I wont go out of here alone, Madge
said.
She thinks Parrys looking for her.
That's all he's got to do, look for her. Listen, Madge, if there's
anyone Parry wants to avoid more than the police, it's you. Bob's
voice was getting louder. You're the last person he wants to kill.
You're the last person he wants to see. And you know why. And you
know I know why.
What kind of a riddle is this? Irene
said.
She pestered him, Bob said. She kept
pestering him until she had a hold on him. Thats why he killed
Gert.
Youre a liar, Madge said. He killed
Gert because he hated her. And that's why he'll kill me. He hates
me.
He doesnt hate you, Bob said. Nobody
hates you. You're not the type that makes people hate. You only
make people annoyed. He didn't know he was annoyed. He didn't have
the brains to see it. He was ignorant and he's still ignorant. If
he wasn't ignorant he wouldn't have killed Fellsinger. He wouldn't
have come to San Francisco in the first place. Now it's a cinch
they'll give him the chair.
Thats makes me scared, Madge said. He
knows he's going to get the chair. He knows he has nothing to lose
now. When it gets like this they go out of their mind. They don't
care what they do. That's why I'm afraid to be alone. He'll find
me. He'll look for me until he finds me.
He wont look for you, Bob said. I know
how it is with him.
How is it with him? Irene
said.
Its a matter of psychoanalysis, Bob
said. the power of suggestion, and a bit of the identification
process. Like thisshe managed to get a hold on him, and she
increased that hold to the point where he thought he wanted her
more than anything else. Because he was weak and ignorant, he
looked for the easiest way to get rid of Gert. He thought the
easiest way was murder. Now he identifies her with trouble. He'll
stay away from her.
What do you know about psychoanalysis?
Madge said. What do you know about these things? You never had any
brains yourself. All you know is T squares and drawing boards and
you dont even know much about that. What are you? You're
nothing.
Yes, I know that, Bob said. Weve been
through that before. A couple hundred thousand times. A couple
hundred thousand years ago, when I was a monkey and I didn't know
that the only way to stop hearing that voice of yours was to walk
so far away that I wouldn't be able to hear it.
I could say plenty, Madge
said.
Thats very true, Bob said. Your mouth
is the greatest piece of machinery I've ever seen. Even if Parry is
already out of his mind he'll have enough sense to stay away from
that mouth of yours. You'd not only talk him out of killing you,
you'd talk him into taking up with you again.
Youre a dirty liar, Madge said. He
never had anything to do with me.
And Santa Claus has nothing to do with
Christmas, Bob said. Listen, Madge, I got out of kindergarten a
long time ago. And I only sleep eight hours a day. The rest of the
time my eyes are wide open. And my hearing is perfect. Put it
together and what have you got?
Either youre lying, Madge said, or
someone was lying to you.
Gert wasnt a liar, Bob said. She was
many other things but she wasn't a liar.
She lied, Madge said. She lied, she
lied-
Every word she said was Gods honest
truth, Bob said. And don't sit there with your eyes bulging out
as if you can't make head or tail of it. Will you deny that he went
to your apartment?
What?
What. What. What. Listen to
her.
Irenes voice came into it, part
confusion, yet somewhat firm. Bob, pleasedon't be a
cad.
I want her to know, Irene. I want her to
know Im not the fool she thinks I am. She thinks I was in the dark
all the time she was hiring someone to watch me.
I never did that, Madge said.
All right, you never did that. Except if
I wanted to go to the trouble I could prove that you did. Because I
got hold of the little rat you hired. And I asked him what you were
paying. And I offered him double the amount to keep an eye on you.
The very next day he made good. He came back and told me there was
a man in your apartment the night before. He told me the man stayed
about four hours.
Hes a liar, you're a liar
Everybodys a liar, Bob said. But it's
amazing the way all these lies fit together and click, like a key
opening a lock. Because he told me he followed the man from your
apartment. He followed the man home. And home was the apartment
house where the Parrys lived. If you want me to go further I'll go
further. He gave me a description of the man. I had never seen
Parry but Gert told me what Parry looked like. And you know what I
did? I put it down in black and white, with the date and time and
everything. And I had this little rat sign a statement, and if I
wanted to I could have used that statement. But I didn't and I'll
tell you why. I felt sorry for Parry. I even felt sorry for
Gert.
You kept that signed statement? Irene
asked.
Yes.
Why didnt you bring it up at the trial?
Irene asked. Why didn't you give it to Parry's lawyer?
I dont see what good it would have
done, Bob said. It would have only made things worse for him. And
it would have implicated me. I didn't want any part of it. I knew
Parry was guilty anyway and I knew he didn't have a chance to prove
otherwise.
Its all a lie, Madge said. the whole
thing is one big lie. Don't fall for it, honey. He's only trying to
paint me bad.
Madge, youre not bad, Bob said. You're
just a pest.
Madge began to sob.
Irene said, Bob, you shouldnt say things
like that.
Madge said, What he says doesnt bother
me. It's just that I'm so scared.
Irene said. I think you ought to go now,
Madge.
I wont go home alone.
Take her home, Bob.
Not me. I dont want to have anything to
do with her.
Madge was sobbing loudly.
Irene said, Madge, Im going to call a
taxi.
All right, Madge said, and she stopped
sobbing. Call a taxi. And after Im gone you can turn on the
phonograph. Her voice was stiff now, with all the sobbing out of
it, with something else in it that had the shape in sound of a
blade. Turn it on loud so you can hear it in the
bedroom.
Then everything was quiet. And everything
was waiting.
