Daughter of the Disgraced King (17 page)

Jathan stared out at the desert for a long moment. “You
know, the only other time I climbed up here, it was to see where my father—my
real father—died.”

Ailsa’s head swiveled toward him. “What?”

Jathan didn’t turn away from the view. “My father was a
green mage. He left Far Terra in protest when the barons forced your father to
abdicate, but he died on the way home. Drowned, his companions said. That never
made sense to me until what you said about flash floods.” He huffed something
that wasn’t quite a laugh. “I had all sorts of misconceptions about what must
have happened to him when I was younger.”

He felt Ailsa squeeze his hand. “I’m sorry, Jathan.”

He shrugged. “I never even met him, but I think I understand
him a little better now.”

He hadn’t properly appreciated it when he’d climbed this
ridge before. He’d been preoccupied then with thoughts of his lost father. Far
Terra was a true masterpiece of magecraft, but unfinished. There was so much
still to do. His magic, even thinned as it was in this barren neighborhood,
fairly itched to be at work. He could see why his father would risk so much to
be part of that creation. In a strange way, Far Terra was his legacy, too. As
much as it was Ailsa’s.

“Now that’s a challenge worthy of an eighth-level green
mage,” Jathan said. “Wouldn’t that be something? Maybe we could work together,
like on that burned area.” The only thing better than working on a project like
that would be to continue the soaring feeling of working magic along with
Ailsa.

Ailsa turned to smile at him. “Maybe we could.”

~

When they got back to the lodge, still sticky from the sweat
of the climb, the princes immediately headed for a swim. Mayra was already
floating a little way out. Ailsa stood gazing at the lodge’s private lake. The
water looked cool and refreshing, but this lake didn’t seem to have the
extensive shallows of the lake by the inn. At least, there weren’t the stands
of reeds or mats of friendly water lilies. Not nearly as safe. She hadn’t yet
been in much deeper than her knees.

Arrigo and Artair, apparently having just shucked out of
their trousers and tunic, cannonballed into the water, throwing up huge
splashes of water. Ailsa shook her head and turned for the quiet promenade,
instead. After a walk in the cool shade of the trees, she’d go up and bathe. A
little time to herself to think about the events of the last few days wouldn’t
be such a bad thing. She stopped when Mayra called to her.

“Aren’t you coming in, Ailsa?” Mayra paddled closer to the
shore.

Ailsa looked out toward the lake, where the laughter of the
princes mingled until it was impossible to tell one from another. Except
Jathan. She could pick his laughter out, rising above the others. “Not this
time. I think I’ll just take a walk around the promenade and then get a bath.
Probably get cleaner that way, anyway.”

Mayra shrugged and turned back into the lake. “Suit
yourself.”

Ailsa walked on toward the back of the lodge and the
promenade. She hadn’t had a chance to see it in daylight yet, but she knew that
some of the huge trees with shaggy red bark stood around that loop. She’d
sensed them when she was out there with Mayra. She saw the first one as she
came around a curve in the boardwalk. Massive, older than any other living
thing she’d ever been this close to, and serene. Ailsa reached out to touch the
rough bark. She could use a little of that tranquility right now.

For a little while, she’d felt new possibilities opening up
for her. First Sav’s proposal, Grandmama’s rosy notions of having both Sav and
her magic, new friends in an environment where she was accepted for herself.
Anything had seemed possible. It only hurt more now that her options were
narrowing down again. She couldn’t give up her magic or turn her back on Far
Terra. She’d stay and become a full-fledged green mage and then go back to do
what she could for her homeland. That almost certainly meant giving up Sav.
And, in spite of Mayra’s ideas, it meant being alone, too. Oh, maybe she’d get
to work with Jathan or another mage every now and then. But no other mage was
going to go out to live in Far Terra. Not with King Ewart’s oppressive
policies. She’d be an outcast again, with only occasional visits with her
friends from the Institute.

Ailsa sighed. She’d always known it would be that way. She’d
accepted her true purpose before Sav made his impossible proposal. She shouldn’t
have let herself think otherwise, even for a little while.

~

Jathan treaded water and looked up the shore behind Mayra. “Isn’t
Ailsa coming?”

“No. I think she’s still a little afraid of the water.”
Mayra looked over to where Arrigo came up from a deep dive, perfectly placed to
pull both Artair and Rishiart under. All three came up spluttering. “Or some of
the water life, anyway.”

Jathan frowned. “After Father’s warning, none of them will
dare to rough house with her. I’d see to that, if necessary.”

Mayra cocked her head to the side. “You like Ailsa, don’t
you?”

Trust Mayra to strike too near the truth.
Jathan
shrugged, trying to appear casual. “Of course I like Ailsa. So do you.”

