Daughter of Deliverance (10 page)

“We don't get many visitors here. Tell me more about what you do, about your people.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Oh, anything. Everyone in this country is fascinated by the Hebrews. We heard about how you've won great victories over so many.”

“That's true enough.”

“Well, what about you? Do you have many wives?” she asked.

“No, I don't have any.”

“Not one? A handsome fellow like you?” Keli laughed when she saw the surprise in his eyes at her bold words. “You have to forgive me. We're simple people here. Men marry young and women even younger. I'm surprised you're not married. Do you have a sweetheart?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

Ardon was amused by her straightforwardness. She was turned slightly toward him, her lips parted, anticipation in her eyes. “I have been studying a great deal about the history of our people,” he said, “and I've been training to be a warrior. It takes all my time.”

“Warriors have wives, don't they?”

“Sometimes they do.”

“I believe you must be afraid of women.”

Ardon's feelings were hurt. “Of course I'm not afraid of women!”

“Don't be angry. I was only teasing.” Keli turned to him fully and leaned forward. They were sitting so close he could feel the pressure of her arm against his. It stirred him and he felt a disturbing sense of her beauty.

Keli leaned against him, and the fullness of her figure touched his arm. “You are such a tall, strong fellow. Are all the Hebrews as large as you?”

“Some are—some aren't.”

The moment stretched out. Ardon did not know what to make of her. She was almost like a child in her innocence, but there was nothing childlike about the curves of her full figure or the way in which her eyes took him in. He found himself ill at ease, but something else was working in him, and he said, “You are an attractive young woman, Keli. You must have many suitors.”

“I've had a few, but I haven't chosen one yet. Most of them are so dull. I like a little excitement in a man.”

Ardon's lips broke into a rash grin. He could be a daring fellow at times, though this usually found its expression in battle or in the games he played with the young men. The young woman was tempting indeed. She was anointed with some sort of strong perfume that went right to him. He pulled her close. “You're an enticing woman, and you shouldn't be tempting men.”

Keli laughed softly. She did not draw away as Ardon had expected but put her arms around his neck and pulled his head down. “I like tall men,” she whispered, then put her lips on his. The softness of her lips and the pressure of her body against him stirred Ardon. He was suddenly aware of his loneliness, and knowing he was doing the wrong thing, he put his arms around her and pulled her closer. She did not pull away, and he felt a rush of indescribable feelings. He knew he should pull away, but somehow he could not. Ardon, like all young men, had had his dreams of women. It had disturbed him deeply that it was such a struggle to forget such dreams, and now as he kissed the young woman, she clung to him with a willingness that shocked him. His desire rose like a howling tempest. Everything in him urged him to take her. He knew that she would not turn him away. He was on the verge of completely giving in, but he struggled with his impulses and wrenched himself away and stood up.

“What's the matter?” Keli said, staring up at him, her mouth soft and her lips parted.

“You'd better go back into your house.”

Keli rose to her feet, humiliation on her face. She was being rejected, and Ardon did not know how to find words to soften that. It took all the strength he had to say no, and he felt unclean and filled with sin because of what had happened. “Go into the house,” he said almost harshly.

Keli straightened herself angrily. Her voice was stiff with suppressed rage. “If you're afraid of a woman, how do you think you can defeat the enemies of Israel?” She turned and walked out of the stable without a backward glance.

Ardon was aware that his knees felt weak, and a wave of nausea swept over him. He had come within an inch of committing fornication with this woman. She had been willing, and he recognized in himself that same sort of willingness. He sat down on the bed, aware that his hands were trembling, and he lowered his face into his hands and began to murmur, “Forgive me, God, for thinking such thoughts!”

****

“…and so you see the sacrifices are not all the same. Some are of grain and some are of oil, but the most important of all is the burnt offering—a living animal killed and consumed on the fire.”

Phinehas broke off, for he saw that Ardon's eyes were distant. “Are you listening to me, Ardon?” he asked.

“What? Oh…yes, of course.”

