darknadir (29 page)

* * *

A new supply of sealed packs of Cabbaran food from the
Profit
were discovered in the middle bedroom.
"I hate the way they seem to walk through walls," muttered Tallis, watching as Mrowbay and Sayuk piled the beds in one corner of the lounge.
"It gives me the shivers," said Kate. "They know so much about us all— our food, medicine, everything."
"They could get some of that from the medical computer in our sick bay," said Giyesh. "Mrowbay kept files. I don't think they were wiped."
Kate looked at her gratefully. "It's still frightening."
"Almost as frightening as going back in time," said Tallis carefully.
"Going back in time?" asked Giyesh. "No one can do that."
"Kaid did," said Tallis. "Along with the two in cryo. Kate said she heard about it on a newsvid on Keiss."
Kate nodded an affirmative to the U'Churian female. "They did. It was on the 'vid because it was some religious rite. They got to set up a new Clan because they succeeded. They're En'Shalla now, beyond the laws governing Shola."
"That's a little hard to believe," said Giyesh skeptically. "Perhaps it's meant as a kind of allegory."
"There is such a rite," insisted Tallis. "What did the 'vid say exactly?"
"That they'd gone back to the time of the Cataclysm," Kate said, putting a segment of fruit from the bowl in her mouth and continuing to talk around it. "Apparently the disaster was caused by a Valtegan starship crashing into the smaller moon and sending chunks of debris falling to the surface of Shola. Tidal waves, firestorms, nuclear winter— that kind of thing. The 'vid reporters were more interested in that than anything else. Said we should all cooperate in the drive to uncover Shola's history, which had been lost for so long. They've got archaeologists from Earth doing excavations and suchlike all over Shola."
"Did Kaid and the others bring anything back with them?" Tallis asked carefully.
"Don't know," Kate shrugged. "I didn't hear any mention of it. Why don't you ask Kaid? He was there, after all."
"I don't think our esteemed leader likes me," said Tallis, mouth twisting in a slight grimace. "I think he resents any telepath since his partners went into cryo."
"I've never had a problem talking to him."
"You're not a Sholan telepath. He's certainly got very little time for Rezac, not much for Zashou, and as for Taynar," he shrugged. "Well, he's only a youngling."
Kate frowned.
"You're seeing insults where there's none," said Giyesh. "He's your leader. Like our captain, he's other matters on his mind right now, which is as it should be. Our safety depends on their decisions."
Tallis toyed with a piece of skin from Kate's fruit. "Maybe you're right," he conceded. "It's been hard for him with his lovers in cryo. He's probably finding it difficult to keep his mind on anything much right now."
Giyesh made a small noise of anger. "What's this all about, Tallis? You trying to make us doubt him? It's our job to support our leaders, not undermine them, and especially not in front of young ones."
Tallis tossed the rind onto the table and sat back in his chair. "I'm a civilian, Giyesh. Kaid isn't my leader. I didn't elect him, nor did any of us but T'Chebbi. Even your captain defers to him at times."
A shadow fell over the table. Tallis looked up to see Rezac and Jeran standing beside him.
"Thought we'd join you," said Rezac, sitting down next to him as Jeran took up the offer of part of Giyesh's seat. "Jeran says you're up to your old tricks again, Tallis. I'm giving you a friendly warning— this time."
Tallis could hear and feel the almost soundless growl of displeasure from the telepath. "You the morale officer now, Rezac? Listening in to what everyone says? You're breaking Guild rules, you know. Mental privacy and all that. I'm entitled to my thoughts."
"I'm a civilian too, Tallis. But as for your guild system, it doesn't apply to me. Stop trying to play your little political games right now. We need to be united, and that's difficult enough when we're not all of the same species. We don't need you undermining Kaid or anyone else."
Tallis got to his feet. "I don't like your implications, Rezac. I was merely being friendly, which is more than can be said for you or Kaid." He stalked off to the other side of the room.
Rezac turned to Kate. "Jeran says Tallis was a supervisor at the mining corporation where they worked. He enjoyed snooping on all the employees, reporting any infringements, no matter how small. They reckon he used his Talent to find out what they were up to. I'd think twice before trusting anything he said."
Kate looked from him to Jeran.
He nodded. "You had to watch everything you thought and said when he was around. No one liked him. When the Valtegans took us, it was better for us to forget that, to start fresh. All we had was each other. Even then, he avoided pulling his weight. Left it to Miroshi to do anything that involved using telepathy."
Giyesh growled in annoyance. "I bet he used his ability to make what he said sound more believable too!"
"Probably," agreed Rezac. "He picked on you, Kate, because you have less experience, you'd be easier to influence."
"I'm not a child," she said, finding her voice. "You're right. He was beginning to sound believable. But why? Why bother? What does he gain by doing that?"
"Amusement," said Jeran. "Someone like him, with no friends, has to create situations where he feels important and noticed, even if it's dislike."
"It was more than that," said Giyesh thoughtfully as Jeran moved round to take Tallis' vacant seat. "He was also after information."
"About what?" asked Rezac.
"Going back in time." She looked strangely at him. "Did they really do that?"
Rezac nodded. "Kaid said so."
"You came from that time, didn't you? Did what he say sound true?"
So Tirak had told his crew. "Yes, he knew things that only someone who was there could have known," he agreed. "He described people and places I knew. That knowledge couldn't have lasted for fifteen hundred years. What was Tallis interested in about the past?"
"He was asking if they brought anything back with them."
"Kezule." He'd said it before he could stop himself.
"Who?" asked Jeran, frowning.
Rezac shook his head. "Forget it. It's just a name, nothing more. The important thing is to keep an eye on Tallis, make sure he doesn't try that trick on anyone else." He was thinking fast now, had to. He couldn't be sure Tallis hadn't heard him. Better to let Kaid know about it now than have him find out later.
"Not just for Kaid's sake," said Kate. "He was having a go at Captain Tirak as well."
"Keep not just an eye on him then, keep a mental ear out for anything subversive." He pushed himself up from the table. "I'm going to let Kaid know what he was up to."

