November 22
Grace set up in the library. God knows there was enough room for her.
The light streaming in through a whole wall of floor-to-ceiling windows put her own small skylight to shame. Drake’s home was an environment she found conducive to work. Some invisible hand always lit a fire for her. The room was beautiful and utterly quiet. No one disturbed her. When she remembered to eat, there was always a trolley outside the door with delicious food.
She worked like a woman possessed. The violence of the attack at Harold’s gallery, the burning flare of sexual heat between her and Drake, the blossoming of tender feelings for him—all these things made their way from her soul through her fingers and onto canvas.
She lost herself totally in her work, at times stopping when she noticed her back aching, to discover she’d been painting for eight solid hours.
Drake secluded himself in his study all day, doing whatever mysterious things he did.
The day before, an elderly man had come and with quiet efficiency set up a makeshift yet highly professional photographic studio where she was working. He had a selection of wigs and glasses and was very adept at makeup. He must have taken a hundred photographs of her, in every possible permutation, some in which she barely recognized herself. Blonde Grace, brunette Grace, old Grace, studious Grace, slutty Grace…
Drake sat watching, impassive, as she changed personas, then quietly walked out the door with the man and didn’t come back to her until nightfall.
Each evening, he apologized for spending time away from her until she finally had to put her finger over his mouth and tell him to hush.
The truth was, she didn’t mind spending time alone. She was used to it, used to being able to dedicate herself wholeheartedly to her painting without distractions. And Drake was a huge distraction, in every way.
When he came to her, he filled her entire mental horizon. Everything was forgotten in his presence, as if he were this huge magnet that pulled everything in her to him.
The sex was almost frighteningly intense. She’d dreamed about someday finding a man she could be with, but in her daydreams, sex wasn’t that much a part of it. Truth was, the daydreams were puerile, like toothpaste ads, two people running in slow motion toward each other in a sunny field. Nothing like the dark, powerful, frightening, almost visceral tug between her and Drake. The sex in her fantasy—like those movie trailers for all ages—was bland and pleasant. Utterly unlike the mind-altering experience it was with Drake. Something that turned her inside out, turned her into a woman she barely recognized.
As if her thoughts of him had conjured him up out of thin air, there was a sharp knock on the door, and Drake looked in.
She put her brush in a solvent can and wiped her hands on a cloth, realizing that the palms had turned damp the instant she saw him. “Hi,” she said softly.
He didn’t answer, just walked to her. No, that wasn’t quite true. He didn’t walk, he
flowed.
Grace, strength, power, it was all there in the strides. And it was totally subconscious. She had no doubt that when he wanted to intimidate, he’d be a master at it. His body—his entire being—exuded power and an ability to erupt into devastating violence at a split second’s notice.
But he wasn’t trying to intimidate her in any way. His walk to her was simply the walk of a powerful animal in its prime, moving toward something it wanted.
Her.
It was right there in the gleam in his dark eyes that never once looked away from her face, in his ground-eating strides, the intensity that surrounded him like an almost visible aura. He was even smiling as he took her elbow and sat them down on the couch in front of the fireplace, lifting her hand to his mouth. He meant the smile, but it somehow looked unnatural on that hard, somber face.
He kissed the palm of her hand and curled her hand in his fist. “I have some things to see to, but I don’t want to stay away from you too long. Will you wait here for me? I love the thought of coming back to you here, right here, surrounded by your paintings. As a matter of fact, I thought maybe we could eat lunch in here.”
As if she could refuse him anything. That strength wasn’t just physical. His will was like a force field around him, almost shimmering in its intensity.
“Yes. Yes, of course I’ll wait here for you, if it pleases you.” She reached out with her hand to touch his wounded shoulder. “You’re not overdoing it? You shouldn’t be resting?”
Just like that, like throwing a switch, his aura changed. Became pure, animal sex. Those dark eyes gleamed, thin nostrils flared. She felt it on her skin, as if an electrical charge had washed over it, striking sparks where he touched her.
