Dark Needs at Night's Edge (14 page)

H
ow many men had you been with?” he finally asked.

“Do you really want to know?”

Conrad nodded, though he wasn't entirely sure. He was still grinding his teeth over her stripping off her clothes for crowds of men in the twenties.

“Less than a score and more than a single,” she answered.

“Truthfully and completely,” he reminded her.

“Very well. I'd had four lovers b the time I was twenty-six.”

“That many?” He scowled, bristling about the fact that four men had known her body and he hadn't.

“Alas, that few.” Though I would have had a legion more if birth control had been more reliable.” She was so open about this subject, even seeming proud of her experience.

At least she has some,
he thought darkly. His own was nonexistent. And worse—Néomi knew it.

He'd been a young thirteen when he'd made the vow to the Kapsliga, long before he'd been able to understand exactly what it would mean to him.

Unfortunately, he had other men's memories of sex. Not one among them was what he wanted to see, to experience—some made his skin crawl. He worked to block them out as soon as they arose…. “Is that why you broke it off with your fiancé? Because you didn't only want one lover?”

She shook her head. “I was tediously monogamous.”

“Then why?”

“He hadn't done one thing specifically. But I always had a sense of disquiet about him. Regrettably, the only thing stronger than that was my need to have the very best. If there was another way to aim—except for the best, the most enviable—I didn't know of it. And Louis was the most eligible bachelor in the parish. He was extremely handsome, and the man had money—
oil
money.”

A spike of some unfamiliar feeling hit his gut, settling there to burn. “So what happened with the
oil man
?”

“I knew I'd ignored my instincts about him for too long. And I'd realized that I didn't
have
to be married. Not to him, not to anyone. I was having too much fun on my own and doing just fine financially. So, after half a year of tempting him to marry me, I changed my mind. For Louis, that proved unforgivable.”

“And how would a woman tempt a man to marry her?” Conrad asked, striving not to sound as intrigued as he was. He imagined her using her wiles on himself to get something, and the idea…
excited
him. He'd withhold whatever it was she wanted for as long as possible.

“I teased him. And then I didn't give him the milk for free.”

Milk? “Ah. I see.” At least she hadn't slept with the oil man.

“
Vingt-et-un
. I win,” she said. “Now, tell me about the injury on your arm.” When he hesitated, she added, “Any question whatsoever, truthfully and completely.”

“Tarut, a Kapsliga demon, clawed me. It won't heal until he's dead.” Conrad had been thinking that Tarut might be at that gathering. If Conrad could get free of these cuffs, he could go on the offensive and take the demon out.

“Why did he do that to you?” she asked.

“He thinks I should be dead—I disagree.”

“How could he escape you? He must have been very strong.”

“Tarut has a gang.” Many demon species instinctively hunted in packs—Conrad would have to watch for them at the gathering as well. “Overall, demons are one of the strongest species in the Lore, and Tarut is older and powerful.”

“How did you become an assassin?” she asked, the card game forgotten.

“I wanted the pay.”

“Greed, Conrad?” she asked softly. “That doesn't seem like you.”

“How would you know?” When she shrugged, he bit out, “I
needed
the pay. After the Kapsliga turned on me, I didn't know where to go or how to feed myself.”

“Go on.”

“They hunted me like a goddamned rabid wolf when I had no idea even how to survive as a vampire.” Never had he been so weak, so bewildered. Half of his family had just died; the other half had become his enemies, and he was forever changed. “I was starving, and blood was everywhere I turned. Each night, I struggled not to drag a human down and feed.”

“Then what happened?”

“Blood drawn from donors could be bought, but it was expensive. I stumbled upon a lucrative bounty for a shape-shifter, one that no one else would hunt.”

“Why?”

“Because defeating a shapeshifter is a tricky thing. By the time you figure out how to contend with one form, they shift to another. I was exhausted from thirst, and the bastard roundly kicked my ass. Just when I was about to die, this new, overwhelming instinct took over.”
His fangs had sunk into the shifter's neck and blood rushed before his eyes and slid down his throat…. Lost…

“Conrad? Stay with me. Conrad!” When he finally faced her, she said, “You were talking about the instinct…”

“It was a vampire's instinct. It ruled me. I returned for the bounty with not only the shifter's head in a burlap bag but also his memories in my head. Suddenly I was in high demand.”

