Dark Layers Volume 2: Dark Layers (25 page)

"Why Miss? I'm sure Mr. Darks has everything you need." He says while pulling away from the curb.

"I'm sorry but I need booze, now!"

I hear him chuckle, "sure thing."

WE PULL UP
to Elijah's house. I feel better, better than the last week - I feel alive again. I have drank a few shots of vodka and I feel strangely good, confident. I want to tell Elijah off but will that send him the wrong message? I did after all tell him to leave and never return until he is in love with me.

We stop just outside of his front door and Elijah appears. My heart sinks at the sight of him - oh how sick I am, how disgustingly sick it is how much I have missed him. He looks casual; he's wearing black joggers and a grey V-neck T-shirt. His hair is tussled, loose. His face is warm. He's excited to see me, I can tell, I can see it in his eyes.

He opens my door smiling. He doesn't hold his hand out to me - he knows I will not take it. I step out flush against him. I inhale deeply while closing my eyes. Darks flu,
hmmm.

"I have missed you too." He says in a low voice.

He shuts the car door. I smile; my eyes turn warm. I feel nervous though, it's as though I'm suffering for the first time all over again.

"Shall we?" He gestures for me to enter his house.

I walk in front of him on shaky legs; I'm desperate to be in his comfort zone. I make my way to the living area via the vast picture filled hall. His place still smells like just baked bread - home; I smile fondly. I reach the living area and frown. I was expecting a grand gesture - but I am sort of happy he hasn't made one; I like movies, sweets and cuddles - not posh restaurants and champagne.

I turn to find Elijah standing right behind me.

"What are you doing lingering like that?" I ask, still smiling foolishly.

"Just admiring the view."

"Yes, your house is lovely."

He laughs, "not that view."

"Oh." God I'm such a dick!

"So you have decided then?" I ask serious with one raised eyebrow.

"I already knew, I just needed your absent confirmation."

I frown, "absent confirmation?"

"Yes, absence makes the heart grow fonder." He places his hands in the pockets of his joggers.

"That's a nice quote."

"It's true." He grits is teeth in agony. "Do not ever do that again Anile." He says clipped. His eyes turn immediately cold, unlit.

I flush puce. His voice is so harsh, unexpected.

"I did it for a good reason."

"At the expense of my pain?"

I blink rapidly; I breathe faster, faster than ever before.

"Elijah, I have been in hell too."

"All the same, do not ever do it again. I will make you suffer Anile."

My body stiffens. "Elijah, don't turn into a Bastard because I got you for once. You cannot always win."

"No?" He asks while narrowing his eyes at me.

"No." I snap while gritting my teeth. God he's so annoying!

"Get on the floor on all fours Anile." He orders deadpan.

"What?" I gasp.

"You heard me - or did my clear English fall through your ears?"

"Fuck no! I am not a dog Elijah!"

"Do it or I will make you." He smiles viciously.

Is this a game or is he being serious?

"No!" I say, elongating 'no'. I am now ready for his punishment, I do not care anymore. If we are going to be in a relationship I have to endure his darkness fully.

He unexpectedly grabs my arms with full force. He pushes me back until my legs meet his sofa. We stand still; he's still grasping me. I say nothing; I am so prepared he has no idea. I feel anger beat in rhythm with my heart but I contain myself.

"On all fours or I will spank you Anile." He warns.

He's just inches away from my face. I don't fear him - I'm high off of Darks flu and vodka!

"I tell you what," I smile darkly, "if you let me spank you, you can spank me. I will get on all fours willingly while you spank me, and I'll even count for you."

"What?" He gasps; he's shocked.

"You heard me." I say.

He releases my arms. The longing hits me, right where my heart is -
stay focused Anile!

"Have you ever been spanked before Elijah?" I ask.

He frowns and starts blinking rapidly. He thrashes his hand through his locks. He looks nervous. He lowers himself onto the sofa, slowly, questioning himself.

"No."

"Well, we have something in common. How can you spank me if you do not know whether it will hurt me?"

He shakes his head - damn he's so confused. I have got him for sure this time. He rises to his feet, he looks totally pissed!

"Anile, get on all fours now!" He screams with tense arms and while blood shot eyes.

"No!" I scream right back at him. My arms are tight - I'm ready to hit this mother fucker!

He grabs something from behind one of the green cushions. Fuck, what the hell is that? I stare wide-eyed. It looks like a white bat that's made from leather! He hits the fireplace with the bat and a loud slapping sound fills the vast living area. I jump back a few steps but I try desperately to hold my own.

"I am ordering you on your fucking knees!" He tries once more with animalistic eyes.

"No." I say calmly.

He starts shaking like a mad man. I don't know if he's angry with me or himself.

"Elijah, what the hell is wrong with you?" I take one step towards him, my hand held out to him.

"I feel sick. I feel fucking sick. My chest hurts; my tummy hurts; I cannot eat; I cannot sleep - you have made me fucking ill!" He screams with tears in his red eyes.

I start to tremble, my hands involuntarily shake.

"Elijah." I whisper softly. I reach out to him again but he swiftly takes my arm and throws me on the sofa. He climbs atop of me and grasps my face with too much force - he's hurting me but it's nothing compared to the pain I have endured the past week. He just stares at me. His eyes look wild, he looks lost inside himself. My heart is pounding so damn hard that I feel like I'm going to pass out.

"I'm not scared of you." I whisper breathless. I take his hand in mine and just hold it while he grips my face.

"You should be." He says nastily.

He grits his teeth while his nostrils flair. I don't know what the hell has happened to him but I fear I have now broken him altogether.

