Darius Jones (9 page)

S
he moved. My wife moved.

I wasn't sure if I should thank Ashlee or curse her out. Ashlee could make a great situation bad or a bad situation worse without trying. Damn that girl was never happy. Never satisfied. Wasn't my fault she was passive-aggressive. She started out doing whatever it took to keep me happy. Then when I'd stopped making her happy, she'd done all she could to make my life a living hell. I know my mom wasn't bold enough to let Ashlee watch DJ for more than two days without consulting me first.

Nurse Anita said, “Everyone out, including you, Mr. Jones. Your wife's pressure is up. Out, Mr. Jones, leave now,” she said, hissing between her teeth. “Your wife is fighting to recover and you're in here acting inhumane. I pray you haven't set her back. Leave, now.”

Dr. Duke rushed into the room. K-9 grabbed my arm while holding on to the camera. We stood in the hallway. “Let's chill here for a minute. Give you and the staff time to calm down and Ashlee time to get out of your way.”

“I messed up, huh?”

“D, females always trying to one-up on us. You good.”

I posted on Facebook. Gotta go put up some shots before I lose it. Baby mama drama. Just sayin'.

Knowing Ashlee, if she was telling the truth about watching DJ, I might not see my son again. I sensed something bad was about to go down. I called my mom.

Mom answered all cheerful. “Hey, baby. How's Fancy?”

“Ma, where's DJ?”

“Ashlee just left with him.”

“Just left with him? Where's she taking him? Where's she staying?”

“I don't know where she's staying. DJ wants his mom to take him to Disneyland,” Mom said all nonchalant.

“She just left with my fucking son and you have no idea where she's staying. Where are you?”

“Darius, I need help and you can't help me. It's not my fault that DJ isn't used to staying with people he doesn't know. I tried letting Bambi watch him for a few hours yesterday and that didn't go too well. Ashlee will drop him off later. Darius, it's okay.”

“Don't fucking ‘Darius it's okay' me, Ma. Stop pawning off my son. I haven't even met this personal assistant of yours yet and you let her watch my son? Where were you that you didn't have time to keep him?” I already knew wherever Grant was my mom wasn't far from him.

“Check yourself. You're getting out of hand. I'm in the lobby at the hospital on my way up to visit Fancy. Where are you?”

“You know where the fuck I am. You can't see Fancy right now. Thanks to Ashlee coming to my wife's room causing commotion, Fancy's pressure is up. Stay there. I'm on my way down to see you.”

“Here, man,” I said, handing K-9 the envelope Ashlee gave me. “Open it for me.”

K-9 laughed. “What if it's laced with anthrax? You know that female is certifiable. I think you'd better do the honors when you're by yourself,” he said, handing the letter back. “For real though, D. You can't talk like that to your mom. The one thing I've learned is if a man doesn't respect his mother, his sisters, and females, a boomerang is gonna keep knocking him on his ass. I ain't saying you have to like them, but respect goes a long way. Give it five before you go to the lobby.”

Fuck! I boxed with the air. Desperately wanted to punch the wall but I wasn't that stupid. My hands were worth millions. The tears running down my face were fueled with anger. My son was probably gone. My wife, fighting for her life. My mother betrayed me. Me, I was a piece of shit waiting for someone to flush me down the toilet.

“D. Let's go shoot a few rounds. After you wash your ass.”

He got no argument from me when I could smell my own funk. I smiled for the second time since the accident. I could continue soaking in shit but I had to regain control and shift my attitude. The choice was mine. Boxing with the wind wasn't resolving my problems.

“Fair, my nuts are starting to stick to my thighs,” I said, getting on the elevator. “Man, she moved. That's great, right?”

“Fancy can kick your ass and mine. She's a fighter. She'll be fine. Let the nurses take care of her and I'll keep watch over you, dawg. After you handle that stench, we'll get something to eat, shoot around, and I'll bring you back here.”

“Anita said don't come back.”

“Man, you're hearing things. She never said that. That's your wife and you have a right to see her. They just need you to chill and not be upsetting Fancy. That's all.”

Part of me was looking forward to coming back; the other part was ready to go to Cleveland. “Cool. That way I'll be refreshed and calm. But, dude, why my mom let Ashlee take DJ?” The elevator doors opened. I saw my mom in the lobby arguing with Grant.

“Guess you've got your answer, man. But I can't take cameras from all them.” K-9 pointed at a group of reporters moving in my direction. “I'll be outside in my car.”

Walking over to my mom, I said, “Ma, life is too short. He's not worth it. Let his ass go. Right now I need to know where my son is.” I was so mad at my mom I didn't bother telling her Fancy's eyes were open and she'd moved.

