Authors: Heidi Acosta
Jaxson calls my name, but I don’t stop. I pick up my pace, moving faster along the thin ledge. My elbow hits the jagged rock that juts out of the wall, followed by warmth. I’m bleeding. I use the pain to push me forward. I need to find a way home and get away from this messed up world where creatures feed on people’s souls, draining them until they are just empty shells. A pinprick of light sits in the distance, and I move towards it, but any hope I had evaporates as I’m slammed hard against the jagged wall. Sharp rocks dig into my spine. I let out a cry as Jaxson pushes his body hard against mine. It’s suffocating, even though he uses no powers against me. I feel like the invisible chains are wrapped back around me, choking me.
“Eden, stop!” he growls, his chest rising fast and hard.
But I don’t stop. I fight back, pushing against him, trying to kick at him. He moves closer, pinning my legs with his.
“Let me go,” I scream, my mouth filling with hot, salty tears.
“Stop fighting me and listen. I’m trying to help you. You’re going to get yourself killed.”
“And if I stay, you will kill me. I think I’ll take my chances on my own,” I yell.
I try to pull my arms free, but he yanks them above my head. My shoulder screams in protest. He doesn’t flinch at my discomfort as he holds my arms. With his free hand, he pulls a dagger from his belt.
“This,” he pushes the hilt of the dagger into my hand scraping my knuckles against the wall until they feel raw. “This is a Night Blade. If I try to hurt you, if you even think for one moment that I will hurt you, take this and drive it into my heart.” The hilt is white with stars and moons carved into it, and what I can see of the blade looks like purple glass. “I will not even fight you.”
“You are lying,” I shriek, my chest heaving, ready to explode.
“No. I promise I will get you home if you let me help you. Dammit, Ace, if you go running off in this world, there are creatures out there that will do things to you far worse than what Cardelian has planned.”
I don’t believe him. His grip on my hands loosens as my hold on the dagger tightens. His body is still pressed against me, pushing me into the wall. I can feel every ridge of him, every muscle. I have never been this close to a boy before. It’s as confusing and as terrifying as it is exciting and intimate. Every feeling I had toward him comes crashing back, stopping on the one thing that I’ve wanted since I first laid eyes on him. The desire to kiss him overcomes me.
I’ve never wanted to kiss someone so bad before. Maybe it’s the poison coursing through my blood making me delusional, but my eyes lock on his mouth. The two silver studs nestled in each corner of his bottom lip catch the lights moving along the wall. He is still, silent, watching me, as if waiting to see what I’m going to do. If I will agree to stop fighting him.
Nothing else seems to matter but those lips. Not being stranded in another world. I want to feel them on mine. Would he kiss me gently, or push hard so I felt the pressure of the metal on my own? Heat flares in my cheeks, traveling down my neck.
“It’s okay,” he whispers, breaking my thoughts.
He is too close to me, and I can feel cold coming off him, mixing with the heat of the cave. He leans down, and I tilt my head in response. His breath is cool on my skin, and it trails down my neck like fingers caressing it. I bite at my bottom lip, holding back a sigh that threatens to escape off my tongue. My eyes flutter shut.
“Nothing will ever be okay again.” My voice breaks on each word. Why does he make me feel this way? How, after everything that has happened, can I still feel weak around him?
I hush the small voice in my head, telling me to push up on my toes and meet him with a kiss. I gather any composure I can muster before opening my eyes. Once I look at his face, I know that I will be staring into those pale, pale blue eyes. The ones that are ice cold, but warm every part of my body. The ones that glow. They will unravel me, leaving me even more vulnerable to him then I already am. I need to keep it together.
Slowly I open my eyes, gripping the dagger so tight that I can feel the moon and stars on the hilt tattooing the palm of my hand, reminding me that this is all very real.
Jaxson looks at me deeper than anyone ever has before. I suck in sharp breaths, each one is a razor. He is something I can never have.
He studies me with those eyes, and I try to stand strong against the flood of emotion that surges through me as if I can see all the happiness in the world waiting for me to reach out and touch it. It’s mixed with sadness that threatens to drown me.
There is something else, and it flashes like lightning in a stormy night sky—dark and menacing. A secret is buried deep within him. The pale blue turns into dark midnight-black orbs, recognizing what is about to happen even before I know what I’m going to do.
