Dangerously Inked (11 page)

When she opened for him, he slipped right in, tasting her, needing her. His hands went into her hair and he held her face to his. He couldn’t kiss her hard enough. Couldn’t tell her with his mouth all the things he had no idea how to say.

He had to find a way.

He pulled back. “I have to take you out of here. I’m taking you with me to Mick’s.”

“Yes,” she said. “Get me out of here, Finn.”

He had her out of the chains in minutes, helped her dress, packed his toy bag. He had one of the dungeon assistants call for a cab, and he put her in it, got in beside her, held her small hand in his.

At Mick’s place he took her upstairs and into the bedroom that was his while he was in town, his friend staying with his girl Allie. He stood Rosie on the white faux fur rug at the foot of the sleek, modern platform bed and undressed her quickly, undressed himself and pulled her with him into the bed.

How was it that after their night of kink all he wanted was to be in bed with her, to hold her, to feel her body under his?

He held himself over her, not wanting to crush her at first. But after looking into her eyes and seeing so much there, he had to feel her flesh, her bones, against his. He lowered his body, kissed her neck, her shoulders, her cheeks, then finally her mouth.

She hung onto him, her hands on his cheeks, kissing him with the same desperation he felt. Their bodies heated, her hips arching into his. He grew hard, harder, ground against her mound, both of then moving to some sinuous rhythm, hotter and hotter. He paused only long enough to sheath himself, then he was inside her.

He groaned. She moaned softly, gasped when he tilted his hips, burying himself in her sweet body.

“Christ, Rosie,” he muttered. “Ah, you feel so damn good. Never felt anything like you, girl.”

“Finn, I need you,” she said as she arched harder against him, taking him deeper.

He needed her too. Her body. Her scent. 
Her
.

Her hands were all over him, skimming over his back, her fingertips digging into his flesh. Pleasure swarmed him like a warm tide. He slid his hands under her perfect ass and held on, lifting her into his surging cock.

He felt her shiver, her sweet pussy clenching around him. He went tight all over, crushed her mouth beneath his as he came with her, both of them crying out, shaking as they held onto each other. Gave to each other. His body, his mind…his heart, damn it.

It was true. He fucking loved her. Loved her.

Love her.

He wrapped her in his arms. They panted together. Breathed each other in, their mouths only inches apart.

She was his, damn it. He wouldn’t have it any other way.

Rosie belonged to him. He had to tell her. But not now. Now it was just their breath, their bodies, everything twined together.

He didn’t know what he would do if she didn’t feel the same.

Don’t think about it.

He knew he didn’t how to do this. But he 
had
 to. Had to be with her. He would figure it out.

“Finn,” she said quietly, “hold me tighter.”

How could he do anything else when it was what he wanted to do forever? Holding Rosie. Pure heaven. The rest could wait.

***

When she woke the sky was a pale sheen of mist outside the windows. Where was she? Oh yes, Mick’s place, where Finn was staying.

Finn.

He was warm beside her, one big, tattooed arm flung over her stomach. She wanted to curl into him with every fiber of her being. Almost….except for the one small part of her that was filled with fear.

If she gave herself to him in the way she yearned to so much it made her stomach ache…what then? It was the unknown that made her afraid. Or maybe it was what she knew about herself.

She looked at his sleeping form, at the strong planes of his face, the plush softness of his sleeping mouth. The delicacy of his eyelids—how had she never noticed before?—in the misty light of dawn. It made her heart ache.

She’d spent so much of her life closed off to any real connection, other than her family—Henry Lee and Christie—and her friends. And Henry Lee’s cancer had really scared the piss out of her. Loving someone was such a tenuous thing, when it could so easily be taken away. Did she dare open herself to that possibility?

Her heart was a thudding beat against her ribs. She was panicking, she knew. But she couldn’t stop it.

He was too….everything. Gorgeous and commanding and sometimes so honest it tore at her. She couldn’t have him. Couldn’t have what the silly, girlish part of her hoped for too damn desperately. Not with him. And not 
her
.

She wanted to cry again. She bit back the tears.

You have only known him for two weeks.

You know him in a way you’ve never known anyone. On a soul level.

