Daniel's Desire (16 page)

Daniel looked into his mother’s eyes and saw heartbreak, but he could barely sympathize. He was too caught up in his own sense of guilt, even though he knew it was ridiculous. He and Patrick hadn’t been given a choice back then. They hadn’t asked to be the ones chosen to stay behind. He glanced at his twin and saw that he was struggling with some of the same emotions. Because they’d been barely more than
babies, because they’d been helpless and needy, they’d gotten to stay with their parents.

“If Patrick and I hadn’t been born,” he began.

“Don’t you dare go there,” his mother said, cutting him off. “You and Patrick brought such joy into our lives.”

“More than Ryan, Sean and Michael had?” he asked.

“You can’t trade the joy of one child for another,” his mother responded.

“But you did,” he reminded her. “That’s exactly what you did.”

He felt Molly’s hand squeeze his, but it was scant comfort. He looked at his older brothers. “I’m so sorry.”

Ryan scowled at him. “You have nothing to be sorry for. Don’t be crazy. You and Patrick were barely two when all of this happened. I can see why Mom and Dad felt they had no choice but to look out for you.”

“You can?” his mother said eagerly.

Ryan nodded slowly. “I look at Caitlyn now and know that I could never abandon her when she’s so young. I think about the way I was at nine and I was tough. The truth is, I did make it—not without a lot of mistakes, but I made it.”

“That’s what we counted on,” their father said.

Ryan held up a hand. “Wait, now. I’m not saying I agree with your decision or even that I can forgive it, but at least now I can understand it a little better.” He looked around the room. “I think we’re all pretty well wiped out now. Why don’t we call it a night and sleep on all of this, maybe talk again in the morning?”

“What’s left to say?” Connor Devaney asked.
“I’ve told you what happened and why. I won’t spend the rest of my days trying to defend it.”

“And we’re not asking you to,” Ryan said.

“But we need to keep talking, Dad,” Daniel said. “I don’t want to lose this chance to know my brothers, and I don’t think you want to lose this chance to know them and their wives and their children…your grandchildren. Please agree to come back tomorrow.”

“We’ll be here,” his mother said, giving his father a look that dared him to challenge her.

Connor sighed. “If it’s what your mother wants, we’ll be here.” He glanced at Molly. “I don’t suppose you still have your grandfather’s recipe for waffles, the old-fashioned kind?”

Molly grinned. “I do indeed. I’ll make up a batch.”

Caitlyn, who’d been half-asleep in her grandfather’s arms for some time now, woke up in time to hear. She clapped her hands together. “I love waffles.”

“Me, too,” Kevin chimed in. “I can eat three of them.”

“I can eat more,” Caitlyn said.

Daniel saw his mother’s eyes turn misty. “Mom, what is it?”

“They sound just like Ryan, Sean and Michael and the way they tried to outdo each other. It takes me back,” she said. She smiled at Molly. “Something tells me you’d best be prepared to make a lot of waffles in the morning, but I wouldn’t be surprised if quite a few of them wind up needing to be thrown out.”

Molly squeezed her hand. “Not a problem.”

“Just be sure I get mine first,” Daniel said.

Molly rolled her eyes. “You really do need to learn to share,” she scolded.

“Yeah, Daniel. I’ve been telling you the same thing for years,” Patrick chimed in.

Suddenly the room was alive with teasing banter and laughter. To hear their wives tell it, sharing seemed to be a problem for all of the Devaney men.

Daniel leaned back and listened, suddenly content. It was noisy and chaotic, but he had Molly beside him and his family all in the same place. It wasn’t perfect, but it was real. This was it. This was the way a family was supposed to be.

And God willing, it was the way his family would be from now on.

M
olly had spent the entire morning making waffles. Even though she’d been running Jess’s for years now, she’d never dealt with so many men with such huge appetites and the streak of competitiveness that seemed to drive them all to try to outdo each other.

Tired as she was, though, she couldn’t help feeling satisfied that she’d had a small part in this reunion that meant so much to Daniel. She stood behind the bar and watched him with his brothers. There was still a certain reserve there on his part. She knew that came from his self-imposed and unwarranted sense of guilt over what had happened to them, but Ryan, Sean and Michael were slowly chipping away at it.

