Dangerous to Her (14 page)

Chapter 15

M
attie tried to disappear into her seat as Dominic drove her car. After dealing with the police officers who’d arrived in response to his 911 call, he’d refused to let her drive home herself and she’d refused to leave her only method of transportation at Tony’s. Every few minutes, she felt his gaze on her, but she refused to acknowledge him until he took an exit towards downtown. She sat up. “Where are you—we need to pick up Jordan!”

“I called Jordan’s school. She’s fine. I’ve arranged for a plainclothes officer to pick her up and take her to her grandparents’ house.”

“What? How dare you!” Enraged, she grabbed the wheel, gasping when he pushed her away and pulled to the side of the road. As soon as he put the car in Park, she was on him, pounding him with her fists, slapping at his face. “I want my daughter. I need to go to her now!” she screamed.

“Stop, Mattie.” With sickening ease, he gripped her wrists and held her away from him. “Stop and think. We need to keep her safe and that’s the best way to do it.”

Her breath caught at his words. “Let me go.”

Slowly, he did. Sitting as far from him as she could, she rubbed her wrists, noting the way his gaze guiltily followed her movements. “You think someone would go after her at school?”

“We have no reason to think that, but I’m not taking any chances. Not with our daughter.”

The last two words flowed easily off his tongue. So easily, in fact, Mattie stiffened. “But you still think she’ll be safe at John’s parents’?”

“I’ve arranged for a patrol officer to stay with them. It was tough getting the man hours approved, but when I told the lieutenant about Judge Butler—” He faced the windshield and slammed a fist against the steering wheel before glancing at her again. “Taking her to her grandparents’ house is the best bet.”

“But you’re afraid whoever hurt Linda, whoever killed Judge Butler, is going to come after me next. That’s why I can’t stay with Jordan.”

He pressed his lips together. “I want to protect you both, Mattie.”

“And what do I do in the meantime?”

“You keep yourself safe until you can go to her. I’m not going to let what happened to Linda or Judge Butler happen to you.”

Judge Butler. At the sound of his name, she blinked rapidly, trying to stop the sudden flow of tears that gathered in her eyes. Cursing, Dom reached for her once more. She shook her head. Tried to hold herself stiff against him. But the instant Dom pulled her into his chest, she couldn’t contain her grief any longer. Like a decrepit building, already unsteady and brought down by a blast of dynamite, she crumbled. Sobs tore through her and her body heaved with her efforts to regain control.

“It’s going to be okay.” Dom stroked her hair and she grasped at his shirt, not understanding how her life had turned upside down so quickly.

“He’s dead,” she gasped out. “And why? Because he sentenced a horrible man to prison? And what about Tony? What if he’s hurt, too?”

“I have men looking for him now. They’ll bring him in.”

It was the way he said it that made her lean back. “He didn’t do it, Dom.”

He didn’t flinch from her gaze, but his eyes didn’t soften either. “Right now, we just need to make sure you and Jordan are safe. Okay?”

She nodded. After squeezing her hand once, he pulled back on the road.

They continued to drive in silence until Dom said, “It’s not just a job for me, you know.”

“What?”

“This assignment,” he clarified, still facing forward, his fingers gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles whitened. “I didn’t like lying to you. I don’t like lying in general. But undercover work exists for a reason. And this isn’t just another assignment for me. I have a vested interest in the parties involved.” He looked at her now, his gaze steady. “You. Jordan. Your brother. Joel. But in the end, you’re what’s at stake. And I’m sorry, but if it takes lying to keep you safe and keep a dangerous man in jail, I’ll do it every time.”

He faced forward again, leaving Mattie to stare at his profile, speechless. Despite his stark expression, she’d heard the emotion behind his words, as well as the resolve. Only what could she say in return? Even if he hadn’t lied to her, nothing had changed. Her sneering thoughts about his “super cop” mentality aside, she’d never doubted his ultimate goal as a cop was an honorable one. But it was still the goal that seemed to keep them apart. “Who’s Joel?”

“My ex-partner.”

“You said he was another reason this assignment is so important to you. Is Guapo after him, too?”