* * *

"Kezule?" said Kaid. He'd been making a quick visit to the Cabbarans with Tirak and had missed the interchange. "What makes you think he's interested in him?"
"I told you, he was asking if you'd brought anything back from the past."
"But to think he meant Kezule is a rather long leap, Rezac," said Kaid, leaning against the drawer unit.
"You asked me about him at your briefing on the
Profit,
" reminded Rezac, sitting down on his bed. "He's obviously been thinking about the whole issue. Now that I have, it seems obvious to me, too. Did you bring this general back with you?"
There is no reason not to tell him. Might even help if he thought he was being trusted with inside information. "Yes, we did. He's at Shanagi being questioned. They're studying him, trying to find out all they can about his species. This isn't common knowledge, you realize."
Rezac gave him a scathing look. "Don't take me for a fool, Kaid," he said. "I might be younger than you, but I've been around. I've had some experience of leadership."
"I know." Now that they were alone, his curiosity was getting the better of him. "What were you doing in Ranz?"
"Why?" asked Rezac, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.
Kaid shrugged. "Just curious," he said, watching the other's tail tip begin to flick gently. He didn't want to talk about it, obviously. "I wondered why you went there when you lived in the western peninsula."
"I came from Ranz," he said. "My parents owned a general store. I got picked up by the University telepath program. They offered me a chance to get an education and training in my psi abilities, so I took it."
"And the packs?" He knew he was pushing, but he wanted to know.
"What do you know about the packs?" The tail was no longer moving gently, it was an agitated twitch.
"Goran said you were involved with them when the program picked you up." It wasn't strictly true, but he wasn't going to tell Rezac he'd had a vision of him working out with Goran in the gym under the monastery. He could sense the younger male considering his answer, wondering whether to tell him the truth or not.
"Why's it so important to know?" he asked.
"I was in Ranz for several years myself," said Kaid. "With the Claws."
"You?" There was stark incredulity in his voice. "You were with the Claws? You read me, damn you!"
"No," said Kaid. "Ask T'Chebbi. She knows. I was Second. The Brotherhood picked me up and took me to Stronghold." He noticed the other's tail tip lay still now.
"I was with the Claws, too," Rezac admitted. "You couldn't refuse the University recruitment drive. Once they'd spotted me, I had to go. Telepaths of my ability were rare, they said, and offered to move my whole family. So we sold up and went. It was a chance to escape, to start again."
"That's what Zashou can't forgive, your past."
Rezac nodded. "Look, the Claws, they wanted me. They threatened my family to make me join. I tried to stay out, but they started trashing the store. Even then, it wasn't till they took my sister that I agreed."
"No one told me you had a sister." Was it possible he wasn't Rezac's son, but his sister's?
"My family wanted nothing to do with me," he said quietly. "Never spoke to me again after I joined the Claws. They were ashamed and afraid of me. What about you?"
Kaid hesitated. "I was a foundling. I left home for Ranz and fell in with the Claws, that's all."
"You must have been good to become Second."
He shrugged. "The Brotherhood got my past officially erased on the condition I stayed with them. It seemed like a good deal."
"Strange how similiar our past is," murmured Rezac. "At least Carrie didn't hate you for it, like Zashou does me. At least, I presume she didn't."
"No, she'd no problem with that." Rezac's story had shaken him. There was a similarity between them after all, a bizarre one. What were the odds against both of them, so far apart in time, ending up with the same pack? "We'd better return to the lounge," he said. "Don't want the others worrying because we stay away too long." He had to ask this last question. "Did you have someone in Ranz? A Companion?"
"There was someone once, yes, but I had to finish it when the Claws started trying to recruit me. Once I was the Claws' telepath, I was a target for the other packs. They protected my family, but in return, I was one of them, expected to choose one of the pack females. I wasn't exactly a safe person to know back then. Why?"
"Just curious."