They were good men, she thought. And in time they would forgive, if not forget, what Connor and Kathleen Devaney had done to them. As their families grew and everyday stresses came along to challenge them,
their understanding of that impossible choice would deepen, too.

She was putting away the last of the glassware when Daniel slipped up behind her and put his arms around her.

“You’re awfully quiet this morning,” he said. “Everything okay?”

She smiled. “I like watching you with your family. I always liked being with your folks, but it still seemed as if something was missing.”

“It was,” he said quietly.

“I think they’ve made progress this weekend, though, don’t you?”

“I do,” he said. “Michael’s even lost that edge to his voice. And Caitlyn and Kevin are so enthralled with their new grandparents, who seem intent on spoiling them rotten, that they won’t let Ryan or Sean be strangers.”

She turned to face him. “You must be happy.”

“I am,” he said.

But Molly heard the hint of hesitation in his voice. “Daniel, stop blaming yourself. It’s crazy.”

“I know,” he said. “In my head, I can hear how ridiculous I sound when I say it. I was two, for goodness sakes.” He patted his chest. “But in here, I feel so responsible for costing them so much.”

“Stop it,” she said. “They gained a lot, too. And now you all have a chance to have what you should have had from the beginning, a whole family.”

He grinned at her. “You’re so smart.”

“I know.”

“And sexy.”

“I know that, too.”

“Think anybody would notice if I kissed you?” he asked.

“Do you care?”

He touched her cheek, his gaze darkening. “No. Come to think of it, I don’t.”

He settled his mouth over hers, kissing her in a way guaranteed to have her blood heating and her heart pounding. Her head was spinning when she heard the first hoots and shouts.

Daniel started to withdraw, then grinned. “Ah, what the hell?” he said, and picked up where he’d left off.

When they finally separated, Connor was standing next to them. “Son, you kiss a woman like that in public, you’d better be making a declaration,” he said. He was scowling, but there was a definite twinkle in his eyes.

“I suppose I am,” Daniel said, returning his father’s gaze evenly.

A grin spread across Connor’s face. “About damn time,” he said, then lifted his glass. “To Molly and Daniel.”

“Dad!” Daniel protested. “Hold on.”

“What?” Connor asked.

“She hasn’t said yes yet.”

Molly blushed when Connor Devaney turned to her with blue eyes exactly like his son’s.

“Well?” he demanded.

She wasn’t about to let the two of them bully her into a quick reply. “I haven’t heard a proper question yet,” she said mildly.

Daniel’s father grinned. “Guess that kiss didn’t pass the test, after all, son.”

Daniel frowned. “It was a perfectly fine kiss.”

“It was,” Molly agreed. “But I think the occasion
calls for words, don’t you? You’re a glib Irishman. Surely you know how to woo me.”

“Come on, Daniel,” Patrick hollered. “Let’s hear the pretty words. I’d kinda like to hear you do a bit of groveling.”

“Yeah, Daniel,” his brothers chorused.

Molly took pity on him. “You don’t have to let them push you into anything you don’t want to do,” she pointed out.

“I want to do this,” he said grimly. “I just hadn’t expected to have an audience, but I suppose it’s fitting that I do this right here and now, in front of the family I’ve wanted reunited for so long. They’re proof that dreams can come true and that odds can be overcome.”

Caitlyn chose that moment to join them. She gazed at her uncle with wide eyes. “Momma says you’re gonna propose,” she announced, drawing laughter. “Are you?”

Daniel grinned weakly. “That seems to be the plan.”

Caitlyn nodded. “Okay. You got a ring?”

“As a matter of fact, I do,” he said, catching Molly completely off guard.

“Can I see?” Caitlyn asked.

Daniel sighed heavily and drew a box out of his pocket, but held it just out of the child’s reach. “I think Molly should see it first, don’t you?”

“How come?” Caitlyn asked.

“Because she’s the one I’m asking to marry me,” Daniel explained, his gaze seeking out Molly’s.

