Darcy's Diary (18 page)

‘Ah, Lydia. I did not abduct Lydia. She came with me of her own free will. I was leaving Brighton as my creditors were becoming rather vocal, and Lydia suggested she came with me. I tried to put her off. To be truthful, Darcy, she bores me. She is too easy a conquest. She convinced herself I was the handsomest man in the regiment, and the thing was done. I told her I had no money but she did not care. “I am sure you will have some one day,” she said. “Lord, what a lark!” I grew so tired of her pleading that it was easier to let her come with me than it was to make her stay behind. Besides, she has her uses,' he said impudently.

At that moment the door opened, and Lydia herself came in.

‘Lord, what a surprise! Mr Darcy!' she said, going over to Wickham. She stood beside his chair and rested one hand on his shoulder.

‘Mr Darcy has come to reprimand me for abducting you,' said Wickham, covering her hand with his own.

She laughed at me.

‘My dear Wickham did not abduct me! Why should he? I was eager to
see London. I told him he must take me with him. What fun it has been!'

‘Have you no thought for your family?' I asked her coldly. ‘They have been worried about you ever since you left the care of Colonel Forster. They have no idea where you are.'

‘Lord! I forgot to write,' said Lydia. ‘I have been so busy with my dear Wickham. We have had such a time! But never mind. I will write as soon as we are married. What fun it will be, to sign my name, Lydia Wickham!'

She squeezed his hand and he, the insolent dog, pulled her into his lap and kissed her, then smiled at me whilst caressing her.

‘So you see, Darcy, your concern is misplaced,' he said.

Lydia's words had told me one thing, that at least she expected to be married. I felt she would be less eager to remain with him if she knew that Wickham had no such intention. I did not think he would tell her, however – why should he lose an eager companion? – and so I felt it necessary for me to do so.

‘I would like to talk to Miss Bennet alone,' I said to Wickham.

‘Very well,' said he, pushing her off his lap. ‘Try and talk her into going home if you will. She is a baggage. But I cannot see why her fate matters to you,' he added as he stood up.

‘It matters because I could have made your character known in Meryton and did not. It would have been impossible for you to have behaved in this way if your true self were known.'

‘Perhaps,' he said, ‘but I do not believe that is the reason. I doubt if you would have sought me out if I had run off with Maria Lucas.'

I did not flinch. If I let him once guess that I had a personal reason for seeking him out, he would be difficult to buy off at any price.

‘Stay,' said Lydia, snatching at his hand as he walked towards the door.

‘Mr Darcy wishes to speak with you alone. He is afraid I am keeping you here against your will, and he wants to give you a chance to go home with him.'

‘As if I would wish to go back to stuffy old Longbourn,' she said, twining her arms round his neck and kissing him on the lips.

He put his arms round her and returned her kiss, then looked at me tauntingly before leaving the room.

‘Is he not handsome?' asked Lydia, as the door closed behind him. ‘All the girls were wild for him in Meryton, and Miss King would have married him if her guardian had not put a stop to it. It was the same in Brighton. Any number of them would have run away with him. Miss Winchester—'

‘Miss Bennet, you cannot stay here,' I interrupted her.

‘It is a little shabby, to be sure, but we will have something better by and by. I would like your help though, Mr Darcy.'

‘Yes?' I said, hoping she had seen sense at last.

‘What do you think? I cannot decide. Does my dear Wickham look better in his red coat or his blue?'

‘Miss Bennet!' I rapped out. ‘You cannot stay here with Wickham. He has no intention of marrying you. I know he has said he has, but it was a lie, to make you elope with him.'

‘He did not make me elope with him, it was I who made him elope with me. Brighton was growing boring,' she said with a yawn. ‘Colonel Forster was so stuffy. He would not let me go to half the things I wanted to, and I had to sneak out of the camp on two occasions to attend my Wickham's parties. Denny helped me. I dressed as a man. You should have seen me. My own mother would not have recognized me.'