So stupid. You are so stupid.

She slipped out from under his arm and got out of the big bed, the air cold on her naked skin. She found her clothes on the floor, got dressed while watching him sleep. But it was too hard and she had to turn away. She found her shoes and crept through the apartment, then stopped at the front door, her hand on the old wood.

Can’t do this.

She swallowed down a sob as she slipped through the door and shut it behind her.

***

He’d called and texted her a dozen times in the last few days. She wouldn’t answer him. She couldn’t. She knew if she did she would crumble. Beg to be with him.

He’d begged her. To talk to him. To think things through. He hadn’t said he wanted to be with her, but she thought she understood the subtext of all his messages.

She could not allow it. It would only end in disaster. Wouldn’t it?

Etta had called, then called again when Rosie hadn’t answered her. When she left a late-night message on the Midnight Ink voicemail asking Sassy to cancel all her appointments for the next few days, Sassy had called and demanded to know what was going on. She hadn’t returned her calls, either.

It was easier to stay wrapped up in her blankets on the big bed in her living room, watching old movies, pretending not to cry. But she’d gone through an entire box of tissues.

She didn’t want to be 
that
 girl—she never had been. And it only went to prove how awful things could get if she risked allowing herself to tell Finn how she felt. If she even risked telling herself how she felt.

Did she even fucking know?

She grabbed another tissue and blew her nose. Fucking awful.

There was a loud knock at her door and she hit the mute button on the remote, silencing the black and white images on the television screen.

Could it be him?

Please no.

“God damn it, Rosie. Open this door or I swear I will break it down!”

Sassy.

She got up and went to the door, leaned her ear against it. “I’m fine. Just…please go, Sassy.”

“You must be joking. I’m not going anywhere, girlie, You may as well let me in.”

“Sassy…”

“Open the fucking door, Rosie. 
Now
. I’m not going away.”

She blew out a breath. She knew her friend well enough to know she meant what she said. She unlocked the door and stepped back as she pulled it open.

“Well, don’t you look like death warmed over.”

“Thanks for that.”

But she knew it was true. She hadn’t showered since she’d left Finn asleep in Mick’s bed. She was in the same flannel pj’s she’d gotten into when she came home the other morning and she was sure her hair was a wreck.

Sassy grabbed her by the shoulders and looked her in the eye. “You’re going to take a shower, missy, while I make you some coffee. Then we’re going to have one hell of a talk. Don’t even think of arguing. Go!”

“Jesus, Sassy. Yes, ma’am,” she muttered as she shook free and turned toward the bathroom.

“You can give me all the shit you want as long as you do as I say,” Sassy called after her.

Rosie grumbled as she got undressed, letting the water heat up. She stepped in and soaped herself, rinsed and began to wash her hair. A moment later she heard Sassy come into the bathroom.

“Coffee is brewing. Now talk.” When Rosie hesitated, Sassy repeated herself. “Talk, girlie.”

“Fuck, Sassy.” She ran her head under the spray of hot water, wiped her wet hair from her eyes and ran some conditioner through it. “This is so ridiculous. I 
know
 it is. But I can’t…I feel stuck here. Stuck here without him and hating it. Hating that I feel this way.”

“What way is that?”

Pain wrenched her stomach. “Like I can’t stand to live without him. Like I don’t want to go a day without talking to him ever again. Seeing him. Touching him. Like even the kink and the sex take a back seat to…to the rest of him. The rest of 
us
. Except there is no us.”

“Only if you don’t want there to be,” Sassy said.

“What do you mean? I’m sure he’s done with me by now.”

“Really? Because that’s not what he says.”

“He says…?” Her pulse went hot and thready. “What are you talking about?”

“He called me at the shop yesterday. Today he dropped by to see me, trying to find out where you were, if you were okay. He was going to come over here himself but I made him agree to let me talk to you first. See what a good friend I am?”

“Sassy—you can’t let him come here!”

“Not that Finn’s the kind of guy anyone has any control over—and I think you know that better than anyone—but you wanna tell me why not?”

The tears burned her eyes. She swallowed them down. “Because if I see him I don’t think…I can turn him away. And I’ll say something idiotic and spoil my whole life, that’s why.”

