Read Dark Mind (The Dark Mind Trilogy Book 1) Online
Authors: Matthew Goldstein
“Great,” Cole said. “So I guess you didn't hear. I really hate talking about this but
I might as well tell you since you'll hear about it from my mom anyway.”
“Tell me about what? You don't have to be afraid to tell me anything.”
“I'm not afraid.” He sighed, his gaze fixated on the carpet. “My house burned down.”
“Oh my! Oh...
my... Oh...”
“We have no idea how it happened but we're living with my Aunt Beth for now. That's why I didn't wanna talk about it. It sucks. Can we talk about something else? Like my real friend?”
“I know you don't want to talk about it,” Dr. Stern said, “but that may be precisely why you should. You need to work through serious life traumas.”
“I'm gonna be straight with you. Yeah, it sucks, and yeah, I'm upset about it, but with everything else that's been going on, it's almost overshadowed.”
“You have my attention.”
“It's just that now that we lost everything we have to live with my aunt and my mom's broke. And my friend is cool but she's...
unhappy at home.”
“I'm sorry, Cole. That is a lot to handle but we can work through it. Where would you like to begin?”
“I don't really wanna get into any of it.”
“Your friend. You said her name was Amy?”
“Yes.”
“Tell me more about how you met her.”
“Dr. Stern...” Cole looked up at her in exasperation and was surprised to see a hint of a smile on her face.
“I figured about as much. We are going to talk about all this soon but first I'm going to try something new. Mix things up a bit.
I want you to lie down and close your eyes.”
“Dr. Stern, no offense but we've already been through this.”
“Just do it. Trust me.”
Cole sighed but obeyed.
“Good. Now what do you see?”
“What do you mean what do
I see? My eyes are closed.”
“Exactly what
I said. What do you see?”
What is she getting at?
“I don't know. Some black blobs?”
“Try to distinguish the shapes. What do you think the blobs are?”
“Seriously?”
“Cole! Stop fighting me and do as I ask.”
“All right, all right. Umm... Let's see... Chocolate pudding? A swamp monster? Pools of blood? Some weird faces?” He heard some scribbling sounds as Dr. Stern wrote on her pad. “Can I open my eyes?”
“No, keep paying attention to the shapes and tell me anything else you see.”
Cole watched the black shapes drift lazily inside his eyelids. He saw strange patterns come and go but nothing distinguishable.
This is stupid.
The shapes had started to move faster and he heard a familiar whisper in his head.
Not these again. Not now.
As it began to grow in intensity, he thought the shapes were beginning to form faces. A sudden shiver ran down his spine and his eyes snapped open. “Can we do something else?” he said, trying to keep the fear out of his voice.
“What's wrong?”
“Nothing. Please, let's do something else.”
Dr. Stern scribbled on her pad. “What are you thinking about right now? Tell me whatever words come to mind first.”
“I'm thinking that you're being weird today. Um. Table. Couch. Wall. Floor.”
“Don't just name things in the room. Close your eyes and tell me what you're thinking.”
“I don't want to.”
“Why not? Is something bothering you?”
“No, I... Fine, whatever.” Cole closed his eyes, praying the faces and voices would not return.
How did this start happening? What am I supposed to never close my eyes again?
“Good. Now just start spouting random words.”
The whispers were still present but less noticeable if he did not focus on them. “Bored. Black. Swirly. End. Antelope. Ax. Hypocrisy. Small. Lone. Win. How many words do you want me to say?”
“That's good. Now, without thinking about it, tell me off the top of your head, what's your greatest fear?”
“Being alone. No wait. It's... Why did I say that? Why did you make me say that?”
“It's okay to open up, Cole,” Dr. Stern said, smiling. “You can open your eyes now. Time's up.”
“Can you tell me what that was all about?” Cole said as he followed her out of the room.
“Sorry, no. It's part of a new technique I'm trying out. It will take multiple sessions. I look forward to our next visit.”
“Um, yeah.”
As soon as Cole left, Dr. Stern picked up the phone and dialed. “Brent? I don't know how you do it.”
