Dangerous Embrace (Embrace #1) (32 page)

Devon stood with his plate and said, “Shots!”

“No, I think I’m done for the night.” She tilted her head. “But y’all go ahead.”

“Oh come on, baby,” Lily said. “We don’t get much of a chance to be together, let’s enjoy it.”

Sarah looked at Devon and he held up one finger and mouthed, “One more.”

She nodded. “Just one more.”

As they laid the empty shot glasses down, Lily’s cell phone rang in her pocket. She snatched it up and smiled as she answered. “Hi, sweet girl.”

Sarah stepped over to the sliding glass door and stared out at the rain that had started to fall. She sighed. So much for the nice weather.

“Hayley, tell Sean I said it was okay...no...no, he won’t. Tell him what I said.”

Sarah turned, startled by her mother’s raised voice.

“I’m hanging up, either tell Sean what I said or go home. It’s up to you. I love you. Call me in the morning.” She closed her phone and then dropped it on the table.

“Isn’t it kinda late to be arguing with Hayley?” Sarah asked.

“Oh that girl, she’s spending the night with her boyfriend, and she’s afraid Sean’s going to be pissed at her.”

“What? Mama, she’s only fifteen. Why would that be okay with you?”

“Well, she loves the boy. You know how teenagers are.” She walked toward the sink and said, “Chloe, you cooked, so you don’t get to do the dishes too.”

“Mama, you let Hayley spend the night with her boyfriend?”

“What’s the big deal? You had a boyfriend at her age.”

“How old is this boy? Where are his parents?” Sarah asked.

“He’s in college. He lives in a big house with a bunch of roommates.”

Sarah placed her hands on her hips. “You are letting your fifteen-year-old daughter spend the night with a man? What the hell are you thinking?”

“You were the same at her age. Remember Kevin? Why would I have different rules for her than for you?”

“I was two years older than Hayley, and Kevin was the biggest mistake of my life. Hayley isn’t old enough to make mature decisions yet. What do you know about this boy? He could be abusive or—God, Mama, what if she gets pregnant?”

“Hey—I thought we weren’t going to fight tonight,” Devon said, stepping between them.

“Maybe Hayley is a little smarter than you, Sarah. I’m not going to punish her for your bad choices,” Lily said.

“It’s not punishing her. It’s to protect her.” Sarah felt her heart pound like a base drum inside her chest. “Why aren’t
you
trying to protect her, Mother?” Sarah’s indignation felt like fire licking the inside of her stomach.

“Do not talk to me like that, Sarah Jean, grown or not, I am still your mother.”

Sarah scoffed. “Mother, huh, yeah.”

Lily took a step back with wide eyes. “Excuse me?”

“Please,” Devon said. “Stop.”

“Now you’re blaming me for your poor choices?” Lily dropped a hand to her hip. “Now it’s my fault things didn’t work out with Kevin?”

“Work out? What the hell are you talking about? Kevin beat me and emotionally abused me.” She felt the tears come as the fire in her stomach rose to her throat.

“He nearly beat me to death. He killed my baby.” Her mother wasn’t there...she was never there when Sarah needed her.

“If you were any kind of mother you would have protected me. You of all people should have recognized the patterns of abuse!” She fought back the scream in her throat. “He hurt me...and you never noticed because you were too wrapped up in your own life.” Sarah wanted to punch her mother’s blasé face.

“If it was that bad, why didn’t you leave him, Sarah?”

A rush of memories overwhelmed her, things she hadn’t thought about in years. Staring at her mother now, it was so clear to her. Her feelings of never belonging anywhere, always being homesick, but never knowing where her home was.

Kevin had given her a home. It was broken and abusive, but it had been a home and she clung to it.

Ava’s words echoed in her head,
You try so hard to prove you’re nothing like her, but who are you trying to prove it too?
Ava was right. Sarah remembered wanting to prove that she could hold on to a relationship when her mother couldn’t. She had clung to him even when he beat her—because she wanted a place to belong—
a home
.

“I stayed because of you, Mama,” she whispered, her eyes still focused on Devon’s and the tightness around his eyes softened. “I was needy and stupid. I wanted to be important to someone and be loved...oh my God.” Sarah broke the eye contact with Devon and felt the walls closing in on her. “I need to get out of here—fresh air.”

The atmosphere around her mother, even around Devon was suffocating, she needed space and air. Room to think.

“No!” Devon grabbed her arm. “Don’t leave.”

“It’s okay, I just need some air.” She pried his fingers from her arm and vaulted out of the sliding glass door into the rain.

Sarah inhaled and forced her lungs to take in the air even as they fought against it. She hit the beach on a run, happy for the darkness and the sound of the waves crashing around her.

She thought of every cruel word Kevin had said to her. The nasty things he’d accused her of. All this time she blamed herself for staying and not running away.

If Kevin thought she was stupid and useless, why did he want her? Why the manipulation? She would’ve stayed forever if he had treated her right.

Sarah remembered the disgusted look on Mark’s face when she told him about Kevin and about the baby. His questions, how hard he’d tried to understand her self-blame. One question stood out in her memory, and at the time, it didn’t make sense. Now she couldn’t get it out of her head.

Kevin didn’t want me. He wanted money—he wanted to control her money. That’s why he was so furious with her for postponing the wedding date. Why he felt the need to break her down and destroy her spirit. He’d wanted her submissive, to strip away her confidence so she believed she’d never survive without him or have the strength to leave him.

Sarah stopped running and leaned over to throw up. Her lungs burned, she tried to catch her breath as she braced her hands on her knees.

Kevin had come so close to getting what he wanted. She’d eaten everything he’d fed her, believing she was the problem. The memories of him sickened her. She had been a naive child and blamed herself for years and for what, for nothing.

