Darcy and Fitzwilliam: A Tale of a Gentleman and an Officer (5 page)

Darcy paced back and forth, alternately angry and contrite, unsure of what to do or how to say it. How could he explain something that had happened so long ago, at a time when he was incredibly naive?

He had been introduced to the lovely Caroline Bingley by his older and hopelessly randy cousin, Richard Fitzwilliam, during a fashionable dinner party at Carlton House. A favorite with the high flyers, Caroline had been much younger when she initiated her ultimately unsuccessful campaign to barter morals for an advantageous match. Alas, when push came to shove, she was only a tradesman's daughter, and always would remain one.

She had pursued the incredibly handsome newcomer, Darcy, until he succumbed after a night of heavy drinking and unsuccessful gaming. It had been a satisfying three hours, vaguely remembered, but three hours that he never cared to repeat. It had meant little to him then and was conveniently forgotten with time.

Standing before his wife's sitting-room door, he was prepared to knock but hesitant. How could they discuss this problem in an adult, rational manner when they appeared to be one rational adult short? The Elizabeth he had seen last evening was a stranger to him, a spoiled child with her screeching and outrage. The behavior she exhibited had confused him; her lack of emotional control baffled him. He stared at the closed door and sighed. What could he do? God alone knew how much he missed his beloved angel and closest friend, and that after only one night apart. Why, he missed her so much that he wanted to strangle her. This was ridiculous; he
was
head of his household, after all. He would simply demand she listen to him.

Darcy abandoned that idea when the first flowerpot hit the wall.

"Elizabeth!" He was shocked, his indignity magnified as he spun around clumsily to avoid being crowned by a water pitcher that sailed just to the left of his head and hit the doorframe. "This is insupportable! This is outrageous! You cannot throw water pots!"

"You are right yet again, Mr. Darcy. It would not usually be my first choice. I personally believe it's because their center of gravity is so low. If you will but allow me another opportunity, I will switch to statuettes! My ability with those has grown leaps and bounds!" He quickly closed the door before it was smashed, fittingly, by a small replica of Cupid, and leaned his back against the frame, his hands fisted at his waist.
Well, it's obvious that she has lost her mind.
Darcy prided himself as always on his calm, his reasoning capabilities.
I am married to a madwoman.
How much more ridiculous could this argument become? A fit caused by an affair that had happened so long before her, not even an affair really--more a frisky moment. Did she believe he had lived like a monk all those years?

"Elizabeth!" he called through the closed door, "will you please allow me to enter so that we can discuss this rationally, like adults?" He heard nothing from within. "Oh cut line, Lizzy, please give me a chance to explain."

"There is nothing in the world you could say to me at this moment, sir. We are through. I never want to set eyes upon you again. Would you be so good as to help me pack my things and drive me to my father's house?"

"Elizabeth, you are being incredibly foolish. Any association I had with Caroline Bingley happened ages ago, before my friendship with Charles."

Darcy never imagined that his sweet, beloved, elfin wife could be capable of such rage. Of course, he had never before been subjected to the delicate sentiments of a pregnant woman. It was ghastly. He grew truly concerned when he heard her sobs begin, and then her labored breathing coming in gasps. "Sweetheart, think of the child and calm down."

After several moments, the door slowly opened. "Speak," she commanded as she turned to walk back into the room. She then sat in regal silence, her eyes red-rimmed and her hair sticking out Medusa-like from her head.

Darcy took a few steps in and closed the door behind him. "Now you are being sensible. Good thing you let me in; I believe the servants were beginning to suspect something was amiss."

She lifted her hairbrush threateningly.

"All right, all right." Raising both his hands in a plea for truce, he took a seat directly opposite her.
Where to begin? How to begin?
"It happened years ago, a short time before I first met Bingley, when Fitzwilliam and I returned from our grand tour. We were both just out of university."

An unblinking Elizabeth gazed straight past him, her hairbrush still poised to attack at any moment.

"It is all Fitzwilliam's fault, you know. He introduced me to Caroline. They had met through a mutual acquaintance, an officer friend of both, and I have to admit I thought she was very, very pretty." With that, Elizabeth turned cold, dead eyes to Darcy. They narrowed on him dangerously. "Well, she is, or was, anyway. Maybe one 'very' would have been sufficient, eh?" When Elizabeth didn't respond to his jest, he continued with the narrative.