Caitlyn seemed to accept that. She, too, gazed at Molly expectantly.

“Well?” Daniel prodded.

Molly wasn’t quite ready to take pity on him yet. She turned to the crowd. “Did you hear a question? I didn’t hear one.”

“Neither did I,” Maggie said.

“None I recognized,” Deanna agreed.

“Come on, son,” Connor urged. “My drink’s getting warm, while you fiddle around.”

Daniel rolled his eyes. “Like there isn’t enough pressure,” he muttered, then sucked in a breath and regarded her with a serious expression. “Molly Creighton, it looks as if the time and place have been chosen for me to say this, but it’s been in my heart for a long time now. I love you.”

Molly felt her heart fill with joy.

“You complete me,” he continued. “We’ve had our share of struggles, but we’ve grown stronger because of them. I doubt there’s anything we can’t weather as long as we’re together and have faith in what we feel at this moment. Please don’t be put off by this roomful of Devaneys. Something tells me they’ll bring a lot of happiness into our lives.” He glanced over his shoulder. “One of these days, anyway.”

“If it would help you out, we could offer testimonials,” Maggie called out.

Daniel waved her off, fighting a grin. “Thanks, Maggie. I’ll handle this. Like Patrick said, I have some groveling left to do.”

Molly fought a smile. “When, exactly?”

“Now, dammit. Stop rushing me.”

She held up her hands. “Sorry.”

He drew in a deep breath and lifted his gaze to meet hers. “What I’ve been trying to say so that you won’t doubt it is that I love you. I always have, even if I
acted like a fool a while back and lost my way. I’m praying with all my heart that you’ll look past that and that you’ll love me enough to marry me, to share this family with me, to have a family of our own. I know it’s been a long time coming, but will you marry me, Molly?”

Molly swallowed hard and blinked back the sudden sting of salty tears. “Yes,” she whispered, barely able to get the word past the lump in her throat.

“Can I see the ring now?” Caitlyn demanded impatiently.

Molly laughed. Being part of this huge family that was still struggling to find its way was going to present challenges, but as long as Daniel was by her side, every moment would be worth it.

She winked at Caitlyn, then said, “By all means, Daniel, show us the ring.”

It was a simple emerald-cut diamond in a platinum band with baguettes on either side. It was gorgeous, far too beautiful to put on her work-roughened hands. She hesitated before holding out her left hand. Daniel slipped the ring on, then kissed her knuckles as if to put her self-consciousness to rest.

“I have another present,” he said. “But it’s for Retta and you.”

“Oh?”

“I bought a dishwasher, so neither of you will spend half your lives up to your elbows in hot, sudsy water again.”

Molly laughed. “Who said the man wasn’t a romantic?”

Connor slapped him on the back. “Now, where was I?” he asked, lifting his glass again. “To Molly and
Daniel, may there be years of happiness ahead of them.”

Molly found her own half-filled glass on the bar and lifted it. “To the Devaneys,” she said, fighting tears. “I hope that you’ll continue the long journey back to each other. No matter the tears you’ve shed or the aches in your hearts, in the end you’re family. I hope you come to find pride and joy in that.”

Daniel’s mother smiled at her. “Amen,” she said softly, then looked at each of her sons in turn.

“Amen,” Ryan said.

One by one the others chimed in, then looked to Connor.

“To the Devaneys,” he said, his voice choked. “Together again.”

T
he baby in Molly’s arms squalled loudly enough to shake the rafters of the old church. Next to her Daniel grinned.

“If that’s the way Patrick and I were, it’s a wonder Mom and Dad didn’t leave us behind in Boston,” he said, gazing down at baby Connor, then letting his gaze drift to Molly’s rounded stomach. “Do you suppose our firstborn is going to be as noisy?”

“Oh, I imagine we can count on that,” Molly told him, just as Alice came rushing into the church to claim her son.

“Sorry,” she apologized. “Kathleen was fussing up a storm, too.”

“Where is our goddaughter?” Molly asked, even as she handed over her godson.

“With Patrick. He has a soothing effect on her,” Alice said.

Daniel eyed the now peaceful baby warily. “I hope this twin thing is done for our generation.”

