Authors: Iris Johansen
“No.” She kissed his palm and pushed it aside before saying gruffly, “But I still don’t think it’s fair. I should make the decisions as to what is important to me.”
“When you’re older.” He leaned down and brushed her forehead with his lips. “I’m not the best
guide for a young girl, but I’m all you have.
You
don’t want me torn with guilt, do you?”
Cassie felt an aching loneliness as she watched them. She had never seen Jared this tender before. The strong affection between the two was bright, warm, and clearly of long standing. For some strange reason it hurt her to look at them together. She quickly turned to leave. “I have to see Lani. She’s not truly ill, is she?”
“No. I had Bradford whisk her away when I saw Carolyn’s carriage. I thought it best.”
Josette smiled slyly. “Because the gargoyle is too vain to tolerate comely women?”
Jared’s lips tightened. “How many times do I have to tell you not to refer to her by that term?”
“Sorry,” she said. “But she is vain.”
“A trifle,” Jared allowed. “At any rate, I thought it best not to complicate matters.” He glanced at Cassie. “And there was no reason to distress Lani.”
“How kind.”
He frowned. “Dammit, I’m trying to do what’s best for everyone.”
“Then I’m sure you were right to whisk Lani away. She’s lovely enough to make anyone jealous.” She moved toward the door. “While, as Josette pointed out, I’m too plain and frumpy to present any threat at all.”
“Plain?” he said thickly. “My God, plain!”
She glanced over her shoulder and inhaled sharply as she saw his expression. She quickly tore her gaze away and encountered Josette’s speculative stare. The girl was too shrewd not to realize the implication in that single expletive. “I have to see Lani,” she repeated in a muffled voice as she jerked open the door.
“May I go?” Josette asked. “You promised to introduce me.”
“Not now.” She needed to get away from both of them. “Later.” She slammed the door behind them and fled down the corridor.
“Cassie.” Jared was beside her. “What the devil is wrong?”
She didn’t look at him. “What could be wrong? Other than that I seem to be getting deeper and deeper into a web of lies.”
“You could have told Carolyn the truth.”
“I didn’t want to hurt Josette.”
“Neither do I. And I also didn’t want you hurt. Your presence here could be looked upon as improper. It seemed to be the way to serve both purposes.”
“Proper?” She looked at him in disbelief. “Propriety is the least of my concerns. You know why I’m here. What do I care what any of your friends think of me?”
“I care,” he said harshly. “And I hate it. I don’t know why I care, but I do. Do you think I like being as strict and mincing as some pruny old dowager?”
She looked at him, shaken. “I won’t let that—” Then the full impact of his words hit home, and she suddenly started to laugh.
He scowled. “I don’t see anything amusing.”
“I was just picturing you mincing into a ballroom.” She shook her head. “I really don’t think you’re capable of ‘mincing,’ Jared.”
“Lord, I hope not.” He smiled grudgingly. “Perhaps a poor choice of words.” He moved to take advantage of her softening. “Helping Josette will do you no harm. Will you continue the charade?”
She thought about it. “If it doesn’t prove too difficult.”
She frowned. “This ball you promised to attend is—”
“More than a month away,” he finished. “Who knows what will happen in a month? If you’re still here, we’ll just have to think of some reason to avoid it.”
If she was still here.
The phrase gave her a feeling of desolation. Foolishness. If she was not here, she would either be on her way to France to Papa, or they would both be on a ship bound for Hawaii. Either journey should bring her only satisfaction.
She nodded. “Very well, if Lani agrees.”
“I don’t believe there will be any difficulty with Lani.” He hesitated. “Why do you look like that? What’s wrong?”
Intimacy. Laughter. Involvement. All the things she had avoided on the ship. All of this was very wrong, and she suddenly felt helpless to keep the bombardment at bay. “Nothing,” she muttered.
She turned and hastened away from him.
Cassie took Josette to the library to meet Lani before they went riding the next day.
“The gargoyle mustn’t ever see you,” Josette said as soon as she caught sight of Lani. She emphatically shook her head. “Not even a glimpse from a mile away.”
“Gargoyle?” Lani asked.
“Lady Carradine.”
“Oh, yes, Cassie has told me about her,” she said. “Surely to refer to her as ‘gargoyle’ is a little cruel?”