* * *

That night, Kaid dreamed of home— a strange dream, crazy and disjointed as most dreams were. Elements of Rezac's story wound their way in and out of his own memories of the Claws for a while. Then they became more focused and he saw his son, Dzaka, keeping watch in the nursery at the villa. Saw him argue with Jack when the doctor came to check on Kashini, then storm out, leaving the Human alone with the child. Mara was working out with Garras' other students in the Warrior's exercise hall— and coming along well, by the look of it. Vanna seemed fine, her pregnancy advancing well as she greeted Brynne and another male from Stronghold.
His thoughts kept returning to his son, though. Dzaka should be with the cub: she was the vulnerable one. In his dream, he tried to reach out to him, to tell him this, but each time he failed. He was about to give up when he saw Dzaka's ears flatten against his skull as slowly he turned round and looked straight at him.
At last!
Guard Kashini well. There's danger approaching,
he sent.
Dzaka's nose wrinkled and his brow creased. He seemed to be peering at him, almost as if he was trying to focus on what he saw.
"Carrie?"

* * *
Day 17

Shock at hearing her name fragmented the images, making him feel as if he was spinning endlessly in space. He was aware of voices, could feel himself being touched. It made him feel unclean, nauseous, and with a strangled growl, he pulled away from the hands that grasped him. His stomach began to spasm and he broke out in a cold sweat. Confused and ill, he knew there was a danger of choking if he vomited. As he pushed himself up on one arm, the voices stopped fading in and out and became distinct.
"Get him the bowl from the table," he heard T'Chebbi say.
He was with his own, then. No longer protesting, he allowed himself to be touched and pulled into a sitting position. Opening his eyes, he found everything blurred. He blinked, trying to clear his sight, and felt the bowl thrust onto his lap. Suddenly light-headed and cold, he grabbed for it.
"Kaid. Kaid." The voice had become insistent.