He rubbed his hands nervously across his thighs. "As I was saying," he began, "it was after a gathering we had all attended, one of many that had been, well, more than a bit wild and bawdy, and we, uh, all had a great deal too much to drink, and... and..."

"You are a drunkard and a debaucher. Thank you. I feel ever so much better." She was not letting him off the hook so very easily.

"Well, I was not her first, Elizabeth, if that's what you're implying. I was no seducer of an innocent."

Elizabeth allowed an exaggerated eyebrow to rise. "Oh, really?" Suddenly her mood became ferocious. "How many times were you with her?" she barked out. The Spanish Inquisition had been more gregarious.

"Once. Well, twice actually, but both on the same night. The first time, I believe I fell asleep on her. Well, not exactly
on
her..." The lethal hairbrush was quickly on the rise again.

"Does Bingley know?" she snapped.

"Good Lord, I hope not. No one knows except you... and Fitzwilliam. She had several men before me, Lizzy, and after me, too. She had become quite legendary. Just ask him."

Lizzy's eyeballs opened wide. "Really? He also...?" she asked, more interested now in acquiring the
ton
gossip than her own problems. Darcy didn't really know for sure, but Fitzwilliam
had
introduced them and
had
been mildly attracted to her, as well,
had
spent some time with her, and knowing Caroline, it was very possible. "Don't be naive, Lizzy."
What the hell
. "Yes, of course Fitzwilliam, too. He's no saint, you know."

She lowered the hairbrush. "Well... once I could somewhat imagine, when you were exceedingly drunk. Blind and deaf as it were. But twice tells me you regretted missing out on the first and waited around to have a try at her again." Her lower lip quivered in a small pout, and her arms crossed in front of her.

"I was very young, and she was making herself extremely available. Men are different than women."

Elizabeth rolled her eyes and harrumphed. All at once she looked exhausted and defeated. "That, Mr. Darcy, is one of the sorriest excuses ever used by men for their abysmal behavior. And believe me, sir, I have never found the comparison used in a good light." She placed the hairbrush down onto her dresser. "Is there anyone else I need worry about from your wild and reckless youth?"

"No, of course not, Elizabeth. Not unless we happen to meet Elinor Prescott-Pickard at a
ton
function," he muttered and tried to think of the odds that they would come in contact with Jennie Dewar or her twin sister, Lady Cathie, more Carlton House lovelies. Elizabeth grunted and massaged her sleepy eyes.

"Will you come back to our bed tonight?" he asked softly, and she nodded after making him wait just a few minutes longer.

"Will you forgive me for not telling you sooner?"

Again she nodded, and he could see that the storm had passed. "William?"

"Yes, Lizzy?"

Her eyes began to twinkle. "Can we get some food sent up, please? I am famished. See if Cook can make up some spinach-and-cheese puffs. And some ham. Maybe those tarts we had last week--the cherry ones. Oooh, and honey. I have a craving for honey with pickles..."

Darcy walked over and quite energetically pulled her into his arms.

"One more thing"--she looked deeply in his eyes--"I do not want to be in the same room ever again with Caroline Bingley, is that understood?" Darcy nodded in agreement. He was so relieved, he would have agreed to most anything. This was an easy promise.

"I will have to explain something to Jane. I don't know what I would do if I ever saw that husband-stealing, wretched, common tart person again!"

Not many of life's wishes and dreams can come true, and certainly Lizzy's hopes to avoid Caroline were thwarted almost immediately. A short while after Lizzy's porcelain-throwing demonstration, and much to everyone's surprise, Lizzy's mother passed away quietly in her sleep. She had been a relatively young woman, merely in her late forties, and so, although the poor woman had been ailing for quite some time, complaining for years, in fact, the first impression in the little town of Meryton was that the doctor must be exaggerating the seriousness of her condition, might want to examine her again. After all, she was known far and wide as a sound sleeper.

When her demise was confirmed, the second impression was that it was such a pity--she had so counted on her husband dying first.

Jane and Lizzy both agreed that their mother must be absolutely furious, wherever she was. There was a cruel injustice in this, of her being denied time to reap the rewards of having her two eldest daughters so wealthy and well situated, and then there was her youngest married to a handsome, if disreputable, commissioned officer. Three of five daughters married within a year. It was almost biblical. Why, she was a female Moses having led her two remaining unmarried daughters to the very edges of the Promised Land and then not being allowed to enter.