She bit her bottom lip. “How many have you killed?”

“Countless. And then there were the targets I took out when I was human. I killed my first vampire when I was thirteen.”

“So young? What was your life like as a human?”

“Most of it was horrifying, cold, and desperate. If the marauders didn't get you, the plague would. You didn't want to embrace a loved one who returned home because you didn't know if they'd brought death with them. We'd been rich—but there was no food or goods to buy.”

“I'm sorry it was so hard for you and your family.”

“That part's done with at least. What was yours like?”

“The opposite. For me, life was sensual, sultry, and passionate.” Her eyes went dreamy. “I remember the throbbing heat of the French Quarter in summer. On every street, haunting music played. I frolicked in fountains and went
jazzmad
—which, incidentally, could be used as a successful legal defense in my time.” She tilted her head at him, and her hair swayed over her pale shoulder. “I wonder what you would've thought about that time and place.”

“It would have been alien to me. My culture worshipped the military and discipline.”

“Mine worshipped jazz, hooch, and the relentless pursuit of pleasure. The warlord and the ballerina—as different as we can be.”

“What did being a ballerina entail?”

“Performance after performance. Though I did like to play, when not on tour, I also trained six days a week without fail.”

“I could tell. When I saw you dance.”

“Ah, that's right. You witnessed it. The day before yesterday cracked up to be a bad day for Néomi, the lapdog.”

He scowled but still asked, “Why are you so…patient with me? After the things I said?”

“Because I know you didn't mean them. And because I don't believe you're as bad as everyone thinks.”

She had no idea. It would be best to end her flirting and playful looks of interest now. “Néomi, you have an idealized image of me in your mind. Let me make this plain for you. Less than two weeks ago, I killed a being, and I drank blood from his neck like a beast drinks from a gutter.”

Wide-eyed, she said, “Well, that image certainly does dampen your attractiveness! But luckily you have a deep voice, which I like more than I should—so that neutralizes all that beast and gutter business.”

He alternately liked and hated when she played as if she was attracted to him. “You make it sound so easy to dismiss.”

“What's past is past, Conrad. Now you must learn from it and move on. If I'd had your mentality, I would always have been a burlesque dancer. I never would have aspired to being a ballerina, a profession that brought me great joy. Imagine all the things you're missing out on. Your Bride, a family, contentment. Unlike me, you can have a future—it's out there, just waiting for you to claim it. You have so much to look forward to, if you'd just stop looking back.”

This was exactly what made her so dangerous to him—she
did
make him imagine all the things that could be. Such as having her as his Bride.

His dream…her doom.
He shook his head hard. The curse couldn't touch her—even if it was real. She couldn't physically be harmed. But he still wanted to go on the offensive with Tarut. “Néomi, when my brothers come back, you have to get the key.”

She gave him a mysterious shrug that said everything and nothing. “I'm tired,
mon grand
. I'm going to sleep.”

He spoke French fluently.
Mon grand
meant
my big man
. A teasing term of affection.

“Where do you go?” When he'd searched the house for her, he'd seen that the master bedroom had a few spare pieces of furniture, but that wasn't where she went when she wasn't with him. She had to have a secret hiding place.

“Oh, here and there.”

“Will you come back tomorrow?”

She sauntered over to him. “Honestly, vampire”—with a wave of her hand, she brushed his hair from his forehead—“if you stay charming like this, how will I ever be able to stay away?” With that, she disappeared.

But she was coming back. Because she
couldn't help herself
.

Suddenly Conrad found his lips curling.

A
nd we'd been doing so well…”
Néomi muttered, which only angered Conrad more.

Over the last three days Conrad's road to recovery hadn't been straight and even—more curving, filled with hairpin turns and many double-backs.

They were presently on a double-back.

“Néomi, make the vow that you'll get me the key!” He paced menacingly in front of the window seat she occupied. “My brothers will doubtless return tonight.”

They were already a day overdue. “I've told you I don't want to talk about this.” Giving him his freedom wasn't even an option for her. Murdoch had said that Conrad would relapse if released too soon, and she still feared he would attack his brothers if he went into a rage at the wrong time.