He leaned forward to kiss her on the neck, lips warm, breath hot. As he spoke, she could feel his lips moving. “My beautiful Grace. I am fine. Please do not worry about me. I do not need rest, I need something else. When I come back, I’ll show you exactly what I need. In the meantime…” He nipped her earlobe and a shudder went through her body. He took her hand and lay it over his groin.
My God. He was huge, so hot the warmth punched through even the tough fabric of his jeans. He slowly licked her ear and her breath came out in a shaky rush.
This must be life’s payback for having been so indifferent to sex all her life. She’d been like a locked door and it turned out that only this one man had the key. His mouth on her neck gave her goose bumps, made her back arch, giving him access to more of her.
As he licked her, dragging his teeth over her skin, her hand tightened around his penis. She wasn’t the only one affected by his mouth on her. Impossibly, as she ran her hand up the amazing length, his penis moved, thickened, lengthened even more. When she cupped her hand around the bulbous tip, discernible even through the jeans, his breath came out in an explosive rush of air that ruffled her hair.
“God,” he breathed. His big hand covered hers, trapping her hand over him. It wasn’t actually trapped, though. Her hand was more than happy to stay right where it was, feeling him moving beneath her. It was like touching a primeval source of energy. Strength, power, male potency. Her hand burned as the surges of blood rushed through him.
Each jump in her hand was met with a clenching of her internal muscles, an elaborate sexual dance she did only with Drake.
He licked her ear again, breathing slow and hard. His deep voice was low. “I need to go right now, or I won’t go at all. I wouldn’t leave you if I didn’t have to. But when I come back, I want you to remember what you’re feeling now.”
As if she could forget.
“Okay,” she whispered. She’d closed her eyes to concentrate on the feel of him in her hand and on what was happening with her body. She opened her hand and felt his lift from hers. He moved so silently she heard nothing. It was only when she heard the big door close that she realized he was gone.
Grace tipped her head back, eyes still closed, and simply concentrated on her senses. She’d ended up following Drake’s order and hadn’t put on any of the amazing collection of underwear she’d found in those boxes. The clothes she’d found had been exquisite, exactly the kinds of clothes she would buy for herself if she had the money.
The underwear, on the other hand…Well, wow. She’d never have had the nerve to buy what she found in those fancy boxes.
Bought on a tight budget, her underwear was plain, comfortable, white, stretchy cotton. A world away from the frothy silk and lace confections she’d found, incredibly sexy and revealing.
She’d pulled the lingerie from the boxes like Gatsby pulling out his shirts. No plain white cotton in these elaborately wrapped packages. None. Instead, all the colors of the rainbow.
Pink, lilac, pale yellow, taupe, teal, mint…the colors were simply exquisite. Every frothy piece looked delectable enough to eat. Bras, panties, teddies, silk-jersey tank tops, camis and tap pants and tee shirts and…slips! Whoever had done the shopping had old-fashioned tastes, because there were
slips
included. Grace had never worn a slip in her life. Her mother had never worn a slip. Slips were things people wore long ago, in movies. While carrying long cigarette holders and exchanging witty dialogue with someone like Cary Grant in a huge white bedroom.
She was tempted, though, fingering the fine satin slips with the lace bodices.
In the end, while choosing between a teal La Perla bra and panty set with lace insets and a gorgeous satin cami and tap pant duo, his words had came back to her.
Don’t wear underwear.
The silk, satin and lace just slipped from her nerveless fingers as she remembered him touching her. Remembered the feel of his hands on her. And suddenly another layer of clothes felt stifling and constricting.
So she’d gone without these past days. Her nakedness wasn’t visible of course, under the cashmere sweaters and soft wool pants. But she knew, and so did he. She felt everything so keenly against her skin.
Grace concentrated on what her senses were telling her, right now.
The softness of the sweater was a caress against her breasts. She was slightly wet between her thighs from fondling Drake. Without panties on, the wetness was as tangible against the sensitive skin as a kiss of cool air.
It was hard to feel the danger lurking just outside, because against all the odds, right now she felt so very safe and warm. Not just because she was in a fortress guarded by a small army of men, but also because there was…Drake.
He was the reason she was in danger. He was the reason no one would harm her.