“No you weren't. Your mind was somewhere else.”

“I'm sorry. I guess I am a bit woolly-headed today.” Desperately Ardon tried to throw himself into the heart of the lesson. “You know,” he blurted out, “it must have been wonderful to hear God speak directly. Your grandfather Aaron did, didn't he?”

“Yes, he did. God visited him, but not as often as He visited Moses. My grandfather told me about it many times.”

“I wish God would speak to me.”

“We all wish that,” Phinehas said, smiling, “but that's one thing Moses' book is about. God may not speak to us out of a burning bush, but He's spoken to Moses, and Moses copied His words down, and now we can read in the Book what God demands.”

Phinehas, the grandson of the great Aaron, was the high priest from the house of Levi, and he knew the Law. He had actually helped Moses with the Book, going over it and checking it carefully. He and Ardon were very close, and Phinehas had often said, “That young man Ardon is my best student. He will be a true man of God.”

Now, however, Phinehas studied the youthful face of Ardon and saw that he was troubled. “What's the matter, friend? You can tell me.”

“No I can't.”

“Of course you can. You can tell me anything.”

Ardon's face was swept by a powerful emotion. His words did not flow easily as they usually did. When he tried to speak he could only stutter. “There was this…this young woman…don't you see, and I…I was…interested in her …”

Phinehas listened as Ardon described his encounter with the young woman. He had a great affection for Ardon, as he had for his father, Caleb, and for the entire family.

Ardon finished by saying, “I must be the worst sinner in Israel to have such thoughts.”

“Of course you're not.”

“I tell you I nearly took her, Phinehas. I was that close.”

“And you think that makes you the worst sinner in Israel? Don't you think other men have had that kind of temptation?”

“I don't care about other men. I hate myself for what I almost did.”

“You've got something wrong in your mind about this thing,” Phinehas said quietly. “Listen to me now, friend. You are a man. I am a man. I am the high priest of Israel. Do you not think I have had this feeling, this temptation, to commit fornication?”

Ardon stared openmouthed. “You? You've had trouble with feelings like this?”

“Of course I have. All men do. Don't think you're something unusual. Moses never spoke of it that I know of, but I'm sure he had the same feelings. Why, our fathers Abraham and Isaac and Jacob, they all had to struggle with temptation, many temptations.” He smiled and put his hand on Ardon's arm. “And I'm not sure right now that fornication is the worst sin.”

“What could be worse than that?”

“Pride. Doubt of God. Things that nobody can see and go on inside your heart. These would be worse.”

Phinehas could see that the young man was suffering with his guilt. “You've got to learn to be honest with yourself and with God. You are a man. You're going to be tempted to do wrong. At times you may even give in to that temptation. That doesn't mean you're the worst sinner in Israel, my brother. It simply means that you're on a pilgrimage. On a pilgrimage a man stumbles, he falls, he cuts his knees, he gets scars. But if he loves God, he'll get up, scars and all, and fall forward. Then God has promised to be with him. Now, we will talk about this later, but you must stop beating yourself up.”

“I'll try, Phinehas, but it's hard. I want to be a good man.”

“No, you want to be a
perfect
man, and that man has not lived since Adam. Determine to be obedient to God and make up your mind when you fail that you won't quit.”

Ardon studied the face of the priest and knew that he was right. He always was! “I'll try, Phinehas. I'll do my best.”

****

“I've decided to send some men to spy out the land, Caleb.” Joshua had called Caleb into his tent. Now, looking very serious, Joshua abruptly added, “I'm telling you this because I'm going to send Ardon and Othniel to do the job.”

Caleb wrinkled his brow. “I understand Ardon. He's a fine soldier, but Othniel—you'd better think twice about him. Why would you choose him? He's never shown any signs of being responsible.”

“I've never told you this, but your brother Kenaz saved my life one time.”

“I didn't know that. He never spoke of it.”

