Dangerous Promises (8 page)

Still, there wasn’t much sign of life at the moment. She watched a teenage boy scuttle along one of the paths, his shoulders hunched, the hood of his jacket pulled over his head. He ducked into a doorway and disappeared. Across the far side of the estate, a couple of kids were throwing a football about.

Sadie turned and began to walk back along the street again. And then she stopped. What was she doing? The idea of kicking her heels for the next couple of hours was ridiculous. It wasn’t as if the shops were even open. And the longer she waited, the later she would get home tonight. It would be better, surely, to get it over and done with. Eddie might not take kindly to being dragged out of bed, but he would just have to live with it.

She stood there for a while in two minds as to what to do next. If she waited until eleven, she might catch him in a better mood, but what if she missed him completely? He might go out and not get back before midnight. And then she’d be stuck in Kellston for another day.

No, she was going to do it now. With the decision made, she took a deep breath, retraced her steps and walked boldly on to the estate. She tried to look confident as she made her way down the main path, keeping her head up and her shoulders back. Looking nervous or wary was only asking for trouble. It was too early, perhaps, for muggers to be on the prowl but she wasn’t taking any chances.

At the entrance to Carlton House she checked the numbers and found that 93 was on the ninth floor. She pushed open the door and entered the foyer, a chilly space that stank of piss and dope. The tiled walls were covered in spray-painted tags and the floor was littered with empty cans, cigarette butts and old crisp packets.

There were four lifts to her left, all with their doors open, and she viewed them dubiously. Two of them had pools of urine in the corner, but they all smelled bad. She hesitated, unsure as to what was worse: taking the stairs or taking her chances in one of the stinking metal boxes. What if the lift broke down and she was trapped inside? On the other hand, she wouldn’t be in much of a state to do anything by the time she’d climbed up nine flights.

On balance, Sadie decided that the lift was probably a better option. She chose the least noxious one, stepped inside and punched the button. As the doors closed, she felt a brief flurry of panic and was tempted to jump out again. It was only by gritting her teeth, by telling herself she
had
to do it, that she managed to stay put.

The lift slowly heaved its way up to the ninth floor as if every inch was an effort. Sadie held her breath, trying not to inhale the awful smell. When the doors finally opened again, she leapt out, went quickly to the edge of the landing and gulped in the cold morning air. She stayed there for a while, gazing down on the estate while she gathered her thoughts together.

‘Please God, let him be here,’ she muttered. She didn’t think she could bear the disappointment if the address was fake or if Eddie had taken off somewhere. And what if Nathan Stone had already tipped him the wink, warned him that she was on her way? Her not-so-beloved husband would have exited the building like a bat out of hell.

She frowned at the thought but then swept it aside. Better to stay positive, she decided, as she pushed away from the railing and began to walk towards the flat. She checked the numbers on the doors until she reached the one that said 93 Then without much more than a moment’s hesitation, she leaned forward and pressed the bell.

There was a short delay before the door was answered by a slender, hard-faced blonde in her early twenties. She stared at Sadie with suspicious eyes. ‘Yeah?’

‘Is Eddie in?’

‘Who are you?’

‘Just tell him Sadie’s here.’

If the name meant anything to the girl, she didn’t show it. Instead she yelled over her shoulder. ‘Eddie! It’s for you.’

Sadie felt a wave of relief. So Nathan Stone hadn’t screwed her over after all. The feeling was quickly followed by a tumble of others: hope and anxiety and anger. Her hands clenched into two tight fists in her pockets.
Keep your cool
, she told herself.
Don’t blow it.

The girl continued to stare with undisguised hostility until Eddie appeared beside her. He didn’t look that different from the last time Sadie had seen him. His hair was a little longer and he’d put on a few pounds but otherwise he was the same old Eddie.

‘Sadie!’ he said. There was a look of shock on his face, although he rapidly tried to cover it up. ‘Hey, how are you? What are you doing here?’

‘Can I come in?’

He hesitated but then beckoned her inside. ‘Sure.’

Sadie followed him and the girl through to a living room that was littered with cups and plates, pizza cartons, overflowing ashtrays, cans and newspapers. The room smelled of old food and fag smoke. Eddie, never a domestic god at the best of times, had clearly decided to give up trying.

‘You want a coffee?’ he asked.

‘No thanks. I’m not staying long.’

Eddie waved towards the sofa. ‘Take a pew then.’