Sitting on that magnificently comfortable couch, head tilted back, eyes closed, listening to the roar and crackle of the fire, Grace pondered her situation.
It had been clear to her from childhood that there were forces loose in the world much more powerful than she was. Forces that were indifferent at best, and at times even hostile to her. She wasn’t a child anymore, and could to a certain degree defend herself, or at least take precautions. But by the same token she also knew she was not a powerful person, able to cut a swathe through life.
All she had wanted was to be left alone to paint; she asked for nothing more. And if that meant a life that was a little lonely, so be it. It was all she had asked for.
Even that, now, was taken away from her, in that same whirlwind that had blown her into Drake’s arms. She wasn’t powerful but he certainly was, in every way there was.
Denying it was stupid, fighting it wouldn’t help. She was in Drake’s hands. Completely and utterly.
It was a good thing those hands looked so huge and strong. And it was an even better thing that they were protecting her.
There was absolutely nothing she could do about any of it.
It was like a little surrender, there on the comfortable couch.
November 23
A huge, complex mechanism was being set in motion.
There was some pain. Less than Drake would have thought, but still. After all, he was destroying a lifetime of work, everything he had built since he was a homeless boy on the streets of Odessa.
Drake had spent the past twenty-five years becoming stronger, faster, bigger and more powerful than anyone else. He’d sweated for his empire, bled for it, killed for it. And now it was going to crumble like sand and disappear down a hole.
Drake had turned it over and over in his mind, wondering whether what he was doing was too drastic, but in the end it came down to a stark truth. He could keep his life as it was, or he could keep Grace, but not both.
As long as he headed his empire, there would be men wanting to kill him. Once word got out that he had a weak spot, Grace’s days were over. It wouldn’t even be a quick kill, oh no.
It was the most terrifying thought in the world.
Long ago, Drake had made his peace with the thought of his own violent death. It seemed to him to be the only way he could die. The only question was when. To a certain extent, the thought didn’t even bother him that much, he’d been used to it since childhood.
But the thought of Grace in the hands of mobsters who would use her to exact revenge against him—it drove him insane. He could scarcely stay in the same place as the thought. It hurt him constantly, a painful jolt to the chest, as bad as a bullet wound.
Most of his enemies had grown up in places where women were treated like cattle.
The images came to him in sharp, slicing flashes that were physically painful. Grace—tied to a chair while they pulled her fingernails out. Grace—hanging from her arms while they cut her to ribbons. Grace—bound to a table, gang-raped for weeks, dispatched with a knife across the throat.
As far as he knew, Drake didn’t have a neurotic bone in his body. He was a cold realist, through and through. Those weren’t hallucinations. Those images in his head terrified him so much because they were a possible reality. They weren’t horror images from some nightmare you wake up from, but images from this world,
his
world, one mistake away.
What stood between these images of a broken and bleeding Grace and a healthy, laughing Grace was him. His strength and power. If he did this right, Grace would live. If he did it wrong, she’d die a screaming death, begging for it.
Entering the library silently in late afternoon, Drake stopped. Grace was resting on the couch, eyes closed, perhaps asleep. She’d been working nonstop these past days, producing remarkable work. Every once in a while she’d catnap on the couch in the library.
Coming in and seeing her on his couch made a sharp pain pierce his chest. For one terrifying moment, it felt like his chest was splitting open.
She was just so damned beautiful. All the other beautiful women he’d known and fucked—they vanished from his head like a cloud dispersing in a high wind.
Just look at her, he thought. Curled up on the couch, eyes closed, head tilted back.
The leaping fire loved her face. It washed the pearly skin with a pink glow, highlighted the high cheekbones, outlined the lush, full mouth. In the open vee of the sweater, the delicate collarbones cast tiny horizontal slashes of shadow. Her hair came alive in the glow from the hearth, the fire finding licks of flame in the shiny depths.
Everything about her was so delicate, even fragile. Those narrow, elegant artist’s hands were folded calmly on her lap.
Drake had once seen an Afghan warlord take a hammer to the small hands of a female servant who had spilled a little hot lamb stew,
qorma,
on his lap. Drake had been unable to stop him since they were in a room full of the warlord’s armed guards.