“Guapo killed him,” he said starkly. “Although some think he was dirty. That he killed himself.”

The car stopped and she realized they were in front of her house. He didn’t move, just continued to stare out the window. Moving slowly, she inched closer, reached out, and turned his face toward her. Her breath hitched.

His eyes were clouded over with pain.

“But you don’t believe that?”

Instead of answering, he pulled the door open, stepping out of the car so her hand fell away. Just like that, it was as if he’d flipped a switch, taking the man away from her and leaving only the cop. “I’m going to check inside. Wait here.”

He was back within minutes. “It’s all clear. Come inside.”

She followed him and stepped inside her house, feeling like she was dragging the world’s ugliness in with her. She turned toward Dom, who was watching her closely. “How can you stand it? How can you deal with this day in and day out?”

He frowned. “Somebody has to do it. And I can handle it better than most.”

Could he? she wondered for the first time. Or did he just think he had to for some reason? “Don’t you want more than that?”

She knew they were both thinking of Jordan at that moment.

“Wanting more doesn’t enter the equation. I do what has to be done. And right now, Mattie, I need you to answer some questions for me.”

“How about you answer a question for me first?”

Surprise flickered across his face, but he nodded.

“Would you have stayed with me, if you’d known about Jordan?”

He didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”

“Would you have been a cop?”

This answer came more slowly. “Probably not.”

“Would you have resented me?”

He didn’t answer for several minutes. Finally, he sighed and raked both hands through his hair. “I’d like to think not, but can I say for sure? No. Being a cop is who I am. Sometimes it feels like it’s all I am. But no matter what, I’d have taken care of you, if you’d have let me. I know that much.”

She swallowed hard, his answer sinking into her bones. She believed him. In fact, she’d never really doubted otherwise. Had it been wrong for her to deprive Jordan of her father because she’d selfishly wanted Dom to stay with her because of love and not obligation?

Walking to one of the living room bookcases, she pretended to straighten a picture frame. She stared at the picture of John and Jordan dressed as the Scarecrow and Dorothy for their last Halloween together. There was joy on their faces, but it had all been an illusion in the end. Ultimately, she and Jordan only had each other. Not even Tony was a sure thing.

Feeling utterly alone in that moment, she turned back to Dom, who was now staring at the floor, looking even more alone than she felt. His defeated posture reminded her that while she’d deprived Jordan of a father, she’d also deprived him of a daughter. Someone to give him hope when things were at their lowest.

“Why do people think Joel killed himself?” she asked.

His head jerked up. A slight flush colored his cheekbones, his calm façade cracking slightly. “Because that’s what the evidence suggests. Even Tawny, his wife… I saw the doubt in her eyes at the funeral. After Joel gave up everything for her, how could she—” His voice faltered and he glanced around the room, almost if he was looking for a way to escape. A place to hide before he let her get another rare glimpse of the man inside the cop.

She walked closer to him, refusing to let him hide. “Sometimes it’s hard for people to have that much faith in someone else. And fleeting doubt isn’t the same as betrayal.” She said it pointedly, taking his face in her hands when he wouldn’t look at her. “It’s not, Dominic.”

He tried to pull away, but she followed him, taking his hands.

“I’m not saying I—” he began.

“I know. But just in case, you need to remember what you do for a living. You are a cop. Like you said, your job is to cover every base. I understand now. I understand why you have to ask questions about Tony. Even me. And if you’ve had to ask questions about Joel, that’s okay, too. That’s how you survive. It’s how you do your job.”

He twisted his hands until he softly gripped her wrists, rubbing his thumbs against her pulse points, making her skin heat from the outside in. “He was my best friend—”

“And you loved him. You miss him.”

Not thinking of anything but wanting to comfort him, she rose on tiptoe and hugged him.

Dom didn’t return Mattie’s embrace.

Thoughts of Joel and Judge Butler and Mattie and Jordan were swirling in his head with enough force to make him dizzy. She clearly wanted him to release his tight grip on his emotions, and though it was slipping, he desperately held on to what was left. Being a cop meant having to suppress any emotion that would get in the way of the job. It meant having to view the evidence objectively and, just as she’d said, consider things you didn’t want to, even about people you loved.

