Dawn of Darkness (Daeva, #1) (11 page)

"I'm not
angry at you," I said, wondering where he might have gotten that
idea from.

"Then
what is it? Why have you been avoiding me all day? I've been
worried that you might hate me or something."

I looked
away from him, hesitating.

"Come on,
you can talk to me." Ash put an arm around my shoulder. I shrugged
it off.

"I'm
scared, okay? The way things are... I don't know what to think
anymore. It just seemed to happen out of nowhere, and now I'm
scared things are gonna change and we might end up losing our
friendship. I don't want that to happen. I thought I could fix
things if I kept my distance for a while."

Ash
sighed. "I don't think this is something we can just 'fix'. Are you
that worried we could end up as something more than
friends?"

"No," I
replied. "I'm scared that a part of me wants it." It wasn't just
about the sex. It was about the parts that came before and after
it. That night in his arms I felt something I couldn't remember
ever feeling before. It felt like I belonged somewhere, and I
wasn't alone.

"I'm
scared too," he said. "Ever since Lisa, I've been running away,
trying to use my past as an excuse. But now, it scares me to think
of a future where I didn't take this chance. I'm tired of running.
Aren't you?"

"I want
to stop, but I don't know if I can do it."

"You can.
I believe in you. I know you have it in you."

"How can
you be so sure?"

"Because,
you made me feel human again. I didn't think a monster like me
deserved love, not after what I've done. But last night..." His
voice trailed off.

Love. Was
that what I was feeling? The strongest bond between two people, and
the most painful if it was to be severed. It scared the hell out of
me. I tried to imagine my life without Ash, and I couldn't. I was
already in too deep to pull out. There was no more
running.

"I don't
know if I can, but I want to try."

I reached
out to take hold of his hand, and he smiled. Really smiled. If
anyone had thought his smiles were stunning, then they were wrong,
because they paled in comparison to the one I saw then. Or perhaps,
I was seeing it through a different set of eyes.

Ash
pressed his lips hard against mine. I melted into the kiss as he
leaned into me, forcing me onto my back. His tongue dived into my
mouth. His hips ground against mine and I could feel my
self-control begin to crumble around me.

He pulled
back, his lips pressed together and brow furrowed. "Are you sure
this is what you want?"

"Yes," I
whispered.

I saw
Ash's face transform. His smile was replaced by a smirk, and his
eyes filled with a lustful need. His mouth locked onto my neck,
sucking and nipping as his hands found their way underneath my
clothing, wandering over my chest.

"Wait," I
moaned, struggling to catch my breath. I knew sex would be
something Ash wanted, but right now? Without the alcohol my
inhibitions were screaming at me. I wasn't ready.

"Too
fast?"

I nodded.
Ash sat, pulling me up with him. He wrapped his arms around
me.

"How
about this?" he asked.

"I could
get used to it." I sighed, my cheek brushing against
his.

"Oh," he
said, poking the side of my neck. "That's gonna leave a
mark."

I gritted
my teeth. My face flushed with anger. Everyone would see the mark
and know about us. I wasn't sure yet what we were going to tell
everyone. "I'm gonna kill you."

Ash
laughed. "I'm kidding. There's barely even a mark left."

"What are
we going to tell everyone?" I asked. Lucas and Brad would be
delighted, I was sure. Katiya, on the other hand, wouldn't be too
thrilled.

"I don't
wanna hide this from them, but if you're not comfortable telling
them, then we can wait a bit."

I didn't
mind so much if a few people knew, it was more that I was unsure of
how I'd answer the inevitable questions. Did this make me gay? Bi?
Were we serious? All these questions and more, I didn't have the
answers to. It was overwhelming. I pulled away from the embrace,
feeling the sudden urge to run.

"Let's
wait. I have some things I want to figure out first."

"Like
what?"

"It's
embarrassing."

"Mik, if
we're gonna do this, then you need to share these things with me.
Let me help you find the answers." Ash reached up to stroke the
back of my head.

I turned
to face him. "Am I gay?"

"Why does
it matter what you are?" he replied. "Maybe in time you'll figure
it out, but all you need to know for now, is that you're with
me."

"People
are going to ask. What do I tell them?"

"Say
you're Ashexual."

"I'm
being serious," I said, giving him a quick jab to the
arm.

"So was
I." He grinned. "Okay, maybe not completely serious, but I haven't
seen you show any sexual interest in either gender before. Maybe
you're attracted to individuals, and right now, that person happens
to be me."

I
couldn't help but chuckle. It made a weird kind of sense. And I
knew that the events of the previous night wouldn't have happened
with anyone else. It had to be Ash. He was the only one who could
break through my defences, and make me realise that deep down I
didn't want to be alone anymore.

That
evening we discussed how things were going to work between us. We
decided against pushing the beds together, until I was ready to
tell people about our 'thing'. I wasn't even sure what to call it
yet. But Ash did get me to agree to sharing a bed, under the
condition he didn't sleep completely naked. There would be no
contact outside of what was normal for two friends when we were in
public. And in private, Ash agreed, albeit reluctantly, to only
kissing and cuddling until I felt ready.

It all
felt so strange, discussing those things with the person I
considered to be my best friend. But even I couldn't deny he was
more than that to me now, and maybe he had been for some
time.

We had an
early start the next day, so we climbed into bed together. Ash lay
on his back, his arm around me and my head resting on his chest.
His heart thudded in my ear. It was strangely hypnotic and
relaxing. Still, there was a nagging at the back of my mind,
telling me that one day he would be gone, and all that would remain
is heartbreak and despair.