‘You’re not an easy person to find,’ Sadie said as she perched on the edge of a grubby blue sofa. ‘Or have you just been avoiding me?’

Eddie assumed his Mr Innocent expression. ‘Why would I do that?’

‘I can’t imagine.’

The girl looked from one to the other before her gaze finally settled on Eddie. ‘What’s going on, babe? Who is she?’

Eddie grinned. ‘This is Sadie,’ he said. ‘I’ve told you about her. She’s the missus.’

‘But hopefully not for much longer,’ Sadie said.

The blonde girl narrowed her eyes as if whatever Eddie had said about his married life hadn’t been good. Still, that didn’t come as any surprise to Sadie. Eddie was an expert at rewriting history, especially when it came to painting himself in a good light. He probably hadn’t mentioned robbing her blind or the fact that he’d done a moonlight flit.

‘Look, Kelly,’ he said, ‘why don’t you go on home and I’ll give you a bell later?’

‘What for?’ she asked sharply.

‘’Cause I’ve got stuff to talk over with Sadie here.’

Kelly looked less than happy at the prospect of leaving the two of them alone. Perhaps she was worried that an old spark would be rekindled. ‘What kind of stuff?’

‘Divorce kind of stuff,’ Sadie said bluntly.

‘About time,’ Kelly said. ‘Eddie’s been —’

‘Come on, babe. Don’t start,’ he quickly interrupted. Picking up Kelly’s coat from where it had been thrown over the back of a chair, he handed it to her. ‘I won’t be long. Be a love and just give us some space, huh?’

Kelly’s mouth pursed. For a moment, Sadie thought she was going to refuse to leave, but then she shrugged on the coat and flounced out of the room. A few seconds later the front door slammed shut.

Sadie looked up at Eddie. ‘Still bringing joy to the ladies, I see.’

He sat down in the chair, flashing her one of his wide smiles. ‘You’re looking good,’ he said, ‘really good. But then you never had to try that hard.’

Sadie raised her eyes to the ceiling. ‘Oh, let’s skip the bullshit, shall we? I’m not in the mood. You know why I’m here so let’s just get on with it.’ She delved into her bag, took out the divorce papers and passed them over. ‘Here. All you have to do is sign and then I’ll leave you in peace.’

As if the papers were red hot, Eddie immediately dropped them on to the coffee table. ‘So what have you been up to? How are things going? Are you still living at —’

‘Eddie,’ she said impatiently, ‘I haven’t come for a chat. I haven’t even come to ask for my money back. I don’t want an explanation of why you did what you did. All I want is to be legally separated. That’s not too much to ask, is it?’

He took a cigarette from the pack on the arm of the chair, lit it and exhaled a thoughtful stream of smoke. ‘Maybe we shouldn’t rush into anything.’

‘Rush? Are you kidding me? It’s been almost five years.’

He pulled on the cigarette again and frowned. ‘Has it? It doesn’t seem that long.’

Sadie leaned forward and nudged the papers closer to him. ‘Just sign, please, and then we can draw a line under it all.’

‘I can’t.’

‘What do you mean, you can’t?’

‘I need to read it first.’

‘Fine,’ she said. ‘You go ahead and do that. I’ll just sit here and wait.’

But Eddie didn’t seem too keen on this idea either. ‘I can’t do it now.’

‘Why not? It’ll only take five minutes. There’s no money involved. It’s a straightforward split. I don’t want anything from you apart from your signature.’

Eddie pulled a face as if she was asking him for a kidney rather than a divorce. ‘I need to think about it.’

‘There’s nothing to think about.’

He gave a sly smile. ‘Why don’t you leave it with me, babe? I can post the papers back to you.’

‘What, in another five years? Come on, Eddie, I know what you’re like. As soon as I’m out of this flat, you’ll dump them in the bin and that’s the last I’ll ever see of them.’

‘I won’t. I swear.’

‘Why don’t I believe you?’ The question, of course, was purely rhetorical. Eddie couldn’t be trusted to come home of an evening, never mind complete some basic paperwork. She could feel the irritation growing inside her. ‘For God’s sake, you were the one who walked out on me, on our marriage. At least have the decency to finish things properly.’

Eddie gave a sigh, picked up the papers and stared at them. ‘Shit, babe, there’s a lot of words here.’