There was a chuckle from the other end of the line. “So I take it went well?”
“Oh, yes. It was the first time I've gotten him to open up. I feel like I breached the castle wall. I have to ask, how did you know that would help without even knowing the disorder?”
“Call it intuition. Sometimes with these stubborn children you need to catch them off-guard. Although to be fair, I wasn't certain it would help. I had some other suggestions had that one failed but I guess you got lucky.”
“So simple, yet so effective. Seems obvious once you think of it. How can I ever thank you?”
Brent's voice was jovial. “You can stop hating me for one.”
“Now, Brent, I don't hate you.”
“Maybe not now but what will happen next time we see each other at a conference? Perhaps we can put our differences aside. For professional reference of course.”
“I supposed we could. For professional reference. Thank you again.”
“Uh huh. And if you need any more help, don't hesitate. I like a challenge. Goodbye, Rita.”
“Goodbye, Brent.” Dr. Stern hung up the phone and shook her head, a smile plastered on her face. “Why is that arrogant bastard always right?”
16
Cole spent the rest of the day trying to piece together what had happened during the session. Dr. Stern's strange technique had him at a loss for the first time since they started their sessions. He was also now afraid to close his eyes and see those swirling blobs again. There was something unsettling about those incomprehensible whispers. At the same time that he wished desperately to hear what they were saying, he was terrified to listen.
Meredith did not get home until late that night, and Cole could only watch as she stumbled through the house, exhausted beyond functioning, and fell into bed. This trend continued over the course of the week and every time Cole saw his mother like that, the anger surged inside of him, rising to a new high tide. His sadness and sense of loss from his destroyed home only added fuel to the fire. He was starting to suffer from sleep deprivation as well from his night watches
, but despite his nocturnal vigilance and his daily caution at school, he saw no sign of Travis. Cole knew it was smart of him to lay low, as he could only imagine Cole’s desire for revenge, but nevertheless Cole was frustrated. What was he waiting for? How long would he stay in hiding? Was he just waiting for Cole to let his guard down in order to enact an even deadlier attack? Desperate to stop this, Cole sought any opportunity to go to Travis’ house, but no opening presented itself. He was growing more restless and fearful every day and knew he had to figure out something soon. This calm was not going to last.
All week Cole had been approached by students at lunchtime but he would hardly let them get out a syllable before rejecting them in some way, by glaring, ignoring or, if those failed, by outright telling them to leave him alone. He knew what they were looking for and he had no desire to satisfy their curiosity. The last thing he wanted to think about was that horrific fire. He had trouble functioning normally as it was with the nightmares while he slept and disturbing images flashing through his mind during his waking hours.
Amy never returned to school that week and Cole restrained himself from calling her house. He assumed she would return soon and he would not do anything to jeopardize her again. Still, every day he entered the cafeteria, he felt disappointment and fear for her absence. By Friday at lunchtime he felt he had reached the limit of his patience and as he sat contemplating what, if anything, he could do, he was approached by a group of students. They sat on all sides of him, the leader sitting directly across the table. Cole glared at him, having no interest in what he had to say, but he had a feeling they would not be so easily turned away as the others.
“I won’t tell you anything about it,” Cole said. “You’re wasting your time.”
“You stole Amy from us,” the leader said.
“W-what?” Cole said, confused, and suddenly feeling claustrophobic with all of them crowding around him. After a moment he understood. This was the group that Amy used to sit with before she talked to him and to whom she returned afterwards. “I didn’t steal her. She came to me of her own free will.”
“We don’t care,” the leader said. “We like Amy, we like talking to her during lunch and we want her back.”
“What do you want me to do?” Cole said. “I don’t control her.”
“Well, we were all discussing it,” the leader said. “She obviously likes you, so much she left us behind. So, we decided the easiest thing to do is to talk to you. You have to become one of our group.”
“What? I…
don’t know.”
“Just do it. Trust me, it’ll be easiest for all of us. And we’re cool. I’m sure we can get along somehow. If Amy likes you so much, there must be something cool about you.”
Cole paused, unsure what to say.