“I don’t,” Molly said, her hand on her belly. “I think twins would be wonderful.”

Her mother-in-law arrived just in time to hear her. “Twins are the greatest gift God can give you,” she said, smiling down on baby Connor. “As long as you can survive the first, oh, eighteen years.”

Alice groaned. “I was hoping things would improve a whole lot sooner than that.”

“Depends on whether they got more of your genes or their daddy’s,” Kathleen Devaney told her.

Patrick arrived just then with a sleeping baby girl in his arms. “They’re Devaneys through and through,” he said. “Black hair, blue eyes, an appetite and a temper.”

Molly gazed at Daniel. “At least they turn out okay once they’re fully grown,” she said. “Where is everyone, by the way? I thought this christening was supposed to start fifteen minutes ago?”

“We’re waiting for Ryan and Maggie,” he told her. “He called from the road. He said it’s taken them longer because they’ve had to stop half a dozen times for Maggie to run to the rest room.”

All three women exchanged a look. “She’s pregnant, isn’t she?” Molly asked, grinning.

“Has to be,” Alice said.

Kathleen’s expression turned nostalgic. “Never had a day of morning sickness, not with any of my boys.”

Molly frowned at her mother-in-law. “You’ve just forgotten.”

“No, I swear it. Not a day.”

Alice scowled. “I could hate you.”

“Me, too,” Molly said. “And we definitely don’t want to share that with Maggie.”

“Share what with me?” Maggie asked, rushing into the church to take her place in front as baby Kathleen’s second godmother. She looked pale but extraordinarily happy.

“Nothing,” Molly, Alice and Kathleen chorused.

Ryan and the rest of the family came inside then, settling into pews as the priest joined them.

“It is always a joyous occasion to welcome a new life into the church,” he said. “It is even more so when the family has been twice blessed.”

Molly felt Daniel’s hands on her waist as he stood behind her and listened to the timeless ceremony. She held baby Connor cradled in her arms once more. He was sleeping now and smelled of talcum powder. She gazed at him and thought of another baby who hadn’t had a chance at life. Maybe God had known best, after all. Maybe she and Daniel had needed time to reach this moment, when their hearts were full and they were surrounded by family, so that a baby would be welcomed as it deserved.

In a few months they would be back here again with their own baby, asking God’s blessing. Her heart filled to bursting as she envisioned it. She’d lost so much a few years ago, and she would never forget that. It made this moment—it made every moment she and Daniel shared—all the more precious.

She twisted to gaze up at him and saw the love shining in his eyes, the sense of anticipation and the faint shadow of sadness, and knew he was feeling all of the same emotions she was feeling. It had taken time, but they were in the same place now.

At the priest’s words, she held baby Connor out for his blessing, then grinned when the baby awoke and squalled loudly as the cross was made on his forehead.
Maybe that’s what life was, in the end, a mix of blessings and protests, of struggles and joys.

As Connor settled down again, Molly gazed around the church, saw the private smiles between Ryan and Maggie, Sean and Deanna, Michael and Kelly. Saw the wink Patrick gave to Alice and the misty smile Kathleen shared with Connor. And then she met Daniel’s gaze and saw the love brimming over in his eyes. There was her happily-ever-after ending, she thought, in his eyes.

“I love you,” she whispered.

He leaned down and whispered in her ear, “I love you, too…but would you please, please try not to wake the babies?”

Patrick grinned at both of them. “Amen to that.”

As if on cue, baby Connor and baby Kathleen both began to bellow. Patrick groaned.

“Never you mind,” his mother said. “Your father and I will take the babies.”

Connor was already reaching for his grandson. Molly handed the screaming baby over to him and watched in awe as the baby immediately fell silent.

“I’m booking you for baby-sitting for the next six years, minimum,” she told her father-in-law.

“Oh, no, you don’t,” Alice said. “I have first dibs.”

“I want him in Boston,” Maggie chimed in, to Connor’s obvious delight.

He glanced at his wife. “I think we have our family back,” he told her.

She nodded, tears in her eyes. “It’s been a long time coming,” she agreed. “But I think we do at last.”