Although he’d initially denied it, part of him had eventually questioned whether Joel had killed himself. As a cop, he’d had to, but the guilt still weighed heavily on him. She’d obviously seen that somehow.

Despite his stiffness, she didn’t back away. She simply held him and he let her. After several minutes, he realized the pain in his gut was gone. He could breathe a little easier. It was there—that same sense of “rightness,” of ease, that his body always felt when he was with Mattie.

It telegraphed loud and clear how much he needed her.

His heart pumped hard, shoving blood into his extremities. Making his fingers tingle. Making his skin heat.

Making him realize how lost he’d been without her and how lost he’d be if he let her walk away from him again. This time, with his daughter.

Instinctively, he rejected the very idea of letting his daughter go. But he’d been afraid of disappointing Mattie if he stayed with her. How much more would he disappoint a little girl?

Back away. Back away now.

But even as he braced himself to step back from Mattie, his body had other ideas.

He wrapped his arms around her, and buried his face in the curve between her neck and shoulder. Mattie stiffened at first, then slowly relaxed against him. He shuddered as her warmth and fragrance wrapped around him, gentle and comforting.

She raised her hands to his shoulders, then to his skull, petting him in slow, easy circles. “It’s okay,” she murmured. Her hands caressed his face and he pulled back to look at her. She kissed his forehead, offering him solace in a way he’d never experienced before.

In a way he might never again.

He kissed her, a light touch of his lips on hers, gone almost before it started. Then he did it again, gracing her jawline with one kiss after another. She shivered when he kissed the soft skin behind her ear.

“Dominic?”

“Shhh,” he said. “Not yet. Just let me—” He took her mouth again, this time with a fierce, almost desperate melding of lips and teeth and tongue. They’d been together only a few months before their split, and their reunion had covered mere days, but it felt like he’d wanted her forever. He’d never wanted anyone the way he wanted Mattie.

He tilted his head and took her from a different angle, deepening the kiss. His hands snaked under her shirt, making her jerk when his cool skin pressed against her warmth. She moaned and pulled him closer, her hands ripping at the buttons of his shirt, encouraging him to take more.

Forcing himself to leave her mouth just long enough to pull her shirt over her head, he immediately latched back on only to pull down her pants and underwear. She kicked them out of the way and undid his jeans, inserting a hand and cupping him until he gritted his teeth at the pleasure. Grabbing her wrist, he pulled her hand away, lifted her up until her legs wound around his waist, and speed walked into the bedroom.

Once there, he laid her on the bed and took in her splayed thighs and the treasure between them. Slowly, softly, he touched her. She was wet, so wet, and he instantly froze, eyes closed, trying to absorb every hint of sensation. Her head fell back, as did his own.

Their breathing synchronized, ragged and deep. He buried his face in her neck and parted her with his fingers, trying to reach into the very heart of her.

“Dominic,” she moaned, her voice rising just as she started to contract around his fingers, milking him with a firm, rhythmic squeeze of velvet and silk.

“So good,” he gasped. “You feel so good.” He pulled himself up to look at her, but her eyes were closed. “Look at me,” he grated, his voice sounding foreign to his own ears. Gravelly. Primitive. All pretenses shattered.

She did, but her eyes were dazed. “Let me touch you,” she whispered, trying to pull away from him.

He shook his head. “Bend your knees,” he encouraged. “Open yourself to me. All of you.”

She hesitated then complied, bending her knees, exposing herself, putting herself in his care. Gently, he pulled her toward him at the same time he scooped each leg onto one arm, and pressed her out and open until she was completely exposed to him. He gripped her wrists again and poised himself at her entrance.

“This is what I want. I want you to look into my eyes and know how desperate I am for you. That there’s nothing you can do, nothing you can say, that would stop me from wanting this.” He teasingly slipped just the tip of himself into her, shaking at the effort of holding back. “Tell me you want me.”

She struggled against his grip, trying to envelop more of him inside her.

“Tell me you want me. Tell me I’m all you’ve ever wanted. Me over you. Me inside you. Even if it’s just for the moment.”