thoughts . . . wasn’t sure if ’twas proper or not, but I craved doing it nonetheless. Feels so warm and close.

“I think you’re right, Em. ’Pon my honor, if the two of them keep up like this, your lovely breasts will grow even more tonight, and you’ll have full milk by morning.”

“Ellie, I’m so happy and honored you’ve let me do this. It feels quite wonderful . . . and you certainly need the help.”

“You
are
my savior, and . . . and, Emily Colman, know that you are the
only
one in the world I would let do this. You are my dearest friend for life, and you shall be Virginia’s second mother . . . and her
only
mother if anything happens to me.”

The two smiled misty eyed at one another with a silence that wanted no words, then spread a blanket over a pile of grass on the floor and laid the two infants upon it, began preparing the morning meal. Elyoner said, “I suppose Thomas and Ananias will be here any moment, expecting us to be cheerfully ready with breakfast. ’Twas indeed good of them to stay with the bachelors and allow us privacy for nursing. I’m told your house will be finished in a few days, so we’ll have to figure out a good pattern for the feeding after you’ve moved in . . . and, Emily”—she walked to Emily, put her arms around her, pulled her close—“I’m unthinkably happy you’re here . . . that you survived all that’s befallen you . . . poor George. What a fine young man he was. I know you miss him terribly, and it pains you to think and talk about it, but . . .”

Emily felt warm tears on her cheeks. “I miss him, Ellie, and . . .”

“I know. You feel guilty that he died without knowing your love. I know how you must feel; but, Em, you can’t force your feelings. They are what they are. I’m just so thrilled you’ve come back to me. I feared the worst . . . we all did . . . you’ve certainly had to face far too much for a young lass your age.” She held Emily at arms’ length, looked into her eyes. “Oh, I nearly forgot.” She reached into her pocket, held out Emily’s letter from her mother. “You’ll be wanting this right away, I’m sure.”

Emily took the letter, stared at it for a moment, kissed it, slowly laid it against her heart, then closed her eyes. “Thank you, Ellie. I prayed with all my heart you’d still have it.” She opened her damp eyes, leaned toward Elyoner, and kissed her on the cheek. “Thank you, my dear, dear friend.” She smiled a contented smile. Thank you, Lord. Mother, I’m here. I’ve
survived. I await you. Please come to me . . . I so miss my locket, the remembrance of you inside it. “And, Ellie, you’re right. I
am
too young for what’s befallen me. Would that life could be normal and simple and happy, free of unyielding pressure from suitors and the risk of imminent death that seems to hang over me like a low, dark cloud. But truly, Ellie, nursing the babies will surely help. I’m so happy you’ve allowed me.”

Elyoner smiled. “
Auntie Emily
we shall call you.” She took Emily’s hands in hers, looked into her eyes. “You know, my dear, we’ve barely spoken since your arrival. So let us talk now.”

“Truly, I remember nothing from yesterday or the night before. I know we talked, but I was completely exhausted—in every way—I’ve no idea what we said.”

“You told me of the storm and nearly being swept out to sea with the tide; and then you fell asleep until yesterday afternoon when you awoke, had a nibble of food, and fell asleep again. So tell me of the rest of your journey . . . if it doesn’t pain you too much . . . all of it must have frightened you near to death . . . especially when the Savages surrounded you.”

“It did indeed . . . I nearly piddled down my legs when we heard them. ’Twas far worse than the massacre because I had time to think about what was happening, time for fear to seize my mind . . . though that’s becoming rather commonplace. But when the Savages stopped closing in on us, and one of them said
Chesapeake
, it eased my terror a bit; and I walked up to him, started using the hand signs Manteo taught me: asked him how they found us and whether you were all safe, and why they nearly scared us into our graves, and . . . listen to me blather on. Anyway, he told me about the two survivors from the second shallop, straggling into the village after Lieutenant Waters had departed with the search party, and Sergeant Smith—he didn’t know his name— asking the hunting party to search for us because he wasn’t allowed to send any soldiers away from the village. Then he told me why they surrounded us and let out such horrible, blood-chilling shrieks. I guess it makes sense . . . if you’re a Savage . . . but they didn’t know we were without weapons, and were afraid we’d shoot them if they didn’t make noise and show themselves to us.” A sudden smile brightened her face.
“ ’Twas probably fortunate we
didn’t
have guns, for some jumpy fool would surely have shot one of them if we had.”

