‘Hey, I thought the time of day didn’t matter to you Suckers.’
Gabriel looked annoyed and April inwardly winced. She knew he hated it when she talked about vampires as if they were a species in the zoo.
‘Vampires will kill you in the middle of the day if they have to,’ he said. ‘But they’re more likely to wait until darkness falls. It’s easier.’
‘Wow, you’re really putting my mind at rest,’ she said, although the truth was, being here with Gabriel, she almost felt
silly for imagining things up there in the cemetery.
He reached out and tucked her into another hug. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll look after you.’
‘I know you would, but I don’t think Miss Leicester would approve of my having a chaperone. She’d think we were up to some sort of shenanigans.’
He tilted her chin upwards and kissed her softly.
‘Well maybe she’d be right.’
April giggled and kissed him back, slipping her hands inside Gabriel’s coat. The intensity of her kiss was short-lived, however, as she felt his bones through his clothes. He had lost an awful lot of weight and the power and vitality he had exuded only weeks ago was diminishing. If you didn’t know he was ill, of course, you wouldn’t suspect a thing. His skin was a little less luminous, there were slight dark rings under his eyes, but a stranger would simply think he was tired. April knew better.
God, please don’t die
, she thought, looking into his eyes as they broke apart.
Not yet
.
April had promised she wouldn’t hassle him about his condition, but she found it hard, especially knowing she was responsible.
‘How are you feeling, old man?’ she asked, trying to make a joke of it.
He smiled. ‘I’m fine, April. I feel good. I know you’re worried I’m going to keel over, but I’m all right. I have aches and pains, but that’s just being human again.’
‘Are you sure? I can’t stop thinking about Milo.’
Milo was a boy she had kissed at a party before April had known she had the Fury virus inside her.
‘I only kissed him once and I didn’t know he was a …’ she lowered her voice ‘… a vampire. This Fury virus or whatever the hell it is I’ve got inside me had killed him in a matter of weeks, Gabe. I can’t stand to think the same thing is going to happen to you.’
‘Well maybe I’m stronger than Milo,’ said Gabriel. ‘Or maybe I have some resistance to the virus. I think – I hope
– I’ve been kissing you more than Milo, so I’m guessing I’ve been more exposed to the virus.’
April frowned.
‘Hey, don’t laugh about it,’ she said. ‘This is serious.’
He stopped and stroked her hair back.
‘I know it’s serious, April. I’m the one living with this, remember? I’m just saying that these things aren’t predictable. Some people can survive lung cancer for years while others succumb within days.’
‘I’m not sure you’re reassuring me,’ said April.
‘Well how about I prove it?’ He linked hands with April, and whirled her around in a mad parody of the waltz. ‘Could a dying man dance like this?’
‘Hey, stop! I feel sick!’ She laughed, throwing her arms around his neck. They kissed, her lips against his, savouring the taste, the touch, her lips tingling.
I’m going to miss this
, she thought,
I’m going to miss you
. It was a cruel irony that the kiss which brought them together was the same kiss which would take him away – unless she could find a cure. And there was one: a potion called the Dragon’s Breath, whose recipe was hidden away in a book called the
Albus Libre
. It was supposed to reverse the effects of the Fury virus in a vampire … and it could make Gabriel a fully-fledged Sucker again. Not an ideal solution, but at least he would be alive. The problem was that the
Albus Libre
– never mind the Dragon’s Breath – was a legend: she’d spent days scouring the internet and there wasn’t one mention of it anywhere. It didn’t seem to exist. And there was something else: wherever it was, she wasn’t entirely sure Gabriel wanted her to find it. She had tried to get him involved, tried to discuss her search for the book with him, but he had repeatedly changed the subject or had pulled her in for another kiss, which had made her forget all about it. Maybe it was more of that paranoia, but something was setting off alarm bells for April; it was as if he didn’t
want
to find the book.
‘Gabriel, can I ask you a question?’
‘You can ask, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to answer.’
‘Do you know anything about the
Albus Libre
?’
‘Like what’s in it?’
‘No … more like where it is?’
He shook his head slowly. ‘Don’t you think I’d have said something if I did?’
‘I’ll be honest,’ she said softly, squeezing his hand. ‘I’m not sure you would.’
There had been something about Gabriel since their kiss on the snowy lawns at the Winter Ball all those weeks ago, something that had changed which she just didn’t understand. He seemed to be enjoying the prospect of death.
‘Don’t you want to get well?’
‘Of course I do.’ But he looked away as he said it.
‘Gabriel …’
He touched his hand gently to her face.
‘I know you’re trying to help, but think what this is like for me. Whatever I do, I lose you. I can’t be with you if I die and I can’t be with you if I go back to being a vampire. And faced with that, just being dead almost seems preferable.’
‘Gabriel, no!’ she gasped. ‘You can’t say that!’
His face hardened.
‘April, I know this is hard for you to understand, impossible in fact. But think about what you’re asking me to do; you’re asking me to become a monster. I know I’m dying and now I’ve found you it hurts to think of losing you, but you have to understand what it’s like to be … in the grip of the dark. It’s so hard to control.’
There was something in his eyes April didn’t think she’d seen before. Fear. He wasn’t afraid of death or pain or never-ending maths lessons, but he was scared of becoming a vampire again.
‘I’m sorry. I didn’t know.’
‘It’s like being trapped in a black tunnel,’ he said quietly. ‘All you think about is feeding, everyone around you is a potential victim; every day offers temptation after temptation. You can smell it, see it – I look at someone on the tube, I can almost
taste the blood rushing through them. All I have to do is reach out and sometimes …’
He trailed off. ‘It’s hell, April. Truly. Every day was hell until your kiss set me free, and now you’re asking me to go back to it.’