It lasted for the better part of a
minute.
Then Bob said, Would you mind explaining
that last remark?
Does it need explaining? Madge said. She
put something of a laugh into it.
I think so, Bob said. Because I havent
the faintest idea of what you're talking about.
Your memory cant be that bad, Madge
said. Don't tell me you can't remember back to yesterday
afternoon.
What about yesterday afternoon? Bob
said.
I came here to see Irene. I might as well
get this out here and now. I came here to see her. She wouldnt
answer the buzzer. I knew she was home. I was curious. So I used
the fire-escape exit and came up here and knocked on the door.
There wasn't any answer and I was ready to think I had made a
mistake and she wasn't home after all. But I could hear the
phonograph going. That meant she was in and she didn't want to
answer the door. She was in here with you. Yesterday
afternoon.
Everything was quiet again.
It lasted for a good ten
seconds.
Then Bob said, It wasnt me,
Madge.
Then it was someone else, Madge
said.
Bob laughed. It was a mild laugh yet it
was sort of twisted. He said, Of course it was someone else. You
know that. You made sure of it yesterday afternoon when you called
up the place where I work, when you asked to speak to me. You must
have called from the drugstore on the corner, right after you left
here. And as soon as I got on the phone and you heard my voice you
hung up. I was wondering about that call. Ive been wondering about
it until now.
But someone was up here, Madge said. I
heard the phonograph going.
Thats very true, Irene said. the
phonograph was going and someone was in here with me.
A man? Bob said.
Yes, Bob. It was a man.
Who was it? Bob said. His voice was all
twisted.
Seconds dragged through quiet. Then Irene
said, Vincent Parry.
CHAPTER 14
Parry was standing near the door. His eyes
were taking his body through the door but his feet were staying
where they were and pulling his body back. The itching under the
bandage was a moist itching that made little pools of itching all
over his face. And the little pools became jagged here and there
and they had facets that contained more itching. He couldnt feel
air going through the hole in the bandage in front of his mouth and
he couldn't feel himself breathing. The quiet from the other room
got through the door and shaped itself around him and began to
crush him. He thought it was because he wasn't breathing. He knew
he could breathe if he wanted to but he didn't want to because he
knew, if any air came into his mouth and down into his lungs he was
going to let it out in a shout. This thing happening now was what
he had expected, what he had expected would happen sooner or later,
when she finally realized she couldn't keep it up, so sooner or
later she must come out with it. So now she was out with it, taking
herself away from it as it came out. And now he was alone again,
and he couldn't take himself away from it as she could. He was
alone with it, and she was going away from it, and it was part of
the quiet that crushed him now. And he was alone, crushed by it.
And he knew as long as he was alone he mustn't be alone here.
Turning and staring at the window he could see the roof tops of San
Francisco forming a high, jagged wall that stared back at him and
solemnly dared him to get past, and telling him what a difficult
time it would be, what a complex time, what a lonely time he would
have of it. Sliding back at him now, coming back like a wheeled
thing on greased rails, bouncing away from a cushioned barrier, was
the memory of a night when Madge had almost captured him, when her
arms were tight around his middle and he was standing there looking
past her shoulder at the window and a San Francisco night beyond.
And wanting to twist away from her but not being able to twist
away, and he had to stand there and listen as she told him that he
was not happy with Gert, he would never be happy with Gert. With
Gert his life amounted to one agony after another, with Gert he was
only a tool that Gert picked up at widely spaced intervals, but
with Madge he would be a permanent necessity and why couldn't he
understand that he was fortunate to be wanted so badly. While she
talked he talked silently back to her, admitted to her that she was
gradually selling him a carload of merchandise, talked to himself
and asked himself what he was going to do with that merchandise
once he had it. She talked on, throwing arguments at him, and they
were sound arguments, anyway they sounded sound, and he was telling
himself that he might as well go ahead and try it out, he didn't
have anything to lose. His life with Gert was one big headache, and
if Madge lived up to a fraction of the things she was promising
now, it might be a good idea to take the gamble and let her
complete the sale. And then he wanted to get his hands free so he
could light a cigarette, and as he pulled his arms away from Madge
he heard a grinding gasp and it was Madge, gasping again, backing
away from him, asking him why he had pulled away like that. He said
he only wanted to light a cigarette. She hurled herself at a sofa,
sobbing loudly, saying that a cigarette was more important to him
than a woman who wanted him more than she wanted to breathe. She
wriggled convulsively on the sofa and all at once she sat up and
showed him a wet face and she wanted him to tell her why so many
other things were more important to him than herself. He found
himself trying to explain that these so many other things weren't
really more important, they were merely little conveniences that a
man had to have every now and then. Every now and then a man had to
take time out to light a cigarette or grab a drink of water or walk
around the block or stand alone in a dark room.
Madge refused to accept that. Madge said
it wasnt fair for him to go for that cigarette just when they were
about to put their two lives together and make one out of it. And
just then he realized what a great mistake it would be to go along
with Madge. They would never get in step because she would never
allow him to follow his own plans. She had to be in on everything.
She had to be the captain, and even if he went ahead and handed her
the captaincy she would find something wrong with that. She would
turn the captaincy over to him and when he took it she would find
something wrong with that and she would take a jump at the sofa and
start that wriggling and sobbing. He told himself she really wasn't
such a bad person, she was just a pest, she was sticky, there was
something misplaced in her make-up, something that kept her from
fading clear of people when they wanted to be in the clear. He felt
uncomfortable just looking at her there on the sofa. That was it
precisely. In the same room with her he would never be
comfortable.