"Don't
leave me," I whispered.

"I won't
ever abandon you. Promise." Ash leaned down to kiss my
forehead.

I closed
my eyes and the sound of his heartbeat was all that was left. There
was no worry, no pain, just that sound drowning out everything
else. Ba-dum. Ba-dum.

The
clanging of bells from across the square jerked me from my sleep.
Ash groaned and stretched his limbs, almost rolling me off the bed.
My bed, I might add.

"Morning," he mumbled.

"Morning." I smiled, and started to get out of bed. Ash
grabbed hold of me and pulled me back down. He rolled over me, onto
his hands and knees, trapping me. His head lowered to meet mine and
he gave me a quick kiss on the lips.

"I don't
wanna get out of bed," he moaned.

"Tough,
you know what happens if we're late."

"Maybe
you could help me wake up then." He grinned, rubbing against me and
revealing that he was already very much awake.

I glared
at him. "Let me up. I need to shower."

"Can I
join you?"

"No," I
replied without pause to think about it. Ash pouted and rolled to
one side, letting me off the bed. "You could use a cold shower
anyway," I told him.

Once we
were showered, dressed, and drank our coffee, we headed over to our
usual meeting spot. As always, Sergeant Locke was waiting for us.
The rest of the squad were already there, dressed in the same
navy-blue joggers and matching t-shirt. Sergeant Locke gave us a
stern look. We were only just on time.

"Okay
soldiers, listen up. A few hours ago, the council approved a top
priority mission. The five of you are to complete this mission
under my supervision."

The air
around us buzzed with excitement and tension.

"Yesterday, the Fifth Covenant squad was investigating an
abandoned bunker north of Rachat, after scouts reported movement in
that area. At approximately nineteen-hundred hours, things started
to get a little weird." There was a long pause. "What little
communication was made with them after that, indicates that
something spooked them. It spooked them so bad they completely lost
it."

There was
an audible gulp to my left. Katiya shifted uneasily on her
feet.

"By
twenty-one hundred hours, all communication with the squad was
lost. We have reason to believe they may have encountered an
'M-type' vampire, and that it is still in there. We're not sure
what its ability is, but the most likely scenario is the vampire
can trigger hallucinations."

The 'M'
stood for mental. This was our way of classifying vampires with a
psychic ability. The other type was 'P' for physical. M-types are
considered to be the most dangerous by far. You can't dodge or
parry their attacks. The only way to defend yourself against an
M-type is to be able to shield yourself, and only those with a
psychic ability of their own could do that. Of the twelve Daeva
enlisted in the army, there were only three of us with a psychic
power, myself and Ash being two of them. That was probably why our
squad was chosen for the mission.

"Reports
also indicate a dozen or so Renfields. White and Hart, you will be
focusing on the vampire. The rest of you are tasked with
eliminating the Renfields."

'Renfield' was the codename we gave to humans who served
vampires. It was believed many of them were traitors, choosing to
side with the vampires in exchange for the promise of power and
immortality. Then there were those afflicted by a vampire's
compulsion. I would have preferred to save the latter, but there
was no way of telling the difference. Army policy was to shoot on
sight, unless it was believed they held valuable
information.

The rest
of the briefing was general information, about the area we would be
investigating, or rather, the lack of information. The bunker only
recently surfaced outside of Montargis, another of France's many
ghost towns. We prepared as we always did, changing into our combat
gear and selecting our weapons.

*****

The
Wisent was waiting for us at the garage, and we began our long
journey. I watched the scenery pass us by through the small
bulletproof window for most of the trip. Our first venture into the
outside world was disappointing to say the least, and for the first
half hour of our trip, I saw nothing I hadn't seen already. Barren
wastelands and ruined towns stretched as far as the eye could see.
Then, slowly, there was a change.

It
started with a patch of green here and there. Then there were
fields of grass, dotted with red and white flowers, and giant
trees. To my amazement we even passed a small herd of wild grey
horses, drinking from a small river. We had horses in Rachat, but
there was something of an ethereal beauty about seeing them in the
wild. Our journey followed the river north for a while, but
eventually our paths diverged, and the colour began to fade from
the landscape, being replaced once more by the cracked earth and
deserted towns.

I sighed,
my mind returning to the mission. If the reports were right, which
I was sure they were, then we would be encountering our first
vampire. Everything we knew about them came from books, or stories
told by retired army veterans. I recalled some of the anecdotes.
They told of vampires with the ability to cause tremors, produce
deafening screeches, and even one that could create darkness and
fill an entire room with it. It made me wonder what type of ability
we would be going up against.

Something
about the way Sergeant Locke described the events had me on edge. I
gripped the edge of my seat. My palms were damp and butterflies
fluttered in my stomach. Ash, who was sat in the seat next to me,
had been silent for most of the trip. He covered my hand with
his.

"You
scared?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"Me too,"
Ash said.

Lucas was
sat opposite us. He lifted his head and gave me a knowing grin. I
pulled my hand free of Ash's. I didn't think Lucas would say
anything, but I was still angry at Ash for having broken our rule
about public contact. But deep down, I wanted him to put his arms
around me and tell me everything was going to be fine, that we'd
kill the vampire and all get home safe. I wanted to feel anything
but the cold fear.

"So you
should be," said Sergeant Locke. "A vampire could tear you limb
from limb in seconds if you let it. The worst mistake you can ever
make, is to not be afraid. You get cocky, and it's
over."