‘Your reputation will be in ruins! He will abandon you as soon as he tires of you, and you will be left in London without a protector, with no money and nowhere to live. Come back with me now, and I will do what I can to persuade your family to receive you.'

‘Lord! I do not want to go home! I would die of boredom. I am sure we shall be married some time or another, and if not, it does not much signify,' she said.

She was immovable. She would not leave him. Since such were her feelings, I could do nothing but try and make sure a marriage took place.

Wickham came back into the room, carrying a decanter in one hand and a glass in the other. He put his arm round Lydia and she turned to kiss him immediately.

‘Well, Darcy? Have you persuaded her to leave me?' he asked, when he had done.

‘She is lost to all sense,' I said angrily, ‘but since she will not leave you, you must marry her.'

‘Come now, Darcy. You know I cannot do that. My pockets are to let. I have debts all over the country. There are unpaid bills in Meryton, and worse in Brighton. I need to many an heiress.'

‘Do you hear this?' I demanded of Miss Bennet.

She only shrugged.

‘It does not signify. An heiress would bring us some money, then we could have a better house,' she said.

It was only because of Elizabeth that I stayed. My inclination was to walk out and leave her sister to the life she had made for herself. But the thought of Elizabeth's pale face sustained me.

‘Meet me at my club tomorrow,' I said to Wickham.

‘My dear Darcy, you know I am not welcome there.'

‘I will make sure you are admitted.'

He looked surprised, but said: ‘Very well.'

As I left the house, the memory of his insolent smile went with me.

I met Wickham at my club and the negotiations began.

‘You must marry her,' I said to him shortly.

‘If I do that, I give up for ever the chance of making my fortune through marriage,'

‘You have ruined her,' I said. ‘Does that mean nothing to you?'

He crossed one ankle over the other and lay back in the chair. ‘She ruined herself,' he said.

A waiter passed, and he ordered a whisky. I did not react, knowing he did it only to annoy me.

‘How much do you owe?' I asked, going straight to the heart of the matter.

‘Several hundred pounds.'

‘Whether that is true or not I do not know, but I shall. If you give your bills to my agent, he will pay them for you. In return, you will marry Lydia.'

‘Come now, as you are so anxious to see her wed, she is worth a lot more than that. Is it Miss Bennet who has caught your fancy, or is it the lovely Elizabeth?'

‘I am doing this for my own conscience,' I said.

He laughed in my face.

‘No man goes to such lengths to ease his own conscience. Let me guess. It is the beautiful Jane Bennet. Sweet natured, beautiful Jane. She would make a splendid addition to Pemberley. I congratulate you, Darcy.'

‘I have no intention of marrying Miss Bennet.'

‘Then it is Elizabeth'

I said nothing, but he must have guessed it from my face.

‘Ah! So it is! Her liveliness appeals to you. I would not have thought it. You are so pompous, Darcy, but they say that opposites attract.'

He had the upper hand, and he was enjoying using it.

‘Have a care,' I warned him. ‘I will do much to save Lydia Bennet from disgrace, but if you go too far, instead of having your debts paid and something more besides, you will find yourself pursued by every creditor in Brighton, and maybe the army, for I will give them all your address.'

‘I can go to Bath, or Lyme, or the Lake District,' he said. ‘I do not have to live here.' But I could tell he had no stomach for further flight.

‘Do so,' I said, calling his bluff. I stood up and turned towards the door.

‘Wait,' he said.

I paused.

‘I will marry her—'

‘Good,' I said, sitting down again.

‘—for thirty thousand pounds.'

‘What?' I cried.

‘It is the sum I should have had from Georgiana.'

I mastered my temper with difficulty. ‘I will give you nothing of the kind.'

‘Very well, then, twenty thousand.'

I stood up and left the club.

He will come to me soon enough. He has nowhere else to go.

I do not relish seeing him, but the knowledge that it will ease Elizabeth's fears recompenses me for any time or trouble I might take, and I hope that, before very long, I will see her happy again.