Losing her child had been the catalyst for saving her life. And much as it hurt, she’d survived, but what had she done with her second chance? Squandered away the best thing that had ever happened to her. Look how she’d treated Mark when all he’d done wrong was love her.

When she could breathe normally, she pushed the wet curls off her face and ran to the dock, crouching to get out of the rain. From the corner of her eye, she saw someone coming toward her. Her heart began pounding faster. She spun to head back toward the house but tripped over a piece of driftwood. Sand stuck to her wet body and face. The jolt sent a stab of pain through her arms when she tried to catch herself.

Ignoring the pain in her shoulder, she jumped up and dug her heels in to run, but he grabbed her from behind. She cried out and fought against him but stopped abruptly when she heard his voice.

“Sarah! It’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you.”

She pushed off him with her elbows and spun to face him. She squinted in the dark, trying to focus on his face.

“It’s Shane. Are you all right?”

“Shane?” She couldn’t remember how or where she knew him from.

“Shane Fields. I work for Mark Summors. Did you hurt yourself?”

She leaned forward, relief flooding her senses. “You scared the crap out of me. What are you doing here?”

“Did you hurt yourself?”

“No...” She winced and tried to get the sand off her face. “I’m fine, what are you doing here?”

“Let me help you back. Do you need to go to the hospital?”

“What are you doing here?” she shrieked, taking a step back. “Did Mark send you here?”

“Let me take you back and we can talk.”

“I’m not going anywhere with you until you tell me why you’re here.”

Shane bowed his head and shook it, and then leveled his dark eyes on her. “Mark sent me to make sure you’re okay.”

Anger and elation surged through Sarah at the same time. If Mark sent someone to check on her, that meant he still cared. “Why didn’t he come? How did you get here so fast?”

“What?”

“I just talked to him a couple of hours ago.” She stopped and thought about it. “How long have you been in town?”

“I’ve been following you since Portland. You shouldn’t be out here at night.”

“Whoa, wait a minute. You’ve been watching me?” That must be why Mark stopped calling—he’d had eyes on her since she got to the beach. She started laughing—laughing like a crazy person.

“Oh my God!” She paced in circles, laughing a little crazier with each pass. Mark followed her. This whole time she was under surveillance. How did he know where to look? She pulled the phone out of her pocket and stared at it. Of course...stupid woman, she should’ve known Mark would find her.

“He cares about you. Do you realize what kind of hell you’ve put him through?” Words like that sounded a little funny coming from such a big man. How sweet of him to be concerned for his boss’s feelings. She never would have expected something like that from someone who got paid to be a bodyguard.

She stopped pacing and looked at him. “Oh, I know—he let me have it on the phone today. Let me know exactly what I’d done.” She chuckled again and felt lighter than she had in months. She felt like she could actually run that marathon now. “I gotta go.”

“What? No.” He reached for her as she turned away. “Let me take you back.”

She stopped suddenly and spun to look at him. “That’s a great idea. Take me back.”

Within twenty-four hours, Sarah was staring at Mark’s front door, shaking with nervous energy. The house was pitch black and for a fleeting moment, she almost chickened out.

When they arrived, she asked Shane to stand in the shadows. He’d kindly escorted her back to Santa Rosa without any argument. She was worried that her stunt might jeopardize his job, but he insisted he wasn’t worried and said he’d kept her safe and that’s all Mark cared about.

She pushed back the nerves. She didn’t know how Mark would feel about her being there, especially in the middle of the night without any warning. He’d made it pretty clear that he was done with her when they spoke on the phone. But that was before she realized she loved him. Now, she was the one unwilling to give up—she was the one asking for a chance with him.

Ringing the doorbell, she felt a flutter of butterflies in her stomach. He was at the door at a surprising rate considering he should have been in bed. When he thrust the door open, tears instantly watered her eyes.

Sarah cleared her throat and fought for a smile. “Hi.”

He swayed a bit in surprise. “What are you doing?”

Ouch, she deserved that, but it still hurt. “It’s nice to see you too.”

Mark glanced around her, his eyes stopping on her suitcase, and then on Shane. “What the fuck, Shane?”

“Talk to your lady. She's here, she’s safe—now it’s on you.”

Oh God, she needed to throw up. Mark didn’t want her here. She shouldn’t have come. Mark stepped outside and she could smell alcohol. “I don’t understand what’s going on.”

She blinked heavily and fought the heat of embarrassment that flushed her face. “I ugh...came to apologize to you.”

He stared at her and she didn’t know what to do next.

“Shane was kind enough to bring me back...sorry. I guess I shouldn’t have come. You’re clearly not interested.” She turned to leave, but he caught her arm.

“Sarah, why did you come here?”

“I told you...” She bowed her head and closed her eyes. “It’s okay, I’ll leave you alone.”

“That’s it? You came to apologize and now you’re leaving?” His words were slurred, and she felt bad for being the reason he was drowning his sorrows.

“No, I came here to tell you that I am sorry, and that I want to be with you. Since you don’t want to invite me in, I’ll assume I’m too late.”

“Stop fucking around with my feelings. You come here hat in hand and say you want to be with me, but what happens the next time you have to face something difficult?”

She reached over and grabbed her suitcase, throwing it down at his feet. “There’s another one in the trunk. Does that prove anything to you? This
is
difficult for me, Mark, I am—
right now
—facing one of the most difficult moments in my life, and I’m handling it—not running. I’m fucking trying here. Will you give me a chance?”

She took in a deep, sobbing breath. Her heart ached like nothing she’d ever felt before. Now, standing in front of him, she knew just how much she loved him and how much losing him would hurt her. “I told you, I don’t know how to do this.” Her eyes darted around searching for the words she needed to make him understand. When the words wouldn’t come, her heart sank.