If her resolve wavered, she had only to remind herself that Conrad had spit blood at Nikolai's face less than two weeks ago. For centuries, his loyal brothers had searched for him—Néomi wasn't going to be the blunderheaded ghost who stupidly freed him just when he was improving.

Hiding the key from him was risky—she could predict the anger she was inviting, but she didn't want Conrad to dwell on it, not when he was slowly but surely recovering. If he was aware that she had it, he would do nothing but browbeat her for it, obsessing over it.

She'd never lied to him, instead evading the subject, but she knew if he ever discovered she already had the means to his freedom hidden in a slipper in her studio he'd be murderous….

He halted his pacing. “I know you see my brothers as heroes, but if I don't improve, they will kill me, Néomi.”

She didn't believe that but knew she couldn't convince Conrad. “Do you think I would ever let you be harmed here?” Anyone who tried to kill her vampire would find himself tossed into the bayou
pour les alligators
.

“You don't understand what's at stake!” he snapped, raising his voice to just under yelling. “In case you didn't hear them, they're keen to ‘put me out of my misery'!” A muscle in his jaw ticked—a portent that always signaled a rage was nearing.

Unfortunately, he still continued to have them. A male like him simply couldn't stand to be trapped. This situation was making him feel powerless on a continual basis, and he had difficulty moderating his aggression.

Sometimes he seemed like a powder keg about to go off. And yet she found an honesty, a purity about his fierceness. Louis had been all false faces and deception. Conrad's ferocity was raw and bare. You knew exactly what you were getting.

This didn't mean she would meekly accept it when he was hurtful. She'd once read an article about setting boundaries with the people in your life. If their behavior proved unacceptable to you, you didn't reward them with more attention. When Conrad grew unpleasant, she simply left—which had the lamentable outcome of angering him even more.

Eventually his temper would cool, and he'd find her at the folly or in the tangled garden. As he gazed at anything but her face, he'd hold out his hand and gruffly say something like
“Come”
or
“Do not stay away
….”

“Damn it, Néomi! Why wouldn't you do this for me?”

When he punched her wall, she reached her limit. “I've asked you over and over not to damage my house, Conrad,” she said in as calm a tone as she could manage. “My home might not look like much, but it's all I have. If you can't respect my wishes, then I don't want to be around you.”

So he couldn't follow, she traced outside into the late-afternoon sun. Starting at the overgrown gardens. From there she floated along the buckling, overgrown path to the folly.

As she approached, she heard unseen creatures slipping beneath the water. They sensed her easily enough. Why couldn't others? Why did it have to be only
Conrad et les animaux…
?

Anytime he tried to get control of his temper, he strode out here and paced. When she spied a worn path winding around the cypress knees along the bank, she felt another pang.
What am I going to do with him?

He
was
trying so hard. And he had made progress.

She'd seen him take a rag to his dirty boots, cleaning them as best as he could, like the soldier he'd once been. He showered every day, brushed his teeth, and shaved. Well, maybe he shaved every other day. But she liked the stubble. Every sunset, she battled her repugnance and brought him a mug of the blood left by the brothers, which Conrad drank only because it obviously cost her so much to serve it. Already his color was better, his muscles growing even bigger.

And as he improved, they talked more and more—two people who desperately needed to. Often they'd hit a rhythm, a bandying back and forth, as if their thoughts were interlocking pieces. She'd told him, “When we talk, I like how our words ebb and flow. There doesn't seem to be a need to remark on each comment, no need to clarify—it's as if we both understand that we understand each other. It's like dancing.”

“Or sex?”

She'd smiled. “Only if it's great.”

He'd given her a confident nod. “Then we would have great sex.”

Lord, we would….

They seemed to fit in every way. Yes, he was half-mad, but as a Prohibition-era ghost with a penchant for stealing condoms, moon pies, and bras, she wasn't exactly in touch with reality herself.

Conrad could see her; her presence seemed to be the only thing that calmed his mind. He was healing, and she was happier than she'd been in eighty years. Two broken souls together in this broken place had found a kind of contentment.

Maybe his being here wasn't the accident she'd thought it. She couldn't believe this was all random. Maybe he was supposed to save her from this cursed afterlife?

And maybe she hadn't learned her lessons from Marguerite L'Are. If anyone was going to save Néomi, it'd be herself….

At dusk, Conrad came to her.

