Dangerous Passage (Southern Crimes Book #1): A Novel (21 page)

A
very sat curled up in her father’s leather chair beside the office window, reading her Bible and trying to extend this morning’s worship time. The late morning light filtered through the sheer curtains. She’d needed today. Corporate worship with a church family she’d grown to love over the past few years, and now the chance to seek God’s comfort in the silence. Finding all the answers still seemed out of reach, but for now she was clinging to the moment of rest from the battle.

“Avery?”

Avery looked up from her Bible and smiled at her father. He’d changed from his normal suit-and-tie Sunday attire to one of his Atlanta Braves T-shirts and sweatpants. “Hey.”

“I didn’t know you were still here. I thought you went with Jackson and Tess to feed the animals.”

“They insisted I stay here and rest.” She’d started to protest but, with the two of them, realized it was a losing fight. And besides that, she knew they were right. She really did need the rest and time alone. “This could almost feel like old times, you know. All we need now is some of that double fudge ice cream.”

“Now that sounds good. Your mother always got on me for indulging, but it was worth it.”

It had become a tradition growing up. When Daddy wasn’t
working, Sunday afternoons had been their time. While Mama and Emily napped, and Michael played video games, Avery had hung out with her father, and they’d talked, laughed, and simply enjoyed their time together.

“If you need to work, I could leave . . .”

“You know you always come before any work I might have.” He nodded toward his desktop computer. “I just thought I’d check my Facebook account.”

“Facebook? I never thought the day would come when I’d hear my father hangs out with friends online.”

“Just wait until you retire. I’ve connected with friends I went to elementary school with. I’m also reading Hemingway, Jack London, Thoreau . . . all books I promised myself I’d read years ago but never found the time to.”

“We’ll have to get you an ebook reader for Christmas.”

“Let’s not push things too far. I’m not sure I’m ready for that. I still like the feel of a real book.”

Avery laughed, trying not to dwell on the pang of guilt for smiling when so much had been lost. Mitch would want them to go on with their lives. To laugh and be happy again. But those feelings were going to be few and far between in the coming weeks.

Her father caught her gaze. “It makes me happy to see you relaxing, with a smile on your face.”

Avery felt her stomach cinch. “For now. The storm’s about to hit.”

“I know.”

Which was one of the reasons she needed to soak up the sense of peace and protection she’d always found in the home she’d grown up in. It was days like today when she wished she could transport twenty years into her past and return to that place of safety and innocence she’d always felt as a child. Where hot summer nights running around outside with her cousins, BBQs
on the back porch, and Sunday potlucks eating Nana’s turnip greens and sweet potato casserole were the norm. And the bad guy was no more dangerous than the imaginary boogeyman under her bed.

But life didn’t work that way, and she’d learned years ago that it was impossible to hide from the realities of the world. Which was why refueling her spirit had become so essential.

Her father sat down in the matching leather armchair next to her and leaned back, his legs crossed. “I told you this last night, but I want you to know again how sorry I am about Mitch. I know what it’s like to lose a partner. It’s not easy at all.”

“I know you understand, and it helps that I’m not going through this alone.”

“You’re never alone, Avery. Not in this family, anyway.”

Avery let out a soft chuckle. She’d agreed to take last night off and had managed to keep herself distracted by enjoying a quiet family evening with Tess, Emily, and her parents. They’d ordered takeout, played a few hands of cards, then sat around the table eating popcorn and talking about everything except what had happened. She’d have plenty of time to deal with the emotions surrounding Mitch’s death in the coming days, but after a week that had pushed her emotions to the brink, she quickly realized just how much she needed the break. She even laughed a few times at Tess’s attempts to lighten the mood as they all tried to pretend—at least for one evening—like things were normal.

But trying to forget had only worked for so long. She ended up sleeping little, reliving instead the shootout in the warehouse over and over, while her mind tried to figure out what had gone wrong. And what she could have done to stop what happened.

“So how are you doing? And I want the honest gut answer, not a flippant ‘I’m fine.’”

“The honest answer? I feel . . . lost.” She ran her finger down the crease of her Bible. “I’ve been sitting here, reading my Bible, and trying to find answers. Looking for a why to what happened yesterday.”

“And what answers have you found?”

“Not answers as much as the familiar reminder that even though life is tough—sometimes even dark and horrible—that doesn’t change who God is. He’s still in control.”

It was something easy to say but hard to truly grasp hold of and put into practice in her day-to-day life.

“That’s something all of us need to be reminded of daily. What else?”

She tapped her finger against the page she’d started reading. “I’ve never thought about comparing myself to King David, but in Psalm 18, he talks about pursuing his enemies. David was fighting a battle, and it struck me just how much I can relate.”

She looked down at her Bible and glanced at the passage she’d been studying the past thirty minutes. “David talks about calling out to God in distress and crying for help.”

“It does sound all too familiar, doesn’t it?”

“Yes, considering yesterday I was ready to walk away from all of this.”

“And today?”

“Part of me still is.”

“It’s the guilt for Mitch dying and your living. Guilt for what you could have done to save him. Anger toward the killer who’s still alive.”

“That sums it up pretty well. But then I started looking at David’s reaction. He said, ‘You armed me with strength, you humbled my adversaries, you made my enemies turn their backs.’ David completely relied on God to be his shield and salvation when his enemies were hunting him down, when his life and the
lives of others around him were at stake. I need to take this guy down, Daddy, and I realized today—not for the first time—that I can’t do it on my own.”

“None of us can.”

Avery slid the cloth bookmark into place, then closed the Bible. “There’s something else I’m struggling to do on my own. I didn’t tell you this, but Captain Peterson has ordered Mason Taylor to join our investigation.”