“Did that sentence sound as stupid to you as it did to me?” Sassy asked.

Rosie sighed. “Yes.” She shut off the water. “Hand me a towel, will you?”

She grabbed the fluffy white towel Sassy passed through the shower curtain and began to dry herself. She was trying not to think about Finn hunting down information about her but failed miserably.

He wanted her.

She couldn’t allow herself to want him.

“Rosie, I have something to say and you’re not going to like it.”

“Thanks for the warning,” she muttered as she stepped out of the shower.

Sassy was sitting on the closed toilet. “You remember when we found out Henry Lee was going to survive? When they cleared him of the cancer? How you said it was one of the defining moments of your life?”

“Of course.” Rosie slathered moisturizer on her face, wondering where this was going.

“Do you remember how you said it made you realize that you’d been a closed shell most of your life? How almost losing him made you see that the only really important thing was the people you cared about?”

Rosie dropped her hands, bracing them on the edge of the sink, her head bowed. “Yes,” she said quietly.

“Well, I hope you do. Because I think you care a lot about Finn and he’s going to be here any minute.”

Her head came up. “What? How could you do this to me?”

Sassy stood and patted her cheek. “Because I’m your friend and I love you. Now get dressed. You have about two minutes before I let him in.”

“Shit. Shit! Sassy!”

“You can thank me later, babe,” Sassy said over her shoulder as she walked out of the bathroom.

Her head was buzzing as she ran her hands through her wet hair, then grabbed the only piece of clothing on hand—her short, pink cotton nightie that was hanging on a the hook on the back of the door.

“You’re on!” Sassy called from the living room.

“Rosie?”

Finn.

“Go away, Finn,” she said, even though every muscle in her body wanted to wrestle with her to shut up.

“Not happening. Come out here and talk to me.”

“Shit,” she muttered. She glanced at her reflection in the mirror. “God damn it,” she huffed before turning to head into the living room.

There he was—his enormous frame seeming to swallow up her small apartment. God, he was something. Beautiful man. So beautiful it felt as if the air had been sucked from her lungs. It was several moments before she noticed how haunted his eyes were.

“I had to see you,” he said.

She started to shake her head, to look away, but he was at her side in a moment. “Rosie, don’t. I have something to say to you. Maybe you don’t want to hear it. Maybe you won’t believe me. Hell, I hardly believe me. But I love you.”

“Finn…”

“I know. Insanity, right? Right. But it’s the fucking truth.”

“Finn, no.”

“Rosie, yes!” He took her hand, held it tight. “You can’t tell me you don’t feel something, too. Alright, maybe it’s not love, but it’s 
something
. I’d know it even if you hadn’t run out on me the other morning. But there has to be a reason why you did it, and don’t bother trying to convince me it’s that you’re bored with my company.”

She yanked her hand away. “I’m fucking scared, okay? It’s been two weeks and I’ve never…” She stopped, shook her head.

“Never what?” he asked quietly.

His face looked so torn…it tore at her chest. She couldn’t lie to him. She couldn’t lie to herself.

“I’ve never felt this way. About anyone. I’ve never let myself. I know there’s something wrong with that…with me.”

He took her hand again and she let him. Needed him to in a way that made her heart break.

“Rosie, what happened to you? Really? You’ve told me some but I know it’s not the whole picture”

She bit her lip. “Okay. Okay. You want to know? I’ll tell you.” There was fire burning in her veins. Anger. It wasn’t him she was mad at. But the realization that her past was still affecting her—determining her actions, her beliefs, her 
life
—was not only pissing her off, but she had some understanding that Finn needed to know. Deserved to, maybe.

“I had this perfectly fucked-up life. My parents, my sister I could never measure up to no matter how I tried. By the time I was thirteen I was done trying. And when that asshole tried to rape me in high school? Sure, I fought back. I didn’t let it happen. I testified in court and sent his ass to jail so he wouldn’t do it to anyone ever again. But I was…tainted. My parents never let me forget. They never said it.” She stopped, wiped an angry tear from her cheek. “But it was always there. Every time they looked at me.”