Cameras flashed, making me angrier. Wish those sorry bastards would back off. “Leave me the fuck alone! Report that! Better yet, go find that trick that's responsible for my wife being in the hospital.” With all the chaos, I hadn't had time to hire a detective to hunt down the bitch who was driving that white pickup truck.

Grant commented to my mom, “There, you heard it from your own son. I'm not worth it.”

“Nigga, save your steps and your breath. I'm talking to my mother. You don't owe her but you do owe me. Don't make me beat your ass a million times to get my money back,” I told him. I was on the verge of swinging at more than air.

Grant looked at my mom. “You want me to handle him? Because if I do, he's going to be on the third floor, in a room, in a bed, next to his wife!”

Mom pleaded, “Darius, don't.” She placed her hand on my bicep. “I have to meet Bambi for lunch, then I'll come back and stay with Fancy until you get back.”

“Get your hand off me, Ma. Don't pacify me.”

She checked to make sure Grant wasn't leaving. “He's not worth it, son.”

“Ma, forget lunch. Go find my son.”

What the fuck was wrong with my mother?
I moved my mom's hands. Didn't want her touching me in that way like she was protecting his ass from me. I looked down at her, then said, “Maybe you're the one who's not worth it.”

I
let my son leave the hospital, thankful all the reporters had followed him. I didn't try stopping or calling Darius. I had to tend to my unfinished business with Grant and meet Bambi at CUT in Beverly Hills before visiting Fancy. For me, Ashlee's timing was perfect. For Darius too but he didn't realize it.

The lack of my ability to control Grant's actions and reactions made me lose self-control. Irrespective of my words, the outcome remained unchanged. I didn't get what I wanted. I got the truth. But I wasn't ready to deal with my truth. I expected Grant to tell me what I deserved to hear: “Baby, I love you. Regardless if Honey's babies are mine or not, nothing between us will change.” That was my wishful thinking.

Telling my son, “Darius, don't,” was my way of protecting Grant. Saying, “He's not worth it,” was my way of degrading Grant. I had the right to humiliate Grant but didn't want my son or anyone else to do so.

I dismissed Darius's misdirected anger when he'd said, “Maybe you're the one who's not worth it,” understanding my son was stressed and hadn't meant what he'd said.

DJ was fine with Ashlee. Ashlee being crazy didn't change that fact that she was DJ's mother. My son hadn't slept in two days. I accepted his aggression as the result of sleep deprivation. My son had good intentions but he was wrong to confront my man.

I turned to Grant. “You owe me closure. And if you're smart you won't end this relationship before finding out if those babies are not yours. 'Cause once I'm gone, don't expect me to come back.”

Calmly, he said, “You're free to leave anytime you'd like. You've given me back my ring. There's nothing else you can give me. You're really too old to behave like your grandson.”

Embarrassed, I scanned the lobby hoping no one had heard his insults. “So now you're talking down to me?”

“Can dish it but can't take it? I'm not worth it, remember? Why you wasting our time? If it'll end this nonsense, I apologize. I shouldn't have said that. Come to the nursery and see my boys. Maybe seeing them will convince you they're mine,” he said.

My feet wanted to kick Grant, then walk out the hospital. My envy had to see the babies. I stood there like a damn fool but jealousy wouldn't let me move. What was wrong with me? I'd rather argue with a man who obviously doesn't want me than love myself and move on.

“Don't apologize. You said what you meant. Doesn't mean it's valid.” I followed him to the ninth floor. The nurse told us the babies were with Honey in room 9109. “Now what?” I asked him.

“You'd better go check on Fancy. I don't think Honey would like having you in her room. I'll check on you in a minute.”

“Are you insane? You asked me to come up, now you're telling me to leave?”

“I didn't think you'd come. Nor did I know they weren't in the nursery,” Grant said, walking into the men's room.

I saw Valentino coming toward me with the twins in his arms. I moved in his direction to get a glimpse of those babies.

A nurse walked up between us and took the babies. “I'll take them, Mr. James,” she politely said.

“Cool. I'll pick them up when I come back from grabbing a bite,” Valentino said, getting on the elevator.

Intentionally I blocked her path. I stared into the infants cradled in her arms. It wasn't her face I had to see. I had to see Honey's babies' eyes. “Oh, they're so adorable,” I said, staring at the boys. Their tiny pupils, little brown irises, button noses, and ruby red lips were too young to tell if they resembled Grant.

“Miss, please,” she said in a muffled sweet soft voice. “I have to keep them away from strangers. H1N1 is everywhere. I have to go.” The face mask covered her nose and mouth. Her fiery red hair was neatly spiraled into a bun. She had gray eyes. Cocoa brown skin with freckles. Wide hips. Flat ass. Her mauve scrubs didn't have a wrinkle. Her arms were covered with a white long-sleeve shirt that fit snug around her thick wrists. Her shoes were white. But that triple diamond pear-and-heart ring was amazing.