“Actually, it’s cruel to gargoyles.” Josette paused and then said awkwardly, “Cassie said you’d agreed to help me. I … thank you.”
Lani chuckled. “Why should I not help you when all it means is not running to this unpleasant person and telling her you had lied? It’s true that I prefer to be honest, but this is no sin.”
“We’re going riding,” Cassie said. “Will you come with us, Lani?”
Lani shook her head. “I’ll stay here by the fire. It’s too cold for me.”
“It’s only fall,” Josette said. “It’s not cold at all. The snows won’t come for another two months.”
“Snow?” Lani shuddered. “I’ve read about this snow, and I think it’s best viewed from a window. Though Cassie remembers it with pleasure.”
“It doesn’t snow on your island?” Josette asked. “How odd.”
“Not odd at all. It’s snow that’s against nature.” Lani smiled. “Someday you must come and see how beautiful it is in our land.”
“Maybe,” Josette replied. “But Cassie says they don’t have wonderful horses as we do here.”
“A serious fault, I agree,” Lani ceded solemnly. “Much greater than your abundance of snow.”
“Are you laughing at me?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t like people who laugh—” Josette stopped and then said grudgingly, “But I owe you gratitude for helping me with the gargoyle. You may laugh at me, if you like.”
“Only with kindness,” Lani said gently. “Laughter is a balm for the soul. It would be an arid world without it.”
“Those silly girls at school laugh at me, and they don’t mean it kindly.” She raised her chin. “But I pay no attention to them.”
“Only with kindness,” Lani repeated, meeting her gaze. “I promise.”
Josette stared at her for a long moment. “You mean it?”
“Lani always means what she says,” Cassie said.
A sudden mischievous smile lit Josette’s face. “Then I guess I’ll not put cockroaches in her soup as I do those ninnies.” She waved her hand airily. “It’s too much trouble catching them, anyway.”
“Much too much trouble,” Lani said. “But you have imagination. Cockroaches in the soup are far more disgusting than the frog Cassie put in my bed when I first came to the cottage.”
Cassie laughed. “I was younger than Josette.”
Lani exchanged a smiling glance with her. “But we had our own gargoyle.”
“Did you?” Josette asked, curious. “Who?”
Lani waved a hand. “Cassie will tell you about her. Run along and have your ride.”
Cassie moved toward the door but Josette hesitated. “I’d like … You’re not like those other—” She stopped and then said in a rush, “Come with us.”
Lani was touched. The girl was clearly so accustomed to battling that to accept an adult readily was nearly impossible for her. Should she go? No, she would be in the way of the two girls getting to know each other. Cassie was going to find it very difficult here, and if she made a friend of Josette, it could only be for the best. “Another time,” Lani said. “But you’re welcome to come to me here whenever you wish.”
Josette nodded jerkily and strode toward the door.
Lani moved toward the window and watched them as they crossed the courtyard. They were both talking animatedly, Josette gesturing, Cassie nodding. Lani
felt a wave of loneliness. She had a sudden urge to open the window and call out to them to wait, that she had changed her mind. Books were always friends, but she needed human companionship in this grim fortress.
She did not call.
She turned away from the window and picked up the book she had laid down when Cassie and Josette had come in to the library. They would be better off without her, and she needed time to herself to call up memories of Charles and home. That she found those memories slipping away frightened her. In this cold, chilly land it was difficult even to think of Charles and their life together. If France was like this England, no wonder Charles had been so happy after his flight.
Yet he had still clung to his foreign ways and traditions and had never been able to embrace fully the island ways. Why? She understood his reluctance even less now than she had before.
Why was she brooding about things she had accepted years ago? Think of the good times. Charles’s sweetness to her, his need of her.
“May I come in?”
She turned to see Bradford standing in the doorway, smiling at her. That almost boyish smile was always so surprising in his lined, craggy face.
She should send him away. She had been about to refresh her memories of—
“Please?” he coaxed. “I’m lonely.”
It was a lonely day in a lonely land. She should not condemn herself for seeking to ease that loneliness for them both.
“Come in.” She settled herself in her chair before the fire and opened her book. “But don’t expect to be
entertained. This book is much too interesting for me to put down.”
“Cassie!” Josette’s shout echoed off the hall rafters.