“We won’t bother you,” the boy said. “We’re just going to hang out with you.”
This was not exactly the most welcoming invitation, but for the time being, there seemed little way to fight it. “Sure,” Cole said. “What do you guys wanna talk about?”
“First of all, do you know why Amy’s out this week?” said another boy sitting next to him.
“She’s sick.”
“Wow, you two really are best buds,” a third boy said, sounding surprised.
“So what happened to you?” another asked.
“Why does everyone feel the need to ask that?” Cole said. “I’m
not
talking about it.”
“All right, no problem,” the leader said. “We won’t talk about it. I’m Martin. Cole, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Cool,” Martin said. “So what do you guys talk about all the time?”
“Playing games and reading books,” Cole blurted out before his mind could register the mistake he was making.
“Amy reads? Since when?”
“Oh, wait, no, no. You can’t tell her I told you that.”
Martin smirked. “Why not? Is she embarrassed?”
“I don’t know,” Cole said. “She just told me not to tell anyone. Please…”
“All right, man. Don’t worry so much about it.”
Cole did not like the look on Martin’s face but at this point he could see little to do except pray.
“We’re all gonna be best buds,” Martin said.
Each of them introduced themselves and then the conversation between them picked up. Cole paid little attention to what they were saying and before long the lunch period was over and they were brought outside to gym class. They continued their conversation, barely noticing that Cole lagged far behind. He obligatorily followed them to the schoolyard where he sat on the edge of their circle, eyes wandering around the yard, as he prayed for gym to end. Few times in his life had he felt more awkward than he did right now.
As he took in his surroundings, he noticed something strange. Doing a double take he saw Derek by himself, playing with a deck of cards. He was about to dismiss it as a trick of his mind when Derek looked up again. Their eyes locked, and held.
I knew it. Why is Derek watching me?
Cole broke the stare first, feigning interest in the conversation of the group, but still watching Derek out of the corner of his eye. Derek resumed playing with his cards but continued to glance up at Cole every few minutes until
gym ended. The group began to disperse, rushing past Cole back to school.
“See ya Monday,” Martin said, “with Amy.”
“Sure, see ya,” Cole said.
He hurried after them to stay ahead of Derek
, but next thing he knew, Derek was next to him, matching his pace. Cole paid him no attention, but hurried on, making sure to stay in sight of a teacher at all times.
“Where’s your girlfriend?” Derek said.
“Seriously?” Cole said. “Is it really that much fun to annoy me?”
“Don’t test me.”
“Or what? You know you're not going to do anything. Why can't you just leave me alone?””
“You little…
I swear to…” His face turned bright red and he stormed off, muttering to himself.
Push Derek to the ground or he will fall down a flight of stairs.
Cole stopped, trying to ignore the quiet murmur in the back of his mind.
Really? This is not going to end well. Derek, I hope you appreciate what I'm doing for you.
He checked around him to make sure no teachers were watching and then hurried to catch up to Derek. He brought his arms up and shoved him with all his might. Derek's arms flailed as he tried to recover his balance after the unexpected force, but it was a futile effort. He toppled to the concrete, landing hard on his side. Cole skirted back, blending into the crowd to avoid incrimination, as Derek's howl of pain brought teachers running from all directions. The few kids who had seen Cole commit the crime gave him looks but no one said anything.
Good thing no one likes him.
He hurried on, wanting to distance himself as far from suspicious eyes as possible.
The rest of the day passed in boredom as Cole watched the clock tick away each and every minute, thankful that, due to his newfound special treatment, Mrs. Taylor would not call on him.
The weekend started off much the same way. Cole saw little of his mother anymore and, when he did see her, it was usually when she was about to go to sleep. Cole spent much of his time alone in the library, thinking about all the misery that had been brought on his life, and feeling his anger building. That night, after his mother got back from work, he overheard Beth and her talking in the kitchen. He opened the door a crack so he could eavesdrop.
“…sorry, I can’t accept it,” Meredith was saying.
“You’re killing yourself with all this work. You won’t last. And if not for yourself, do it for Cole,” Beth said.