I bring my hand down with a force that takes everything in me, plunging the dagger deep into the flesh of his neck. He stumbles to the side, reaching for the hilt, and his hand comes away coated in a sticky silver liquid. I push off the wall and jump.
Falling is the easy part—the freedom of the plunge, the lightness of it, everything else disappears. It’s the landing that is the hard part, the part were reality hits so hard it sends you toppling over, and the realization of what you did strikes you in the gut. Just like the knife, I plunged into Jaxson.
Jaxson
. I open my eyes, looking for him. I could have just killed the only boy I’ve ever cared about. But I had to get away. Still, I search frantically for him. Oh, God, please. All I see is the spinning lights in the black before I slam into the water.
It crushes me, swallowing me whole and spinning me around until I don’t know which way is the surface. I kick, pushing and swimming with everything I have in me. The water is hot and feels heavy and thick. It tastes like roses and coats my throat as I drag in large gulps that strangles my lungs as the river pulls me deeper, I fight, trying to reach the surface, but each movement only pushes me farther down. It’s only when I stop struggling that the water surges me forward and up. It tosses me in the dark, slamming me into hard objects with jagged edges. There are moments that I’m pushed against the cave walls, the water crushing me. I try to climb to safety but the edges are too high, and I only manage to rub my fingers raw with each attempt. The current grips me again, pulling me under. It carries me out and miles down the river, where I manage to pull myself ashore.
Fighting the current and clawing my way to shore is the easy part, remembering what I did is the hard part. My heart constricts as I think of it. “Jaxson,” I whimper.
Did he survive?
I was so desperate to get away that I would do anything to accomplish it, even if it meant hurting him, but now I am not so sure I did the right thing. My stomach burns at the thought, and I’m thankful it’s empty. What does it matter if I get out of this place alive? I will always have what I did in my mind. I will never forget. I never wanted to play this game. I never asked for any of this. I press my hands to eyes and cry.
“You sure have a funny way of thanking someone for saving your life.”
I look up into the face of the boy who should be dead. Jaxson vibrates in my vision.
“How?” I ask, staring up at him. He should be hurt or worse. But, he’s not. In fact, he’s perfectly fine except for being soaking wet.
“Let’s just say I’m durable.”
“But I stabbed you. I saw the blood.”
“I’m fine,” he growls. “You, however, are not. Here, eat this.” He kneels down in front of me, holding out a handful of what looks like weeds.
“I’m not eating that. It’s probably poison.” My tongue feels swollen, and the words sound funny in my mouth.
“If I really wanted to kill you, I would just let the poison finish the job. Either eat this now, or I will wait until you pass out and force it down your throat. One way or another, you are eating this.”
I snatch the weeds out of his hand, shove them into my mouth, and chew. I don’t want him to touch me. If I’m going to be poisoned, it will be by my own hands. It’s the only control I have at the moment. The plants are bitter going down, but I force myself to swallow.
“I know it tastes bad. Normally, it’s given as a tea with moon flower to cut the bitterness, but we don’t have time to make tea. The poison is moving through you much quicker than most.”
“And by most, you mean other creatures like you,” I mutter, the throbbing in my head slowly beginning to subside.
“Yes.” Disdain drips from the one simple word. “How are you feeling?” he asks after a few silent minutes. My head is starting to feel better, but my shoulders still ache.
“Fine.” I pull my shirt back to examine the wounds. They are red and angry, and blood still drips from them.
Jaxson gets up and takes some of the weeds, mixing them with water from the black river and making a paste in his hand.
“Here,” he holds out his hand, “put it on your wound. It will draw out the rest of the poison.”
Not trusting him, I narrow my eyes, but I take a finger full and rub it on my wounds anyway. A sigh of relief escapes me as the cold paste extinguishes the fire that burning my skin. He takes the remainder of the paste and applies it to the spot where I stabbed his neck.
My stomach clenches. “I–I–I …” I stop, not knowing what to say. Sorry seems too insignificant, and I’m not sure I wouldn’t do it again if I had the chance. The only thing that I’m certain of is we are playing a game, and I do not know what rules Jaxson is playing by. He stares out into the distance, and I wish he would say something to me, anything—that he understands, or that it was only a scratch, that he hates me—but he is silent, unreadable.