“Aye. No question there.”

“And, Ellie”—she again embraced Elyoner—“I truly believed I’d never see you again.”

Elyoner held her close, patted her back as she would a distressed child. “Em, I feared for you more than I can ever tell. ’Twas most strange, but the night of the storm and the night you were nearly swept out to sea—though I believed you were still at Roanoke—I had a flood of fear flow into me; dizzied me like a blow to the head, it did. It wouldn’t leave, and I knew you were in danger, feared you were dead . . . just laid there on my back all night staring at the roof, crying.”

“I thought I was dead, as well . . . I
was
dead but for George, and then Hugh.” Her face grew abruptly somber. “And what am I to do about Hugh?”

“I don’t know, Em; but in spite of my misgivings about the man, praise God he risked his life to save you.”

“Indeed, but how shall I ever know the truth about him?”

Surrounded by his nine Assistants, Roger Baylye stood under a large tree halfway between the colonists’ village and the Chesapeakes’. “Before we start, I must tell you all that the hanging of William Clement this morning turned my stomach. In the unfortunate event we have to perform another execution, we must be certain that the knot works properly and delivers swift death. Though there was little sympathy for the man, no one should slowly strangle like that . . . kicking, writhing, gasping.”

Baylye waited silently for the nods and somber looks to abate, then traded his compassionate expression for a formal one. “John Bright will now give us a tally of our remaining strength. John . . .”

Bright pulled a piece of paper from inside his shirt, unfolded it. “We had one hundred eight souls when we began the move. Three are at Croatan Island; seventy-two of us are here; and . . . and thirty-three perished in the storm or on the . . .” He covered his mouth with his left hand, turned away.

Every man stared silently, dejectedly at anything but the face of another. Finally, Bright collected himself, wiped his drippy nose with the back of his hand. “We’ve twenty-one soldiers and fifty-one civilians, and—thank the Lord—all of our leadership save Dyonis Harvie. On the other hand, we’ve lost several critical skills, including our physician, John Jones; our sheriff, Anthony Cage; and Professor Thomas Harris. Fortunately, our skilled farmers and hunters, and our magistrate, Thomas Hewet, survived. Ananias Dare will conduct a remembrance ceremony at midmorning on the morrow for those who perished.”

Baylye said, “Thank you, John. Now to the task of electing a new Assistant. When we elected Lieutenant Waters, I made the decision to hold the number of Assistants at twelve rather than the thirteen we started with, and I would like to maintain that number because ’tis more proportionate to our diminished numbers. Besides, Fernandez, the thirteenth Assistant, never really participated in our proceedings. Further, as you all know, the colony’s charter states that the advice of the Assistants is precisely that— advice—and the governor is the final decision authority. So it matters not if we have a tie vote on some issue, for a split vote will convey the mind of the Assistants as well as an uneven vote. However, I make this promise to you: on grave matters, such as the election of a new Assistant, should we have the misfortune to have to do so again, I will abide by the Assistants’ decision unless ’tis a tie, in which case I shall cast the deciding vote. Speak now if this be not acceptable to you.” He looked at each man, saw no dissent. “Very well. Proceeding then, the names of Thomas Hewet, our magistrate, and Hugh Tayler have been placed in nomination, and I should like to entertain your thoughts on both.”

Thomas Colman coughed, doubled over with one hand on his mouth, the other on his stomach. “Excuse me . . . gentlemen . . . I’ll . . . return . . . shortly . . . please continue.” He began walking away.

Baylye said, “Certainly, Thomas.”

Lieutenant Waters raised his hand. “Sir, while in general I think it best that members of the judiciary and the military
not
be part of government, I realize our situation and numbers demand a somewhat different view . . . at least temporarily until Governor White returns with more
planters. I also believe we’ve difficult times ahead . . . times that may require creative deliberations . . . and collaborations . . . to maintain the rule of law, good order, and discipline in the colony. Therefore, I believe Master Hewet’s legal experience makes him a good choice.”

Aye
s rippled through the group until Thomas Stevens spoke for Hugh Tayler, recommended him as a man of good breeding and sound judgment. Again several voices of assent wafted toward Baylye.

After several seconds of silence, Waters again raised his hand to speak. “Two of my men, whose judgment and probity are beyond question, asked me to speak on their behalf should Master Tayler be nominated and seriously considered.”