Wickham called on me this afternoon, as I knew he would. His situation is desperate, and he cannot afford to throw away assistance. Only the thought of Elizabeth's happiness sustained me throughout the ordeal, which was as unpleasant as our last encounter. If not for her, I would have abandoned the matter. We settled at last on a thousand pounds to pay his debts and a further thousand.

‘And a commission,' he said.

‘I cannot believe you will be welcome in the army.'

‘You have some influence there. Come, Darcy, I must have something to live on. How else am I to support a wife?'

At last I agreed, on condition he join a regiment in the far north, I do not want to see him when Elizabeth and I are married.
If
Elizabeth and I are married. I made the mistake once before of thinking that she was wanting me to propose to her, but I was wrong. I will not make the same mistake again.

Having settled everything with Wickham, I decided to call on Mr Gardiner to let him know what had been decided. I soon found his house, but when I asked to see him I learnt from the servants that Mr Bennet was with him. I hesitated. In the first flush of discovery, I feared Mr Bennet might do something rash. On further enquiry I found that Mr Bennet will be returning home tomorrow. I therefore judged it wiser to wait, thinking it would be easier to talk to Mr Gardiner than Mr Bennet. Mr Gardiner is of necessity less closely involved, and therefore he is likely to be more rational.

I called on Mr Gardiner and this time found him alone. He was surprised to see me, but welcomed me cordially.

‘Mr Darcy. I did not know you intended to visit town so soon. How is your sister? Well, I hope?'

‘Very well.'

‘We were delighted to meet her in Derbyshire. She is a beautiful girl.'

‘Thank you. You are very kind. It is not about my sister I have come to talk to you, however, but about your niece.'

I saw him change colour.

‘Will you not sit down?'

‘Thank you. I called on her shortly after her sister's letter was delivered,' I said, ‘and learnt the unhappy truth. I felt responsible for the situation, for I knew of Wickham's character and yet I kept silent. He had done something similar before, but I had not mentioned it because I had wanted to protect the young lady's reputation. If I had made his perfidy known, then no woman would have been able to love him, and Miss Lydia Bennet would have been safe.'

His expression said,
Nothing would have kept a girl as wild as Lydia safe
.

Aloud he said: ‘It is really not your fault.'

‘Nevertheless, I took it upon myself to track him down. I knew his acquaintances, and knew how to find out where he might be. I have seen him, and persuaded him that a marriage must take place.'

He looked more and more surprised as I unfolded the details. He refused to let me undertake any of the financial arrangements, but as I argued it with him back and forth, a thoughtful expression began to cover his face. He suspected the nature of my feelings for Elizabeth, I am sure of it, but said nothing. How could he? He said at last that we had talked long enough, and invited me to call on him again tomorrow. I think he wishes to consult his wife as to how far I should be allowed to help.

I left him and retired to my club. Everything will soon be settled, I am confident of it. As soon as Elizabeth hears of it she will be relieved of care, and it is that thought that sustains me. She will be able to laugh again, and tease me, and she will forget all about her sister.

I called upon Mr Gardiner again, and this time Mrs Gardiner was with him. They welcomed me warmly, and after exchanging pleasantries, I said again that I expected to settle Wickham's debts. That they agreed to, but
they would not agree to me settling anything else. There are some arrangements still to be made, however, and I mean to work on Mr Gardiner again tomorrow, until he agrees to let me settle the whole.

All has finally been settled. I have at last managed to have my own way. Mr Gardiner had an express sent off to Longbourn, and it gave me great satisfaction to know that it will relieve Elizabeth from distress. Mr and Mrs Gardiner are to offer Lydia their protection until the marriage can be arranged. I do not envy them. She has shown no remorse for what she has done, and seems to think it a great joke. She is one of the most worthless girls of my acquaintance.

I returned to Pemberley, and I was pleased to find that my guests had noticed nothing strange about my absence. If they knew that I had been arranging a marriage, instead of attending to business, how astonished they would be!

I travelled to London, and tomorrow I have the unpleasant task of making sure Wickham attends his own wedding.