Dead Spots (51 page)

“Me, too,” Mackenzie confessed, but the relief that filled her dissolved all her fears.

“So,” Lucas said, eyes lifted to the overcast sky above, “do you think we're out?”

Mackenzie nestled into Lucas's side, her hand holding Johnny's. As she gazed at their faces, her heart didn't feel so tattered anymore. Hope filled in the dark places and chased away the fears. She was uncertain of many things in that moment, but not of the most important thing of all.

At last she said, “We're what's real and we're together.”

“Yeah,” Johnny agreed, nodding his head adamantly.

Lucas cocked his head to gaze into Mackenzie's eyes. “And we want what's real, right?”

“It doesn't matter which world we're in as long as we're together. It's not the world that defines us, but who we are. We can make our own dream palace anywhere.”

Lucas nodded. “Yeah. You're right. Absolutely.”

Setting Johnny down on the ground, Lucas took one hand while Mackenzie took the other. They stood at the top of the steps gazing at the empty road beyond the driveway.

“What now?” Johnny asked.

Mackenzie exchanged glances with Lucas. The warmth in his eyes made her blush and brought a smile to her lips.

“Yeah, Mac, what now?”

With confidence and wonder filling her heart, Mackenzie said, “We make a new life.”

The trio bounded down the stairs and strode toward the world beyond the theater.

 

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Inspired by a terrifying nightmare,
Dead Spots
is rooted in events that transpired in my own life.

In 2010, I had just moved to a new house, and my zombie trilogy, As The World Dies, was out for submission with major publishers. It was a fun yet stressful time. I started feeling a bit under the weather but attributed this to nerves until I woke from a nap one afternoon to discover I was in a pool of blood. Horrified, I realized I was in the midst of a miscarriage. It would take months to recover physically and emotionally.

A week later, a dear friend lost her daughter to stillbirth. The baby was one week from her due date when her heart stopped. An autopsy on the baby and extensive testing on my friend revealed that like 60 percent of all stillbirths, there was no discernible cause of death. The baby had simply died in the womb while my friend was taking a nap on her sofa.

It was in the midst of these tragedies that I dreamed of Mackenzie and the dead spots. I was immediately enraptured with the idea of entering a world where our nightmares are made manifest. I often tell people I write about what I fear. I like stepping up to the precipice and gazing down to see how far I might fall. I once heard that the fear of heights is really the fear of jumping.

I'm prone to jumping.

Enthralled with the idea, I posted on Facebook and asked my fans what they fear most. I was stunned not only by the long list that soon filled my wall but also by how common some of those fears are. The concept behind
Dead Spots
began to evolve, and I grew increasingly excited about the story. But one aspect of my dream haunted me. Mackenzie, like me, my friend, and so many other women, had experienced the awfulness of baby loss.

Diving into a world infested with the manifestations of people's fears was difficult enough, but also taking on a very complicated character dealing with stillbirth was daunting. Whereas Jenni's loss in
The First Days
is the result of a zombie, a creature of make-believe, Mackenzie's loss is a true-life experience for many women. The challenge of writing about a woman suffering through the worst event imaginable for expectant mothers was to keep Mackenzie's loss anchored in reality while taking her into the realm of the fantastical.

Sudden Antenatal Death Syndrome (stillbirth with no cause) claims an estimated twenty-six thousand to thirty thousand babies a year. In an attempt to find my own healing in the aftermath of my miscarriage, I spent hours reading the blogs of women who had suffered baby loss. It's their voices that carried me through the difficult parts of this book. I also owe a debt of thanks to a nurse who cared for women who suffered stillbirth and verified some of the more heartbreaking aspects of my research.

Above all, I am grateful to my dear friend who spoke to me candidly about her loss and the aftermath. Witnessing her struggle to move on from the death of her beloved daughter and embrace life once again with grit, tears, and passion encouraged me to write about Mackenzie and her journey into the realm of nightmares and reminded me that in the darkness the human spirit shines bright.

 

TOR BOOKS BY RHIANNON FRATER

AS THE WORLD DIES

The First Days

Fighting to Survive

Siege

 

Dead Spots

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Rhiannon Frater lives in Texas. She is the author of
The First Days, Fighting to Survive,
and
Siege,
all published by Tor Books, as well as numerous self-published novels. Frater is one of the hosts of
Z Cast,
a podcast devoted to the Syfy series,
Z Nation
. Well-loved in the blogosphere, Frater is active in the goth and horror fiction communities and on the convention circuit.

 

 

This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously.

DEAD SPOTS

Copyright © 2015 by Rhiannon Frater

All rights reserved.

Cover art by Trevillion Images

Cover design by FORT

A Tor Book

Published by Tom Doherty Associates, LLC

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New York, NY 10010

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®
is a registered trademark of Tom Doherty Associates, LLC.

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The Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available upon request.

ISBN 978-0-7653-3715-3 (trade paperback)

ISBN 978-1-4668-3124-7 (e-book)

e-ISBN 9781466831247

First Edition: February 2015