“We need to get moving,” he finally says.
“Where are we going?”
After a moment of hesitation, he looks at me. “I’m going to take you home.”
He’s the only one that knows how to get home, so I have no choice but to trust him.
I am tired and wet, the air here is cold, and I just almost drowned. I am not about to go anywhere yet. My hair is sticking to my face, and my clothes hang limply off me. Jaxson pulls me to my feet, and I try to ignore the cold electricity that runs through me when he touches me.
I yank my arm away from him. “I need to rest,” I whimper. I ache all over and feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. I guess that’s what almost dying more than once feels like. “Just for a little while.” I fall back down, clutching at the wet sand, but I’m yanked up once again and shoved forward.
“We don’t have time for you to be weak. You can rest when we are off this forsaken beach,” he says harshly while his eyes dart around nervously like something is about to jump out at us.
There nothing as far as I can see but the endless beach. “God, you’re such a jerk!” I yell, no longer feeling bad for stabbing him. “You know, you could be a little nicer.” I yank my sweater out of his grip, taking a wobbly step away from him. When he takes a step toward me, I can see the anger radiating off him, making me wish I still had that dagger.
“I don’t have time to be nice. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m trying to save your life, and you’re not making it easy,” he says between gritted teeth.
“That is not my fault,” I protest. “All I know is we are playing some sick game where the winner feeds on my soul. You could be taking me somewhere and try to make a picnic out of me.”
He snorts. “And here I thought you were different. I thought you, of all people, wouldn’t judge someone because of their title.” He narrows his eyes at me.
“But you’re not a person, you’re all
Lord of the Rings
, pointy ears and magical powers. That is not a person.” I cringe once it’s out. Not only do I hate myself for saying it, but I also don’t mean it. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have.” I reach for him but quickly pull my hand away.
He ignores my apology, and I don’t blame him. Guilt makes me fall silent, and I follow him.
We have been walking in silence for what feels like hours, and we are no closer to being off this beach than before.
“Where is this place exactly?” I ask no longer able to take the silence anymore.
“Far,” he says, still angry with me.
Since I’ve had hours to come up with a list, I ask him another question that has been itching at my mind. “Can you fly?”
He stops, spinning on me fast, and anger flashes dangerously in his eyes. I fight the urge to step away from him, wishing he didn’t intimidate me the way he does.
“Does it look like I’m a freaking faerie?” he snaps.
“No, but neither did Cardelian, and he sure turned out to be one. He is one, right?” I say in defense, pushing my bangs back out of my eyes.
“If you stop asking so many stupid questions, we might actually make progress on getting out of this place before night fall, and trust me when I tell you that you don’t want to be out here in the dark.”
I get that he’s angry with me, and I don’t blame him, but I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t ask to be part of this game, or to be brought to some weird faerie-elf world. Plus, he was the one that put the dagger in my hand and gave me the permission to do what I did.
“I think I can handle whatever else comes my way, seeing as I just survived some weird lizard creature attack and being kidnapped into this world.” He sidesteps or has a snarky comment for every question that I ask him.
“You’re mad, I get it. I’m sorry I … I hurt you. But I’m not taking another step until you start answering my questions.” I plant my feet deep into the black sand.
“This is not the time or place for questions. I gave you permission to use the weapon against me if you felt you were in danger … I just didn’t think …” He rubs at the spot on his neck. It is completely healed now, and the only sign of what I did is a thin silver line. He shakes his head, turns away, and continues to walk into the frozen abyss ahead of us.
However, I meant it. I’m not moving until I get some answers. I will stand on this black, frozen beach until something else comes along to eat me.
Jaxson turns around when he realizes I really I’m not following him like a little puppy. His eyes turn cold and dark, his glare treacherous. “If I have to throw you over my shoulder and carry you out of here, Ace, so help me, I will.”