Later, it had been Drake’s distinct pleasure to find that warlord’s gross, misshapen head between the clean crosshairs of his rifle and gently pull the trigger.
He sat next to Grace, carefully, not wanting to disturb her slumber.
She wasn’t sleeping. She turned her head toward him, then opened her eyes. They gleamed like fragments of the sea in the penumbra.
He touched her face lightly. “Did I disturb you? I didn’t mean to.”
“No.” Her lips curved slightly. “I wasn’t asleep. I was just—thinking.”
His heart gave another painful hammer blow in his chest, only this time not with longing.
“What—” His voice was slightly hoarse. At some point, she was going to come to the realization that he had ruined her life. “What were you thinking about?”
“About the situation,” she said softly. Her eyes never left his. “I guess we’ll be here for some time, won’t we? I mean, this situation isn’t going to resolve itself anytime soon, is it?”
Never,
Drake thought.
“I’m sorry,” he said, wanting to say more, but nothing came out. Sorry was a ridiculous word for what she’d lost. A nothing word, totally unable to cover the damage he’d done to this beautiful woman. He’d put her life in danger, deprived her of her home; because of him a good friend of hers had died.
Sorry
was nothing, but it was the only word he had.
She nodded gravely, as if understanding everything that the word conveyed. There was no censure in her gaze, no anger, no rage.
Indeed, there was something there that angered him almost as much as the sons of bitches who had attacked them.
Resignation. That was what he saw. Resignation. Sadness. Acceptance.
It made him angry. Beyond angry.
This woman was magic. How could it be that there was no man in her life, protecting her from the shit that was all around? What the fuck was
wrong
with the men in Manhattan?
Well, she had a man in her life now, by God. Him. And he would sure as hell make certain she was kept safe and happy.
Grace lifted her hand, that long, graceful artist’s hand, and cupped his jaw. Her fingers were right on where the long scar had been. If she probed with her sensitive fingertips, she’d feel where the underlying tissue was still rent. Her hand traced where the scar had been as she watched him, frowning.
“What—” she began, but he covered her mouth with his. Ah, she tasted so good. Sweet and fresh. In a moment, her mouth opened to his. When he lifted his mouth for a second, she took in a deep shaky breath.
He tilted his head slightly and she did, too. The fit was perfect. So incredibly perfect. The heat of her mouth, the way she curved into him, the way his arm fit around her narrow back, the way her hair fell in a warm wash over his hand cupping her head, cascading over his arm.
Without breaking the kiss, he lifted her until she was on his lap, arms clinging to his neck.
Drake moved his mouth to her neck, to the sensitive place behind her ear that made her shiver.
His hand slid under the sweater, wide palm covering her stomach. Every time his mouth moved, her stomach muscles contracted.
He kept his hand on her belly and moved his mouth to her ear.
“Are you still obeying my orders, hmmm?” he whispered.
He loved it that she’d left all that expensive underwear in the boxes, so that his hands were only one layer of material away from her skin.
It excited him to see her in clothes he’d bought, looking so elegant and classy, and knowing that underneath she was bare because he’d asked her to be. He could barely keep his hands off her. Even when they weren’t making love, it was so luscious to slip a hand under her sweater and briefly stroke her breasts, just long enough to tighten her nipples. Know that he could easily touch her in that secret soft spot between her legs, feeling her growing instantly damp for him.
Each time he touched her, it took less time for her body to get ready for him. Now at times it only took the briefest of touches. Of course, the downside was that in her presence he was almost always semi-erect, just thinking of her naked beneath the clothes.
Like now. Only it wasn’t a semi-erection, it was the real thing, hard and aching.
Goose bumps broke out on her forearms when he licked her ear and she shivered. Thank God her body was on his side. No matter what her head might be telling her, her body was clear on what it wanted. “No underwear?” He prodded. “Hmm?”
Her eyes, heavy lidded, opened, blue-green slivers glowing in the darkness. “No underwear,” she whispered.