* * *

He was lying on his back again. Opening his eyes, he looked up at the face swimming above him. T'Chebbi.
"Do you want to sit up?"
Of course he did! Lie here like some beached sea creature? But all that came out was a groan. He let himself once more be slowly pulled into a sitting position, realizing he felt better this time.
"Kaid, you were gone. Do you remember anything?" she asked.
Beyond her he could see Jo and Rezac, concerned looks on their faces.
"Gone where?" he asked, shocked to hear how rough his voice sounded. He swallowed, discovering his throat hurt.
"They took you, like they did the others. Do you remember anything at all?"
This was so confusing. They were mistaken, surely. "I was dreaming," he said hoarsely. "Of home, of Carrie." He ran a shaking hand across his folded back ears. A cup of water appeared. Taking it, he emptied it in one go. He'd been thirsty.
"You were gone for two days. Don't you remember?"
Everything was so vague. "Why do I feel so ill?" he asked. "I told you, I was asleep, dreaming of Carrie— no, not of her, I
was
Carrie!"
T'Chebbi looked briefly at Jo. "Carrie's gone, so is Kusac. We think they're dead, Kaid, that's why you've been so ill. Was like Link deprivation, Rezac says."
Memory returned in stark clarity then. They were dead, and by his hand. "I only remember the dream," he said, his voice hushed as he realized he had to face that possibility.
He sent them away, then lay there, staring at the ceiling, wondering why Dzaka had thought he was Carrie. Could this dream have been one of Carrie's in cryo? Or was it just that Dzaka had recognized her in his mental pattern? Whatever the reason, it had brought the whole question of his Triad partners' survival only too vividly to his attention.
He loved them both— how could he not? They had become his touchstone for what was bright and full of promise for the future, a future of the kind he'd never thought to have for himself. They'd gotten into his heart from almost the first with their courage and determination to stay together and to overcome the odds they knew were stacked against them. It was the little things, a word here, a gesture there that came back to him now, tearing at his heart.
He turned over, burying his face in the sheet beneath him and let the memories he'd blocked return. Vartra had been right about the cost of this venture— it had cost him not one but both of his Triad.
He'd put Kusac through hell during his first few days at Stronghold before accepting that the younger male wouldn't be put off, no matter what was thrown at him. He'd even submitted to being a warm body for inexpert students to practice massage techniques on. It had been, mentally and physically, a painful experience, one Kusac had never had to face before in his sheltered life as a telepath.
The relationship that had been forced on him with Kusac had made him face his own past in a way that his relationship with Garras never had. He'd been the junior sword-brother then, but with Kusac, he'd been senior and had to take responsibility for him. In doing that, he'd been able to come to terms with who and what he was, and accept his own telepathic talent.
He remembered the comfort he'd felt knowing Kusac lay beside him during those nights at Stronghold when he'd doubted his own sanity; remembered the set of his friend's ears, the tilt of his head when puzzled, how his nose would wrinkle in thought— and being teased with a gentle, shared humor for the first time in his life. He missed Kusac's quiet strength at his side. And even before this intimacy, Kusac had trusted him enough to ask him be his third, become one with him and Carrie.
He tensed, anticipating the grief for her, but it wasn't enough. He could have howled it to the moons, it was so deep and pained him so much. It filled every part of his being till there was room for nothing else. He clenched his hands in the bedding, claws puncturing through the fabric into the filling as his tears flowed. The loss of them both was unbearable.
He remembered her scent, the silken feel of her blonde hair as he ran his fingers through it. Her skin, covered in a pale, soft down that was almost invisible. He ached to hold her one more time, to hear her voice, see her smile, feel her touch. He had to believe there was still a chance they were alive, that the warming of the crystal four days ago had been her stirring in cryo.
He wept till he was empty and exhausted, then he walled his grief and fear for them away deep inside and got up. His eyes felt gritty and his head was thick and heavy, but it would pass. He would make it pass.
He showered, finding sore spots on his back and at the sides of his head. Momentarily he wondered about them, then remembered Jo had said he'd been taken by the Primes. He froze, leaning against the cubicle wall. He searched his memory, remembering nothing beyond being afraid of being touched, then realizing it was T'Chebbi and the others. If he had been afraid, it was because he'd been aware, on a subliminal level, of being examined by the Primes.
He searched his body thoroughly then, looking for any other wounds or tender areas, remembering the time Vartra had called him back to the past. The thought of lying helpless and unconscious, being examined intimately for two days bothered him profoundly. He found nothing, but he wasn't reassured. His only comfort was that they'd returned him apparently unharmed.
Showered, his pelt brushed till it was free of loose hair, he dressed and joined the others in the main room. They were eating— he had smelled food, then. Nodding to those who looked up, he strolled over to the food dispenser and chose a meal. Overcoming his instinct to sit alone, he went over to the smaller table where T'Chebbi sat with Rezac, Zashou, and Jo. Because of his wrist psi damper, he was only faintly aware of their concern. Without it, he'd have found being with anyone unbearable right now.
