Dawson Bride (Wolf Brides Book 3) (17 page)

Oh, what that word did to my insides. Such fear filled me in the breath before he spoke.

“Oupita had a child, and I think the boy is mine.”

I slapped him across the face so hard my palm stung. And then I was furious with him for hurting my hand with his face. The
clomp, clomp
of my raging footsteps echoed through the clearing as I left the barn and headed straight for the water pump to splash water over my burning cheeks. Oh, I could just strangle the man! He’d loved another. He’d created a family with another! With a woman who wasn’t me! I sobbed and slid to the ground near the water trough. The splintered wood scraped my cheek and I’d probably look like a porcupine when I lifted away from it but none of that mattered.

All that mattered was that
I
didn’t matter as much as I thought.

“Luc,” he said from behind. His hands tried to lift me but I shrugged him off.

“Go away.”

He was quiet for a long time. When he spoke again, his voice sounded like he hadn’t slept in weeks. “I’ll be gone for a couple of days.”

“Good. Go ahead and run.”

“I’m not runnin’ from you, woman. I love you.”

“Don’t you say that to me right now.” I kept my eyes steadily on the tree line behind my trough pillow.

“Jeremiah’s asked me to help drive a shipment of cattle back here.”

I stood and brushed my soaked cheeks with my hand. “Great. I’ll see you when you get back. Don’t father any children while you’re away.” The agony in his blue eyes was almost enough to break me, but my stubborn fury won out. I plucked my dress from the floor of Kristina’s porch and slammed the door behind me.

Gable

Thank the good Lord above it was Jeremiah I was riding with and not Luke. Luke was good for some things, but man he wouldn’t ever shut up about the fifty ways I’d messed up. In contrast, Jeremiah was quiet the first couple of hours we rode. He let me wrap my head around things before he piped up with his opinions.

“It’s become really clear to me you don’t know a damned thing about women,” he said.

“Yeah, well that much has become clear to me, too.” I’d managed, in one day, to offend every women I’d cared about. It must’ve been some sort of record.

“I know you’re pissed at Luke, but we didn’t know how else to tell you.”

“Tell me what? That I had a son I’ll never know? So y’all sent me over to get filleted by Oupita instead of sitting me down and having a discussion?”

“What would you have done when we told you? I’ll tell you what. You would’ve been over there looking for him as soon as you could get a horse saddled.”

He had a point. I hated when Jeremiah was right.

He pulled his cowboy hat farther down on his head. “You should’ve told her.”

“Yeah, Jeremiah. I get that now! How’s that knowledge supposed to help me?”

“Use it for next time. When in doubt, always tell your woman everything. She’ll find out, like they always do, and it’ll be worse on you in the end.”

“You and Lorelei ever fight?”

“Hell yes we do. We like to make up afterward,” he said with a wink. “I can’t say I’ve ever messed up bad enough to get me slapped though.”

I wanted to punch the smugness from his face. “You heard that?”

“Birds fifty miles away probably heard it.” He pursed his lips. “Your face still looks red.”

“Tsh, shut up. I deserved it anyway.”

“Well, on the bright side, you know how she feels about you.”

“She hates me.”

“No, she wouldn’t be fightin’ so hard for you if she hated you.”

“She called Oupita my
true love
.”

Jeremiah’s booming laugh billowed through the trees. “If she ever spent two minutes with you two, she’d know that wasn’t true. You fought more than any two people I’ve ever seen in my life.”

“Then she asked if Oupita was pretty.”

“And you said?”

“Well, I wasn’t going to lie to her.”

“Jesus, Gable. It’s like you want her to shoot you or somethin’.”

“Why’d you ask me to run the cattle with you? You and Luke been doin’ it so long as a team, it don’t make any sense to bring me. I’m a liability, in case you haven’t noticed.”