“I’ll be fine. I just have to get this job secured and then nail down a schedule.”
“At least take
some
. You have too much pride.”
“I appreciate the offer, and I’ll keep it in mind,” Meredith said, “but for now the answer is no. End of discussion.”
“Fine. Just know the offer is always on the table.”
Cole rested his head against the doorframe and closed his eyes, breathing deeply. He jerked up suddenly, swung the door wide open, and walked into the kitchen.
“Hi, Mom.”
“Hi, Sweetie. Did you have a good day at school?”
Cole hoped his mother did not notice he was having trouble feigning ignorance of her plight. “Yeah, Mom, everything was great. Are you going to bed?”
“Yeah, sorry. I promise we’ll do something special together very soon. Just been a little busy with getting my new job going.”
“No problem. Night, Mom.”
Meredith planted a big kiss on Cole’s forehead and went off to bed, leaving Cole and Beth staring after her.
“Quite the pride that one’s got,” Beth mumbled more to herself than to Cole, “to the point that it’s unhealthy.” She looked down at Cole and sighed. “I really don’t get your mother sometimes. Maybe one day you can talk some sense into her.”
“Yeah.” Cole stood there awkwardly for a few seconds, unsure of what to say, until Beth went to the sink to wash dishes, allowing him to sneak back to the library.
As he sat down to read the book on supernatural phenomena, he remembered his promise to Amy. As little as it mattered now, he figured there was no harm in asking. He was curious and it would help distract his mind from his problems for a while.
Beth was still washing dishes when he returned to the kitchen and didn't hear him approach. She was almost finished so he leaned back against the wall to wait. After she placed the last dish in the drainer, she turned around and gasped, clapping a hand to her chest.
“Cole, don't sneak up on me like that,” she said. “I thought you went to bed. What do you want?”
“Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I just had a question.”
“Yeah, what is it?”
“Um...” Cole paused, thinking back to the mask incident. “It's okay if you don't want to tell me but I was-”
“Spit it out already.”
“I found an old book on your bookshelf about supernatural things. I was just wondering where you got it from, why you have it.”
Beth tipped her head upward and Cole instinctively flinched, expecting an outburst.
“Oh yeah, that book,” she said. Her head lowered back down to look at Cole. “Found that interesting, huh?”
Cole nodded expectantly.
“Bought it about twelve years ago,” Beth said. “I got into that kinda thing around then and I did some research for a book like that. It's pretty fascinating stuff if you ask me.”
“Yeah, it is.”
“Well enjoy it. I'm going to sleep. I suggest you do the same.”
Not the most informative answer but a whole lot better than I was expecting
, Cole thought as he returned to the library. He was awake into the wee hours of the night, watching out the window, his mind drifting endlessly back to Amy. He couldn’t shake his bad feeling and growing concern for her well-being. In the middle of the night, as he was drifting off, a frantic thought struck him.
She has no idea what happened to me. She might’ve been calling my house for days and I would have no idea.
It was too late to call but he swore, first thing in the morning, he would check up on her. It was a risk he had to take and, in any case, he had a great excuse for why he was calling. How could anyone not sympathize with someone whose house was just burnt to the ground? The remembrance of that awful night brought with it all of the anger and pain, which translated itself into a fitful dream.
He awoke with a start in a cold sweat, incomprehensible horrific images swirling through his head. It was still dark outside. He got up to get a drink of water to clear his head so he could fall back to sleep. After silently retrieving a glass and filling it with water he returned to the library to sit and relax his body. As he sat back in his chair he looked out the window, and was immediately back on his feet in a panic. Outside was that same haunting car, idling in front of the house.
Terror and rage coursed through his body as he raced out the front door, but the car sped off as soon as he was outside.
“You'd better run,” he mumbled under his breath. “Just wait.”
It took a couple hours of watching out the window and controlling his breathing before he had calmed his body down enough to fall back to sleep, but even then, he awoke frequently during the early morning hours, jumping up to look outside. After that night he was sure his paranoia would never permit restful sleep until he had done something about Travis.