She pulled him closer.
‘But it’s the only way we can be together. And remember it’s not for ever, you just have to stay alive long enough to find the vampire who turned you into that “monster”. Then we can kiss for as long as we like.’
He smiled sadly.
‘I know.’
They walked across Pond Square toward April’s house, their steps slowing as they got closer.
‘I’ll see you tomorrow?’ she said, wondering if he knew it was her birthday. Probably not, why would he? April hadn’t mentioned it to anyone, and it seemed a bit trivial after all that had happened.
It’s enough that I can be with you
, she thought, turning her face up for a kiss. He smiled but put a finger to her lips, nodding towards the police car parked just down from April’s front door.
‘Not with all eyes on us.’
The police had been there since the attack. Partly for reassurance and protection, and partly to discourage the press from knocking on the door.
‘I don’t think the police will care,’ she said, winding her arms around his neck.
‘Well what about your mum?’ He smiled.
‘Oh she’d want us to kiss. She’s very modern that way.’
He looked around the square, then pulled her behind a tree. ‘It’s not that,’ he said seriously. ‘We’ve got to be careful. We can’t act too much as if we’re going out. I think we need to cool it a bit.’
April felt her stomach turn over.
‘Cool it? Why?’ she said. Was he dumping her?
‘Because I want to protect you. We don’t know how this
virus is going to affect me. If people see us as an item, going around kissing, and then I suddenly get ill …’
‘But everyone saw you kissing me at the Winter Ball,’ she protested.
‘Yes, but just once – and they also saw you pushing me away. We need to keep that distance between us, make the vamps think I’m the last person you’d want to kiss. That’s why I’ve been careful to only meet when there’s no one else around.’
‘But Gabe …’ she said, her heart hammering.
‘No, April,’ he said, ‘it’s the only way. Vampires are careful, paranoid creatures, they have to be. Some of them must suspect there’s a Fury out there. Milo’s death was a big clue – and if they’ve made that connection, they’ll guess that the Fury is someone at the school. If I do suddenly get sick and we’re together, you’ll be Public Enemy Number One.’
April wished she could protest, but she knew he was right. She touched the scar on her neck again; she had barely survived the attack of one monster, if they all turned on her, she wouldn’t stand a chance. And it was only for a while, wasn’t it? Until they could find a way out of this mess.
Seeing her dismay, he cupped her chin and turned her face up to his. ‘Are you scared they’ll find you?’
‘Not as scared as I am of losing you.’
He smiled.
‘You won’t lose me. We just have to pretend for a while.’
‘So what’s the point? Why are we together if we can’t
be
together?’
‘Why?’ he said, backing her up against the tree and kissing her, his body pressed against hers. ‘Th
at’s
why. I’m only saying in public, April. Otherwise we can be together whenever, and wherever we can. I’m very good at sneaking about in the dark.’
‘I don’t think my mum’s liberal attitude will stretch that far.’
He kissed her again, his lips soft, his arms strong. She wished they could stay that way for ever, his heat against her, addicted to each other, yearning for more. There had to be a way. She had to find it.
April’s mother was sitting in the kitchen, her head in her hands, her blonde hair sticking up in tufts between her fingers.
‘Is is really necessary to slam the door so loudly?’ she said without looking up.
‘Good to see you too, Mum,’ said April. She opened the fridge, took out some juice and closed the door with a thump.
‘April!’
‘Sorry,’ said April. ‘Just getting a drink. Looks like you’ve been helping yourself too.’
There was a glass of dark red liquid in front of her mother. A Bloody Mary, April guessed, with more vodka than tomato in it if she knew Silvia. In her head, April always used her mother’s first name. That way it felt as if she was just some friend of the family. April couldn’t stand the idea of being tied to her for ever.
‘Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, darling,’ said Silvia, squinting up at April. ‘Anyway, why are you in such a chirpy mood? I thought you were all depressed about going back to school. That “Mum, I can’t get my hair done”, “Mum, you don’t understand my pain” routine.’
‘Obviously you don’t understand my pain, Mother,’ said April, sipping her juice. ‘Or you wouldn’t be making fun of it. Life has moved on from when you were my age, we have telephones and cars now.’
‘I’m not that old, darling. I had my moments.’
‘So Gramps is always telling me.’
Silvia rolled her eyes. ‘Pass me the paracetamol from the cupboard? I think I’m coming down with something.’
‘White wine, I should think.’
April passed the tub across and watched as Silvia shook some pills out.
‘So what are we going to do for the big day tomorrow?’ her mother asked.
‘Nothing. I just want to forget all about it. If Dad can’t be here, then … well, you know.’
Silvia reached out to her and squeezed her hand.
‘I know, but I think we should be celebrating life while we’re here, don’t you?’
April shook her head.
‘Seriously, Mum, I don’t want to make a fuss. Please?’
Silvia held up a hand. ‘Okay, okay, it’s your choice.’ She gave April a sideways glance. ‘So where have you been this afternoon?’
‘I could ask you the same thing.’
April wasn’t sure where her mother was going at night, but she was coming home drunk and spending the whole morning in bed. There had been a couple of nights when she hadn’t come home at all. It sickened her to think it, given that her father had only been dead a matter of weeks, but April half-suspected that Silvia was dating already. The very idea made her feel sick.
‘Me?’ said Silvia. ‘I’ve been seeing friends if you must know. Do I have to clear it with you first? Anyway, don’t avoid the question. Where were you?’
‘Seeing Dad.’
Silvia paused. April knew she didn’t like her going to the cemetery, not after the business with Marcus Brent, but she couldn’t very well ban her from visiting her father’s tomb.
‘Don’t worry. I was careful,’ she sighed. ‘Miss Leicester wouldn’t let anyone bad into her domain.’