For his part, Mr. Bennet was certainly as put out as his wife, possibly more so, horrified at finding himself suddenly alone at the forefront of his family, a man who had paid little if any attention to their needs before. He had no idea of what to do, so he did what had worked so well for him in the past. He went into his library and remained there, never to come out, at least not until he was absolutely certain that the body had been examined by her physician and carted away, and positively not a moment before he had handed the unpleasant responsibility of funeral arrangements to his son-in-law, Darcy. A situation which seemed completely natural to all concerned.

***

The funeral day had the appropriate grey cast along with a slight drizzle of rain when the little group of mourners gathered around the open grave site. Mr. Bennet stood with Kitty and Mary on either side. Darcy had a protective arm around Lizzy, while Charles was doing the same with Jane. The only one of the sisters not there was Lydia, who was due to deliver her third child at any moment and could not make the journey south.

Charlotte and Mr. Collins, Charlotte's parents, and one or two representatives of the Meryton community were also there. It was not a large group, but a group that sincerely mourned the passing of a member from their small circle.

If anyone had asked her opinion, however, Elizabeth would have suggested that there was one too many mourners for her liking at the funeral. A very uninterested Caroline Bingley was spied yawning in the background, shivering and rolling her eyes at the Reverend Collins's heavenly words. Jane had been delivered safely of a baby girl a few weeks prior to her mother's passing, so Caroline and her sister and brother-in-law, Mr. and Mrs. Hurst, were already residing at Netherfield Hall, Charles and Jane's leased manor house situated a few miles from Mr. and Mrs. Bennet's home.

"We'll return to your father's house and have a short rest." Darcy cupped his wife's elbow, steering her in the direction of Longbourn and to their room after the early morning burial with its damp air. "I'll have them get a nice warm fire going for you. We've plenty of time before the luncheon at Netherfield." They were staying in her old bedroom, the one she had at one time happily shared with her older sister. It was a charming reflection of both Jane's and Lizzy's distinct personalities--flowery wallpaper, chair flounces and pink bows alongside books, a writing desk, walking boots and stick. The drizzle of rain had thankfully stopped, leaving behind only the clouds and gloom. Lizzy nodded to her husband, and so the couple made their excuses and returned for a nap before venturing to Jane and Charles's home.

***

Relieved of her gown and ankle-length pantalets, Elizabeth scooted onto the bed and snuggled into the pillows feeling warm and cozy, her stomach finally settling down from its daily pilgrimage upward. It was such a relief knowing that she could now relax, but not so her wonderful husband. Her exhaustion, her health, her pregnancy, all were his now constant concern, often causing him sleepless nights.

As she sipped her hot chocolate, she prattled on to him about the morning service and how kind everyone had been and about the pretty flowers. However, her speech became quieter and her words stilled completely the moment he began undressing for bed. He possessed a magnificent figure, the viewing of which she never tired, and his regimented routine always fascinated her. It rarely varied.

He first loosened his neck scarf and waistcoat, then sat erectly upon a chair to remove his boots. Next he stood and unbuttoned his shirt and cuffs, careful as always to place any jewelry on the nightstand beside the bed. His waistcoat, scarf, and shirt were next removed in that order, folded and draped with the utmost care across the back of his chair. After unbuttoning his breeches, he sat at the edge of the bed and yanked them off, folded them, and laid them neatly across her old dresser.

"Oh, bravo." She clapped, grinning impishly.

He turned and arched his eyebrow at her.

"You zany scamp--you have unhinged me with your recklessness."

His eyebrow went somehow higher.

"You unbuttoned your pants
before
you sat on the edge of the bed, and not
after,
as is your usual order. Such extreme behavior--whatever possessed you to such flights of abandon?"

"Are you quite finished?" His lips twitched with humor as he lowered himself back onto the bed and let out a heartfelt sigh. "Now please be quiet. You are exhausted and need your sleep. All I ask is one uninterrupted hour, Elizabeth."

"Did you see who was at the grave site?"

He groaned.

She was snuggling farther down into the covers while motioning toward her aching back, so he slipped his hand down within her chemise and kneaded and rubbed until her tense muscles began to relax, the warmth and firmness of the back rub quickly beginning to loosen all the anxiety of the sad morning. Giving her shoulder a quick kiss when he finished, he pulled his wife's backside against him, and they then easily fell into their normal spooning position from home, fingers intertwined together, arms laced, and hugs secured.