Somehow looking both proud and contrite, he said, “I won't damage your house anymore.”

“
Merci d'avance
.”

He held out his hand. “I want you to come inside with me.”

“No, Conrad, not tonight,” she said, making him grind his teeth.

She knew her refusal frustrated him not only because he wanted to be near her. She believed he had a deep-seated need to
protect
her, as if she might actually need him to.

As if he felt that it was his right to.

Whenever he looked at her now, his eyes would darken in color and were becoming more and more possessive….

“I might have damaged things, but I've repaired parts as well,” he pointed out.

“C'est vrai.”
After finding some tools in the old shed by the drive, he'd fortified the manor, patching up or covering window openings and reattaching the front door he'd leveled.

Then, seeming to obey some undeniable instinct to keep her warm and safe, he'd set about rendering the master suite livable for her. He'd transferred the new mattress to the suite's bedstead, adding any available furniture to the area. In the attic, he'd unearthed an antique dresser and a chair that even she hadn't known were up there.

Once he'd miraculously cleared the chimney flue and was able to make a fire though he didn't seem to be cold and she certainly wasn't—he'd informed her that she would sleep with him in that room from now on.

His tone had reminded her that he'd been born an aristocrat and had become a warlord in the seventeenth century. Conrad Wroth was well used to having his will obeyed.

He'd seemed perplexed when she'd just laughed and deemed his domineering ways
très charmant
, and then he'd been angered when she'd reminded him that she already had a place to stay.

The fact that she had a hideaway she adjourned to every day annoyed him to no end…

“So you will come?”

When she made no move to, she could tell how badly he itched to force her inside. If she'd been corporeal, she had no doubt she'd be to force her inside. If she'd been corporeal, she had no doubt she'd be bouncing along over his shoulder as he hauled her away.

This mountain of a man was learning that his considerable might—which he'd clearly relied on for
everything
—was futile with her.

For once, her incorporeality was proving to be an advantage.

If he desired to be with her, then he either had to persuade her to come back or prevent her from leaving in the first place.

“I said not tonight.” Willingly separating from him was just as miserable for Néomi. But she couldn't let him get accustomed to taking his anger out on her house—or her.

“Do as you will,” he said in a seething tone, leaving her. But not before she spied that muscle tick in his jaw.

Late in the night, she'd just been dozing off in the studio when she heard his yell.

Before Néomi had even decided to, she'd traced to him. The second she arrived, he shot up in bed with another yell at the top of his lungs, so loud it rattled the windows.

When she hastened beside him, he swung his legs over to sit on the side of the bed.

“Conrad, it's all right. It was just a dream.”

He held his head with his bound hands, elbows to his knees as he rocked. “My head…too full.” He was squeezing it so hard, she feared he would crack his skull.

“Shh, shh,
mon coeur
.” She gave a telekinetic stroke down his back. “It's over.”

“I don't…I don't want to be like this anymore!” His tone was anguished.

“You're getting so much better,” she murmured. “Soon you won't have these nightmares.”

He narrowed his gaze at her, as if just noticing she was there. “You were…murdered—you remind me of the things I've done, of consequences,” he choked out. “And you show me what I could have had…if I'd been…different.” He grasped his head again and muttered, “You're what's wrong with my past. What has to be missing from my future.”

She knew he would remember little to none of these words—but she would. “Conrad, your future's not settled. You can have good things in your life again.”

“You're the perfect punishment for me.”

“Oh.” Stunned, she rose to leave.

He reached out to stay her. When he closed his big fist around air, he turned and struck the headboard with frustration. Eyes vacant, burning red, he rasped, “Did any man ever want his penance so much?”

She said nothing, just settled back beside him to stroke his hair from his forehead. She hated that he was in so much pain and wished she could draw it from him. He'd once been a hero, his life given over to something greater, but now he suffered.

Néomi had known that he was a broken man who needed saving. Over the last three days, she'd become convinced that he
deserved
saving.

Right at that moment, she realized it might just fall to her.

But how could she help him? She sighed, coaxing him to lie back once more. Néomi had been a dancer, raised in a demimonde concerned with little more than revelry and drinking. What did she know about bringing vampires back from the brink?

She'd simply have to use the tools she had at her disposal. And really, the medicinal values of Scotch and laughter were underrated.