I stare right back, trying my hardest to shoot lasers from my eyes at him. I’m ready for a fight. “I’m not moving until I get some answers, and if I have to hurt you again, I will.” I clutch my hands, standing my ground. “I have been kidnapped, brought into this weird, twisted paranormal universe. Dropped from the sky, had mermaids want to take out my eyes and wear them, and almost eaten by some lizard creature. Not to mention nearly drowned in a river that one moment is like floating in a hot tub and the next is freezing ice water that could give the Arctic a run for its money. I learned you are some magical faerie… I have the right to have a few questions answered. So you better start talking if you want me to cooperate.”
“I already told you I am not a faerie, I am elfin.”
“Whatever. I’m not moving until I get some questions answered.”
Jaxson starts forward, and I’m ready for a fight, so I do what anyone in my predicament would do. I drop to the ground and focus all of my energy on being dead weight.
Jaxson doesn’t pull me to my feet, this time. He kneels down next to me. “You’re right.”
“Excuse me? Did my ears just deceive me?” I say in a snarky tone.
“I’m not going to repeat myself.”
I glare at him again, and he sighs.
“Wow, you are stubborn. Okay, you’re right. You didn’t ask for any of this, so the least I can do is answer your questions.”
I was expecting a lot more of a fight, maybe even some kicking and screaming on my part. Slightly disappointed, I stand up and wipe the sand off my backside. “Okay.”
“Okay.”
“So you’re an elf?”
“Yes. Well, now that we have that covered, can we move this along?” He pushes his hair out of his face, and butterflies take flight in my chest.
“Hey, I ask the questions. You answer them without a snarky remark. Otherwise, I sit back down and wait for the next impending doom to come around that bend.” I point to the black jagged cliffs that jut out in the distance.
“Yes, I’m an elf.” He sighs, repeating himself.
“Why don’t you have pointy ears?”
He rubs a hand absently over the tips of his ears. “My body changes in your world. If we stay here long enough, I will change back … and I’ll grow a tail.”
“Really?” I gasp, trying to imagine him with a tail.
“No.” His lip twitches into a smirk.
“That is strike one,” I warn.
“I will not grow a tail, but my ears will change. Does that bother you?”
Unable to find any words, I just shake my head no. His eyes take on a predatory look, and my heart quickens.
Stop it! Just hours ago you were plunging a dagger into him. Remember, this is a game, and you are just trying to survive it until someone calls checkmate
.
“Anything else?” he asks.
“I was brought here because of some game that you and Cardelian are playing?” I already know the truth, but I want to hear it from him, to have him confirm it.
“Cardelian is playing a game, I’m not. I’m just trying to get you back home safely.”
“How does Abby fit in to this sick game?”
Jaxson looks behind me at the wall of smoke that hovers above the river. I can tell that Abby is something he doesn’t want to talk about. I can see an internal battle raging inside of him. It’s written on his face—the way his jaw is set tight and his mouth turned into a thin line.
“Jaxson. How does she fit into this?” I snap.
“When we left Faeylon there were five of us. Cardelian, myself, a brother and sister, and Abby. We split up when we entered your world. The twins had family in the city that they went to find, and Abby, Cardelian, and I stuck together. At first, we stayed near the veil between realms, but we soon learned that what came out of the veil was more dangerous in your world for us. So, we moved away. We had no protection. Our magic was still new. We didn’t know how to properly practice it, so we went farther into the woods and found an abandoned cabin.
“It was pretty cool at first, with just the three of us. Cardelian built fires with his magic, Abby knew what berries were not poisonous. I could hunt squirrels, but other than that, the only thing I could do was turn water into ice. Not useful unless you are bored and pegging your friends with snowballs.
“Then, one day, we were wandering through the woods, looking for something else to eat besides berries and squirrels. A family that was camping found us and brought us to the nearest ranger station. At first, they thought we were runaways, but with no identification or missing reports filed on us they put us in foster care.”
Okay, so that explains nothing!
A million more questions run through my head.
“What is she? Is she a …” I can’t say the word, it’s still too weird, so Jaxson says it for me.
“Is she elfin?”
I nod my head.
“No, she is Fae like Cardelian.”
“So she has wings that are made of fire?”
Now, he smiles. “That is a discriminatory statement, not all Fae look alike.”
“Well excuse me! How am I supposed to know what the politically appropriate term is?” I pout, which only makes him chuckle. I cross my arm over my chest. “I’m so glad you are finding this amusing.”
