Authors: Jillian Dodd
"I'm sorry. Your mom is planning a trip, so I have a lot on my mind."
"Is something going wrong with the trip?"
"It's my job to make sure nothing goes wrong."
"Oh, okay. So it's next Friday night. Will that work?"
His voice softens. "I'll make it work, Keatyn."
I smile. "Thank you."
Annie screams, "Congrats on Court! Oh my gosh, Keatyn, I'm so excited for you. And a little jealous, too. I wish I could get a gorgeous long gown.”
Scripted out her perfect life.
Soccer.
We're finishing up soccer practice when Peyton smiles and whispers to me, "Done."
"What's done?"
"I have a date who is hotter than Jake and, no offense, hotter than Dawson."
"Who?"
"Dawson's older brother, Camden. But don't tell anyone. I want it to be a surprise. I've been telling Whitney that I don't have a date. That I'm probably going stag. She's been pitying me."
“Why don't you want her to know?"
"Because that's who Whitney really wanted." She leans in close and speaks quietly. "Dawson doesn't even know this. He thought she was a virgin when they did it, but her first time was really with Cam."
As we jog into the locker room, I think about Dawson. How hurt and disgusted he would be if he ever found out the truth.
While I’m changing out of my soccer clothes, Peyton is still spilling. "He totally used her then ditched her. So she settled for Dawson. Told me that she knew he'd grow up to be almost as hot and planned their perfect senior year in detail."
"She scripted out her perfect life?" Wow. Whitney and I aren’t really that different.
I mean, except for the whole bitch part.
Peyton nods, "Exactly."
"So you're taking Cam to rub her face in it?"
"Yep," she says proudly, tightening her ponytail. "I'm tired of her crap. Tired of her telling me who I should date. What I should do. How I should dress. I'm going on record right now." She stands in the center of the locker room and yells out, "I hate square-heeled grandma shoes!" Then she takes a pair of sensible navy pumps out of her locker and whips them into the trash.
I can't help but flash back to Cush taking off the boots that were trying to kill me and how freeing it felt. How it was about more than just a pair of shoes that didn't fit. I was trying to free myself of Vanessa.
She goes on. "I'm popular. I'm in every freaking activity there is. I should just make my own group. Tell her to fuck off."
I scrunch up my nose. "Um, yeah, that might not be the best idea."
She wraps her arm around my shoulder. "And you are just the girl to be my new best friend."
"Um . . ."
She holds up her hand, shushing me. "No. Please. Don't say anything. Let me revel in the freedom."
"Uh, okay," I say, but I'm thinking,
Shit. What did I just get myself into?
Be a rock star.
4:45pm
I stop to get hot chocolates for the girls after dance practice and when I get to our room, Katie, Maggie, and Annie are surrounding Katie's desk.
Katie turns to me. "Keatyn, come here! You have to listen to our new favorite song. And you should see the video. Hang on, I’m going to pull it up. The lead singer. Holy shit. He is so freaking hot. But, like, dreamy. And, I swear, it feels like he's singing to you. Like you're the only girl in the world."
As she pulls up the video, I see the name
Twisted Dreams
dance across the screen.
I slowly drop down onto her bed.
"It's not a real video," she continues. "Apparently, they played this song for the first time at a concert in Stockholm and the crowd went crazy. So the next concert—well, watch. You'll see."
The big stage is completely dark except for a spotlight shining down on Damian, who is sitting on a stool holding a microphone. His guitar strap is across the front of his chest; his guitar pushed around to his back. His head is down and his dark bangs are shagging over his closed eyes. The song starts out slow with only his soulful voice.
She's the kind of girl
Everybody wants be.
But no one sees what's inside,
Or that she cries herself to sleep.
But I see, baby, yeah, I see.
She's Miss Popular,
Floating with the crowd.
But it all feels so empty
That she wants to scream out loud.
But I see, baby, yeah, I see.
Suddenly, the stage lights up. The band starts rocking as Damian stands up, kicks the stool away, and sings loudly.
So forget about them,
Come surf the crowd with me.
It ain't the water,
But, baby, it's plain to see.
You gotta do your own thing.
Forge your own path.
Climb up to the top.
Any way you can.
You gotta do your own thing.
Do it up big.
Launch us to the moon.
Now, everybody sing.
The band joins him singing the chorus and so do Katie and the crowd. My eyes fill with tears. I know this is the song he talked about writing when we were in France this summer. About doing what makes you happy. About not following the crowd.
Be yourself.
Do what you love.
And soon we can all
Be a rock star.
Be a rock star.
You gotta do your own thing
Who cares what they think.
Rocket to the moon.
Come on, everybody sing.
Be yourself.
Do what you love.
And soon we can all
Be a rock star.
Be a rock star.
All three of them are still singing,
Be a rock star, be a rock star,
even after the video is over. Katie swivels on her chair. "Aren't they awesome? I heard they're going to tour Japan next and then, finally, they will be touring here. We have to go see them. Promise me."
I swallow the big lump in my throat and nod at her. "Yeah. We will definitely go."
Katie's phone beeps. She reads it and pops out of her chair excitedly. "That's Dallas. I'm meeting him for dinner, then we're skipping the JV game to study in the library." She laughs. "Actually, I'm hoping
not
to study. If he doesn't kiss me tonight, I don't know what I'm going to do. I want to kiss him so badly. Will you be in the library tutoring Aiden tonight? Or did you already?"
