Dangerously Hot (A Hostile Operations Team Novel)(#4) (10 page)

A tear leaked out of the corner of one eye and slid down her cheek. His heart twisted. He wanted to drag her into his arms and hold her close, tell her it would all be okay someday, but how could he do that? He had no right.

“I’m not going to tell you that he died doing what was right and therefore that makes it okay. It’s not okay. But he made a difference, Lucky. What he did made a difference.”

She sucked in a deep breath. “He deserved better.”

“He did, and we’re going to get those assholes and make them pay.”

She didn’t say anything. Her chin trembled, and he felt like an asshole himself. He wanted to give her the comfort she needed, but he didn’t know how to do it. She was vulnerable in this moment, and he knew he couldn’t take advantage of her emotional state. It wasn’t right.

Instead, he cleared his throat, hands on his knees, gripping them tight to keep him from reaching for her and saying to hell with it.

“Hey, you ready for some shopping? Let’s blow this joint and get you some warmer clothes.”

She swiped beneath her eyes almost angrily and then she gave him a watery smile that wasn’t quite genuine. “Now you’re speaking my language. What woman can resist an offer like that?”

He shot her a smile. “None that I know.”

She snorted softly. “That’s a lot of women, I bet.”

His grin widened, though he ached deep down. He didn’t want to play the part of the womanizer right now. He wanted to show her there was more to him than that.

But he couldn’t.

“Sure is.”

She rolled her eyes and he knew that teasing her was working. He wanted to tell her that he had feelings, but he kept them locked away for a reason. He’d seen the dark side of emotions. Seen the destruction they could cause.
 

In Kev’s world, sex with a variety of women was easy. It was love that was impossible.

CHAPTER NINE

Lucky sat in Kev’s truck and stared out the window at the darkening sky. They hadn’t said much of anything since getting into the truck back at HOT HQ. She closed her eyes and tried to catch a little sleep since her schedule was still so off, but all she saw in her head was the footage of the Freedom Force wreaking terror on innocent people. They had no scruples, no morals, no conscience. They blew up babies and old women just as easily as they did those whom they considered enemy combatants.

Lucky shivered.

Evil people. Al Ahmad was the worst of all. He wasn’t a zealot like some of his followers. He didn’t fight for a cause because he believed in it so much as he wanted to dominate weaker souls. And he wanted power. He was addicted to it. She knew it quite well, since he’d held the power of life and death over her for many days. Days she’d tried to forget but which still sometimes made her wake up in a cold sweat, a silent scream on her lips.

She gave her head a little shake and tried to push the images away. She wouldn’t descend into fear. She couldn’t. She had a job to do, and she was going to do it. With the help of this man at her side, and the other men on the team. She would find Al Ahmad in Qu’rim—before he found her. She had to, or more innocent people would die. He couldn’t be allowed to get chemical weapons. The things he would do with them would make all those videos look so simple in comparison.

Kev was looking at her with brows drawn low when he pulled into a parking slot at the mall. “You want to do this now or do you need to go home instead?”

Home
. The word slid into her brain and wound itself around and around. What was home? Where was home? It was a strange word to her. Always had been in so many ways. Because she didn’t feel like she belonged anywhere.

Not in Montana, not in the Army, not with Marco.

She’d called her mother earlier when she’d had a break. She could hear the triplets in the background, giggling and screaming as they watched some television show. They sounded so happy and carefree. Had she ever been that way? If so, she didn’t remember it.

“They have a horse show coming up,” her mother had said.

Lucky had made the appropriate response. Everyone in her family rode horses. She was terrified of them. Yet another thing that made her feel out of place.

She’d managed to explain she wasn’t coming for Christmas, that she’d been recalled to duty with the Army. Her mother had been upset at first, but Lucky explained how important it was. There were things happening in the Middle East, blah, blah, blah, and her language skills were important.

Her mother accepted it, but Lucky could tell she was disappointed. She’d hung up feeling like she’d said the wrong things, but not knowing what the right things were.

“Lucky?” Kev said, and she shook herself.
 

“No,” she said, remembering that he’d asked if she wanted to leave. “We’re here and I need warm clothes.”

They went inside the mall. Lucky thought Kev would leave her to do her shopping in peace, but he took Mendez literally and stuck to her side like glue the entire time.
 

She hadn’t been shopping for more than shorts, flip-flops, and T-shirts in months, but now she had to buy jeans and sweaters and boots. It took longer than she thought it would, but she finally had enough warm clothing—and in-between clothing—to get her through the days in DC before they went to Qu’rim.
 

In Qu’rim, her wardrobe would change again. Cool cotton clothing beneath a long abaya and a hijab. In truth, she looked forward to the Arab clothing so she could hide inside it. It wouldn’t protect her from Al Ahmad, but it would make it harder for him to recognize her.
 

“You hungry?” Kev asked when she finished paying for the last of her purchases.

Her stomach rumbled then as if to prevent her from saying anything but yes. “I could eat something.”

“Come on then. I know a place not too far from here.”

They piled into his truck with all her bags, and then he drove to a little restaurant sitting beside one of the many waterways that fed into the Chesapeake. It wasn’t Hawaii—too brown and cold for that—but the restaurant by the water was familiar in a way that nothing had been yet. She could almost relax—except that relaxing didn’t come easily to her since finding out Al Ahmad was still alive. The film today hadn’t helped.

“You okay?” Kev asked after they’d ordered.

She dragged her gaze from the leaden sky and fixed it on him. “Sure, why wouldn’t I be?”

He shrugged. “It wasn’t a great day for you. It’s a lot to get hit with at once.”