It occurred to Sadie, as she watched his eyes glaze over, that rather than being up early, Eddie probably hadn’t even been to bed yet. He had made a habit of all-nighters when the two of them were together and she suspected things hadn’t changed much. ‘Long night?’ she asked.

‘We went to see a band in Camden and then…’ As if his memory was blurred he pondered for a moment before giving a shrug. ‘A few bars, a party, and then back here with some mates.’

Sadie gave a wry smile. Yes, it was the same old Eddie all right. Still living for the day and partying every night. He’d still be doing the same thing, she suspected, when he was drawing his pension.

Eddie dropped the papers again and jumped up from the chair. ‘I need coffee,’ he said. ‘I can’t do this without coffee. Do you want one? Go on, you may as well.’

‘All right,’ she said, realising that nothing was likely to happen in a hurry. ‘Milk, no sugar.’

‘You don’t need to tell me. I remember.’

‘Things change,’ she said.

He stopped by the door, turned and looked at her. ‘Some things,’ he said, ‘not everything.’

While he was gone, Sadie had time to deliberate on how she felt about seeing him again. She was surprised by her lack of animosity. Somehow, now that they were face to face, she couldn’t summon up the energy to be really mad any more. Eddie was weak and feckless and selfish. He would always be that way. He was incapable of fidelity or honesty, and complaining about it was as pointless as complaining that the sea was wet.

She glanced around the room, which didn’t improve on a second inspection. A layer of dust covered everything, the carpet was stained and a pall of cigarette smoke hung in the air. There was a poster of The Clash pinned to the wall, one corner curling where the drawing pin had fallen out.

Eddie came back with two mugs of coffee and placed one on the table in front of her. ‘So, are you with anyone now?’

Sadie didn’t answer his question. ‘So, is it serious with Kelly?’

Eddie gave one of his shrugs. ‘She’s a laugh.’

Sadie found it hard to believe how intensely she had once loved him. It had been a young, mad passion, a fire that had blazed too brightly. In those heady days she had not been able to imagine life without him. She took a sip of coffee, staring at his face from over the rim of her mug. Where had all those feelings gone? There was nothing left but resignation and a soft lingering resentment. ‘Well, so long as she’s a laugh.’

Eddie sat back, watching her carefully. ‘I got in a bit of a mess, to be honest.’

‘Huh?’

‘Back then, when we were together. I shouldn’t have done a runner like that. It just all got on top of me.’

‘Poor Eddie,’ she said.

‘I’m a bit strapped at the moment but I’ll pay you back, every penny… when I get some cash.’

‘I won’t hold my breath.’

‘Since when did you get so cynical?’

Sadie widened her eyes. ‘Do you really want to go there?’

Eddie put out his fag and immediately lit another. ‘Still, we had some good times, didn’t we? It wasn’t all bad.’

‘No,’ she said. ‘Just most of it.’

Eddie flashed another of his wide smiles, placing his free hand on his heart. ‘Ah, don’t say that, babe. I’ll tell you what, why don’t we go and grab some breakfast and have a proper catch-up?’

‘Because I’ve got a train to catch. Just sign the papers, will you?’

Eddie flicked his cigarette in the general direction of the ashtray. ‘You know, I don’t think I’ve actually got a pen in the flat.’

Sadie took a biro out of her bag and threw it into his lap. ‘Here.’

But still he procrastinated. ‘Are you sure you really want to do this?’

‘I’m sure.’

He tapped the pen against his teeth. ‘It’s kind of final, though, isn’t it?’

‘That’s the point.’

‘I dunno,’ he said. ‘Maybe this isn’t the right time.’

Exasperated, Sadie decided to resort to desperate measures. ‘Have you been in touch with Theresa?’

Eddie assumed his innocent expression again. ‘Who?’

‘Theresa Rimmer. You remember – the girl who lived down the street in Tufnell Park, the girl you were shagging behind my back. Well, one of them anyway. Or maybe you can’t remember all their names.’

Eddie glanced away, his eyes shifty.

‘She came looking for you,’ Sadie continued, ‘but then she would, wouldn’t she, her being pregnant and all.’

‘I doubt if it was mine,’ he said. ‘She’d fuck anything, that one.’

‘Two of a kind, then.’

Eddie smirked. ‘It was a mistake. C’mon, we all make mistakes.’

‘You could always do a paternity test, sort it out once and for all. Perhaps I should give her a ring, let her know where you’re living now.’

Eddie’s face paled, his smirk quickly fading. ‘You wouldn’t.’