“Ah.” His hand moved up over the flat planes of her belly and cupped a breast. He had to be so careful here. His hands were strong, he didn’t want to hurt her in any way. Right now the biggest crime in the world would be causing her any pain at all. So he kept his touch softer than air, just a bare grazing of the satiny skin with his forefinger, around and around. When the back of his finger brushed over her nipple, she jumped. He nipped at her earlobe, loving the soft jolt. She was so incredibly responsive.
His finger ran over the nipple again, just a little harder. “Do you like that?” he whispered in her ear.
He could almost hear her smile. “If I said no, you’d know I was lying, wouldn’t you? You can feel what my body is telling you.”
Oh yeah, her body was shouting. The nipple under his finger had turned from a soft bud into a small, hard point.
His hand moved to her left breast, where he could feel the fast beating of her heart under his fingertips.
“Yes, your body is talking to me, Grace. I can hear it, feel it in my hands.” Another gentle rasp of his thumb over her nipple, followed immediately by a little shudder. “You like that. You like my hand on your breasts.” He pulled back, looking her in the face, hand gently cupping her breast.
She was flushed, the blood rising to her skin, warming it, puffing out a rich aroma of his soap and her woman-scent. Wonderful. It was all he could do to keep from putting his nose to her skin and sniffing like a dog.
“I like everything you do to me, Drake,” she replied simply.
Her mouth was flushed red, lips swollen and wet. When she spoke, he didn’t even hear her at first, he was following the movements of those lush lips so closely, fantasizing about them closing over his cock.
He felt an almost violent need to crush her to him.
Careful now
, he told himself and nearly laughed. The fact that he had to tell himself to be careful was so alien it was as if he were talking to someone else.
Drake was always careful, always. He never got carried away, never got out of control, never had to worry about hurting anyone unless he wanted them hurt.
He never hurt women, though, ever. It wasn’t in him.
He was always controlled during sex, always made sure the woman was wet enough to take him, always made sure his strong hands never bruised.
It had never been difficult. He’d learned to control his emotions and his body at an age so young he didn’t remember learning the lesson. Control was as deeply ingrained in him as his bones or blood. A part of him for as long as he could remember.
That control was now simply…gone.
He just looked at Grace, perhaps the most beautiful woman he’d ever had in his arms. And not just beautiful—an immensely talented artist. So gifted he couldn’t even imagine now having a home where her paintings wouldn’t have pride of place. So gifted, the little peace he’d had in the past year had been thanks to her. Amazingly, too, this woman with the gift of the gods in her hands had a good heart, as well. Was gentle and kind, instinctively so.
This was a woman in a million. He should treat her like porcelain, like glass that would shatter at his touch. He should get down on the floor on his knees as if before an angel.
Instead, crazily, his predator’s blood was up. He had to clench his teeth against a growl rising in his throat, a growl of possession, almost violent, like a war cry. His hands itched to grab her, hold her so tightly his fingers would be imprinted on her skin.
He wanted to rip those clothes off her right now, not even take the trouble to slide them off, but simply hook his finger in the collar of the sweater and pull. Put his hands on the pants and rip them off her. It would be ridiculously easy to do. He could kill a man with one blow of his hands; ripping material was nothing.
He could picture it, rending her clothes with a snarl of impatience, pulling her down on the rug in front of the fire, pulling her legs apart and up and slamming into her, whether she was ready or not.
He’d fuck her as hard as he’d ever fucked anyone, like a mindless beast, with the full strength of his body, pounding into her. He was so aroused, he would never stop at the first climax. He’d spurt into her, happy that it would make her wet, and then just continue slamming into her, for hours.
Oh God, he could feel that, taste it. He shook with the images that blossomed in his head. He’d fuck her until she was sore, then fuck her some more. Every cell in his body was screaming to have at her, with all the strength of his body, for as long as he could.
He’d hurt her.
If he did what he was shaking to do, he’d fucking
hurt
her. Hurt Grace.
It didn’t bear thinking of.
He’d controlled himself with hundreds of women who didn’t mean a thing to him. It had been easy, ingrained. This one woman, who meant everything, tested his control.