“I feel like the lives of so many innocent people depend on me. Yeah, it’s a lot to get hit with at once.” She took a sip of the soda the waitress put in front of her. “What if I can’t find him? What then?”

His eyes were hard. Determined. “You’ll find him. But even if you don’t, HOT will. We won’t let him get those weapons. We won’t let the region fall.”

She sighed. “We’ve been propping up the people we want to be in charge for decades in that part of the world, and it doesn’t always work out. You know that.”

“I do know it. But we’ve learned from those mistakes. Al Ahmad won’t win.”

“I wish I was as confident as you are.”

“Just do the work and stop worrying. That’s the part you have to learn. All you can control is the work, so be as strong and relentless as you can be when it comes to training. The rest will fall in place. We have good intel, we have the assets, and we’re going to get that bastard.”

He was so fierce and certain, and her heart swelled with emotion. But she wouldn’t tell him she didn’t find it as easy as he did to put the worry aside.
 

As if he knew what she was thinking, he reached out and took her hand. Once more, electricity pulsed through her veins at the touch of skin on skin. Kev’s skin. Her skin. Oh, it was almost more than she could bear.

“I won’t let him take you again. I swear it, Lucky. I’ll die before I let it happen.”

She squeezed his hand suddenly. “If you don’t promise me not to die, I’ll ask Mendez for another bodyguard. I won’t have you on my conscience.”

He smiled that soft smile of his. “Ah, babe, what you don’t understand is that all of us will behave precisely the same way. It doesn’t matter if it’s me or Matt or any of the others—we’ll die before we let Al Ahmad take you again.”

Lucky swallowed the lump in her throat. She knew that what he said was utterly true. HOT would, to a man, die to prevent her from being taken hostage by that madman. They all knew what she’d been through the last time, and they wouldn’t let it happen again.

It got to her in a way nothing else could. Her heart swelled with hot emotion. It was a combination of joy, anger, frustration—and something very like belonging.
 

“Don’t die, Kev. Swear you won’t.”

He reached up and ghosted a finger along her cheek, and she realized a tear had slid down it when her skin felt cool.
 

“I swear it. For you, I’d swear just about anything.”

Lucky blinked at him, her entire body hot and achy. Had he really just said…?

He looked down at their hands, and she thought he might pull away. But he didn’t. She found herself leaning toward him, so slowly, as if she were being pulled by a string. But he was the only thing she could see as her heart pounded and the blood throbbed in her ears. The restaurant fell away, the clink of silverware and porcelain and glass faded, the soft chatter of voices ceased. There was nothing but her and him and the silent pull of attraction that had them moving closer together.

Kev’s eyes dropped to her mouth then, his gaze focusing there while her skin sizzled beneath that hot look.

Her lashes dropped down as her eyes landed on his mouth. That hard, sensual mouth. She wanted to feel it against hers. She wanted it so badly. Maybe, if he kissed her, she’d feel alive again.

“Here you go, hon.” A plate plopped down on the table with a clang, and Lucky straightened with a jolt. After the waitress set their plates down and asked if they needed anything else, she walked away and Lucky finally managed to look at Kev.
 

His jaw was hard, his eyes completely cool now. He looked farther away from her than ever, and she wanted to scream in frustration.

“I’m sorry about that,” he said, his voice tight. “It won’t happen again.”

She didn’t know if he was talking about the almost-kiss or touching her cheek or what he’d said about dying. She wanted desperately to ask, but how did you ask something like that? Lucky dug her fork into her crab cake and shrugged as if it were no big deal.
 

But what would have happened if the waitress hadn’t interrupted?
 

***

Kev punched his pillow and flipped onto his back. He’d almost kissed Lucky. Right in the middle of a damn restaurant. For a few short moments, he’d forgotten why he wasn’t supposed to do so. Jesus.

If not for the waitress arriving when she had, Kev would have pressed his mouth to Lucky’s and taken everything he could get away with. He was such a bastard. He had to remember that she was vulnerable. Frightened. She was being forced to go after a terrorist who’d tortured her, an organization that had killed her husband, and she was no doubt feeling a whole range of emotions that made her especially vulnerable right now.

And he’d been ready to take shameless advantage of it. Because he was a dawg.
 

Take care of Lucky for me.

“Yeah, I know that’s not what you meant,” Kev said into the darkness. “I’m trying, Marco, but it’s not easy.”

It wasn’t just because Lucky was beautiful. She was, of course, but he’d never had a problem controlling himself with a beautiful woman before. It wasn’t even that he’d been attracted to her before Marco had expressed interest in her.

It was something behind those eyes. Something deep and wounded and hidden. Lucky needed protecting more than any woman he’d ever known, but she was also the least likely person to accept it. She hid her vulnerabilities from the world, but she couldn’t hide them from him. He’d always seen them, even before the Freedom Force had snatched her from a market in broad daylight. There’d always been something inside Lucky that drew him.

Something he wanted to explore. He wanted, quite simply, to drown in her. To take her in his arms and hold her close, to make her feel safe and sheltered. And then he wanted to peel her clothing off her body and explore every curve and line.

He was growing hard thinking about it. Kev threw the covers back and sat up with a curse. He’d go downstairs and work out for an hour or two, exhaust himself, and hope he could get to sleep without thoughts of Lucky rolling around in his head.

He stood in the dark and pulled on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt he’d thrown on a chair near the bed. Then he grabbed his shoes and started for the door.

A noise stopped him. He stood in the dark and listened hard, his ears straining for the sound. He didn’t expect anyone was trying to break in, not really, but it didn’t stop him from reacting like he’d been trained to react. He took everything as a threat until he determined otherwise. It was safer that way.

This time when the noise came, his heart fell into his toes.
Lucky
.