Dauntless (The LockDown Series Book 2) (12 page)

“I fucked him, Leighton.” I tell him straight, no hiding the truth or lying, just pure and utter honesty. That is the only way we are going to get past this. I begin to sob loudly, feeling dirty and disgusting. Telling my (was) fiancé that I have been with another man when I am supposed to be faithful to him is something I never wish on anyone. I can’t control the animalistic cries that leave my mouth; they are inhuman and downright scary in sound. I want to rip my own skin off to remove the filth lying there. The memory of his hands on me, touching and feeling me makes my sounds come out worse.

I begin to shake, my body’s way of coping. I can feel the need for more medication hitting, hard. The pain I have been in for the past two days; the sickness, convulsions, migraine and fatigue of the withdrawals has taken its toll on my body. I am well past ready for some tranquilisers. Why I thought I would buy drugs from a person in a club is beyond me. How fucking desperate am I, to risk killing myself for a quick fix?

Leighton is at my side in an instant, holding me and rocking me back and forth. He keeps telling me it is okay, that he is here now. Nothing bad is ever going to happen to me. I know, though, if it did, if something horrendous occurred, it would be because I deserved it, because I was a horrible, poisonous human being.

“I know, baby, I know what happened. You don't need to tell me. Thank you for the truth. It hurts, I’m not going to lie, it hurts so goddamn much, but I understand now. I wish you had spoken to me first. We were so tight, Abbi, we talked about everything, baby.” I nod into his chest, my tears staining and drowning his shirt.

“I know we were. I feel so fucking shitty about it. I wish I had listened to you and let you deal with it.”

“You are a fighter, Abigail; you were born to fight for your freedom. I get why you did it, shit, I would have done so as well if I felt as trapped and frightened as you obviously were. But, you have to trust me, trust that I will do everything in my power to keep you safe and from any harm. You have to understand I know what I’m doing, Abbi.” He lifts my head and wipes my tears away. “Abigail, look at me,” he commands me, my eyes automatically snapping to him, his dominant tone grabbing my attention straight away. “Good girl. Now listen to me very carefully.”

“Leigh...” I try to speak but his eyes focus in on me further, causing me to sink back into myself.

“Zip it, Abigail. Lips sealed until I say you can answer. I talk you listen. Understand?” He is very serious and that is making me so fucking hot that I should be committed. I should not be feeling this way, all wet and warm like this, I have been so selfish and hurtful. “Phillip, he is dead and buried, he is behind us. We cannot change what has happened, but we can forget it and move on. The problem we do need to deal with now is you and this fucking addiction you have. I will not let you near our daughter in the state you got into last night. Do you understand that, Abigail?” he asks me, the way
he says my name has me clenching my inner muscles to stop the juices in my pussy from escaping and embarrassing me at such a serious time. I have seen his dominant side before, I have begged for it in fact, but now, this is a completely new level and Jesus Christ I am fucking liking it.

“You will listen to everything I tell you from now on, Abbi, you will do as your goddamn told or I will spank that arse so fucking hard you won't be able to forget, sweetheart. Do I make myself clear?” Fuck, I hiss between my teeth just about ready to explode. My body aches so much; the pressure inside so intense, any slight friction against my clit is bound to set me off.

“I said. Do. I. Make. Myself. Clear, Abigail?” He accentuates each and every single word, his deep gruff tone sending shivers through and all over my heated body.

“Perfectly,” I squeak out as I hold my thighs together, desperate to put my hand there and rub away the internal itch for an orgasm.

“Now, Abbi, I want you to come home, back to me and our daughter. You will not be touching those tablets ever again, you will not even think about it. There are other ways I can help you alleviate the tension and anxiety, much more effectively and in less harmful ways, but you have to trust me. You have to communicate with me. I believe this can make us stronger, Angel, but I need you with me, as one. We can't keep any secrets from now on, okay?” he tells me. I am curious as to his methods of calming me. I am intrigued and so fucking horny at the idea of him doing anything with me. I’d agree to sign my soul over to the fucking devil for a quick taste.

“Okay, I’ll do it. I know I can. Thank you so much, Leighton,” I tell him, relaxing into his frame. A huge weight has lifted from my shoulders, my body able to stand tall and move forwards.

“Now it’s my turn to be honest, sweetheart.” My eyes flicker to his.

“No, Leighton, there is nothing I want to know. Whatever you have done I don't care.”

“You might care, and we need a level playing field to make this work, so you will listen to me and you will tell me how you feel about it, okay?” I nod to him, urging him to continue.

I know I have given him free rein to do as he pleases, but I pray to God that it didn’t lead him to the one person I would enjoy ripping to shreds. Please do not let it be Kalina.

So I have a plan. I am going to tell her everything that has happened from the moment I saw that CCTV footage. Including my finger fun with Kalina, my cane attack on Delilah and then my awesome back alley bang with Scott. She is going to be completely aware and have no excuse to say I withheld anything from her. This is going to take us to an even ground, a solid foundation on which to move forward.

The next step; I am going to make her aware of who I am, not the Leighton she has become accustomed to, but the real me, the Leighton who will take a paddle to her arse if she ever behaves the way she did, again. The Leighton that will have her pretty mouth gagged so quickly if she ever tries to top me from the bottom again. God I am looking forward to this, far too much, in fact. Some may think it isn’t natural for the human mind to have such deranged and perverse thoughts, but the very idea of having her bound and begging at my mercy, has my dick like granite in seconds. I can already see the submissiveness in her from the times I have slyly dominated her in the past. Her pussy becomes so fucking wet on those occasions, the moment my voice drops an octave and gives her an order she will clench around me.