“I do.”
We glare at each other again, but his eyes are warm this time. But I know too well that soon enough a storm will pass through them.
Finally, he answers me. “No, she is not like Cardelian. She is from the city of night.”
“What happened to her?”
He runs a hand through his hair. “When we went into foster care, Abby got placed fairly quickly. She hated being separated from us, but her foster parents were really kind to her, and that was something that she’d never had. She never had a real mother and father.
“Cardelian and I bounced around to different homes, but we made sure we stayed near Abby. When we could, we would practice whatever little magic we knew together. Then, last year, when we all fully came into our powers, things started to change between the three of us. Cardelian became more aggravated, and he started to spend more time by himself. Abby and I spent more time together, and Cardelian didn’t approve. Even though he accepted me, he still believed that fae and elfin should stick with their own kind.
“Then Abby started to have nightmares about me. At first,I didn’t think anything of it, but then she stopped sleeping. She would try to stay up, going nights without sleep, bu
t
e
ven Fae cannot go long without rest. One night, she was attacked in her dream. She got away, but barely.” Jaxson looks down at my hands a sadness heavy in his eyes.
“You can’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault.” I try to reassure him.
He shakes his head in defeat. “Nothing I did stopped the dreams from coming. Every time she slept, she had to fight for her life. I tried everything I could think of to help her. I searched for other magical creatures looking for answers. But no matter what I did, no matter what I found, nothing helped.
“She began to change, losing more and more of herself. I was going mad trying to find a cure for her. I would sneak in her window and sit on her bed while she slept. One night, she began to scream my name over and over again. I didn’t know what to do. I could only watch as she was attacked in her dreams.
“I realized she was not screaming my name for help, but in fear, pure terror. Whatever it was attacking her was doing it as me.” He drops his head, shielding his face with a curtain of black hair. “Her dreams stopped after that night, but she was never the same.”
He stops walking, and I feel for him. I want to comfort him, but I don’t know how.
“That day they said I attacked her, I begged her to come back here to Faeylon with me. I thought if we could just get back here, someone would be able to help her. But she was more afraid of Faeylon than her dreams. When she refused to leave, I told her she deserved what she got.”
“Jaxson, I’m so sorry.” I reach out for him but pull my hand back, pressing it tightly against my chest.
“Those were my last words to her. I didn’t mean any of them, but I never got to tell her that because she lost her mind. I didn’t realize it was Cardelian until he took an interest in you and Juliet. He had found a way into Abby’s subconscious. That isn’t easy magic, and his kind usually doesn’t hold that type of power,” he says quietly. “I believe that he was working with Fae, and they were teaching him how to use dark magic.” He shakes his head as if he can clear away the thought of Abby, but I know he can’t.
I only met her for a few minutes, yet even I hurt for her. I remember how she ripped out chunks of her hair, the deep scratches that ran down her cheeks, and her vacant eyes. “I don’t understand what Abby ever did to him. How could anyone torture someone like that?” I wipe at the tears stinging my eyes as exhaustion settles in.
“It’s all a game to him, and I didn’t stop him.”
“Jaxson, I know what it’s like to lose someone you love to their mind.” It doesn’t matter what species you are. Love is the same for all.
He looks down at me and is silent for a long time before he nods in understanding. He leans closer to me, the invisible thread of losing someone connecting us.
“Eden, I…”
“Yes.” I step closer, leaving little space between us.
He turns his head, and I think he might kiss me. My eyes flutter shut, and I tilt my head towards him, wanting to know what it feels like to be kissed by an elfin boy, by magic. I wait, but he doesn’t kiss me. My eyes fly open, feeling stupid. His head is cocked to the side as if he can hear something. I listen, too, but can’t hear anything.
“What is it?” I scan the horizon for that lizardlike creature. I don’t see anything except dead trees and black sand stretched out in front of us for miles.
“We need to move faster. We can finish this conversation another time.” His hand hovers by his waistband where the dagger rests.
“What is it?” I whisper again.
“He knows we are here.”
“Who?” My stomach twists, tying up in a million knots at the possibility of what is out there.
“My father.”
His tone makes me think I would rather take my chances with the lizard monsters back in the cave.