“I'm sure he didn't. He was a modest fellow. We were hunting together and a lion came out. I was caught totally helpless. Kenaz stood his ground and sent an arrow straight into the lion's open mouth. It killed him instantly. That lion would have destroyed me. I tried many times to thank him, but every time he just laughed. You know how he was.”

“That sounds like him all right. He was a good man. I wish Othniel were more like him.”

“Well, I think I owe Kenaz something. Besides that, I think I see some potential in Othniel. I may be wrong, but I see a good man under that woman-chasing exterior. I want to give him a chance to become a man. So we'll send the two of them out together. It'll be all right. Ardon will keep an eye on him. You talk to him.”

****

“Joshua has given me a mission, and he's chosen you two to carry it out.”

Ardon and Othniel stood before Caleb. They had been brought in immediately, and now they listened as Caleb said, “Joshua wants to get some idea about the city of Jericho. It's the most powerful city in our way. We can't conquer the land until Jericho is conquered. Joshua wants to know more about it. How many soldiers are there? What kinds of weapons do they have? Are they good soldiers? The things we need to know that would help us.”

Othniel shifted uncomfortably. “Did he really say I was to go, Uncle?”

“Yes.”

“I don't see why. I'm not much of a soldier.”

“Joshua is the commander in chief, Othniel. You'll go, and you, Ardon, will keep an eye on him. Joshua is putting a lot of trust in you, and so am I.”

“I'll do it, Father,” Ardon said. He felt a gush of relief that he was able to do something to wipe out the sinful feelings that had been his since he had nearly fallen to the wiles of the Amalachite woman. He said, “Tell us everything you want to know.”

The two young men listened. After a while Caleb said, “You'll leave at dawn tomorrow. Make sure your weapons are ready. Joshua and I are depending on you two, so be faithful.”

As the two young men left, Ardon was exultant, but he saw that Othniel was glum. “What's the matter with you, Othniel? This is the chance of a lifetime!”

Ariel closely watched Ardon prepare to leave on his mission. Caleb had told her the sort of mission it was, and she had asked him if it would be dangerous. He had replied brusquely, “Of course it's dangerous. Every mission in a war is dangerous. Now, go away and don't bother your brother.”

Ariel ignored Caleb's order, however, and stayed to talk to her brother. “I'm worried about you, Ardon.”

Ardon looked up, surprised. “What are you worried about?”

“You could be hurt. It's a dangerous thing you're going to do.”

Ardon came over and put his hand under Ariel's chin. The two were very close, and he studied her face with a smile. “It's exactly what I need.”

“Something's been bothering you lately. What is it?”

Ardon was not surprised at her ability to read his moods. “Oh, nothing, really.”

“I believe you are troubled. You can tell me.” She frowned. “It's not a woman, is it?”

“No, not a woman,” Ardon said.

Ariel stared at him. “You said that too quickly. I believe it is a woman. Who is she?”

Ardon was uncomfortable with the conversation. “You're too curious. There's nothing wrong with me. It'll be good for me to go on this trip.”

Ariel knew she had touched a sore spot, and that made her unhappy. She had long wondered why Ardon had not yet taken a bride. He was twenty-five, and many young men were married and had families by his age. But he had not shown the same interest in women as their cousin Othniel had. Thinking of Othniel made Ariel shake her head. “I don't know why Joshua chose Othniel to go with you. You need a hard, tough soldier so you can protect each other.”

“Joshua knows best.”

“What good will Othniel be? All he can do is sing songs, eat, and romance loose women.”

“Don't be so hard on him.”

“You're hard on him yourself. I've heard you lecture him about such things.”

Ardon remembered the conversation he had had with Phinehas. The priest had said something very like this. Ardon had been thinking of it ever since with a troubled mind. He had always been so sure of himself. That he was right and Othniel was wrong. Now the close encounter he had had with the young Amalachite woman was troublesome to him, and he said in defense of Othniel, “He'll grow out of it.”

“Grow out of it? He's twenty-one years old, Ardon. He's not growing out of anything. He's getting worse. Why don't you ask Father to let you take somebody else? Take Menaz. He's a fine soldier.”