"You would never hurt me; you told me you wouldn't - I trust you." I feel a lump in my throat. Tears try to break free of my eyes.
No, stay cool Anile - you have got this.

He closes his eyes tight. He's defeated. He climbs off of me and sits beside me. I gently pick myself up. I sit beside him, still like stone.

"Anile, why do I feel like this?" He asks. He leans his elbows on his knees. He cups his face.

"Elijah, this is what it feels like to love someone." I say affectionately.

He quickly looks up at me. His eyes are crazy. "If this is what it feels like then I do not want to love you!"

Chapter Sixteen

I GET TO
my feet faster than lightning. I am angry, so fucking angry!

"You don't want to love me? Well shall I leave?" I snap. My hands are curled into fists; my teeth are practically growling on their own - this Bastard!

"You are not good for me Anile, you have made me ill." He says low.

"I'm not good enough for you." I say breathless. "Well do you want me to leave you?" I gasp.

He shakes his head while peering up at me. "I don't know. I don't want to feel alone, I don't want my damn chest to hurt Anile!" He says serious. He's grasping his knees with too much force - he's almost as angry as I am.

"Well now you know how it fucking feels!" I scream while pointing a firm finger at him. "You left me for an entire week before - left me in the dark and fucked off with Jezebel! You left me without so much as a courtesy call Elijah. Everything is not on your terms. You may be smart when it comes to games and the art of alluring, but I am smart when it comes to feelings and making things work. I am not just here for your entertainment, I am a fucking person."

"I did not sleep with Jezebel." He says while lowering his head.

"Then why do you look so guilty? Hmmm?"

"Because she has gone missing."

Oh, that's news to me. "Well where the hell is she?"

He stares up at me looking like Zeus. His pink lips are in a grim line. His thick raven eyebrows are in a deep frown. He rises to his feet with tense arms.

"If I knew where she was then she wouldn't be fucking missing!"

"I'm sorry Elijah but that is not my problem, you are!" I say crossing my arms.

"Oh, so I am a problem now?" He says with raised eyebrows. His head is hunched so he can look down at me - he's trying to intimidate me but it isn't working.

"No, not a problem - 'the' problem. What the hell do you want? Do you want to be with me or do you want to fuck? It's a simple question."

"I don't want to feel pain."

"Neither do I, so stop with the games; stop with the dick contests. Trust that everything I do, I do it for you."

He sighs while rubbing his forehead. He looks confused again - what the bloody hell is wrong with this man?

"Where do we go from here?" He whispers.

"What do you want Elijah? It is a simple question." I say exhausted.

"I do not want pain."

"Neither do I. You were only hurt because I told you to leave - it's not real pain, it's missing someone. I feel it all the time when you leave without so much as one word."

"You do?" He asks frowning, still holding his stupid head.

"Yes Elijah. I thought you would have noticed." I mentally deflate.
Boy oh boy he is one damaged cookie.

"You always seem so strong. I know I make you feel off balance but you still always seem strong."

"Do I?" My face is screwed up like an old twenty-pound note. How the hell did he come to that conclusion?
Koalemos is definitely in the building.
I was strong, before him. I was independent, strong minded, witty; I was everything I am not now.

He doesn't answer me, he just appears to have lost all account of how to speak.

"Elijah, do you want this - us?" I motion my hands between us.

He blinks rapidly, "does it always hurt like this?"

I smile fondly, "no - it doesn't always hurt like this." I lower my head - now I'm confused. "It's strange how you know everything about sex, women, money, games, and nothing of making things function properly. Whereas I know how to make us work; you just have to want it bad enough - want it as much as I do Elijah."

He smiles fondly, his mood rapidly changing. He lowers his hand and places both of them in his pockets.

"That is why we are good for each other. We can help one another," he says soft, "I want you Anile."

"That is all I need to know. Let me carry you Elijah, let me take care of you emotionally."

"I do not want to hurt you Anile; I do not want to ruin your innocence - and I also do not want to hurt anymore. The pain that's been living in my chest, it's too much." He says decrepit.

"I am not a child." I smile weakly, "a great man once told me that everyone has to suffer in order to achieve. And I will suffer to save you Elijah."

"Who gave you that awful advice?" He smiles tenderly with watery eyes.

"God knows." I try to joke, knowing damn well it was him.

I step towards him - he doesn't move away. I take his hands out of his pockets. I open them fully and kiss his palms, one after the other. "Elijah I know we need to talk... but I'm really tired. I haven't slept properly for so long; can we rest and talk some more later?" I say.

"I would like that, I have not slept for days either." He says while gazing down at our hands.

I take his face in my hands. I move his lips away from mine and for the first time ever, he allows me to touch his face properly. I kiss his cheek, tenderly.

"Come, let's nap on the sofa." I say.

"Don't you want to go upstairs to my bed? It's much more comfy."

"After today, I cannot manage another minute on my feet. The sofa is good."

He sighs while biting down on his lower lip. He peers down at me with soft eyes.

"Okay, the sofa it is."

Holy shit that was easy! Maybe I should maintain my bullish persona to keep him in check!

He wraps his arms around me, squeezing me tightly. He clutches at the hem of my T-shirt. I hold him gently, fitting my face between his shoulder and his cheek. He inhales my scent before pulling me down on top of him. I get comfortable. I don't want to be anywhere else but here. We lay still on the sofa and I listen to his breathing, in softly, out softly. My eyes feel heavy, as does my brain. I become comatose, desperately hoping to wake to a better day with Elijah.