Mayra smiled. “Maybe not in the same way, though.”

Jathan huffed. The last thing he wanted was Mayra and the
terrible three teasing him—and worse, Ailsa. “Mayra—”

Mayra held up a hand to stop him. “I think you’ve noticed
that Ailsa’s been a little sad since we got here. And you’ve been trying to
cheer her up.”

Jathan blinked at the apparent change of subject. “Well,
sure, but—”

Mayra nodded. “Now, I’m not going to tell you anything Ailsa’s
said in confidence, but . . . you’re doing it wrong.”

Jathan’s brows drew down. “Huh?”

“Ailsa knows what she has to do—develop her magic and go
back to Far Terra. Reminding her of that isn’t helping. Because of the screwy
way Far Terra is run and the way she’s been treated there, she thinks that
means she has to give up . . . other things that most girls want. And that
makes her sad. Now,
if
you think you can show her that isn’t true,
then
maybe you can cheer her up. I think she was going to walk the promenade just
now.” Mayra started to paddle out past Jathan.

Jathan continued to tread water, looking back toward the
forest beyond the lodge. It was obvious to him that Ailsa would use her magic
for the good of Far Terra. Why would she think that meant she had to give
anything else up? Well, yes, he knew her life had been difficult before, but .
. . that didn’t have to mean things would be the same. In fact, he was sure
they wouldn’t, in more ways than one. It was true that Ailsa had seemed . . .
subdued. Still . . . Mayra could easily be reading things that weren’t there.
Wouldn’t be the first time. “It’s no good, you know. She’s a real princess.
Probably meant for some real prince, somewhere.”

Mayra stopped and sent a splash of water right for Jathan’s
face. “You
are
a real prince, you idiot. Oh, you’ll never be emperor,
but then neither will Rishiart or Arrigo and they’re certainly real princes. Stop
dwelling on something Arrigo said what, seven or eight years ago now. Anyway, I
seem to remember Father punishing Arrigo for that—because he was lying. If you
let that stop you, some other prince who doesn’t stop to wonder if he’s real or
not will cut you out.” She sent another splash in his direction and then swam
out into the deep water

Jathan looked back over his shoulder and then waded out of
the lake. He wasn’t surprised that someone had left towels and clean clothes
nearby. No combs or brushes, though. His hair would be unruly, but otherwise he
could make himself reasonably presentable.

Jathan found Ailsa leaning against the trunk of one of the
giant trees along the promenade as if she was drawing strength from it. As a
green mage, maybe she was. “You don’t seem to be very happy here.”

Ailsa jumped at the sound of his voice and turned toward him
as if she hadn’t heard his booted tread on the boardwalk. “Oh. It’s not that. I
love it here.”

Jathan took another step nearer to her. “But you’re not
happy.”

Ailsa attempted a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “I am
when we’re out exploring the forests. It’s only when we come back that . . . I
have too much time to think.”

“What do you think about that makes you so sad?” Jathan
asked.

Ailsa sighed. “Going back to Far Terra. I have to. No one else
can do what I can for Far Terra.” She swallowed what might have been a sad kind
of chuckle. “Well, I suppose you could, but you don’t know Far Terra the way I
do. You’re not from there.”

“So, why does that make you sad? I guarantee things won’t be
the same when you go back. If nothing else, you will have changed.”

Ailsa shook her head. “Oh yes they will. The important things
will, anyway. King Ewart isn’t about to let
that
change. He
can’t
.
If anything, it’ll be even more . . . lonely.”

Jathan stepped forward and took her hands. “It doesn’t have
to be that way.” He freed one hand to tip her face up to his. “I’ll give you
two reasons to stop worrying about that. The first is my stepfather. I know he’s
not happy with the way Far Terra is being run.”

Ailsa clutched Jathan’s hands. “But he’s not going to do
anything about it. What
can
he do?”

Jathan chuckled, rubbing Ailsa’s palms with his thumbs. “What
can’t
he do? Have you ever read the treaty that reunited Far Terra with
the empire? It gives the emperor very broad powers. Now, I know my stepfather.
Outside of an emergency, he’ll study an issue from all sides and consult with
people who know more than he does about it before he makes a decision. But once
he decides, things start to happen pretty quickly. And he’s got his eyes on Far
Terra right now. I wouldn’t count on the situation in Far Terra staying the
same for very long. Not if I know my stepfather.

“And, anyway, just because people in Far Terra treated you
badly, doesn’t mean that others don’t have better sense.”

“I know I have friends here, but . . . that’s here. Nobody would
stay for long in Far Terra,” Ailsa said.

One side of Jathan’s mouth twitched up. “Well, now. First, I’ve
already told you that I expect things to change in Far Terra. Second, I imagine
whether or not someone would be willing to stay there might depend on the
incentives.”