Talk stopped as he sat down. After a minute or two, he glanced up at Rezac. "I'm fine, thanks," he said in Highland, then looked at T'Chebbi. "You coped well, and, no, it won't be a repeat of Stronghold. Now can we please carry on as normal? You said I was gone for two days. How long was I ill?"
"Most of today," said Jo, spooning some food into her mouth. "We'd almost given up on you being returned. Do you remember anything?"
"Only that I didn't want to be touched until I realized it was T'Chebbi and you," he said. "I take it you checked me over when you found me."
"Not at first," said Rezac, pushing the remains of his food around his plate with the fork. "We had to wait until the worst of your sickness was over."
"We needed Rezac's help because you fought so hard. Too much for me and Jo. Had to keep it among our own," said T'Chebbi quietly, moving her plate aside.
"You did fine," he reassured her. "Thank you, Rezac, Jo."
"We found the usual small wounds on your back where samples had been taken, but on you, they'd healed. There were scars," said Zashou.
Kaid glanced up at her, then back to T'Chebbi.
"Had to tell her," she said. "Didn't realize she was looking on your back."
Zashou got abruptly to her feet and left.
"That one is getting on my..." T'Chebbi continued, but Kaid cut her short.
"Leave it alone, T'Chebbi. She's no worse than Khemu was. She couldn't cope either. It takes a strong female to live with one of us. It's not her fault. Did you find anything else?"
T'Chebbi sighed. "Think not, but difficult to tell with all that scarring. Scanner said nothing but traces of drugs."
"We found new marks," said Jo. "On your forehead and temples. Some kind of gel that they hadn't wiped off properly. I'd say they'd done some kind of scan of your brain."
"Or some experiment," he said quietly, heart beating faster as he realized his sickness could have had nothing to do with his Triad partners. "They definitely know we're telepaths, that's why we're being targeted."
"Zashou's running so scared she's sleeping with us, and I mean
with
us," said Rezac worriedly. "You should have known her before all this. She was so different from what she is now. She lives in constant terror of what's going to happen next."
"She was like this on the
Profit,
" said T'Chebbi.
"We've had over three years of this level of fear," said Rezac quietly. "No breaks, only fear. The time in stasis for us wasn't even as long as a night's sleep. One minute we were running from the palace guard, the next we were on Jalna with you."
"Hadn't thought of it like that," admitted T'Chebbi. "Look, I have this problem with females like her. I know I have. Can't help it. They do nothing but mewl, never try to help out."
"Don't underestimate her, T'Chebbi. She pulled her weight, too," said Rezac, looking over to where Zashou sat with Sheeowl.
"Why two days for you and only one for us?" asked Jo. "Was it because you took ill when you were there?"
"Possibly. How did they bring me back?" Kaid asked, taking another mouthful of the meat.
"Heard a noise from the room, rushed in, and you were back," said T'Chebbi. "You were conscious, but only just, and trying to get up. They'd left drugs for you, all neatly labeled with pictures showing the dosage and what they were for."
"Before you ask, they were printed and smelled of nothing," said Rezac.
Kaid looked appraisingly at him. "You'll make a Brother yet. So I was conscious when you found me." He poured himself a drink from the jug on the table. "You said Link deprivation. I don't think so, but it's possible. As you say, it could have started while I was with the Primes."
"They returned you when they thought you were stable," nodded Jo. "Makes sense."
"I said it was
like
Link deprivation," amended Rezac. "In its final stages, and far more violent than anything I experienced."
He nodded. It wasn't what he'd hoped to hear, but it could equally have been caused by them experimenting with his psi talents. However, he didn't want to alarm the others any more than they already were. "Could you identify the drugs?"
"It's only a miniscan. Can't give that much info, even with Sholan drugs," reminded T'Chebbi. "Just showed analgesics and anesthetics, and a couple unidentifiable alien chemicals."
"No psi suppressants?"
"None that we could tell, and the stuff they left for you was to stop you vomiting and sedate you. We don't even have any psi drugs in the medikit. They took 'em out."
"Yet they left me my wrist comm," he said thoughtfully. "Why that and not the drugs?"
"They can take the comm away from you instantly?" suggested Rezac.
"That makes sense, but what doesn't is why they're interested in us, why they took the
M'ijikk
in the first place. No Alliance member ever conducted a First Contact like this. It defies common sense. Their behavior toward us is no basis on which to form any relationship that depends on trust."
"Maybe that's not what they want," said T'Chebbi. "Maybe they're just curious, or checking out the opposition if they decide to start empire building in this sector."
Kaid pushed his plate away. He'd had enough. His stomach was still unsettled. "I need to talk to Tirak." He began to rise but Rezac beat him to it.
"I'll go. You rest," he said.
As Kaid watched him walk across to the captain, T'Chebbi rose and began collecting their plates to return them to the dispenser.
"He feels an affinity with you," said Jo. "Especially now."
Kaid looked questioningly at her. "Now?"
"Your talk a couple of days ago, and because he saw your scars. People have to earn Rezac's respect. They don't get it for free."
He shrugged. "My own fault. I walked into a trap. Not exactly something to be proud of."
"Not the way T'Chebbi told it."
"She's biased," he said, making his tone light. "We go back a long way."