"Did you hear what I asked you?"

"Yessss." He sighed, no immediate sleep in sight. "I imagine you are speaking of Lady Catherine and Fitzwilliam. I saw them only briefly, and they were gone before I could approach." In truth, he felt very guilty that he had not contacted her directly during her illness, only receiving reports from Fitzwilliam and her doctors. The sight of her there today shamed him and brought to the forefront of his mind the folly of holding this grudge. Life was short, he was learning, and never to be taken for granted.

"She looked very pale and fragile, did she not?"

"Yes, she did." She could feel him shift uneasily. "I'm not that surprised that she was there, really," he said quietly. "In some fuzzy area of her brain she has accepted that you are part of her family, and family obligations are paramount to her."

They were silent for a moment. He pulled another cover over them.

"Did you remove your stockings?"

"Elizabeth, I beg of you to be quiet."

She was, for a moment.

"If you don't remove them, your feet will become very warm, and then you shall have nightmares. And your boots will smell."

His teeth ground for an instant, but he contained himself. "I never have nightmares--largely due to the fact that I seldom sleep anymore. And my boots do
not
smell."

They were silent. He suddenly sat up and removed his stockings, again placing them with the utmost precision atop her dresser.

He'd make a fine valet
, she thought briefly.
Best not to voice that opinion out loud
.

They were silent.

"Did you see Caroline Bingley?"

Darcy fought back an unpleasant curse. He was learning that infinite patience needed to walk hand in hand with marriage. "Yes, dear, I did. Will you be all right with Caroline there today?" he whispered.

"Yes, of course." It was so quiet in their little room. "The real question is, will you?"

Gently he turned her chin, tilting her head back toward him.

"Elizabeth, let sleeping dogs lie."

She smiled and nodded, kissing his mouth tenderly, but her heart and her newfound insecurities were fighting a silent battle with logic. She gave out a noncommittal "mm-hmm."

Darcy sighed.
This is going to be a long week
.

***

The prior evening, Fitzwilliam had dreaded another lecture from Aunt Catherine. For two hours, she had vacillated between arguments for going to the funeral to pay her respects, or for not going and continuing the family conflict. In the end, as he knew it would, family duty won out over personal pride, and her carriage took them the long thirty miles to Meryton for the funeral, returning them back to Rosings almost immediately afterward.

Upon their arrival back to Rosings Park, Fitzwilliam barricaded himself within the business office with orders to all who would listen that he was not to be disturbed, unwilling to admit the fact that he was thoroughly mystified by his own accounting methods of a previous visit. He pulled at his hair and muttered vile obscenities, searching through what seemed like hundreds of receipts and reports and tenant requests. Everything looked the same, and nothing added up or made any sense.

Lady Catherine's daughter, Anne, was in her bedroom suite, fearful that somehow a remnant of the illness that had felled Mrs. Bennet would return doggedly attached to her mother or cousin. She breathed into a boiling pot of clove-and-basil ointment, clutching a towel around her head, allowing only her paid companion to accompany her.

So it was that Lady Catherine sat alone that evening, her memories agitated, her ire poking the embers of her thoughts into flames as if bringing a dimming hearth fire to life on a winter morning.

It is insupportable...that he should look so well, never missed me at all, the ingrate
!
Where is the loyalty among the young these days? He's even gained a little weight!
Dread flooded her confused brain
. Or, perhaps that is water retention. Oh no, the poor dear is retaining water. Oh, dear God, he probably has developed serious heart ailments of which he is not even aware!

Fitzwilliam burst into the room. "Do we grow peas?!"

She was startled, her thoughts still agitated. Already mourning the passing of her beloved Darcy, she stared at him several moments before she could respond. "What... yes, I believe we have lentils, peas, and barley on some farms to the north." She gulped back the sense of foreboding that always arose when Fitzwilliam attempted anything agricultural. "Why do you ask?"

"Nothing... nothing..." He began to close the door then stopped, staring intently back at her, nearly obscured within the deep shadows of the doorframe. "By the by, have you ever heard of gray mold?" She could see he was clutching a written report her estate manager had prepared shortly before the accident that had incapacitated him for nearly eight months. She let out a whimper.