“And you don’t want his help.”

“I still believe he could be responsible for Michael’s death.”

“Maybe, but that’s not the way the department sees it.”

She shook her head. “Do you think he’s a dirty cop?”

“He might have bent the rules a time or two, but he and Michael were close friends, and I can’t see him betraying Michael. For now, I think you’re going to have to trust him, especially if the captain has placed him on your team.”

“I don’t think that’s something I can do. Trust has to be earned.”

“Then you need to keep your head up and be on guard, but give him a chance. He’s admitted that wrong choices were made that day. But you know as well as I do that it’s a whole lot easier to make decisions in hindsight. You’re going to have to come to the place where you can forgive Mason.”

“That’s going to be a tough place to find.”

“Sometimes forgiveness becomes more like a daily choice. It’s messy and often continues rearing its head like the bindweed your grandfather could never get rid of.”

“I’m not sure I even know how.”

“You can’t. Not on your own. You’ve lost a lot. We all have, but the bottom line is that it’s human to want vengeance and justice in a situation. And if we can’t have that, we want the answers. Forgiveness is a messy process that takes time to sort through, but think about the alternative. You let bitterness take
hold of you and it will ruin you. Your mother has let her loss consume her. I’ve had to think a lot about it over the past few months. I think there’s a good reason why Jesus told us that there shouldn’t be a limit to our forgiving.”

Avery turned her father’s words around slowly in her mind and tried to process them. She knew he was right, but forgiving Mason seemed comparable to David slaying Goliath at the moment. “I can’t make any promises, except that I’ll try.”

“I know you will, and in the end you’ll be a stronger person for it.”

Her father pressed his fingers against the arms of the leather chair. “While we’re confessing, something you said the other night made me realize that I need to take my own advice regarding my retirement.”

“What do you mean? Personally, you might still not be ready to embrace the idea of retirement, but I think it’s doing you good. You look far less stressed.”

“I might not admit that in public, but you’re right, even though the first couple of weeks I thought I was going to go crazy. But I spent some time talking with your mother and Pastor Philip and a lot of time praying. What you and I talked about the other night confirmed some things I’ve been thinking about. I’m looking at starting a second career.”

“A second career? Wow. I think that sounds great.” Avery curled her feet beneath her. “What exactly did you have in mind?”

“I’ve been talking to the captain about working for the department again, but this time as a chaplain. Pastor Berg is moving to Texas to be closer to his grandchildren, and they’re looking for someone to take his place. It would mean I stay busy and feel as if I’m making a difference.”

“You would be, and I think it sounds perfect for you.”

“Well, you’re the one who reminded me that I’m not too
old to start something new besides golf. You found room for Jackson. I’m going to find room for a new career.”

Avery smiled at her father’s confession. “The challenge will be great for you.”

Her father laughed. “I figure your mother and I have been volunteers with Downtown Rescue Mission for some twenty-odd years, so between all of the mentoring, counseling, and seminary classes I’ve taken on the side, I actually have experience in ministry that could be put to good use. I’ve already agreed to come in on Monday to be there for those involved in the shooting.”

Avery felt the sting of the reminder. “Starting with your daughter?”

“You know I’m always here for you.” Her father’s gaze dropped. “Which brings me to the next thing I wanted to talk to you about. I realized that just like it wouldn’t be right for me to ask you to walk away from Mitch’s case, neither is it right for me to ask you to walk away from Michael’s case.”

“You have every right. Michael was your son—”

“I know, but it’s also clear to me that you need this closure. And I respect your need to find out the truth about what happened to Michael.”

“I promise to keep what I find quiet until I have some solid answers.”

Avery’s phone rang. She hesitated before checking the caller ID. Unless it was from Tess or Jackson, she wasn’t going to answer.

“Go ahead.” Her father nodded toward the phone. “Maybe it’s good news.”

A moment later, Avery hung up the phone and grabbed for her shoes sitting beside her chair. “You were right. It was good news. We might have just gotten the break we needed in the case. A couple of officers just picked up Mrs. Sourn and had her brought back to the station.”

Avery slipped on her shoes and was picking up her car keys and bag from the foyer when Jackson and Tess stepped into the house.

“Hey.” Jackson’s gaze drifted to the keys dangling from her fingers. “You’re leaving?”

“They just called me in. They found Mrs. Sourn.”

“Mom. I thought you were supposed to be resting.”

Avery pulled Tess against her in a big hug. “Sorry, sweetie. We just got a break in our case, but I promise I’ll be back as soon as possible.”

“She’s right,” Jackson began. “You should be resting.”

Avery frowned. “I need to go, Jackson. You know that.”

“Then we’ll compromise. Let me drive you. We can pick up lunch on the way.”

“You’ve already done so much—”

“No arguing.” He took the keys out of her hand. “And besides, I’m volunteering.”

Her father stood in the doorway of the study. “Listen to the man, Avery.”

“Okay. I will.” Avery laughed, then hugged her father and Tess good-bye before slipping out the front door with Jackson.

“I appreciate your taking Tess to the house. I really did rest.”

“I’m glad.”

“Did you find Mrs. Whiskers?”

“We did, and she’s now safe and sound back in her cage.”

“She’s lucky. Where did you find her?”

Jackson hesitated on the last stair and shot her a sheepish grin. “She was sleeping inside one of your slippers.”

“Eww. She had to choose my room?”

“We made sure she didn’t leave any . . . presents behind.”

Avery laughed. “For that I’m grateful.”

Jackson slipped into the driver’s seat and started the engine. “Are you sure you’re up to this?”