“No, you ain’t. I was broken to pieces when Anna died and my wolf went nuts. I mean, next to your wolf, mine wasn’t in his right mind at all. You know, I tried to kill Kristina every time I changed from the time I met her till the time I brought Lorelei home? I mean, I was going to eat her, Gable. I wasn’t even mentally present when I was wolf. I just had to pray every time I had to change that I wouldn’t kill somebody. If Lorelei didn’t fix me, I was going to have to take some drastic measures to keep others safe. We had to lock Kristina up tight and I’d spend the whole night scratchin’ on her bedroom wall, trying to get to her. Things happen to our wolves. Things we can’t control, but that don’t mean their unfixable. You just have to figure out a way to slowly build up your human again. I brought you because its time you incorporate yourself back into our family again. You’re our alpha and you’re broken. That has to change because Luke and I can feel it and it has our wolves all but slobbering for the dynamic to improve. Plus, I wanted to give you an out. You and Lucianna will work things out when you get back and she’s had time to cool down. That woman’s got enough stubborn pride to rival even yours, and you hounding her to talk it out ain’t gonna work until she’s sorted through what another women in your life means. What a baby she didn’t know about means.” The reins jangled against the bit in his horse’s mouth as he tugged him around a turn in the road. “You think you’re going to stay here?”

“I don’t know,” I admitted.

“Well, if it ain’t clear, that’s what me and Luke want. It’s what Lorelei and Kristina want, too. They’ve taken a fancy to Lucianna. Our pack would hurt if you left.”

I hadn’t thought about staying past protecting Lucianna, but it was something I needed to talk to her about. It was something I needed to take serious consideration of too. Running hadn’t worked for me. It had crippled me. At some point I needed to put down roots.

****

Lucianna

Time dragged on until it was almost as still as the birds before a storm. The sun never seemed to move in the sky and no matter how busy I kept myself, I couldn’t stop thinking about Gable. I’d had a right to my anger but with time also came new perspective. He’d just found out about his son and the knowledge wrecked him. I could see his breaking soul in the turbulent blue of his eyes. He had a child he’d never get to hold or tell stories to. I tried and miserably failed to imagine that happening to me. He’d already missed six years of the boy’s life and it was only a fraction of what he’d miss in the long run.

Gable had been trying to be honest with me. I could tell because what man in his right mind would admit that his previous love was beautiful to his current love? He’d probably know how to react to these situations more if he hadn’t been running as an animal for all this time. And I’d lit into him like a spike in a railroad tie. The suffering in his eyes when I’d left him out there flashed across my mind over and over, like it was my punishment for pushing him away.

I hefted the sack of seed to better balance it across my chest. A
couple of days
meant two days in my book. We were nearing the end of the third and I grew more and more fidgety as time when on. My eyes never steered far away from the road that edged the field we were planting. Though Kristina, Lorelei, and I weren’t near as fast as Luke, I thought we were making good progress. Planting was backbreaking work that required us to stay hunched over as we dropped seeds into the tiny valleys the plow made.

Every few hours or so, Luke would toss his seed bag to the side and cover our rows with fertile black earth. Then he’d pick right back up again. I’d forgotten my fear of Ralston over the days of work and worry over Gable. Maybe he had, too. I couldn’t imagine him leaving for any other reason, if even for a little while. The peace of this life brought a false sense of security. Oh, I understood nearly everything out here in these woods was trying to kill me, but I was in the company of strong women who tamed werewolves. It was hard to remain intimidated.

I’d been so lost in my thoughts, I came to the end of the last row before I even realized we were nearly done. Two fields planted in two days—not bad. My legs shook and my arms had been singed in the high sun, and I’d never get the filth out from under my fingernails, but there was a great sense of achievement to what we’d done. I scanned the field. Luke was covering the last of our seeds, and the other women looked at me with exhausted relief that was likely mirrored on my own face.

Luke’s startling mossy gaze jerked up from his bent position over the earth. “They’re home.”

With his sensitive ears catching the bellowing of cattle a couple of miles away, Jeremiah and Gable didn’t actually arrive for another hour, which gave me just enough time to clean myself up and fidget myself into a nervous wreck. We’d never fought before. What if he’d decided I was too easily excitable and not worth the effort?

I tried to sit patiently on the front porch with Kristina and Lorelei but the moment I saw his cowboy hat above the hundreds of bellowing beasts I jumped up and paced the yard. I bit my fingernail before I remembered about the dirt underneath. In a very unladylike fashion, I waggled my tongue and spit it out.

Gable only had eyes for the cattle. As they drove them past Lorelei’s house and toward the pond, my heart sank. He hadn’t even looked my way. I melted onto the bottom porch stair. I’d worn my yellow dress and everything. Sure, it boasted a single blood drop on the bosom from either Luke or Gable and their furiously swinging fists a few days ago, and yes, the hem was slightly crooked, but I’d taken the effort and that’s what counted.