“Abigail. You need to listen now, okay. I need you to tell me how you feel, do not hold it in, I do not want you worrying yourself or getting yourself needing that shit. Understand?” She nods her head to me, and I fucking hate it. I want to hear her beautiful voice obeying me.

“I said, do you understand, Abigail? This is where you speak.”

“Yes, I understand, but, Leighton, I really don't care. I told you in that letter, you do what you have to, to get past this.” Is she really saying that, does she not understand how much I fucking love her? The only thing that was going to get me past this was her talking to me, telling me the truth. I know she tried, but I was too fucking angry to talk then, I just needed a bit of time away from her, to get my thoughts together so I could approach her without wanting to spank the ever living shit out of her.

“Abigail Adams, I am warning you, open your ears and listen to me.” She nods once and sinks back into herself.

“Okay, so three days ago, as I was packing up to leave, after receiving your text, Tom came in to hack Phillip’s CCTV. We were flicking through and I saw you both on there. I was so fucking angry, so murderous that I had to go to Phillip first before I came to see you. I needed to get rid of the anger boiling up inside me, or the majority of it before I took it all out on you. So anyway, I went straight there from work, I killed him outright.” I'm not going to tell her my sick deranged scene I had him play out, or the fact seeing him so scared had my dick hard. “Kalina was there with him. I was so wound up with tension, so far in Dom space after his blood splattered the floor. Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, me and Kalina, we did stuff. We didn’t fuck, but she did suck me off and I fingered her.” I shiver recalling her. Yes, she is sexy as hell, her pussy is tight as a vice (surprisingly) and yes, she does suck dick so fucking phenomenally any man is lucky to last a minute with her mouth on them, but she is not Abbi, she is not MY Abigail.

“Okay.” I can tell that little fact has hurt her a lot.

“Abigail, how does that make you feel, truthfully?” She needs to be honest; I don't want this ripping her apart anymore. I need her in my life as a whole person, not part of an empty shell that no soul resides in anymore. We have both screwed up monumentally. Me for not making her feel safe enough in her own home, driving her to take it upon herself to sort my mess out, only to make it worse.

“Truthfully, I feel fucking sick to my stomach. Anyone else and I would just brush it off as your own hurt impending your judgment. But her, that stupid little slut, the rat who threatened to help assist killing our baby, by kicking it from my womb, god that hurts so much, Leighton.”

I feel my anger boiling over now, she fucking said what? That bitch will get it I tell you that now. I know a few women who would love to get their hands on her. “Abigail, thank you for telling me that, I will have her dealt with. If I had known she had threatened my child I would have shot the slut too.” I see a stray tear fall from her eyes as she mentally recalls the day this all happened. I haven’t once thought of what Abbi has gone through, and I feel like an arsehole for not taking the time to understand the full extent of everything.

“It’s not your fault, Leighton. I just hate her so fucking much, I want to bury her, its raw and hot inside of me, and I don't think I’ll be happy until she is deformed or dead.” It is easy for me to arrange that in my line of work. I can easily have her disposed of, and after the pain she has caused my fiancée, I am inclined to.

“I can have it arranged, Abbi. If it helps with the pain inside of you, I’d happily put the bullet in her head, myself.” I wipe all of her tears away, kissing each and every one of them, kissing her eyelids and cheeks to soothe her.

“No, Leighton, if it happens, I want to do it. I will get back at her if it’s the last thing I do. She will pay for the pain she caused me.” She sniffles back the sob I know she wants to release, she is so goddamn strong. She has been through hell and back in her life and she is somehow still standing. I admire her for that alone.

“Okay, Angel, I’ll leave it. But if you need help, you know I’d do anything for you, okay?” I reassure her, clutching her face in my palms. I want to kiss her so bad. To feel her lips against mine, to seal the deal and have her mine again. However, I need to get the rest of this out first.

“Abbi, I need to tell you the rest. Are you okay for me to continue?” She nods, no sadness, just pure revenge set in her eyes. I loved seeing it there, reminding me of the passion and burn I have for violence, but I really don’t want her getting herself involved in this lifestyle.

“Ok, so last night after texting you, I received some pictures from Kalina.” I see her physically stiffen, her lips curling up in pure malevolence. “There was an image of you kissing and groping some guy. I got fucking angry. I had to let it out, and before you say anything, no I didn’t go to Kalina. I called Scott and we went to a club we belong to.” I can see the intrigued look in her eyes, the need to know more.

“What type of club?” she asks me, straight out.

“I'm going to be honest here, Abbi. I haven’t been completely open with you from day one. You might have already guessed, but I’m a dominant, and a damn good one at that. Anyway, I’m sure you know what one is, it’s pretty well known these days thanks to that Fifty Shades of Grey bullshit.
I’ve been trying my best not be that person around you, you weren’t ready for it. But Abbi, I need to be me now, and you’re going to have to handle that. I’ll help you, and I won't force you to be involved with it, but I will need to exert some kind of control over you.” I am getting carried away. All I wanted to tell her was that I had gone to the club and what happened with Delilah.

“Anyway, what I’m trying to tell you, babe, is that the club I went to is a BDSM club, I am a member there. I haven’t been since we got together, but after Kalina sent me those pictures, I needed an outlet. I used one of my ex subs, Delilah, well Scott and I both did.” I know she recognised the name straight away from the twitch in her lip. Remembering her fight with Kali at Scott’s birthday last year, she knew how much Kalina wanted to be Delilah.

She sits up higher in her bed, flinching when she puts weight on her busted hands. Every time I glance down to her bandages, I feel ill at the thought of her being alone and scared, without me. I should have been there, heck she should have never been there, she should have been at home with Melissa and me.

“What did you do to her, you and Scott? Both of you, what did you do to her?” She seems genuinely interested, though the slight glimmer in her eyes is telling me the thought of all of it, is getting to her.