Go where?
Something didn't seem right. One of the boys started crying. The woman rushed to the end of the hall and disappeared beyond the
NURSERY
sign.

I went to the nursery window waiting for her to put those boys in beds and roll them out alongside the other newborns. When no one was watching, I tiptoed inside the nursery, peeped around. I had to see them one more time before Grant came out of the restroom.

“Excuse, me. But you can't come in here,” a nurse said.

“Oh, I'm from Child Protective Services.” What in the world made me tell that lie? Maybe secretly I wished I were so I could legally take those innocent little creatures away from that whore. “I was checking to make sure the Hill twins were here. I'll go get my paperwork out of the car,” I lied again, then left the nursery.

Grant hadn't come out of the men's restroom so I went in. I saw his shoes underneath the stall door. “Oh, wee! What you been eating?”

He flushed the toilet, opened the door, then washed his hands. “You.” He laughed, then said, “Why are you still here?”

I didn't find humor in his response.

He kissed my cheek. “I'll call you later.” Grant squared his shoulders. I watched my man swagger down the hallway to his Honey.

I wasn't releasing Grant without a fight. I had a few minutes to spare before meeting Bambi at CUT. I had to look into her eyes when I asked, “What happened to my grandson yesterday?”

I waited until the door to Honey's room closed, then followed Grant to 9109.

V
alentino was great with the boys.

I appreciated Valentino taking my boys back to the nursery so I could rest. A part of me hoped we'd occasionally get his twins and his older son, Anthony, together with my boys but his wife Summer had moved and no one knew where she was. The last time Valentino called her, the number belonged to someone else. He feared Summer had gone crazy after her twin sister, Sunny, was killed.

My best friend, Sapphire Bleu, who was an undercover cop, had Valentino's murder charges dropped but none of us knew for sure whether or not Valentino was responsible for Sunny's death. In my heart, I couldn't believe he killed Sunny.

I didn't judge Valentino. What drew us together was we were survivors. I knew firsthand what it was like to take a man's life. Would kill again if I had to. I closed my eyes. Before the upper lids touched the bottom, I heard, “Hey, Mommy. How are you?”

Grant stood beside my bed, held my hand. “I still wish you would've told me.”

I shook my head. “Stop it. Please. I did what was best for me. You were the one who told me don't call you ever again. I honored your request.”

I'd been a fool so deep in love with Grant I swam beyond the horizon and almost drowned. He was the first and only man I'd given my heart to. I was going under and he refused to toss me a life preserver. What hurt the most was he wasn't considerate enough to give me back my heart. He dropped my love, stepped on my emotions, walked away, then stole Jada's heart. I picked up my broken heart almost a year ago. Took me some time to heal but I'm good now. What I didn't understand was why, when our relationship was over, Grant treated me so heartlessly?

He nodded. “You have no idea how happy you've made me.”

How happy I'd made him? Was I supposed to be happy now that I'd become a single mother? Was I supposed to be happy because Grant was happy?

“Maybe you can tell me,” Jada said, standing in the doorway.

I'd seen Jada on television sitting in her plush box office suite at Darius's games. And I'd seen Grant strutting back and forth in Jada's suite like he owned the team. Jada was more beautiful in person. Her dark skin was flawless. She had beautiful hazel eyes and to say she was fifty, her body was banging, flat stomach, perky tits and all. I could put her on a stroll or two, make a quick five figures. She was that sexy. But I wasn't a madam any more. Got out of the business shortly before I'd gotten pregnant.

Grant released my hand. “Don't come in here like that. You know I love you.”

I wouldn't readily believe that if I were her. I could tell by the tone of his voice he was lying. I smiled, recalling the times Grant and I shared those words. I also remembered telling him, “Sometimes love isn't enough.” Like musical chairs, I'd gotten up, and Jada had sat in my seat. Better her than me. Grant taught me never to love a man who didn't love me first. It was hard for me not to call and tell him I was pregnant with his babies but in my former business, a person's word was bond.

“I guess her having your babies could be a good thing,” Jada said, standing by the door, inside my room. “You have your sons, we don't have to adopt, and we'll have joint custody,” Jada said, as if the decision was hers and as if her bitch ass could rightfully demand to see my boys. Now her ass wasn't so cute. She was about to get some Flagstaff whup ass. I might be from a small town in Arizona but I'd been around the world twice.

“You will not touch my boys unless I say so,” I told her.

“You, my dear, are an unfit mother. You don't deserve those boys. Keep it up and I'll make sure they're taken away,” she said, excusing herself from my room.

Jada had said some ignorant shit but the bitch wasn't crazy enough to keep standing in my doorway. Coward.