Ailsa snorted. “What incentives? King Ewart does his best to
discourage mages.”

“You, for instance.” Jathan leaned forward and pressed his
lips to hers. He’d surprised her; he could tell that the way her eyes widened
before she closed them. Why not? He’d half surprised himself and he’d wanted to
kiss her—really kiss her—since the Solstice Ball. But . . . she didn’t pull
away, so he opened his lips to tickle hers with his tongue. Her lips parted,
too, and he felt something like an electric jolt as his tongue slid between her
teeth. She tasted of salt—sweat or tears, he couldn’t tell—and deliciously of
something very like roses. He slipped his arm around her to pull her closer and
gave all his attention to their lips.

The feeling of static electricity spread across his skin,
building and transforming until it was like the wild, euphoric feeling he’d
experienced when their magic joined across that burned ravine. Every inch of
his skin fizzled with it. The world around him seemed to be filtered through a
green haze. When his lungs wouldn’t take it anymore, he broke the kiss off; the
green lingered, fading slowly.

Jathan breathed out. “Wow. You know, I’ve wanted to do that for
a while now, but . . . I’ve never felt anything like that before.”

Ailsa continued to cling to him as if she needed him for
balance. He could relate to that. He felt a little woozy himself. Jathan bent
his head to Ailsa’s again, but drew back at the sound of footsteps on the
boardwalk. They sprang apart as his mother and stepfather appeared around the
bend in the promenade. Ailsa put a hand on the tree trunk, as if to steady
herself. Her breathing was fast and a little ragged. Come to think of it, so
was his.

The emperor looked between the two of them, eyebrows
slightly raised. “I expected you to be out in the lake, swimming with the
others.”

Jathan shrugged, trying to appear casual. “Ailsa didn’t want
to swim, so we took a walk in the shade instead and . . . ah . . . stopped to
talk for a moment.”

The emperor’s eyebrows drew down and he looked over to
Ailsa. “I hope my sons haven’t done anything to frighten you again.”

“Oh, it’s not that,” Ailsa said. “To tell you the truth, I was
more comfortable in the lake back at the inn.”

“But that’s bigger and deeper,” the emperor said. “It’s
actually more dangerous.”

“Oh. But it also has cattails and water lilies. This lake
feels less . . . welcoming.”

Mother smiled and patted Ailsa’s shoulder. “Quite natural
for a green mage. It’s instinctive to feel more comfortable around the source
of your magic.”

The emperor shrugged and started forward again. “Don’t take
too long with your ‘walk’.”

The empress lingered just a moment longer, looking at the
two of them. “No, I really don’t think you should stay out here alone much
longer.” Then she went to join her husband.

Jathan waited until his parents were out of sight around the
next bend in the boardwalk before reaching for Ailsa’s hand. He smiled. “I
think Father suspects what we were doing right before they showed up.”

Ailsa giggled. “I think your mother does, too.”

Jathan grinned. “Oh, Mother always knows. She has this sixth
sense. Ask Mayra.”

Ailsa looked down and then back up. “Jathan, is it always
like that. When you . . . when you kiss someone?”

Jathan took a half-step closer. “I don’t know. I’ve only
really kissed you once.”

Ailsa looked up into his eyes. “That’s not what I meant. But
. . .” She lifted her face and brought her lips to his again. This time, the
tingling and the green haze built much faster. So did the fierce exhilaration.

Jathan broke off before it completely swept him away—barely.
“Yes. Looks like it’s always like that with you.” His voice sounded shaky in his
own ears.

“Was it . . . was it special?”

Jathan smiled. “This was definitely special. Very special. I’ve
never felt anything like it. And I’ve kissed more than one girl before.” He
cocked his head to one side. “Didn’t it seem special to you?”

Ailsa leaned back against the tree trunk, hands splayed
across the bark. “I don’t really know. I don’t have much to compare it to . . .
I’ve only ever kissed one other young man. At least, only one who meant it. And
only a couple of times. I thought that was special. Now I’m confused.”

He had a rival? Who? Jathan drew a deep breath. “Was that
other time . . . was it like this?”

Ailsa blushed. “No. Not really. But it was . . . exciting in
a different way.”

“Well, kissing is supposed to be pleasant and at least a
little exciting, if you’re doing it right.” The height of elation dropped,
leaving Jathan a little shaken. He really wanted to kiss her again and get it
back. That wouldn’t be a good idea. If she was confused, she clearly needed a
little more time and space.

There was a rival out there somewhere and Jathan definitely
didn’t want to crowd her into preferring that other. Jathan had seen enough of
his stepbrothers’ romantic misadventures not to repeat at least the worst of
their mistakes.