I laugh. "Let's see. I think you should get him to kiss you. Stare at his lips. He'll get the hint. And I am not tutoring Aiden tonight. I think he's going to study with Annie."
"Aiden said he has something else to do tonight," Annie says. "I'm meeting Ace at the game. Are you and Dawson coming?"
"I have those play tryouts.”
"Oh, I suck as a friend." Annie says, "I completely forgot. Good lu—"
"Don't say it," I interrupt her quickly. "You say,
Break a leg.
"
Katie goes, "But you already hurt your knee. Why would we want you to break your leg? A cast would suck. You couldn't dance. It'd be tough to, you know, have fun with Dawson, and you could only wear one shoe."
"Katie."
"Oh, sorry. I'm rambling." She gives me a hug. "Why don't you wish me luck on the kissing, instead?"
"Good luck," I say.
Maggie says, "She is totally right about the shoes, because you'd probably have to wear flats with a cast. And that would suck."
"Hey, speaking of shoes. Should we all go shopping this weekend? I guess I need to find a gown and stuff for dress up days. Annie, you said you wanted a new dress."
Annie starts bouncing up and down. I think she and Katie have been hanging out too much. "That would be so great!"
Maggie screeches, “Yes! I’d much rather have you guys help me pick out a gown than my mother!”
“Where should we go?” Katie asks.
“New York. Dawson will be at Columbia, so I thought we could have a girls’ weekend. Shop all day. Stay at my loft. Party all night.”
“That sounds perfect!” Maggie exclaims.
“Hey, Ariela made Court too. Would you mind if I invited her?”
Katie says, “But she’s a cheerleader? Isn’t she supposed to be our mortal enemy during Homecoming?”
“Technically, yes, but she's really nice," Maggie says wistfully. "We were best friends until I accidentally slept with her ex-boyfriend."
"
Accidentally
slept with him?”
Maggie laughs. "I was drunk."
"Do you hate each other?"
"No, she forgave me, but we really haven't been close since."
“Do you have her number?”
“Yeah, here. I just texted it to you.”
I open the text, add her to my contacts, and text her.
Me: Hey! It’s Keatyn. Congrats on Court! Me, Annie, Maggie, and Katie are going to NY on Saturday morning to go shopping. Maggie and I need dresses and we all want to find stuff to wear for spirit week. We're staying at my loft. Wanna join us?
Ariela: Is Maggie okay with that?
Me: Completely. She says she misses you.
Ariela: Awww. Tell her I miss her too. I hoped to make Court again this year, but I was afraid to buy a dress early and jinx getting nominated. So I need to shop too. I’d love to go!
Me: We plan to shop all day and drink all night. A happy, boy-free night.
Ariela: I could use a boy-free night. Riley pisses me off sometimes.
Me: Why?
Ariela: He hasn't asked me to Homecoming yet!! It's only a week away! Is he going stag?
Me: I'm not sure. I'll ask him.
Yes, I lie to her. But after tomorrow night, she won't be mad anymore.
Ariela: Thanks :) I can’t wait!
"She's on board, and, Maggie, she says she misses you."
"Oh, that's so sweet. This is such a good idea. All right, I have to get going too. I'm working on a date of my own," she says as they breeze out the door.
As soon as they leave, I send an email to the concierge service for my loft with a long list of food and drinks I want delivered. Then I look at the clock.
Let's see. It's six here, so it should be well after midnight, depending on where he is in Europe.
I push Damian's number and, as usual, he answers right away.
"Keats, what's up?"
"A friend just showed me your video. The new song. It's really great. Catchy. She already has it memorized." I sing, "Be a rock star. Be a rock star."
"I've been wanting to call you. I'm sorry I haven't. You should've been the first one to hear it, since you inspired it with all your drama this summer."
"It's good to know my screwed up life is so inspirational," I say sarcastically.
"Hey, you're the one who told me people could probably relate. And you were right. We performed it one night just to gauge the crowd's reaction. It was nuts. They were singing it with us before it was over. And the label's not stupid. They knew we had a hit on our hands, got us some studio time, and we recorded it quickly. We released it a week ago and it's already hit number two in Japan."
"And there are over a million views on the concert video. Damian, I'm so proud of you. Where are you anyway?"
"Helsinki. We have a show here tomorrow night. That will round out the European tour. We'll be doing some promotional stuff, maybe get some studio time, then back at it in Japan. How's it going there?"
"I'm doing good. I'm dating a guy. He's really sweet . . ."
"Not to interrupt but I think I'm going to be in Miami soon. Special gig. I'll let you know. It'd be great to see you. I miss my Keats."
"I was your Keats before I was anyone else's."
He clears his voice. "You talk to him much?"
"I did something stupid, Damian. Vincent almost found me."
"What did you do?"
I tell him about the surf tournament.
"That's it. I'm kicking his ass."
"All that I just told you about Vincent and that's what you got out of the story? That you need to kick B's ass?"
"Yes. I'm definitely kicking his ass. And if I do Miami, it will be a very last minute surprise-the-audience thing. Not planned like Brook's tour. I really want to see you. What are you doing for the holidays?"
"I don't know. I haven't really thought about it yet."
"I think you should go to
The Crab
."
The Crab
is our secret name for their house in St. Croix.
"Could I? Will your dad be there?"
"No. Marissa is pregnant again."
"Awww!"
"Yeah. It's a boy this time. She wants to name him Rain."
"Well, his sister is named Stormy. I guess that would fit."
"He'll get his ass kicked on the playground with a name like that. Why can't they name him Lightning or Thunderbolt or something tough?"