Half an hour later, Gable returned and slid from his horse. The girls and I watched as he tied the mount to the post in front, then he snatched my hand. Wordlessly, he pulled me toward the woods and when my limp hindered the speed he apparently wanted, he gave a feral snarl and threw me over his shoulder. Right over his shoulder like a sack of flour!

“What’re you doing?” the panicked part of me asked.

I glanced up to the women on the porch. Kristina was rhythmically thrusting her hips with a ridiculous smile on her face and Lorelei was patiently shaking her head. Oh. That’s what he was doing.

“I think we need to talk,” I said in a small voice.

His voice was almost inhumanly rough. “Don’t want to talk. I’ve stayed human three days so I could be with you.”

He set me down forcefully and his mouth crashed onto mine with the violence of a sand storm. I had things I wanted to say but how could I piece together a coherent thought when he was like this? I threw his hat into the brush as he pressed me against a giant tree. I’d suffocate if he pressed any harder, but I couldn’t find it in me to care. The fabric of my dress scraped against the rough bark of a stout oak.

“Gable Dawson, I wore this dress for you and I swear if you ruin it—”

He yanked me forward and ripped the laces in back, and faster than I thought possible, my dress was in a fluttering pile near his hat. Okay then.

Wolf’s eyes blazed from his face but he didn’t hide them from me. The constant rumble in his throat only made me want him more and a whimper escaped me as I struggled to remove his shirt. It had never been like this between us. His skin burned under my hands, and I ran them over the rippling muscle that ran down his ribcage.

Mine.
I wouldn’t let another woman fill his head. There was only room for me.

As he pressed against me, I ran my nails across the smooth skin of his back. If he wanted to be rough, let the man feel me. Let him bear the bleeding marks that proved he belonged to me alone. A snarl ripped from him and he threw his head back until the muscles in his throat flexed and strained. I grazed his vulnerability with my teeth and his breath turned ragged. His eyes were piercing, inhuman orbs of impossible light in the moment it took him to cover my mouth with his own.

Rucking up my skirts, he settled my back against the rough bark behind me. He didn’t even bother to remove his breeches completely before he slid into me with a noise that sounded like relief. His hand gripped the back of my hair as he bucked into me, faster and harder until my first release pounded through me, and then a second.

It was too fast and I was too sensitive now, and I opened my mouth to tell him so, but he jerked upward and swelled even bigger inside of me. His throbbing release followed as he clung to me like he never wanted to let go.

He’d always been gentle and considerate but not this time. In the cool air of early spring in our corner of these woods, he claimed my heart, body, and soul and offered no apologies for the whirlwind way he satiated us both.

My back hurt like I was a pin cushion, but Gable pulled me away from the tree and lay me on the leaf blanket the trees had provided for us. When he was tucked against me, I cradled my face against the warmth of his chest while he watched the gently swaying branches above. “Gable?”

“Hmm?” he rumbled.

I smiled as my cheek vibrated. “I love you.”

He stopped breathing under me and after a beat, he lifted his head to look at me. His eyes hadn’t darkened a single shade, but the urgency had diminished. His dark eyebrows furrowed in the most serious, beautiful expression I’d ever seen on his face. “I love you, too.”

“And I’m sorry about your son. It must be very hard for you.”

He sighed and lay his head down again. “I’m the one who’s sorry, Lucianna. I handled that in the worst way possible. I’ll be upfront from now on but you have to know, it was never like this between Oupita and I. You don’t ever have to worry about my feelings. My heart is yours.”

“I was just scared and hurt, and it all came out as anger.”

He let off a little growl. “Stop apologizing. You didn’t do nothin’ wrong.”

“Did you really stay human for three days?”

His chuckle rumbled against my ear. “I did and it hurts like hell.”

“I know you need to change, but can I watch?”

“You want to watch me change into a monster?”

“You aren’t a monster, and yes. Kristina and Lorelei told me I should. It will help me to accept all of you. Kristina watches all of Luke’s changes.”

He sat up and I leaned on my locked arm. “Really?” He looked scandalized. “It’s not all puppies and kittens, Lucianna.”

“I know. Kristina said she almost got sick the first time she saw Luke’s. Of course, he gave her no warning.”

“Mine aren’t as bad as Luke’s. It takes him a while to change but for me it’s almost instant. One of the benefits to being broken.”

“Great. I’m ready.”

His dark eyebrows furrowed but eventually he shook his head and said, “Okay,” in a way that sang,
you asked for it
.