“I’m in the library with Lani,” Cassie called.
“Well, both of you come and meet Rose.”
“Rose?” Cassie exchanged glances with Lani.
Lani shrugged and stood. “Coming.”
The thin woman standing beside Josette was nearing forty, with a lovely fair complexion and a pleasant expression. She beamed as Cassie and Lani approached. “Ah, lovely. What a pleasure you’ll be to dress.” She bustled toward the staircase. “Now, come along to Josette’s room. I must get your measurements.”
Neither Lani nor Cassie moved.
Rose turned to Josette. “They don’t trust me. Tell them how splendid I’ll make them.” She proceeded up the steps.
“Rose?” Cassie asked Josette.
“Rose Winthrop. She’s the finest seamstress in Cornwall. She made me my first pair of trousers.” She made a face. “She was disapproving, but Jared convinced her.”
“She’s going to make me a pair of trousers?” Cassie asked.
“And a few gowns.”
“I don’t need any gowns.”
“Jared thinks you do, and after seeing you last night at dinner, I agree.”
“I’ll take the trousers, but I—”
“It will do no harm to accept a few gowns,” Lani interrupted. “I’m growing weary of seeing you in those garments Clara chose for you.”
“And what if someone sees you when they drop in
to visit Jared?” Josette asked. “They would never believe Jared would permit a kinswoman to receive guests in those hideous garments. They’re terribly out of fashion, and he’s far too knowledgeable about females’ wardrobe.”
Cassie had no doubt on that score. “Then I’ll hide in the stable.”
Lani smiled and shook her head. “Don’t be foolish.”
She was being silly, Cassie realized. A few gowns would make no difference, and arguing would only lend Jared’s action importance. “Very well, if you’ll have a gown made, too.”
“Of course,” Lani said as she started up the stairs. “Several. I intend to make use of the man in every way possible.”
That should be her attitude also, Cassie thought. Yet every time she made use of him, she found herself more deeply entrenched in his life.
“You’ll see, it will be no trouble,” Josette told her. “You won’t have to make any decisions. Jared has already told her what he wants.” Josette took Cassie’s hand and pulled her up the steps. “And you’ll like Rose. She’s very quick, and she’ll be careful not to stick you with pins.”
“That’s encouraging,” Cassie said. “It would be most uncomfortable trying to ride Kapu with pinholes in my bottom.”
Two pairs of trousers and shirts and jackets arrived for Cassie the next week. The gowns arrived three weeks later.
Four of the lovely garments were in delicate pastel shades. The fifth gown was a brilliant scarlet silk.
Josette shook her head. “You can’t wear this. It’s
far too … too bold. What could Jared have been thinking?”
She knew exactly what Jared had been thinking.
A reminder of those nights in the cabin. A silent assertion that he had not forgotten his intention to have her back in his bed. She stared blindly at the gown while memories rushed back to her.
“Cassie?” Josette was looking at her, puzzled.
Cassie tore her gaze from the gown. “I seldom have any idea what Jared is thinking.” She quickly crammed the gown into the rear of her armoire and out of sight. “But you’re right, it’s far too bold.”
“You look very peaceful. Where’s Cassie?” Bradford asked as he strolled into the library, carrying a silver tray burdened with cups and teapot.
“Where is she always?” Lani looked up from her book with a smile. “Out riding with Josette.”
He set the tray down on the table before her and settled himself in the chair opposite her. “Good. Then I’ll have you to myself.”
He poured her tea, then added the milk and dollop of sugar she preferred. He always remembered. From the first day he had come to the library to seek her out several weeks ago, he had subtly insinuated himself into her life. Sometimes he stayed for only an hour, other days he curled up by the fire with a book and stayed until it was time to dress for supper. At first having him constantly around had made her uneasy, but she had gradually become accustomed to his presence.
He poured his own tea and took a sip. “Do you know, I’m beginning to like this. I never dreamed I’d say that about such an innocuous brew.”
She smiled. “But not as much as your brandy?”
“It’s not the stimulant I’d choose.” He leaned back in his chair. “But if you’re hinting I regret no longer drinking, it’s not true. I’ve been amply compensated.” He studied her. “You’re looking quite beautiful today. I like you in yellow.”
“Do you?” She paused, then said deliberately, “So does Charles.”