Besides, if he kissed her again right now, he wasn’t sure he’d
be able to break off next time. Best to lighten the mood a little. “Now I know
all the young men in Far Terra must be crazy or blind, if only one of them ever
kissed you.” That made her smile. Good. He took one of her hands in his. “Father’s
going to send someone to find us if we take too much longer out here.”

Ailsa’s shoulders relaxed and she laughed a shaky little
laugh. “Or your mother will. I need to clean up before we dine anyway.”

Jathan threaded her arm through his in imitation of his stepfather.
Just because he wasn’t going to kiss her again—right now, anyway—didn’t mean he
had to let go of her. Not for a minute. At least until they got back to the
lodge. “Well, then, let’s continue our promenade, my lady.”

One side of Ailsa’s mouth twitched up. “We can’t continue
what we hadn’t started. But, let’s complete the loop, anyway.”

~

Jathan hummed to himself as he walked down the corridor past
the open door to his parents’ suite. Ailsa hadn’t rebuffed him. In fact, she’d
kissed him back. She hadn’t even seemed to mind that he wasn’t a real prince. He
was thinking of what other places in the surrounding mountains he could take
Ailsa to. There were literally hundreds of trails around here. Even he and his
stepbrothers hadn’t explored them all. And there wasn’t necessarily any reason
why they always had to go with the full troop—Mayra and his stepbrothers—all
the time. Why not a private picnic in that little dell surrounded by the forest
giants he’d found a couple of years ago?

“Jathan,” his mother called from inside. “Please come here a
moment.”

Jathan turned his head at her voice. Mother was seated by
the window, where she could see through the door to the corridor.
Like she’d
been waiting for me.
He should have known that nothing would slip past his
mother, but he would have expected her to have a little more trust in him.
Well, no way out of it now. He backed up a step and went in. “What is it,
Mother?”

She indicated the chair across from her. “Sit down a moment,
please. I want to talk to you.”

He drew a deep breath and let it out again before sitting
down. “If this is about Ailsa and me, it was nothing but a kiss. And she
enjoyed it as much as I did.”

Mother’s mouth twitched up in a fleeting smile. “I could see
that. But I want to ask you—to warn you—not to . . . push her.”

Jathan felt his face flush. “I would never—”

Mother held up her hand. “I don’t mean that in the way you
think. I know you better than that. I
taught
you better than that. But .
. . for now . . . I think it would be wise if you didn’t repeat that little
scene your stepfather and I interrupted.”

Jathan’s teeth clenched. “Why not? Because she’s a princess?
A real princess, and I’m—”

“Stop that right now.” Mother interrupted him. She shook her
head. “Arrigo should never have planted that idea in your head. And you should
never have allowed it to take root. It’s a weed, Jathan. Pull it out. You are
as much a prince as Arrigo. The emperor says so—and his word is law.”

Jathan’s shoulders relaxed. “Well then, what’s the harm in a
kiss? I’m not going to do anything
inappropriate
or anything she doesn’t
want me to do.”

Mother sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “There are
some aspects of your magic that you don’t understand yet. Right now, I’m not
sure that I’m the right person to explain them to you. Or that this is the
right moment. But it’s also wrong to leave you in the dark. So I’ll say this.
Your magic can . . . confuse you in this. Maybe especially after what you did
at that burned-over ravine on the way here. You may not be feeling what you
think you are. Until you—and Ailsa—understand this better, you shouldn’t push
your limits. Just . . . take it slow.”

Jathan sat back. That kiss had been a lot like the feeling
he’d had after they worked on the burn area together. But . . . he’d felt
something like it even before that, when he kissed her after the Solstice Ball.
And that had only been a peck, scarcely worthy to be called a kiss at all. “But
I liked Ailsa before that, Mother. I like her very much.”

Mother smiled. “I’m glad to hear it. And I’m only saying
that your magic
may
confuse the issue. Not that it has. In fact, I
rather hope that it hasn’t. I like Ailsa very much, too. The point is that you
give yourself long enough to know the difference. I think I’ll have a word with
Mayra, too. You and Ailsa shouldn’t be left alone together too much for the
remainder of our stay.”

“That’s not necessary, Mother,” Jathan said with a sigh. “The
last thing I want to do is confuse Ailsa. I want her to . . .”
What? What
exactly do I want from—or with—Ailsa, besides the obvious?
Maybe he’d
better think about that. “I want her to like me as much as I like her. For
real.”

Mother’s smile grew wider. “That’s my boy. Just take it
slow. You’re young. Neither of you needs to be in any rush.”

~

Ailsa sank back in the warm bath water, letting her muscles
relax. She thought back to that first dizzying kiss with Sav. Then the very
different kiss with Jathan just this afternoon. Different, but even more
wonderful in its own way. Both of them had left her wanting to do it again and
keep on doing it.